Wednesday, 11 June 2014

This didn't happen to you/you are a bad person/no-one wants to know

Almost as bad as being abused is being told it didn't happen, being shunned, maligned and people turning away, afraid you might 'talk about things'.

I have experienced half of my life being shunned and talked about negatively and told what happened didn't, that I was to blame or an equal participant in sexual abuse.
It harms your soul when you are treated like that.
It makes you angry, which makes the critics and deniers all the more vociferous in denying you and the abuse.
Which makes the anger worse.

And Jane Fisher's denial and refusal to accept a complaint about the way I was treated in Jersey for reporting the churchwarden, is the same sort of thing.
Psychologically wounding, and compounding the situation.

Most victims face this, being made out to be mad and bad, for psychological reactions to abuse and cover up, especially as these reactions can be extreme and can be misunderstood.

In Jersey in 2009, when Phil Warren attacked me for 'what he had heard' about me and St. Andrews, and implied banning me, he didn't expect me to report the matter to Jane Fisher, and he had to rapidly cover his wrongdoing, so he sent an 'apology' in reply to my complaint about his actions, which I sent to him cc Jane Fisher, his apology did not explain why he had behaved as he did, and Jane Fisher claimed the apology was enough and did not investigate why I was being maligned and had been trapped in the prayer room and shouted at and threatened with banning as a result, Phil Warren's 'apology' said 'I never said I would ban you', no but he did imply it, and he was aggressive, did pick a fight when I peacefully went for prayers, did trap me, and was caught out when I let Jane Fisher know, but Jane Fisher, just as she did all along refused to deal with the maligning behind the attack, and instead rubbished me for my concerns and claimed a few lines in and email from Phil Warren was an acceptable apology, although it explained nothing about why he had felt he had the right to attack me on what he had heard, and was not a proper apology, just a cover up, Jane Fisher should have then investigated what Phil Warren had heard and why he had behaved as he did, unprovoked, instead she started slating me for 'bringing up the past' and did not explain herself at all, just as she usually didn't.
The way she treated me enforced the wrongdoing, futher damned and distressed me when I was already very distressed, and didn't deal with the matter, just as she has never dealt with any of the abuse and mistreatment I have suffered and has damned and criminalized me and violated my life over and over and got me a record for my reactions.

safeguarding?

It is usually the victims who suffer, not the perpetrators.


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