Thursday, 12 June 2014

2007 Jersey church

St. Aubin's harbour, where the churchwarden had his boat, we went out on the boat and he talked about sex. The church never warned me that he had a history of inappropriate behaviour.


When I first moved to the Island, I was working on a Sunday.
This made church difficult, so my only options were early morning and evening services.

I always liked 8am communion as it was simple and quiet, this is still the case.
So I started to go to 8am communion at the church down the road from me, which co-incidentally was Phil and Heather Warren's church, but I had no wish to tell them who I was as I wanted no further association with the Lihous at the time. I was very wounded by the Lihous.
I also went to 8am communion at St. Ouens, and later the churchwarden laughed as I continued to go to various 8am communions, and he said another lady in church did this too, 'going round the churches', she, incidentally, was also disabled and also treated badly in church.

Right from the start, I would sit out on the rocks and watch the sunset at Corbiere.

Anyway, so I went to 8am communion at my local church and at the church near work, and then rushed to get to work.

I wanted a local church as my main church, but St. Ouens and the church up the road didn't have an evening service at the time, and my landlord suggested St. Andrews, as his and his partner's friends, the Viberts, went there, and my employers family were also staunch members of that church and financially blessed it as well.
So I guess it was a foregone conclusion, there was no doubt from the start that this was the church I was to go to, and it was indeed one of the churches from my dream before I moved to Jersey, a prophetic dream that showed St. Andrews and St. matthews.

I recoil and the word 'prophetic' now, because in Jersey it was a word that was abused to manipulate people very heavily, and I know prophecy is real but I have been sickened by it being abused, faked and used to make people do things that they shouldn't.

An extreme example is a man who needed to walk with sticks, being told to put his sticks down and walk without them as a 'prophetic' expression of faith, he remained needing his sticks and made to feel he had failed, I was subjected to the same by the same people, in a milder form, told to 'make a prophetic step forward' literally, and 'leave the past' ie the abuse and St. Andrews, behind.

As anyone will realise as they read this, real life is not about suddenly leaving your distress or disability behind in this way, and it is wrong and harmful for this to be done.
-And these same people made me out to be mad!

The affect of this constant spiritual abuse in Jersey as well as the sexual and emotional abuse from the churchwarden, was catastrophic, I was fragile, having grown up with severe spiritual abuse, and Jersey was the last straw for me.



Anyway, so, I went to an evening service at St. Andrews.
I walked in and took a pew at the side, the evening service was small, very small, and was strange, not your normal church service, it had a strange atmosphere and I was not sure about it.

The people I came to think of as 'the fanatics' were there, they kind of walked around 'God-stoned' and not in the real world, really scary, they lived in a fantasy world where they used God for their own purposes, and yet, they didn't seem too bothered about living an example of God's love and Jesus' ethics. They scared me.

And they were my first experience of Jersey cult, with one of them coming up to me with a 'sign' from God for me, which, despite being vulnerable, I took lightly, because although I was vulnerable, I had heard of this sort of manipulation.

So, I sat in the corner and watched this rather weird service.
And then the churchwarden walked in during the service, and walked round hugging and shaking hands with the few people there.

He asked a few people who I was, and he mistook me for a boy, which was not a good start.

He came over and asked if he could sit with me and he told me he was a 'church officer'.
He sat with me, told me he had mistaken me for a boy, and had been corrected.

He sat with me, and he seemed surprised that I knew the Bible when there was a reading, and that I knew about taking communion.

After the service, the Vicar's wife came to sit with us, and the churchwarden significantly said that she was there to keep an eye on him, but I did not know the significance of this, nor did the churchwarden's wife explain this to me, then or ever.
Instead she also started on the 'prophetic', and said she had been 'told by God' that there would be someone new at the service tonight,

now, aside, what kind of God is wasting His time with absolutely pointless signs like this, while in Jersey, abuse victims are crying out for justice and being silenced, suppressed and harassed?
What kind of God, is wasting time on signs and wonders while the very people giving them are silencing and villifying abuse victims to protect dignitaries and the wealthy?
Is there any significant spiritual benefit to vulnerable people in the church and community of Jersey from these signs and wonders?

No, they are manipulation, and the church and community reflect no benefit from this manipulation, there is no sign that Jersey is a more Godly community than most, in fact, in the suppression, the opposite is the case, so maybe they should drop the signs and start focussing on what the Bible asks of them: look after the poor and vulnerable.

And instead of speaking to me about the churchwarden's history, I was given a 'sign' that was of no worth to anyone, that God had said there would be a new person there.
If God has time to do this through them, He would have time to change a rotten church system and protect the vulnerable, and likewise, if He had told the Vicar's wife I was to be there, just for the sake of it, why did he not warn her to protect me from the churchwarden?

As it was, I blanked her sign, and she then allowed the churchwarden to lead me outside and away from the church.


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