Dakin when are you going to sort your unsafeguarding mess out?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9aLhTHmuTg

Open Letter to Jan Korris

Dear Jan Korris,

I know I have emailed you regarding this matter and have also contacted the BACP. But I often feel that I should speak out and tell the general public of my feelings as well as you, because you don't seem to care very much about the damage you have done.

As I write my series of open letters, I know that they may be all that I leave behind if the Diocese of Winchester are not stopped from destroying me. That is how serious and awful this matter in which you have taken part is.
I am also aware that the Diocese do not want me to be heard.

As a BACP counsellor, you were not qualified to carry out your report, and I cannot understand why a supervisor would apparently allow, condone and uphold what you did, but apparently your supervisor did.

The 'Korris Report', so titled, was made to sound official and important. It was also labelled 'Independent Safeguarding Review for the Diocese of Winchester. But I have to point out, it was not independent because you are not independent, you are a contract counsellor for the Church of England, and as well as not being independent, you, as a counsellor, were not qualified to carry out such a report. But most importantly, your report was based on Jane Fisher's notes and materials, and she had acted seriously unprofessionally and thus should have been being investigated, rather than using the Korris report as a combined cover-up for herself and a way of glorifying the Diocese and church at my expense, making it look like the Church and Diocese cared deeply about safeguarding, while paradoxically both covering up and having me internationally vilified, which is as far from safeguarding as you can get.

The 'Korris Report' was messy, not chronological, very inaccurate, very insulting and psychologically damaging. Did you think, when you wrote it, what the impact of it on me would be, to see it published internationally while I was voiceless and helpless as ignorant people smeared me and jeered at me internationally in the press and media and on social media? Did you even think of that impact, even if you didn't forsee the Jersey Deanery's smear campaign against me? And considering the way I had already been smeared when I was in Jersey and destroyed for reporting my abuser, you should have thought of that. Only you followed Jane Fisher's lead in making the way I was treated in Jersey into my paranoia, because you never interviewed me and totally omitted the incidents of me being attacked and shunned in Jersey. One of which even the Bishop of Winchester acknowledged while Jane Fisher blamed me.

You also omitted from your report the conflicts of interest, which the Church of England have also omitted and ignored, for example these people are conflicted: Ian LeMarquand, Philip and  William Bailhache, Bridget and David Shaw, The Warrens and Lihous, Michael Birt, and many others, so the fact that they have had a say and a voice, quite a loud say and voice, while I have not been included in your report or any report, shows serious misconduct on your part and the part of the Church of England.
If you write a report on someone and omit them, and publish it, having only included the accounts of other people who have done wrong to that person,and enable those wrongdoers to cover up for themselves, then you are simply doing a character assassination, not a report.

Bob Hill thinks your report is great, because despite having seen the Church of England's full and glorious duplicity, he still thinks there is something great about your report, and he has published parts of your report and had me harmed further, alongside the complete strangers attacking and slandering me from the original report.
You are well aware of how I refer to your report. 'The Korris Rubbish'. It doesn't matter to me that you started off by correctly describing some of my interactions with the Dean. You then couldn't continue correctly, because you were using Jane Fisher's notes and also illegally accessing and publishing information that I did not give you consent to access or publish.

Tell me, what do you think the impact on me was of seeing the Diocese of Winchester's side of things published internationally. How do you think it felt to me to see Jane Fisher's excuse of me being 'mentally ill' published internationally to save her skin? Does the word 'engineered' ever enter your mind when you think about my pleas for help in Jersey and then you being fed Jane Fisher's 'truncated'/altered and doctored notes nd her speciality, emails written for the purpose of cover up, so that you could write a report that rather than telling what happened to me, glorifies the church and leaves me being maligned, insulted and shunned by strangers and my community?!

Let me tell you the impact on me. I saved my own life after being left so horrifically damaged by Fisher and Scott-Joynt, and your report and the response to it nearly led to my suicide. Do you still think it is a safeguarding report?

And what has come out of the Korris report? You have permenantly branded me internationally. At the time of you writing your inaccurate report, how may autistic women with a problem with the church and in my age bracket were on the streets? And because I didn't know about the Korris rubbish being published, I had no idea why I was suddenly shunned and people were cold to me and broke off friendships, usually when that starts happening, it is a trademark of Jane Fisher and the Diocese of Winchester and that they have illegally traced me yet again to go on shunning me.
Do you think it helped me to be further defamed and shunned after the level of shunning and branding I had already suffered at the hands of the Diocese of Winchester?
Was it safeguarding?

When the Korris rubbish broke into the international press, the Church were using it purely to glorify themselves, and then of course their was the tough situation of how they had to wriggle out of any liability. How do you think they would do that?
How have they done that? After using your report as part of their pretence of really really caring about safeguarding that came about as a result of them averting a government inquiry into abuse in the Church and them trying to stem the negativity about the Church's inability to safeguard? How would they, having got the 'good publicity' at my expense, then proceed?
Certainly not by proceeding to hear and record my story and recompense me. Do you recall me sending you a massive list of inaccuracies in your awful report?
Did your report get amended?
No.
You sent those amendments to the diocese, and you utttered some rubbish about being careful about how you discussed the Korris report in future.
You didn't, as the Bishop claimed to a court of law, contact me previous to releasing the report, to try and get my views and include them, there is no record whatsoever of you trying to contact me, so the Bishop lied to a court of law, and the amendments sent to you and the Diocese, which only covered half of your appalling report, were never added to the report. I only tried to read your report once and was left vomiting and in collapse and would have committed suicide if a few people who had not yet turned away had not taken me in until I felt a bit better.
Your report is not a safeguarding report and it is completely unprofessional, your supervisor and the Diocese of Winchester are guilty of serious misconduct for liasing with you in a public character assassination of a vulnerable adult, and had I been anyone other than a lifelong survivor who can write, if I had been most other vulnerable adults and indeed a large percentage of normal adult human beings, I would have committed suicide over your assisted hatchet job on my case. What you did was dangerous and thoughtless and a serious safeguarding issue, and you, as a counsellor, should have known better.

The Diocese of Winchester had no worries whatsoever about keeping your report on their website to glorify themselves, until I took them to court, and only then, was the report that they had not amended to include my views, nor arranged to interview me in order to amend, was removed.
The report was only recently removed from the Diocese of Winchester's archives, mysteriously. This latter fact was pointed out to me by someone following the case.

I am writing this as I cook the Sunday roast, so every time I stop writing and go to do something with the dinner, I think of something more to say to you.  Do you know who I am or how I live? Have you ever read my daily blog that runs back to 2011? And why did you not do anything about the publication of your report and lack of amendment when you became aware of my distress and my counterpoint to your report?
Here is my daily blog, the real HG, not the synthetic one that you and Jane Fisher created:

http://lifeafterthediocese.blogspot.co.uk/


Even the Diocese of Winchester have rubbished your report, as have the Jersey Deanery, and as for me, I am sickened by it.

The Diocese have rubbished it by not following up on your 'recommendations', you 'recomend' that the 'truncated information is investigated, well seeing as it would expose Fisher and the Scott-Joynts, and Jersey police, who you have effectively covered up for, that was not going to happen.

 And you recommend that my imprisonment and deportation are investigated, and Dame Steel, the conflicted judge appointed as a result of your farcical report, stated to Bob Hill that she was not investigating those things, and yet she contacted my former advocate who failed to represent me properly and demanded court documents, without contacting me to ask permission or even introduce herself.

Steel and her friends in the Jersey Deanery hijacked the whole matter and I remain voiceless and waiting to be wiped out by more defamation in the press. Now you started this horrendous two-year crucifiction of me, are you prepared to step in and put a stop to it? Because I hold you responsible, alongside the Diocese of Winchester, for all this harm to me.

You have taken my voice away and allowed wrongdoers to triumph.
Is that safeguarding???

Although every party in the matter now disregards the Korris rubbish, it was certainly the start of me being re-crucified by the Church of England, and why? I am crippled, branded and horrendously damaged for life. Why did it need re-doing and re-enforcing?

The Korris report is very much representation of the Church of England and their attitude to safeguarding and what they think Safeguarding is!

Would you believe that I am so traumatized that writing letters like these and proceeding to the next part of the letter are very hard for me?

As the individual who is the subject of your dreadful report, I hereby nullify it and warn you NEVER to subject a vulnerable adult to that kind of harm again. I write that in full knowledge that you wrote your report without malice or intent of harm but you were so damn misguided and without foresight that is is a matter of serious misconduct on your part.

I have never met you and you have never met me, so how did you imagine that what you wrote was anything to do with me? Jane Fisher committed serious misconduct in the Jersey matter, and although that is glimpsed at the start of your report, with her concern for scandal rather than my case and welfare, onwards from there, her behaviour is sickeningly covered up at my expense. So I cannot imagine you as a person, you are more like an extension of Jane Fisher in my mind.

