This is Bob's latest blog
http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/jerseys-dean-canterbury-agreement.html
I am offline for a while this weekend. Nothing to freak about.
I remember Jane Fisher illegally reporting me missing when I wasn't and she hadn't tried to contact me to find out. So I get almost anxious about not being online every day in case of a repeat of that.
Saturday, 29 March 2014
Friday, 28 March 2014
Sailing 1
Although my initial interest in sailing came from sailing with the
churchwarden, which was only a few sailing sessions, and he was usually
sexually intrusive during those trips, I quickly progressed, while still
living with him, to sailing elsewhere.
I joined a sailing group, and for a long time I didn't know they met every week but thought that meetings and sailings were only as advertised, so I missed out a bit.
But I had my first real Big Boat sail with them, to Guernsey and overnight there.
Andeventually, when I knew sailing was available every week, I got enthusiastic, dinghy and big boat sailing, and lovely people who took away some of the pain of the churchwarden situation.
I was sometimes simply too tense to be on a dinghy with others, so sometimes I would go on the guard boat, which was great fun, a little RIB, high speeds and sharp moves of course! :)
Then there were trips to France and chausey on the yacht, I always knew with all my heart that I was very lucky to be able to share in these trips, and now that the distress has cleared a bit, I can treasure those times.
Dinghy qualifications:
I was delighted to be able to do the States-run dinghy training courses.
I was more nervous of the other people on the course so every evening I was wracked with nerves.
The courses were run a week at a time, every evening and at the weekend for extra practice, and though some of the others would go in the club for a drink afterwards, I had no interest in that.
It was a question of going down to St. Aubin's harbour and either walking if the tide was out or waiting for the RIB if it wasn't, for the course every day.
I did level 1 and 2, which were offered at St. Aubins, and would have done level 3 with the qualified instructor who I used to borrrow a boat from for my solo practice.
One of the complications of my course was that the churchwarden had a boat at St. Aubins, the boat I used to sail with him, and he and his wife and JM accused me of stalking him because I was down there, which was very much JM false accusation style and very upsetting, and I told JM that there was ample proof as to why I was there, but she wouldn't reply. It is funny how many times she refused to read my side of things once she got in with the Dean and churchwarden couple, even though you have seen her emails about how the churchwarden had done wrong.
I wonder if she was told he had a history?
Anyway, I felt I was permenantly on trial with her accusations, hence my defensiveness and trying to cover every single thing with the disinterested diocese.
Anyway, back to sailing, there was a bit of ego on the first course, but in the end we were all doing well and working well, and we all passed level one, and it was fun.
Level 2 was tougher, and I was frequently out solo sailing on a borrowed boat to try and 'do my homework' in my spare time, I felt a bit useless and incompetent and not in control, but nonetheless, I survived level 2.
What amuses me to remember was that we had three people with huge egos on level 2, so much that they hadn't bothered with level 1.
One was a girl who claimed she raced dinghys with her 'partner', but she couldn't gybe, and I said to her 'Is that how you gybe when you are racing?'
Now that sounds sharp but she had spent the course bossing the rest of us about and boasting, but I could gybe because I practiced frequently on my solo work, and she couldn't.
She lost a peg or two and went on the other boat after that! :)
The other two who amused us all were a really very puffed up couple, never sailed but decided level two was a better boast.
they came onto the boats stating how they were 'members of the yacht club' and had been voted in, did they need reminding that all new members need voting in by a proposer and seconder?
And so it went on, and we had to hear of the foriegn countries and all of it, a bit like the Lihous, that desparate insecurity that attempts to belittle others. I guess it is human nature, we all do it a bit, as the instructor quietly said.
But these two were hard work, sandals showing not nice feet, and their real fear of sailing that led to them not wanting to do certain exercises so they let the rest of us do extra, which was fine, me and the college lad from level 1 were getting on well and by then we were doing a lot of the work, there was also a lovely tutor from one of the secondary schools on the course, and he was good to talk to, so it wasn't all angst.
We used to finish when it was getting dark at night, and then we had the treacherous landings and berthings sometimes. :)
The weather was very tricky during level 1 and 2, with level 1 frequently becalmed and level 2 too windy, hence the Saturday exercises to make up for some we had to call off during the week.
The boats we sailed were Lazer Stratos, and they had lead weights to stabilise them, and the instructor said that this made them technically small yachts rather than dinghys, but they were dinghy enough. lovely boats but not singlehanders. The lead weight was supposed to make the boat uncapsizable.
I used to sail a Pico for my solo practice.
