Friday 26 June 2015

'There's something wrong with my microphone' said the Vicar...

... 'And also with you!' replied the congregation.

This limerick was blatantly pinched, stolen and nicked from the rightful author, as you can see, I am not bright enough to write something like this, as Peter Ould will confirm. Has Ould been canonised yet? Usually the Church of England promote and canonize any clergy who behave badly.

There once was a Dean called Key
Who broke away from a Bishop’s See
He fell out over Bishop Dakin
Over the fuss he was makin’
And went over to Canterbury
 
There was a Vicar called Ashenden
Who always said he was the Queen’s Chaplain
We are not amused, said the Queen
Either by him or Jersey’s Dean
But we’ll say nothing except Amen

The only reason the Church of England are managing to survive in the mess they are is because of the sheep mentality.



7th Interview with HG

1. Do you like having your photograph taken? Why? Or why not?
No, not really, but on the other hand I don't mind it terribly. My adoptive mum and friends seem to like photos and things, and my Mum once took one of my photo collages to a fellowship meeting to show it off to everyone there, photos of my life, there aren't that many but I guess photos are a good way of remembering good times.

2. Do you like taking photographs? What are your favourite scenes?

Yes, I am a keen photographer, I like to do landscapes, seascapes, wildlife and animals, trains and events.
3. Photographs: do you like scenes or photos of people most, or both? Why?

Scenes, I am too autistic to look at pictures of people much, and I like to see different scenes and landscapes, however, I am quite happy to get photos from my penpals of themselves so I know what they look like.
4. Do you paint or draw? What do you paint or draw?

I don't really paint or draw, for the last 15 years or so, people have tried to get me to paint and draw because a common perception is that it is 'therapeutic' I am not artistic in the painting and drawing way and I get bored and fed up with being encouraged to draw and paint. After my unhappy art classes last year, I refuse to paint or draw.
5. Do you write poetry or short prose? Which do you prefer?

I guess what I write would loosely be described as prose, more often described as rubbish, a bit like rappers just simply  describing life situations while some people say that isn't music, I just write about life and feelings and it isn't really poetry, in 2012, my supporters and I described it as un-poetry as I used it  to help draw me out of the darkness and back into life. It is kind of prose.


6.  Do you know any flower names? Latin names or common names? List a few.

Yes, I had to learn all the ruddy Latin names at college. Verbena bonariensis (my favourite), Fraxinus excelsior, Fraxinus badcanonus, (bahaha), Juniperus horizontalis, etc etc.

7. What is your favourite domestic flower?

Verbena bonariensis
8. What is your favourite wild flower?

Bluebell (English not the invading overseas ones)

8. Do you keep flowers or grow flowers? If you don’t but could, would you, and what would you have?

Complex question.We have a lovely garden where I live, but although I do some work in it, I do not actively grow plants, not this year anyway. I am too busy building up a business and preparing for university.
Yes, I would love to have greenhouses and grow plants again, and maybe next year I will.
I would grow fuschias and Pelargoniums if I could. I am a gardener so I work with plants a lot, but just this year, only just back in work, I don't have the time or facilities to grow plants this year.

9.  Have you been swimming this year? Was it cold?
If you mean sea swimming, yes, I swam for the first time this year a few weeks ago and it was cold., and I swam yesterday and it was warm.
I swim in the pool all year round and it is kind of tepid.