Now, as a counsellor, why do you think I am writing this letter? Is it because the church brand me as an attention seeker or a troublemaker? As a counsellor you will know that writing things out is cathartic and healing. And that is why I am writing, why I have kept writing about this matter. You played a part in leaving me voiceless while re-writing my story, shockingly, and publishing it internationally, and I am simply answering, with a small and barely heard voice.

Examples of why your report was not an accurate report:

You claim in your report that the police wrote me a nice letter, basically as well as defending Jane Fisher, you appear to be covering up for the police. You omit the real story of how, on the day they let my abuser go, the police, hostile, brutal and dishonest, raided my home, tricked and trapped me, brutalized me and flung me on a police cell floor until the early hours of the morning.
The letter you mentioned never reached me, probably because if it was a real letter, the police, knowing I had temporarily fled the island due to the behaviour of my abuser and his supporters in the church and the trauma I was suffering, must have sent it to my address that I had fled, to the hostile landlady, who had tried to prevent me from leaving.

In Jersey, where non-qualified tenants are treated like animals, this woman had no qualms about going through my personal possessions and undoubtedly would have no qualms about opening my post,so if your report is correct that a letter was sent to me, it was sent to someone else and would have been to my detriment.
Only your report doesn't cover things like this, because you never interviewed me, and rather than me being traced to include me in your report, I was traced AFTER it was published, and even then, no interest was shown in including my side of things. So your report was a waste of time and money.
Although the Church thought it was a great way to glorify themselves and cover up the real story at the same time.

I am not going to include each error point by point, I will simply include links to them.

If the Church of England had bothered to use your report as a guide to further investigation, they would have been starting with an inaccurate guide, but they chose to do worse, to arrange and allow a non-independent and conflicted report and ignore or choose to remain ignorant of all conflicts of interest, basically they simply handed the matter over to the conflicted Jersey Clergy-judiciary-freemason-States clique, allowed them to write the report after the Bishop of Winchester unlawfully suspended the Dean publicly and had to re-instate him at my expense, at the same time as threatening me for begging the diocese not to keep violating me.
I don't know if you saw all that, the Dean's feeble apology to no-one, that no member of the church even forwarded to me? The one that the Diocese and Church of England kept as a trophy on their website until I objected because the Church had never even told me of the 'apology' and the Bishop had basically cleared the Dean when he reinstated him when Philip Bailhache forced him to, and the ensuing hopelessly conflicted report by Steel was a waste of the Diocese's money just as your report was, because the outcome had already been stated in the Dean being reinstated and cleared by the Bishop.
So, two years on, and I am still waiting for the Bishop to kill me with the Steel report, what do you think of that as an outcome to your messy and unprofessional Korris report? Good safeguarding?

Steel was and is a member of the conflicted Jersey Deanery Clique, alongside Philip Bailhache, Michael Birt, Ian LeMarquand and others already mentioned or not mentioned, have you noticed that the Diocese of Winchester and Church of England have never made these conflicts clear to the general public in response to these people attacking and smearing me in meetings and in the press? Good safeguarding? Would you like to remind them that as they launched this massive character assassination on me, they are also obliged to ensure that the general public know the reasons behind these people's attacks on me and support of the Dean. Or were you yourself unaware of the associations? In which case, how effective is your report?
You followed Jane Fisher's preaching about me being mentally ill and not being shunned and maligned in the Jersey Deanery, in light of the actions of the Jersey Deanery since and my psychological report, do you still believe that?

The Korris report was a waste of the Church of England's money, they presumably thought that the PR acclaim that they would get from that very loud and prominent press release of it would make it worthwhile, and there was no thought whatsoever for me as they violated me and dragged up all the trauma, leaving me suffering utter torment. So was that safeguarding?

The Church have wasted approximately a million pounds on my case, while leaving me homeless and destroyed, and have not even included me or my views in their reports, so you think that means they care about or are committed to, safeguarding? Dame Steel, having never met me, and having included interviews with people who had never met me, in her report, told Bob Hill that there was nothing wrong with me and that I was just a troublemaker. What do you make of that? Is that condusive to a good safeguarding report?
Apparently, because of course she can't use thousands of pounds on a report that is supposed to be about safeguarding and do nothing to gratify the Bishop and Church, she has come up with some sort of safeguarding concerns, but has failed to declare her serious conflicts and has failed to step down when asked to by me and when Bob Hill has described her conflicts to the Diocese of Winchester and John Gladwin and Christine Daley.
So following on from your inaccurate and unprofessional report, here is a woman seriously conflicted and working with the conflicted Jersey Deanery clique for what is simply a magnified version of the way I was destroyed when I was in Jersey, when I was slandered and vilified to absolve Bob Key and my abuser, and the way I was vilified was not only upheld by Jane Fisher but furthered by her, is that included in your report?
And now that you know the consequences of your dreadful report, don't you think it is time that you did something about them?

Here are some questions that you and other people need to ask the Bishop of Wichester:
1. Why did he have me traced and violated, illegally by the same police who his safeguarding officer had me destroyed with? Why did he do that AFTER publishing the Korris report and not in order to offer me a chance to participate?

2. Why were my amendments and views not added if it was a genuine safeguarding effort? And why was the report left up, not amended, until I took the Bishop to court?

3. Why did the Bishop not release the Steel report to a court of law if it was a genuine report? Why and how was he able to wriggle out of it, and will he do so again as I continue action against him?

4. Why did the Bishop claim that the Steel report was ready for release in November 2013, and then claim that someone had made a legal bid against the report's release? How could someone have made a legal bid when no-one knew what was in the report? This claim by the Bishop led to further slurs on me, most notably Peter Ould claiming I couldn't have made the legal bid as I was not intelligent enough - Peter Ould being the Vicar who blogged about sex until recently and illegally involved himself in my case to the detriment of the church and slandered me and jeered at me openly with the church refusing to restrain him until I kept up a sustained complaint - good safeguarding?

5. So if someone made a bid against the Steel report, and the Bishop had to amend it, then the report was not going to be accurate anyway, so then the Bishop claimed to be preparing to release it, again, in May, and Bob Hill and I both took action. Why was the Bishop trying to release this report to the wrong official in Jersey though? Again, when there is an independent investigation, outside of the Church, these things need to be queried.

6. Why does the Bishop keep claiming to have 'safeguarding and legal experts looking at the report? Why does he need these people looking at the reports if it is a fair and balanced report? Why have they been looking at this report for a year and more without contacting me to include my views and amendments? Why has the Bishop not sent me a copy of the Steel report to comment on?
Who are these legal and safeguarding experts?
If they are within the Church of England then they are conflicted, if they are not within the church then they would not have waited over a year to contact me for my views or declare the report conflicted and unbalanced and inappropriate denigration of a lone vulnerable adult. The Bishop's solicitors seemed unaware of the situation when I contacted them about this, and there is no sign of an outside safeguarding panel viewing this report, because if this happened, then due to the nature of the conflicted Steel report and due to the material about the mess the Bishop has made of my case being widely available, the Bishop would already be in a lot of trouble over the Steel report.
Presumably when Luther-Pendragon tell the Bishop to say that the Steel report is being looked at by legal and safeguarding experts, they are referring to the conflicted Jane Fisher and Elizabeth Hall, and the Bishop's chaplain, who is a trained Barrister. Thus the general public are being mislead.

7. Why did the Bishop of Winchester allow conflicted Jane Fisher to illegally refer me to the NSPCC? Especially when he had said that there would be no further unsolicited intervention in my life? And when Jane Fisher had a formal complaint against her, which the Bishop, Elizabeth Hall, Paul Butler and the Church of England have still failed to deal with? How are they committed to safeguarding when they have failed to record, investigate or resolve my complaint?

8. Why am I being made to live in fear of and trying to survive, continued press attacks while the Bishop of Winchester continues to lie about the Steel report and leave me waiting to be destroyed by it? Will any amount of safeguarding experts and legal experts make it into a genuine report when the fact that they are involved, ficticiously or for real just says the Bishop only cares about his and the Diocese's legal safety, as I remain excluded?!

9. Now that you have read my questions, ask yourself, what happens to the voiceless vulnerable when the church can be this dishonest and this cruel to someone who has a certain amount of ability to write to the church in defence? what happens to the voiceless when the Church of England control what the press get to see and when the Church can subject someone to the damage they have subjected me to, and never be called to account?

No more questions. Jan Korris, would you like to redeem the damage you have done by contacting the Church of England regarding the questions I have included in my letter to you?
Would you also like to produce a redaction of the Korris report, stating that the subject of the report, HG, has refuted the report as neither accurate nor truthful and not relevant to her case but extremely defamatory and harmful in a lasting and life-limiting way?
Please be one of the people who brings this shameful farce by the Church to an end.

Many thanks,


sincerely,

HG

https://cathyfox.wordpress.com/2015/03/30/open-letter-to-jan-korris/

Steel

Bishop Dakin,

Where is my copy of the Steel report?

You omitted sending me a copy of the Korris report before or after publishing it, which was unprofessional of you.

Where are my copies of the Steel and Gladwin reports?