During the very windy spell, we nearly managed to capsize an uncapsizable boat! the gusts of wind were too strong and we were heading back in, a gust caught us and we had to go about, a bit out of control and with the inexperienced couple terrified and panicking, the rest of us brought the boat under control but there was a lot of water in it!
So, we passed level 2, and I went on to start training for level 3, solo, but 2010 with the collapse of my world and health meant I got into serious difficulties out on the water, and that was the end of my sailing.
I now cannot sail due to the lack of control and movement in my lower back and legs, I can't make a boat go about and would be a liability.
More sailing posts another time.
I joined a sailing group, and for a long time I didn't know they met every week but thought that meetings and sailings were only as advertised, so I missed out a bit.
But I had my first real Big Boat sail with them, to Guernsey and overnight there.
Andeventually, when I knew sailing was available every week, I got enthusiastic, dinghy and big boat sailing, and lovely people who took away some of the pain of the churchwarden situation.
I was sometimes simply too tense to be on a dinghy with others, so sometimes I would go on the guard boat, which was great fun, a little RIB, high speeds and sharp moves of course! :)
Then there were trips to France and chausey on the yacht, I always knew with all my heart that I was very lucky to be able to share in these trips, and now that the distress has cleared a bit, I can treasure those times.
Dinghy qualifications:
I was delighted to be able to do the States-run dinghy training courses.
I was more nervous of the other people on the course so every evening I was wracked with nerves.
The courses were run a week at a time, every evening and at the weekend for extra practice, and though some of the others would go in the club for a drink afterwards, I had no interest in that.
It was a question of going down to St. Aubin's harbour and either walking if the tide was out or waiting for the RIB if it wasn't, for the course every day.
I did level 1 and 2, which were offered at St. Aubins, and would have done level 3 with the qualified instructor who I used to borrrow a boat from for my solo practice.
One of the complications of my course was that the churchwarden had a boat at St. Aubins, the boat I used to sail with him, and he and his wife and JM accused me of stalking him because I was down there, which was very much JM false accusation style and very upsetting, and I told JM that there was ample proof as to why I was there, but she wouldn't reply. It is funny how many times she refused to read my side of things once she got in with the Dean and churchwarden couple, even though you have seen her emails about how the churchwarden had done wrong.
I wonder if she was told he had a history?
Anyway, I felt I was permenantly on trial with her accusations, hence my defensiveness and trying to cover every single thing with the disinterested diocese.
Anyway, back to sailing, there was a bit of ego on the first course, but in the end we were all doing well and working well, and we all passed level one, and it was fun.
Level 2 was tougher, and I was frequently out solo sailing on a borrowed boat to try and 'do my homework' in my spare time, I felt a bit useless and incompetent and not in control, but nonetheless, I survived level 2.
What amuses me to remember was that we had three people with huge egos on level 2, so much that they hadn't bothered with level 1.
One was a girl who claimed she raced dinghys with her 'partner', but she couldn't gybe, and I said to her 'Is that how you gybe when you are racing?'
Now that sounds sharp but she had spent the course bossing the rest of us about and boasting, but I could gybe because I practiced frequently on my solo work, and she couldn't.
She lost a peg or two and went on the other boat after that! :)
The other two who amused us all were a really very puffed up couple, never sailed but decided level two was a better boast.
they came onto the boats stating how they were 'members of the yacht club' and had been voted in, did they need reminding that all new members need voting in by a proposer and seconder?
And so it went on, and we had to hear of the foriegn countries and all of it, a bit like the Lihous, that desparate insecurity that attempts to belittle others. I guess it is human nature, we all do it a bit, as the instructor quietly said.
But these two were hard work, sandals showing not nice feet, and their real fear of sailing that led to them not wanting to do certain exercises so they let the rest of us do extra, which was fine, me and the college lad from level 1 were getting on well and by then we were doing a lot of the work, there was also a lovely tutor from one of the secondary schools on the course, and he was good to talk to, so it wasn't all angst.
We used to finish when it was getting dark at night, and then we had the treacherous landings and berthings sometimes. :)
The weather was very tricky during level 1 and 2, with level 1 frequently becalmed and level 2 too windy, hence the Saturday exercises to make up for some we had to call off during the week.
The boats we sailed were Lazer Stratos, and they had lead weights to stabilise them, and the instructor said that this made them technically small yachts rather than dinghys, but they were dinghy enough. lovely boats but not singlehanders. The lead weight was supposed to make the boat uncapsizable.
I used to sail a Pico for my solo practice.
During the very windy spell, we nearly managed to capsize an uncapsizable boat! the gusts of wind were too strong and we were heading back in, a gust caught us and we had to go about, a bit out of control and with the inexperienced couple terrified and panicking, the rest of us brought the boat under control but there was a lot of water in it!
