A good link to a good article on a good site

Pandora's Aquarium is a good helpful site, and another user of the site posted this on twitter. It does explain why people stay when they are being abused, it does help to explain why I stayed when the churchwarden was abusing me. Philip Bailhache has no understanding of vulnerability and abuse, he went to one of the most expensive private schools and has never been vulnerable or needy.

http://www.pandys.org/articles/continuingrelationshipswithabusivefamily.html

A reminder

This article, the part with the mad 'driving out of demons and wailing' reminds me so much of Jersey's cult churches. My experience of what they tried to turn my autism into and how they tried to excuse their own wrongs with mind games, and messed with my mind, is strongly brought back to me by this.
And it is a powerful reminder of the Church of England's terrible prejudice:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/vicky-beeching-star-of-the-christian-rock-scene-im-gay-god-loves-me-just-the-way-i-am-9667566.html

letter to Paul Butler

Dear Very Reverend Paul Butler,

As I continue to be destroyed by the church and wait for that final destroyal that I will not withstand, I am incredulous to hear the church of England spouting off and continuing to self-glorify with deceit and propaganda in the press.

Of course the church of England are not going to suddenly provide 2 million for abuse victims when they owe victims billions in compensation that they will never pay, of course the church don't care about abuse victims, they destroyed me, left me homeless and branded with a criminal record and continued to employ my abusers while I am left waiting for conflicted and whitewashed reports to snap and snuff out my failing and destroyed life. Why do the church of England keep self-glorifying in the press in a way that leaves the silenced victims furious? Will I see any of that 2 million for my coffin and funeral as the church of England snuff out my fading life with the next public flogging? No, because no victim will ever see that money.

I gather that the church interfered to stop a government inquiry into church abuse a year ago, and tried to take the limelight off the church, that would explain the self-glorifying at my expense and at the expense of other victims at the Synod and in the press last year.

The church of England is a very sick organization, and before long my blood will be on your hands along with the blood of any other silenced victims driven to their death for being vulnerable and abused and silenced by the church.

Please stop the press propaganda in support of the church, it is Unholy, it is an insult to Jesus, you spit on God every time you speak to make the church look good as you kill me.

I spent three years homeless, having lost my life, work, posessions, home, friends, charity work, college, boat, sports, my whole life, as you continued to employ two sexual predators, both with previous allegations against them and one who was allowed to take me home when he was under a chaperoning order, which was ignored, not told to me, and when I started to raise concerns, I was blanked out and he, hearing of the concerns, was able to take over the situation.

Last year you illegally had me traced by the same police you had me beaten and detained by for the crime of being an abuse victim, from which I will never recover, you splashed a story all over the press, glorifying the church, you had me threatened and illegally forcefully referred to the NSPCC, another paedophile harbouring charity, for 'help' while you continued to harm me in my failing health with untrue press reports, you had utterly broken my back at the time with a horrendous unprofessional and unclear and inaccurate report, which was replaced by a conflicted inquiry run by my abusers' supporters.

So here I am, falling into the darkness as I wait to be further publicly destroyed, and your Church of England continues to spout about abuse victims in the press.

It is intolerable. And no matter how you self-glorify and smear me further when I do die as a result of this harassment by the church, my blood will be on your hands, it already is. You have publicly crucified me, and I remain voiceless.

sincerely,