There isn't much excuse for not sending them, especially as you have arranged illegal access to my records for these reports,

and are aware that the Korris report has caused much offence and distress by it's release without ensuring it is checked by those who it is about.

And seeing as you are having the Steel report 'looked at by legal and safeguarding people' how about letting it be looked at by the person you are destroying with it?

That's fair isn't it?

Why church and government investigations into abuse are not adequate

There, you have missed me seriously blogging, haven't you?
I am just going to copy what I absently scribbled on my notepad this morning.

People in Government or the Church of England who investigate abuse are usually well off, comfortable, stable and always have been, as were there parents and as are their children.

They cannot and usually don't try to, see things from the perspective of a poor, vulnerable dependent child or adult. They have not lived through it and so cannot understand it.

Imagine Lady Butler-Sloss for example. She has had a good life, she likes the Church of England, she acts for them, she told a victim that she 'didn't want to give the press a Bishop' ie, the Bishop may have abused, but his status was more important than the Victim's story being heard.

Any effective inquiry really needs at least one survivor who is healed to the point where their memories or flashbacks wont affect them partaking in investigations. Any inquiry needs someone who has been through it and understands what survivors are going through.

And, of course, for an inquiry to be independent, it needs outside members of inquiry. On a personal Note, the Korris report claims to be independent when Korris was someone who carried out Church contracts and included Lady Butler-Sloss's advice, as well as the Church of England's head of Safeguarding, Elizabeth Hall, in her inquiry, hardly independent, Lady 'Dont-give-the-press-aBishop and Jane Fisher's friend and colleague Elizabeth Hall who has refused a formal complaint against Jane Fisher, also the Korris report was comiled from selected notes and emails by Jane Fisher, who is known to write emails for 'show'  and 'evidence'.
So how was the Korris report independent? It wasn't.

John Gladwin, a retired Church of England Bishop, is not independent, nor is Heather Steel, Philip Bailhahce's colleague, Lady Butler-Sloss's colleague.

So far all church report omit my views, even though the Diocese were sent my amendments to the Korris report.

And as for government Investigations, they elected Lady Butler-Sloss, who didn't want to give the press a Bishop, and who's brother was involved in preventing full and proper inquiries into CSA.

The only proper, thorough and genuine inquiries are going to be independent and include survivors. Internal investigations, even those that claim wrongly to be independent, risk protecting wrongdoers, as the church reports into my case do.

THIS IS FROM SIMON DANCZUK'S RECENT TELEGRAPH ARTICLE, IT ILLUSTRATES JUST HOW LITTLE UNDERSTANDING AUTHORITIES HAVE OF ABUSE SURVIVORS AND THE PROBLEMS THEY HAVE:

Think of the 1,400 children abused in Rotherham. They were beaten, had guns pointed at their heads, were routinely gang raped, had petrol poured over them and were threatened with being set alight. What do you think happens to these kids?

They don’t tend to end up in nice jobs, washing their cars in the suburban sunshine on a Sunday morning. They grow up angry, resentful and lost to society. The Prime Minister talks about sending in welfare squads to tackle “problem families”, but what about the lost generation that’s being created now by allowing children to be abused on an industrial level?

I’ve sat before these people and listened to their stories. I remember every one. Some have managed to turn their lives around, and these stories are inspirational. But, for most, the burden of abuse is too heavy to bear. Kids who walk through the fire of extreme abuse make very different choices to the rest of us. They end up joining the Foreign Legion, committing violent crimes, taking drugs or sleeping on the streets. When I looked at the criminal record of one victim and asked why he couldn’t stay on the straight and narrow, he told me it was safer in prison.

For most, they struggle to make relationships and the human cost is massive. “I don’t have friends, I prefer to be on my own because I don’t trust people,” one sexually abused man told me. He’d made a living over the past 20 years working with the travelling community on the margins of society. These were the only people who didn’t judge him, he said.

But talking to bosses in children’s services and the multitude of highly paid professionals running our protective agencies, you’ll never get any real understanding of the depth or complexity of the people they’re dealing with. It’s become a cold science where the hard work of gaining trust, taking a human approach and supporting people has been replaced with a detached, long-lens view. And it’s not just management that has this view. At one point last year, I made a complaint on behalf of one of the Rochdale grooming victims as a social worker kept appearing outside her house, peering through the window. Is that the “help” a survivor of sexual abuse needs?

Independent Review of a
Safeguarding Complaint for
the Diocese of Winchester
March 2013

This Review was written by Jan Korris.
Acknowledgements
I wish to thank the following for their valuable insight and support with this Review,

Baroness Elizabeth Butler-Sloss
Suzanne Dennis BA Msc BPSCPyschol MBACP, Snr. Accredited Supervisor
Professor Chris Thompson, Chief Medical Officer and Consultant Psychiatrist Priory Group
Elizabeth Hall, National Safeguarding Advisor

and the others who have offered considerable assistance with the task.


The Diocese of Winchester recently claimed that Jan Korris tried to contact me to include me in her report.
Funny then, that when I contacted her about the report last year, she didn't mention that, but told me she would forward my amendments to the Diocese. The Diocese never included my amendments.

This is my recent email regarding the Diocese's recent claim that Jan Korris tried to contact me, there has been no response:

Dear Jan Korris,

As the diocese of Winchester continue to relentlessly injure me and remove my quality of life, I am emailing you to ask,

By what means did you attempt to contact me to include me in the Korris report before it was published?

If it was by phone, did the diocese make you aware that I suffer dysphasia and thus cannot use a phone properly, and also that the diocese's police action against me for continuing to ask for Justice and for Jane Fisher to leave me alone led to me having my phone confiscated and thus the diocese lost the only number they had for me, which incidentally left me at very high risk as a female rough sleeper without a phone.

Also, if you tried to contact me by email, which email address? I have every email sent and received, including junk ones, since 2008 and earlier, and your name and email addresses have never showed up.

I am quite sure that unless the diocese were being extremely incompetent, they would have told you that I cannot use a phone for conversation until I know someone's voice and even then it can be tricky, so if there had been a genuine attempt to contact me, it would have been by email.

Please could you forward your attempted correspondence of your effort to include me in the report before it was published.

Thank you so much.

Just to remind you, the Korris report was defamatory and incorrect and remains published internationally and has injured me and will injure me for the rest of my life, please do not ever launch such an injurious and unprofessional attack on someone you have never met again, you and the diocese do not seem to have any idea what such a horrific misleading public flogging on top of what already happened, can do to someone and I remain broken by it and still being relentlessly injured by the diocese.

Jane Fisher 13/10/2013

Dear Jane Fisher,

You have been given a copy of my blog and you know my feelings.
Your reaction will be to try and have me beaten and put away again, to silence me.
This that you have done to me and are doing and will do to me is what you also inflict on Jesus.

When you covered up at my expense, when you told me my abusers were just Christians who did things wrong, when you excused Bob Key by saying he made mistakes, when you attacked and insulted me, when you violated my private and personal life constantly, when you had me damaged beyond repair by brutality and lies and cover ups and imprisonments, this is what you did to Jesus, and yet you do as all church of england people did, and excused yourself, but Jesus has not excused you.

Despite me having a formal complaint against you since 2009, you were allowed to comission and influence a report about what happened to me and were able to almost, but not quite exonorate yourself at my expense, again forcing me to be mentally ill when I am not.

You may be able to continue to excuse yourself, but as long as you stay in your position and as long as you stay working with vulnerable people and excuse yourself at my expense, having left me ruined and living dead, you are a statement from the church of england that the church of england remains an exclusive club, of which one of the perks is abuse that will be covered up at the expense of victims by the likes of you, and that all the noise in the press about caring and sorrow for abuse is empty noise and a shameful self-glorification at the expense of abuse victims.

You have ruined me over and over, after destroying my life in Jersey you remained unpunished to go on and destroy me again in the UK, and then again since March this year through the Korris rubbish.

You may well try to have me beaten and locked up and jeered at again, but this blog is being recorded, saved and printed by various people, and your tribute, this blog, even if you force it offline, will come back, it will come back, and no matter how you are forcing my complaint about you out, I will see that complaint continued even after 20 years in prison for your crime, I will see my complaint against you continued even after my death, I will see my complaint against you continued no matter what, and as long as the church of enngland continue to employ you in 'safeguarding' after what you have done, they continue to state their utter contempt for the safety and welfare of vulnerable people.

And it amazes me that after what you have done to me, you remain there and consider yourself any kind of safeguarding, or maybe you don't, you just enjoy picking up your salary or the kick you get out of your work.
You have no conscience Jane Fisher, you are not just an unrepentant sinner who excuses herself through saying her lines on Sunday in church, you are an abuser, and you are a danger to vulnerable adults, and the lies and omissions you stated to the court in Jersey and in Sussex are wickedness, you took a human life, why do you remain in a postion to continue to harm that living dead human and other vulnerable adults?

last October, the anniversary of being destroyed

I slept well last night, and have woken feeling reasonably good.

It is indeed the anniversary of Jane fisher, safeguarding officer of the Diocese of Winchester's destroyal of me for the crime of being an abuse victim and protesting to her blatant protection of abusers.

Three years ago, my only option was suicide, and yet, despite another year of Jane Fisher harassing me after that destroyal, I survived, utterly broken and completely destroyed. Two more lots of police brutalization and detention for the punishment of standing up to Jane Fisher's violation of my life and also because I would not stop asking for justice, even though justice once I was destroyed and on the streets, became an impossibility.

It remains that the criminal record will always prevent any real quality of life, but at least I have love in my life, at least I have good in my life, and although I have these things, I will only really keep waiting for God to be kind and merciful and let me die peacefully, happily, where I am loved and feel safe, rather than letting Jane Fisher get me and detsroy my life again.
The depth and severity of the damage and the criminal record means that I will never be able to lead a productive or good life again, and the severity of the Diocese's attack on my life this year has shown that I will never be anything but damned.
But here I am, three years later, almost, but not quite, free from Jane Fisher's grip on my throat, I would not be surprised if she is the one liasing with Dame Steel to harm me, I wouldn't be surprised at all, the same Jane Fisher who rubbished my complaints about clergy in Jersey.

For me, life is about waiting to die. But while I am free from Jane Fisher's grip, I am treated with love and kindness in my community, and the instant I get spat on with contempt as I was in WInchester on my return there, I will know she has found me.

It is the anniversary of Jane Fisher's destroyal of me, the one she was able to excuse herself from in the Korris report, the one that lost me my home and life in Jersey.
Today I could return to Jersey, but what would be the point? I do not need to tell you why there would be no point, do I?

re-post Diocese and Deanery war, posted last year.

The Diocese of Winchester burst back into my life in the most traumatic way, through the police, and at Easter of all times, when I was least able to seek help and support.

Then followed a stream of traumas, awful inaccurate press articles in Jersey and a hate campaign in Jersey, led by two people who had never even met me! Gavin Ashenden and Philip Bailhache.
Gavin Ashenden is a clergyman and Philip Bailhache is or was a church officer and on the Deanery Synod.

I find it incredible that a clergyman can cast stones at someone who he doesn't even know and still wear his dog collar, let alone call himself a Christian, what kind of example is this man setting to his flock? He was not even in Jersey when I was there, yet he has heard rumours and one side of things from Phil and Heather Warren's parent-in-law who used to be in Hampshire, and are now in Guernsey and he feels that that licences him to verbally attack me in the media and write to the church times making out that I am mentally ill and thus not believable.

Firstly where in Jesus' teaching or example did Jesus ever condemn someone he didn't know? Or condone it? He said 'let He who is without sin cast the first stone'. And Ashenden and Bailhache are far from without sin.
Secondly Gavin Ashenden, whether the enquiry believe it or not, and whether the churches and clergy in Jersey believe it or not, has demonstrated just how much a visitation in Jersey is needed, though sadly Dame Steel has been allowed to prevent a visitation and enquiry and thus nothing will ever be done.

Gavin Ashenden's example of why a visitation is needed includes his attitude to mental illness, he has no understanding of it at all and has decided, especially to the church times, that people with mental illness, a significant proportion of the population, are not valid. Which would be interesting if he or one of his clique in Jersey was ever diagnosed with depression, thus becoming 'mentally ill, he would no longer be a valid human being, in his own classification, but a drivelling condemned liar, which is how he has classified me.
He furthered his warped view of Christianity at the Grouville meeting by stating that no-one on the island would want to help me.
I wonder what he actually thinks he is doing in light of the fact that he is not only supposed to be a Christian but is also supposed to be serving Jesus. I wonder what exactly a dog collar means to these Jersey clergy, or rather, I already know, it is a comfortable, powerful and very lazy way of life, one church each, not much to do, privilages that do not exist for UK mainland clergy, lots of pomp and vip treatment at festivities and  ceremonies, a small island with much power for these very self-important clergy, but as is demonstrated over and over again, very little Christianity or compassion.

Gavin Ashenden famously did a talk at the Tuesday meeting in Church house in St. Helier, the same meeting that Robb Averty and all rabid evangelicals attend, he spoke of demon posession and how he publicly drove a demon out of a 'mentally ill woman', it is not at all surprising that Gavin Ashenden was selected by the Jersey Deanery, he joins the 'cult' or 'magic' evangelical circle which is growing in Jersey, which Jane Fisher tried to tell me did not exist, which Mark Bond told me was now the only kind of clergy that the Dean would allow into Jersey, although I do not know the truth of what Mark Bond said.

So, Gavin Ashenden condemns the mentally ill and thinks that they are the lowest of the low, unwelcome and profane, there to show off about casting demons out.
But the thing is, all through this matter, I have been labelled mentally ill by Jane Fisher, and this has been facilitated through the Korris report, and it isn't true.

Jane Fisher repeatedly and forcefully tried to have me put away as mentally ill, and repeatedly failed, because I am not.
I am not mentally well either, but I am repeatedly assessed as free from serious mental illness and deeply deeply damaged by the attempts by Jane Fisher to solve me as a problem by having me put away.

I am on the autistic spectrum, with possible reactive attachment disorder, I am severely psychologically damaged and I am diagnosed as suffering severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. None of these are serious mental illness, all of them are from birth, upbringing and background; and if you were to look at Gavin Ashenden or Bob key's backgrounds, you would undoubtedly find them very comfortable and with no trauma. And definitely in the case of Philip Bailhache who went to £32,000 a year private school.
So isn't it ridiculous that these people, who wear dog collars and are ordained to God, who have never wanted for anything - and wealthy background does seem to be a requirement of Church of England priests and lay workers, are condemning me, when they have never met me, in order to protect the Dean, who has done wrong, and completely forgetting why they are supposed to be there and how they got there in the first place!

Interestingly enough, Gavin Ashenden uses mental illness against me as a crime and cites the stories of Reverend Phil Warren's parent's in law, but omits the fact that Phil Warren's mother in law, Heather Warren's mother, who damaged me so much, is seriously mentally ill herself, and as well as causing me to be admitted to hospital through her actions, she used to wish Heather dead as a child. Phil and Heather Warren and Heather Warren's parents and Gavin Ashenden are all very much part of the cult evangelical clique that covers Jersey, Guernsey where the parents in law and other members of that family worship and lead churches and also the Witchurch Deanery, where both Gavin Ashenden and Heather Warren's parents previously were.
This cult element involves things like: getting children to lay hands on adults as if to heal them, controlling people through prayers, I saw a lot of this psychologically damaging practice in the Witchurch deanery and in Jersey, and a number of other psychological 'tricks' which were taught by visiting 'big figures' in evangelical circles and also apparently by things that the Warrens brought back from the states, including the psychologically controlling words 'there are Satanists in ....... (Jersey) praying for the breakup of clergy marriage. And the constant attempt to trivilise abuse and validate people by using forgiveness and accusations of lying to excuse abuse.
Jane Fisher tried to excuse all this and condemn me, much as the clergy did, she refused to take my complaint seriously or tell me that anything would be done. And she wonders why I got angry! And then the Korris report backs her up and makes me out to be insane.

Although they are trained and ordained clergy and elected officers, the clergy and church officers in Jersey seem to know nothing of the following:

• Jesus taught 'forgive others their wrongs/percieved wrongs, or God will not forgive you - the hate campaign isn't just a lack of forgiveness, it was a full blown hate campaign with slander and libel and done in a way that I had no voice to answer them, do you think clergy should be publicly attacking someone who they consider to be mentally ill? How do you think attacking someone who is ill affects them? I can tell you that attacking someone who is traumatized the way I am has done severe severe damage, and is that appropriate for clergy?
• Jesus did not discriminate or exclude, he included tax collectors, protitutes and lepers, he included Legion, who was 'insane', and he healed legion and taught him, he did not run a hate campaign and write an inventory of legion's presumed sins and display them in public as the Jersey Deanery have done to me. The clergy in Jersey would only keep company with lepers, pharisees and other minorities in order to show off, and they would only do it at arm's length.
• Jesus said 'let he who is without sin cast the first stone - obviously Gavin Ashenden, Bruce Willings and Philip Bailhache shouldn't be on this earth, they assume that they are without sin.
• Jesus said it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven, Bob key gets is it a quarter of a million a year as well as a free house and many many free meals, Bob Key deliberately sabotaged an abuse case by being biased, and went on to call me wicked and say I wasn't abused, he had me ruined and put in prison, he was reinstated without enquiry and his clergy treat him like a hero, so the Jersey Deanery isn't much to do with Christianity is it? Bruce Willis, also a wealthy old man, who like a lot of people, especially those at the Grouville meeting, is there because of wealth and status, published blatant and libellous untruths about me in the local press, the local newspaper in Jersey is owned and run by my abuser's brother, who was also recently accused of sexual misconduct and that was quickly swept under the carpet due to his connections. And then there is Philip Bailhache, who runs the island with his brother William, together they decide who to promote or destroy, and destroy is the correct word, if anyone does anything to upset them or challenge them, people who speak out, people who rock the boat, like myself, challenging the Dean, or Stuart Syvret challenging all kinds of wrongdoing, especially to do with Haute de La Garrenne, which appears to be a sore spot with Philip Bailhache, who did not want haute de la Garenne investigated, he does not like abuse being investigated, he was opposed to Haute de la Garrenne being investigated, he was opposed to the abuse at Victoria college being dealt with, this is Senator Philip Bailhache, who was a church officer and on the Deanery Synod with my abuser. Does anyone see anything resembling Christianity in this wealth and abuse of power?

I am going to stop at this point and share with you. 

Korris report

The Korris report allowed Jane Fisher to cover up her misconduct. And the Korris report was written without any attempt to contact me and get my views or ask if I still had a complaint. And basically after destroying me for persuing my complaint, an enquiry that omits me and my views, years later and leaves me humiliated and suffering, is not acceptable..
It was written and then I was launched upon by the police and diocese, who used the Korris report as an excuse to once again violate my life.

Let me start giving you an accurate account of the things that the Korris report misses out, this first section describes Jane Fisher's interference in my life on my return to Winchester, where she had me tricked and trapped in her associate's house, and how she used my traumatized and horrified reaction to that against me in court in Sussex without telling the court what had caused my reaction. Please note it is also omitted from the Korris report that Jane Fisher brought charges against me in Sussex, the only thing I saw written in the Korris report about it before I collapsed with distress is something vague about me being arrested after being found outside th Bishop's house, Jane Fisher exonorating herself yet again. That is certainly NOT what happened.

• I described Jane Fisher and the Bishop's friend who trapped me in her house as Julia Willis, I think it was Wills, not Willis. She lived in Upper Brook Street, Winchester.
• Julia was called Juli for short and lived in upper Brook Street, tricked me indoors just before Christmas 2010 without letting me know she knew Jane Fisher and the Bishop, and said 'Jane said you would react like this' when I found out, she then tried to trap me in the house as I went to leave.
• Apparently Jane Fisher went to the Trinity Centre (homeless centre) after Christmas with things I left behind at Juli's house.
• Jane Fisher proceeded to use that visit to interfere in my relationship with the Trinity centre and my homeless friend 'Haggis' who was used to pass messages to me. My friendship with Haggis broke as I no longer trusted him.
• I fled from Juli on Christmas eve and kept phoning Jane because I was utterly shocked and in despair and my Christmas was ruined
• Jane claimed in court in Sussex that I phoned or texted her 40 times that Christmas eve, and claims I contacted her at a time when I had gone into an unlocked church after midnight mass and gone to sleep. She omitted from the court that I phoned her because of Juli. 
• Basically Jane Fisher has got away with seriously damaging me with her interference and has ruined me for my reaction.
• If you were alone, isolated and vulnerable, how would you cope with the safeguarding officer from hell intervening in your life, getting her story accross to protect the Diocese with no thought of the damage to you, repeatedly intervening behind your back until you could trust no-one and making you out to be mad for your reactions?

Here is another example of concerns surrounding the Korris report and it's omissions, as well as concerns about the Diocese, this was sent to the Diocese and the police a few months ago, and yet nothing has been done about Jane Fisher.

I am also writing to make further formal observations about Jane Fisher for my formal complaint against her.

• As follows:  Bishop Tim's threats against me appear to be because the Korris report incorrectly claimed I was under a restraining order that prevented me 'contacting church officers'
• This, as far as I know, is untrue and again appears to be Jane Fisher's doing, the court case in Sussex involved Jane Fisher and Bishop scott-Joynt bringing charges against me. No mention was made of church officers or church staff, and you need the trascripts to see both that and to be made aware of other untruths by Jane Fisher and the Bishop which were told in court.
• I have very little understanding of anything told in court but nothing was mentioned except Bishop Scott-Joynt and Jane Fisher's charges against me, no mention of anything to do with anyone else in the church was made, and the aim, from what Jane Fisher amd Bishop Scott-Joynt appeared to be doing, was again to have me put away as mad.
• The outcome is beyond my understanding but was not what Bob has told me this morning, a 'restraining order', they spoke of a 'community order' which is not the same thing, the only thing Bob was correct on was something to do with a map to do with the Bishop's house, I was given a map but no-one told me what it meant and I cannot read maps.
• The map meant that I could not go back to an area that I loved and where I used to work, the area where the Bishop had moved to, and that was very upsetting to me, I had been back there before I knew the Bishop had moved there as it was a happy memory and not something Jane Fisher had taken off me like Winchester.
• I worked near where the Bishop moved to, the Bishop's new house was on a driveway shared with the shop, and I never went on the Bishop's property or sent him letters, I went to the shop by his house, where I had been long before he lived there, when I used to work nearby.
• Jane Fisher appears to have made the case and outcome into what she wanted and what covered her back in the Korris report.
• If she did not and there was really a restraining order for two years that I should not contact church officers, then why was this not explained to me? It most certainly was not!!!!!!!!! and i do not believe it to be the case! no wonder Dakin was threatening me, BUT!
• why if there was a restraining order, did Dakin have me traced within the two years?! basically, he and the police by tracing me, were inciting me to break a 'restraining order'!
• But, there was no restraining order, the Korris report has further shockingly harmed me by again covering Jane Fisher's back and making something up, Jane Fisher did not bring charges on behalf of the church, the Diocese or Wolvsley, she liased with the Scott-Joynts and brought charges against me for herself when I was in custody for Bishop scott-Joynt!!!!!!!!!!! And in court she said that she 'wanted to go on helping me', can you imagine that after years and years of me screaming at Scott-Joynt to withdraw her! and that she has got me a record I will not recover from!  Can you imagine that, she was bringing charges against me, presumably having me put under a restraining order and then 'wanting to help me!' I left court feeling that her 'wanting to help me' was her continuing to force herself on me, especially behind my back,  and have me charged every time I objected!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I went on the run and changed my name!
• And I did face further intrusions either because of my record or because of further attempts by Jane Fisher.
• This has been one-sided for too long.
• I suppose the reason they launched this report this year is because Jane Fisher thought the community order or whatever else would be expired and not relevant, and she would not be investigated, I do want her investigated, and I will never ever recover from what she has done, that criminal record means I will never work or be part of society again, nor will I ever ever come to terms with it. The reason I want to die is the police brutality and records.
• I did not go to the Scott-Joynt's house, ever, I did not go on their property unless they own the shop driveway and I have been going to that shop since I was in my early 20's, when the Scott-Joynts were still described by Juliet as the 'Snobs at Wolvsley'.
• I did not send anything to the Scott-Joynts, i was reliving my time of working in West Sussex, when I was happy and useful and strong
• The closest i got to the Scott-Joynts was being tempted to water a planter on their side of the driveway with my water bottle as the plant was parched, and phoning them as Bishop scott-Joynt had walked away leaving me destitute and destroyed, especially by the Jersey matter and police brutality and detention on 14/02/11, from which I will never recover.
• Any human being, autistic or not, would be outraged that someone responsible could walk away from a mess like that, and he was walking away from my complaint against Jane Fisher, leaving her to continue to harm me and other vulnerable adults, which is not acceptable, the police told me it was Jane fisher who had had me detained on 14/02/11 on behalf of the Bishop, and in Jersey it was also Jane Fisher on behalf of the Bishop.
• Why is jane Fisher still working with vulnerable adults?
• why was this slanderous and inaccurate Korris report published and since the innacuracies are showing up and damaging me, why is it not withdrawn? The Diocese of Winchester are showing through leaving the Korris report online, that they are not just not commited to safeguarding vulnerable adults but they do not care about the further damage they are inflicting on a vulnerable adult.
• This is also the case regarding Bob key's vague and directionless apology, why has that been put online for show? I was never made aware of that apology. The Diocese did not make me aware of it, and they did not warn me they were reinstating the Dean, they had previously said they would not reinstate him without investigation, and then they did.
• Jane Fisher and the Diocese have used me as a pawn to put these awful things online for public view with no thought to my feelings at all and have damaged me terribly, so, why is Jane fisher still working with vulnerable adults and why am I being made to suffer and when are the Diocese and church going to remove these things?!

Further points on Jane Fisher:

• why, after I screamed for her to be withdrawn after her bullying of me and refusal to deal with my complaint, was she allowed to contact the prison and continue to rape my life and force on me there? when I asked to see the methodist or catholic chaplain, I was made to see the frothy airhead church of england chaplain and it was not confidential as jane Fisher was behind it, would any of you like to be in prison and have something you did not want forced on you by one of the people who had put you in prison?! and don't be fooled by the way jane Fisher has excused herself for putting me in prison, she is as responsible as Bob Key and Michael Scott-Joynt, she had me arrested after not dealing with my complaints or my abusers and after bullying me until I hated her and screamed for her to be withdrawn.
• This is important and appears to have been omitted: The Korris report claims that I was refusing help and diagnosis, which was never the case and is verifiable. This 'refusal of help and diagnosis' is Jane Fisher's excuse for interfering and calling meetings behind my back and against my human rights of privacy and dignity. 
• In my last months in Jersey I was under my doctor's care, on anti-depressants and awaiting a psychology appointment with the new specialist psychologist who specialized in autism. I had previously asked jane Fisher, when I was on speaking terms, to help me with hospital and specialist treatment forms when she went on about helping me, but she laughed as if it was a joke and so I ended up in prison rather than receiving the care and therapy I was trying to apply for. As for the social worker, I was finding it hard to find times to meet her outside of work and other commitments, was not able to meet her after I lost my car when I went on the run from jane Fisher and Tracy's attempt to section me, I also have the right and choice as an adult to end relationships and in the case of the social worker I was not benefitting and was afraid of another sectioning attempt, so I did as I have a right to do, and ended the relationship, It was none of jane fisher's business, nor should she have had any leeway to find out about my social care or therapeutic relationships without my leave, and seeing as she had scorned my request for help with hospital and therapy forms as if it was a joke, then she should not have been intruding in the way that SHE chose, behind my back and intrusively.
• The intrusions by Jane Fisher, both in Jersey and Winchester are illegal, a form of harrassment and very damaging to a private person with autism. She did not and could not do these intrusions under the mental capacity act as she was not qualified to judge my mental capacity, she was basically doing what she wanted, unsupervised, unqualified, and has managed to cover up for herself very very well by influencing the Korris report, which is left online despite the known inaccuracies, and continues to harm me.
• The police authority need to ask why I was traced by the diocese through the police when I was under this 'restraining order' if it exists, and why the police where deliberately inciting a crime? why would the police who refused my pleas for protection from Jane Fisher and the Diocese an treated me as if I was mad and went ahead and brutalized and destroyed me allowed to come after me and violate my privacy for the Diocese and drag me back into this sorry mess, only to have me threatened because Bishop Dakin wrongly believes that there is a restraining order, if there is, I was not told of it, and if there isn't, that is because Jane Fisher has lied to the Korris report and to Bishop Dakin and others, and this needs to be looked into before Jane Fisher works with any other vulnerable adult!

This email is to be taken into account in my complaint against jane Fisher, and diocese and police are to be aware of it, also to be aware of the depth of scarring that the criminal record, engineered from Jersey to Winchester and Sussex by Jane Fisher will never ever heal, I will never live indoors, be part of society or work or feel safe again, because Jane Fisher of the Winchester Diocese destroyed me for her own reasons and unsupervised and un-withdrawn by Bishop Scott-Joynt despite me begging him to withdraw her.

She is not suitable to work with vulnerable adults because not only is she a loose canon with no empathy or understanding of her actions, but she has been dishonest repeatedly throughout this five years and can be very nasty and excused her nastiness too late by claiming, despite her position and experience with autism, not to understand autism.

Basically I am ruined, and the Diocese dragging me into this again in March and dragging me through every kind of condemnation and humiliation as a pawn has been horrific for me, it will take another five years from when I bow out in three weeks time, for me to begin to feel better, I have been a pawn in a game, I have been used so the Diocese could show off online a very damaging and inaccurate report called the Korris Report, and also a very empty apology for the Dean, to make it look like the Diocese cared about safeguarding when in reality, what they have done to me through this past five months has proved just the opposite, but the thing is, as before, I have no voice, I am not heard, I am drowned out in the Bishop's threats and the attacks from Jersey, I am scapegoated and always will be, and if you look at that situation, do you wonder that I want to die? I have been dragged into this and had to listen to 40 pages of rubbish shouted at me from Korris, with no input of my own, I have been threatened with a court order that as far as I know does not exist, I have been dragged in and threatened even though I was dragged in and hurt by the lies in the Korris report and my reaction is greeted by threats, does anyone think safeguarding has improved in anything other than the shiny press image that the church of england are creating?

I don't, nor do the Chichester victims.

I am furious at the extent to which Jane Fisher has got away with this, including herself not being investigated in the Korris report and her cover ups.

Bishop Dakin will not be proving anything good if he does not take action about Jane Fisher, and if he does not, he will be deliberately leaving vulnerable people at risk, but what do I matter? In three weeks I go back to living in fear of the police and suffering trauma alone, no resolution and the wounds not just opened by the Diocese's actions over the past five months but gouged deeper and more jagged.

The Diocese dragged me back in, through the police and have hurt and damaged me through their Korris report, had the Dean cleared and have done nothing for me, and as long as I have a criminal record, there is nothing they or anyone else can ever do for me.

sincerely,

Last year's onslaught

I am diagnosed as suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, with some of the elements of this condition being very high above the clinical cut-off point on the scale, this makes it quite serious.

I have said about this that despite these serious measurements, I am in much better shape than I was 18 months to a year ago.

The depth and severity of damage to me by Jane Fisher and the former Bishop was so severe that basically it is only a miracle that I didn't commit suicide.

But the events of the past six months have sent my stress levels sky high, especially recently, and despite the best efforts of my church, support team and therapy, I am in a state of severe tension, distress and depression.

I will list some of the traumas but the list is exhaustive:

• Being traced by the police, basically this should not have happened and is inexcusable and was done to no beneficial purpose as the Diocese showed no interest in talking to me, explaining why they had set up on me through the police, or what they wanted, they subsequently never explained the enquiry.
• The fake apologies in the paper by the Bishop and Archbishop, which were never backed up by genuine personal apologies. It appears that for all their power and status, the church of england do not know what a proper apology actually is.
• The way the Archbishop blanked and blocked communication and ignored me, while he had all the time in the world for wrongdoers in Jersey who approached him.
• The way the Bishop threatened me with court orders, what court order? one that one of his employees got me for responding to her harm of me? I had no knowledge of this order, if it exists, what I do know is that I was threatened by a man who had me illegally traced by police only to blank me and threaten me, which instantly made it quite clear that the whole matter was a farce. I have not come to terms with this man, Tim Dakin, tracing and threatening me. It is a deep deep trauma.
• In the meantime I was being told by everyone else what the Dean of Jersey and his clergy had already told me previously, that the Bishop had no authority in Jersey, no authority to discipline the Dean and thus the Dean would be reinstated. The Bishop's office denied this and said that the Dean would not be reinstated without an enquiry. And what an utter nonsense that turned out to be, further harming me!
• So far I was very shocked and damage and didn't hear a word of kindness or helpfulness from the Bishop's office, it was all vague waffle, a nonsense.
• Anyway, the hate campaign against me by clergy and church leaders in Jersey kicked off in style when the Dean was suspended, supposedly just in defence of the Dean, ignoring the fact that he had done wrong, albeit years ago. I suffered and have never recovered from that hate campaign, it haunts my nightmares and has left me further traumatized and affected what little self-esteem I had, it has left me with an empty hopeless hole inside me that makes any attempt by me to put my side of things across hopeless.
• Meantime I was made aware of the 'Korris Report' by the bloggers, a report written by some lay counsellor called Jan Korris, and titled as if it was written by someone, rather than some obscure lay counsellor with few qualifications. The Korris report was an awful inaccurate, defamatory and damaging report, apparently commissioned by Jane Fisher, who grandly titled herself as 'Winchester Diocesan Safeguarding Panel', a panel that does not apparently exist, if there was a panel rather than Jane Fisher on her own, damaging vulnerable people and covering the church's back, then how come Jane Fisher alone damaged me and didn't refer to her 'panel' and was able to have the Korris report done in a way that covered up her wrongdoing and further damaged me and misled everyone.

This list will be continued tomorrow. I am stopping here because of the trauma and distress that even writing this causes me, I am in serious difficulties.

Written last year, still in the same anguish as now

Written Last Year 2013:

In march this year, my world was shattered.
The Church of England had me traced by the police.

The Same Church of England who destroyed me through the police.

The Diocese of Winchester, in who's care I had been abused, belittled, downtrodden and ruined, the Diocese who gave me a criminal record, and yet who are there and in their well-paid positions because they claim to be Christians.

There is nothing Christian in the damage done to me in and by the Diocese of Winchester, from beginning to end.

And especially, there is nothing Christian in what they have made me suffer since March.

Here is a description of the impact of the Diocese's unethical and wrong tracing of me, done with no explanation to me, and done because they were under pressure from people who read the inaccurate Korris report, which omitted my views and covers the back of the real wrongdoer, safeguarding officer Jane Fisher.

How can a report have been comissioned and influenced by one of the people I had a complaint against? How can that person's wrongdoing be omitted to the extent of cover up, and that person be protected rather than  being suspended and being made to apologize?
Why has Jane Fisher been able to be so dishonest and protect her own back? She who still works with vulnerable people after destroying me?

Below is the statement I wrote for the diocese in anger and distress after their invasion of my life  this year, I have edited this slightly and it was written months ago and so is about how things were then:

It was in March 2013 that things went wrong. I didn’t consciously know that anything had happened at first, but subconsciously maybe I did, but at the time I attributed the increasingly strong nightmares about Jane Fisher, Bob Key, Jersey and the police to the fact I was trying to learn to live indoors. My sleep went down to a few hours a night and I was in such emotional distress during the days that it was difficult to function normally.

Even though for some odd reason, I was getting emails from people in Jersey and people from the past I didn’t think, even when an email said ‘have you heard the news’, these people were from my distressing past and as far as I was concerned they had no news for me. So I left their emails unopened as I was under enough stress from trying to teach myself to be a house dweller again, and I felt deeply vulnerable as a registered house dweller even under my new identity I was in fear of Jane Fisher and the police - this fear very logically being caused by Jane Fisher and the Bishop repeatedly coming after me with the police when I responded to their negative interventions in my life.

Within a few weeks I had realised that I could not live indoors. I could only afford cheap lodgings which I paid for from my welfare benefits as I knew that the struggle to explain myself to Housing Benefit would be too much and I was always in danger of abandoning the tenancy or being traced by the diocese anyway, especially as I could not get the right support to help me to learn to be a house dweller. I also could not really afford to pay my own rent, low as it was.
My main barrier to housedwelling is the flashbacks, distress, terrors, bad memories and despair because of Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt and the Dean of Jersey and their police interventions against me in response to my protests at their refusal to deal with my complaint and their bad handling (to put it mildly) of my complaint.

The cheap lodgings was in a lodging house and I was the only female there, still suffering PTSD and quite frightened by some of the behaviour of the men in the house and feeling a bit intimidated. So I was longing to return to the streets, especially as the memories and distresses of Jersey were coming back to me too strongly, and at the time I thought it was simply from being indoors, and maybe it was. 

Before I left the house I managed to get very ill, the hygiene in the house was bad and a drug addict who had been very ill for months had just moved out and the guy who took the vacant room became just as sick and was taken to hospital, and then I got sick too.
I moved out while I was ill and back homeless I went through one of the worst bouts of illness that I ever remember. Whooping cough and pneumonia.

I was afraid to see a doctor because I have been treated really badly in the years since Jersey because Jane Fisher and the former Bishop really wanted me to be insane and locked up and I was also not willing to see a doctor in case I was traced. Even though all attempts to certify me insane failed because sadly I am not. PTSD and autism are not madness and cannot be treated as such.

In the end I went to a hospital and they said I was ok, recovering, I had been so very ill and it was a relief to know they thought I was ok. They would have admitted me if I had gone when I was really ill, and I could not allow that, I could not be captive somewhere and have the police turn up, I remain living in fear in that way.

I still didn’t know what had happened with the diocese but I had returned to sleeping rough and it felt amazing! Yeah! Lying there looking at the stars as I fell asleep I was at peace. 
The time between evening and morning is when I am happiest, the diocese of Winchester destroyed me but they gave me the gift of a sky full of stars and so few people get to enjoy such a gift any more, so I really appreciate it.
I love the evenings when I walk quietly alone with my headphones in and my music on, I love to lie down in my blankets and gaze at the sky and I love to get up in the quiet early morning and walk the quiet roads and stop and gaze, this is heaven to me and I am now in fear that that diocese intend to rip this from me.

Anyway, then I got an email from the policeman who had traced me and I was deeply shocked. I only read the first lines and couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
Firstly my new identity was shattered and I was once again open and vulnerable to police and diocese cruelty and attacks and slander.

All I read of the police email was that they had traced me and this policeman called me ‘Ms’ and my new name in capitals as if he was jeering. And then that ‘the diocese wished to support me through local church groups’ and something about the historic abuse case in Jersey. What historic abuse case? I was furious, why, after the way Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt repeatedly drove me from help by slandering me and ommitting either that I was disabled or that I had been abused, were they talking about local church groups???

Firstly there are no local church groups that help abuse victims, none, churches shun abuse victims and safeguard against them, secondly I am not in that area or diocese, thirdly I have no intention of belonging anywhere where Jane Fisher and the diocese of Winchester can humiliate me or involve themselves with their side of things as Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt did before. Basically after what has happened, this being traced and violated and humiliated for the sake of fictional help was ludicrous! If the diocese had anything to say to me which was in MY interests and not just them covering their backs, they would have emailed me themselves as they have my email addresses and were more than capable of doing this without deliberately degrading me with further police action that I had not merited.

I was in shock when I got this email and it was Maundy Thursday and there was nowhere to go for help.
I walked up to one of the churches and there was a church man there, he recognized me and happily started telling me about bedding plants for the church garden and then realized I was crying and shaking. He phoned his wife and got the number of a church person who I talk to and she came to the church and held my hand. I did not understand why the diocese had set the police on me and shattered my privacy and left me open to the horrific continuation of the cycle of being violated by Jane Fisher and Scott-Joynt and then being attacked by the police for answering and asking for justice and restoration, all I knew was that the police had come after me for the diocese.
So the church lady held my hand and comforted me and she said no-one in her church had betrayed me to the diocese and the police as far as she knew, because I have the horror that someone has indeed betrayed me and left me damaged by this, because the police got my details somewhere and somewhere I will be shamed and embarrassed when I go to see old friends. And also I was repeatedly betrayed by churches because of behind-my-back-intervention by the Diocese of Winchester before I escaped from them two years ago.

Anyway, then the minister arrived and was told I had had a shock and he came and sat with me and talked gently. Then I helped him to prepare for the Holy Communion Service, and that took my mind off things.
I still had no knowledge of the full situation, and in truth I still don’t.

Easter was hell because of being traced by the police, there was nowhere to go and no-one to turn to, which is the usual in the Christmas and Easter holidays but worse because of the police. The Easter Sunday service was lovely but because of the fact I was no longer hidden and safe from Jane Fisher and the police after two years, I felt unsafe in church and I remembered Vicar Tim at Romsey Abbey coming and shouting at me and saying he had been speaking to Jane Fisher about me, and all the cold accusatory one-sided things he repeated from Jane Fisher before I ran off crying in the night and went to a police station but was too scared of being beaten and locked up to tell them to make Jane Fisher go away. I did not want the old priest at this church to do the same accusatory shouting and telling me how bad I was.
Because, after a very very long time of deep fear and wariness, I have learned to love again, and I love my church/es, because they have showed me that church and Christianity is not the way the Diocese of Winchester and the Deanery of Jersey portray it in abuse and arroagance and boastfulness and wealth and  treading on the poor and disabled and isolated and I have just started to believe my churches, and to see with Joy that Christianity is real.

When the holidays thankfully finished, I was in the library and still being badgered by emails about Jersey and the Diocese so when I was signing into my emails I looked at the news stories and found the story.
Something about Jersey and the Archbishop and Bishop apologizing and the Dean being suspended.
Again I stumbled outside crying.
I am as raw as if I have no skin and I cannot cope with much stress at all.

I went back up to the church and thankfully my friend from last time was actually there, she came to sit with me and held my hand again as I blurted out something about the news saying the Bishop apologized, my friend said I should be turning cartwheels and wasn’t I happy?
No, I was traumatized by all of it, all of it in the papers and all of the past being dragged up and the police, I didn’t know anything about this report that I was being badgered about by email. I felt vulnerable and frightened because I was traced by the police, I felt shocked and depressed, because despite the flashbacks and the unhealed wounds, I had tried to leave this in the past as Jane Fisher was always coldly telling me to leave what had happened to me in the past because my pain was of no relevance and I was not valid.
Jane Fisher never actually explained what she was trying to force me to leave in the past, but Jane Fisher rarely saw fit to explain anything, her aim was only to force me and the situation to be what she wanted. So me, and my pain, were invalidated by her aims and needs.

So no, no cartwheels, just shock, there is nothing that will make me hopeful or joyful any more, the pain has been too deep for too long, I like my walks in the dark and in the early morning and I like lying on the ground and watching the stars as I fall asleep but I do not feel joy at the church of england suddenly, too late, forcing upon me something that is to do with their politics rather than my welfare and doing it very publicly and having me intimidated and distressed by the police for their own ends at the same time.

So, I was in crisis and still trying to shake off the illness that tends to come back just when I think it has gone.  I had to ask those offering me pastoral care to stop as it was upsetting me too much, these were church people, and until I had an assurance from the diocese of Winchester that they are going to leave me alone, I did not feel safe or able to let anyone help me (in reality I am still living in fear), and while I am in fear of a police attack I feel almost unable to even see the psychologist, after all, if you are going to be beaten and locked in then there is no point in paying for psychology because it cannot undo that.

I continued to try and maintain the rest of my routine while no longer attending church or having help. It is hard to keep a routine when you are depressed and homeless but thankfully what I was taught by MIND about keeping myself going during crisis is helping a lot.
(MIND is a source of help I refer myself to when I need them, they have helped me since I referred myself when I was a young adult before my Asperger Syndrome or autism was officially recognized). 

Anyway, I continued to hear about Jersey, bit by bit, and continued to fight the distress and memories brought back to me.
I was told by email that the Dean will simply be reinstated because all the Bishop has done is cause a constitutional crisis in Jersey, and I myself was surprised that the Bishop even suspended the Dean, because I was told by the Dean himself and some of his clergy in Jersey while I was there that the Bishop could do nothing to him and nothing to them so they could effectively do as they pleased and I would not be listened to.

What horrified me was the complete lack of response from the Archbishop or Wolvsley when I frantically tried to contact them, which cemented the fact that this whole farce was in fact nothing to do with me but to do with something political that I did not know about, this didn’t surprise me as the church of England are unmotivated and unmoved by abuse victims and their ‘safeguarding’ policy simply ensures that disabled people and vulnerable people are excluded, isolated, shunned and unable to make friends, because no-one is allowed to be alone with them or take them home or take them out, the church of England treats us as profane, as lesser beings, by keeping this policy behind the backs of vulnerable people. 

And so why would they be apologizing to me, especially as they launched a police attack at the same time! But Wolvsley have nothing to say, neither does the Archbishop.
I have made a complaint about being traced but that complaint is about the policeman, the diocese of Winchester remain untouchable and a constant threat to me and I despair because it seems that I would have to seek asylum abroad to escape them, and I am tired, I do not want to go unless I have to, but the dread silence and the danger of police attacks and the confusion remains.

Jersey is obviously the same, the internet is full of articles and blogs, and in true Jersey style some of the information is very vicious, some in support of the Dean and some not, some blatantly attacking him and some blatantly attacking me.
The thing is, the Diocese of Winchester may be under some illusion that my identity and the identities of other parties is concealed, but believe me, those few Jerseypeople who did not already know about this, do now and most people do know all the names of those involved, especially since a very blatant breach of confidences occurred.

There are some very good Jersey blogs, which are providing real information on what has been happening, countering that awful Korris report and the very very nasty slander against me by clergy and supporters in the Jersey Deanery, these blogs include Bob Hill’s Jersey Blog, Rico Sorda’s blog, Voiceforchildren’s blog, Tony’s musings, Stuart Syvret’s blog and more.

But there are snippets of this awful ‘independent safeguarding report‘ the Korris Report, the one that was done without my input and lets the whole world know how successfully the Dean and the Bishop and Jane Fisher punished me for speaking up and had me thrown in prison and ‘deported’ and left homeless in the UK with Jane Fisher still hanging onto my jugular until she pulled me down to the point of no hope, no healing, nothing left etc. Or does it omit that? I had a breakdown from trying to read the Korris Report, it is so awful and so inaccurate and cover’s Jane Fisher’s wrongdoing so well that it caused me to collapse. I have never finished reading it and it is so very damaging and wrong that I do not know why it was allowed to be published. I have expressed this opinion to Jan Korris but she is not bothered, as long as she gets her comission she isn’t too worried that she has had internationally published a gravely damaging report about an already suffering abuse survivor. Hopefully the collective complaints about it means she wont do it again, but I doubt that she cares.


Anyway, everyone has an opinion and in Jersey they fight about it like little boys, because Jersey is a small place and has that mentality, everyone knows someone and everyone has a bias, it makes it a bad place to live if you report someone for abuse and they have connections. The thing with the diocese is that they are not there and do not know who is who, who has what bias and why, but Jersey is another country and another country that used to be occupied by the Germans and has never lost that mentality. And at the moment they are not too pleased with England invading against one of their politicians, which is what the Dean is first and foremost, he certainly isn’t a Christian.

But anyway, I gather that Wolvsley tried to do a Jane Fisher and tell me that this isn’t affecting me! Are you crazy? You rake up the past and humiliate me publicly, even if only in Jersey and in your online report and you set the police after me and you think I am not affected?! I am not strong enough for much stress and believe me some of the opinions of people known and unknown in Jersey right now do affect me! They make me want to curl up and die.

This is my situation right now. The diocese refuse to confirm to me that as far as I am concerned the matter is closed. So I am in limbo, I am living in fear with my life paused, I am afraid of police attacks, I am distressed by what has happened and how I am publicly flogged, I am terrified that my quiet walks with my music and my sleeps in my cheerful blanket will be taken off me and I will be locked in for incomprehensible reasons and my freedom and life will be gone and ‘help’ will be forced on me.

Life is in limbo, there is a so-called investigation, but the Bishop reinstated the Dean and said he had acted in good faith, now the Bishop hides behind a PR company and refuses to communicate, while half the so-called investigation he has instigated is a conflict of interests, but he refuses to withdraw it or comment.

Blogs, cover ups and what a mess

I am not writing much at the moment, I am too tired.

I am interested to see that a number of people are viewing the old post about Peter Ould.
I don't know why.
It isn't very interesting.

I am thinking vaguely about the completely useless mess the Diocese caused by launching on the Deanery of Jersey.
Korris report - inaccurate and never amended, now swiftly removed by the diocese to cover their own backs.
Steel report - the Jersey Deanery's hijack of the diocese of winchester's criminally stupid public campaign against the deanery of Jersey.
Gladwin report - he has gone on an excursion to see if people are allowed to be gay there yet, he will get back to us on that.
Jersey safeguarding report - If we are to judge by Jane Fisher, safeguarding means attacking vulnerable abuse victims and destroying them, expect the same from a conflicted safeguarding panel that contains the same police officer that the Bishop 'appointed' to liase with Dame Steel and illegally access my records for both reports.

So, as yet, no impartial report that includes me, just a load of cover ups for everyone else involved, at my expense.

What the Bishop didn't take into account when he launched on the Jersey Deanery part 1 of 1000

If an outsider from the UK launches a public attack on islanders, what is going to happen? If a Bishop from the UK church attacks islanders what happens?
Bishop Peter Broadbent just recently recreated this situation by attacking Jersey, what happened? You got an islander from one of the cult churches saying he had no right to say anything,
and the reality was, he was being a bit general and a bit irrational in his attack, just as Bishop Dakin was being very irrational and very general by publicly and in the national press, attacking the whole of the Jersey Deanery.

Here is Bishop Peter's outrageous launch on Jersey, although I doubt he mean it to be publicized

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-27616938

While Bishop Dakin's attack on the Dean and Deanery led to me being slandered and smeared and voiceless to defend myself as the story went international and the smear and cover up campaign was successful in villifying me.
I was devastated, why did the Bishop have no concern for my welfare and safety when he publicly launched on me. And why did he not stop the villification of me, but instead allowed the investigation to be taken over by someone conflicted because they were linked to the people smearing me and protecting the Dean?

I wonder what part of the whole charade of 16 months or so, Bishop Dakin considers to be about safeguarding?
Firstly, he produced the Korris report without my views and published it, how can you produce a safeguarding report about an abuse claimant and not include their side of things?
Secondly, he was sent my amendments directly by me, and also from Jan Korris when I emailed her,
and he did not amend the Korris report or arrange to meet me to add my views.

He more recently, after more than a year of being asked, withdrew the Korris report from the Diocesan website, and not because of my requests, but to protect himself.
Unfortunately by the time he withdrew it, less than a month ago - proven - it was and is so widely circulated that him withdrawing it from the Diocesan site makes little difference, I can access the Korris report via various routes in an instant.

Bishop Dakin has never attempted to meet me to discuss what happened to me, it appears that because he has never got my side of things or met me, the silly man thinks I am dangerous, and well, I am dangerous in that I am not going to let him get away with harming me, but as for agressive or violent, if you suggested to anyone here at the drop in today that I am aggressive and violent, they would look at you in astonishment! I am very quiet and I only act with anger if I am being abused and treated horrendously as I have been by the Diocese.
So he hasn't got my side because from the start, influenced by the inaccurate Korris report which was influenced by Jane Fisher, he made it clear he condemns me as bad, and so, he launched and ran an investigation without my side and assuming I am bad and thus will not be included. What a silly silly man, what a dreadful damaging and Unchristian way to behave.

So, after excluding me completely from the Korris report, and refusing to amend it, he proceeds to ignore island politics and cliques, who is related to who and who is friends with who, and accepts an offer from Dame Steel to investigate the matter further.

Dame Steel, a friend and colleague of Philip Bailhache and who was known to give a speech for him at a gathering of his, is allowed to proceed to investigate, despite the fact that Philip Bailhache abused his power to run a smear campaign against me, publicly harming me, which the Bishop did nothing about.
The Bishop ignored protests that Dame Steel was conflicted.

Dame Steel didn't introduce herself to me, explain anything or contact Bob Hill, who was acting on my behalf, instead she attempted to access my lawyer's records from when the lawyer had misrepresented me,
and unexplainably, as, despite Jan Korris's recommendations, neither Dame Steel, nor anyone else was looking into my arrest and deportation.
In fact the whole matter from Korris onwards seems to have been about covering up, for Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt, for the Dean, the police, everyone.

Not at any point has my full story been taken and included in a report, which is why I am producing it here on the blog, which is unfair on me because the trauma is such that being forced to produce my story to combat the smears and untruths and inaccurate reports is a tremendous strain on me, because I have to relive what happened to me, knowing that the church of england still are not listening, nor have they ever taken into account the connections between people involved in the Jersey and Diocese matter.