So, we passed level 2, and I went on to start training for level 3, solo, but 2010 with the collapse of my world and health meant I got into serious difficulties out on the water, and that was the end of my sailing.
I now cannot sail due to the lack of control and movement in my lower back and legs, I can't make a boat go about and would be a liability.
More sailing posts another time.
Thursday, 27 March 2014
Happier Times -The Island's attractions, part 1
When I had been in Jersey a short while I was given a card that entitled me to free or discounted entry to attractions and activities.
I remember I was so keen to do everything. I had been in such severe poverty in Dorset that I had rarely been able to relax and have fun, in fact I had been rigid with worry so much of the time and without enough money for essentials, let alone leisure activities.
I remember going to the 'Amaizing Maze'? In St. Peter?
I remember that the young woman overseeing it was Eastern European and seemed baffled by a lone young adult wanting to go round the maze.
And I remember getting a bit panicky in the maze and some of the clues not making sense, but nonetheless I came out the other side. :)
Of course the museums were a delight as far as I was concerned, call me boring but I love museums and find history fascinating, I can never learn or retain dates or eras, but I find it all amazing.
I went round Hougue Bie and the collections they have there, I went round Hamptonne and the War Tunnels, (which scared me a little bit) and the Maritime museum, which was of course my favourite, and of course Elizabeth and Gorey Castles.
I found Jersey History fascinating.
Other things that the card allowed were discounted water-sports, so I had the joy of going jet-skiing, that was amazing fun.
It was a funny old day when I went jet-skiing, I was the only person going, and an ex-navy lad was going to go with me to instruct me, and then a teenage girl who knew the lad came along because her school was closed due to a contageous illness, so we went out there, the girl went with the lad, jet-skis are very fast so I was nervous, but I started enjoying it, but the other jet-ski sucked up a jellyfish into the engine so they had to stop and try and sort it out!
I remember I was so keen to do everything. I had been in such severe poverty in Dorset that I had rarely been able to relax and have fun, in fact I had been rigid with worry so much of the time and without enough money for essentials, let alone leisure activities.
I remember going to the 'Amaizing Maze'? In St. Peter?
I remember that the young woman overseeing it was Eastern European and seemed baffled by a lone young adult wanting to go round the maze.
And I remember getting a bit panicky in the maze and some of the clues not making sense, but nonetheless I came out the other side. :)
Of course the museums were a delight as far as I was concerned, call me boring but I love museums and find history fascinating, I can never learn or retain dates or eras, but I find it all amazing.
I went round Hougue Bie and the collections they have there, I went round Hamptonne and the War Tunnels, (which scared me a little bit) and the Maritime museum, which was of course my favourite, and of course Elizabeth and Gorey Castles.
I found Jersey History fascinating.
Other things that the card allowed were discounted water-sports, so I had the joy of going jet-skiing, that was amazing fun.
It was a funny old day when I went jet-skiing, I was the only person going, and an ex-navy lad was going to go with me to instruct me, and then a teenage girl who knew the lad came along because her school was closed due to a contageous illness, so we went out there, the girl went with the lad, jet-skis are very fast so I was nervous, but I started enjoying it, but the other jet-ski sucked up a jellyfish into the engine so they had to stop and try and sort it out!
Other People's Perspectives 3 - VoiceforChildren
Other People's Perspectives, VoiceforChildren's blogs on the Jersey matter.
Starting from the first they are;
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
For Bishop Dakin
Dear Bishop Dakin,
I would like to know what has happened to my complaint against Jane Fisher, and why, when I had a complaint against her, she was allowed to refer me to her colleague, John Cameron at the NSPCC.
sincerely,
HG
I would like to know what has happened to my complaint against Jane Fisher, and why, when I had a complaint against her, she was allowed to refer me to her colleague, John Cameron at the NSPCC.
sincerely,
HG
Channel Islands split
My advice is, try a denomination that doesn't fart about, or lie.
http://therightofreply.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/church-and-state-compromise-or-collusion
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-26739162
Correction, it does not support everyone involved, they have destroyed me again with their childish squabbles, where is Christ in all this?
http://therightofreply.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/church-and-state-compromise-or-collusion
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-26739162
Correction, it does not support everyone involved, they have destroyed me again with their childish squabbles, where is Christ in all this?
Tuesday, 25 March 2014
National Secular Society - Church of England is kept alive only by its presence in our schools
A bit of everything and everything.
National Secular Society - Church of England is kept alive only by its presence in our schools
Change of subject
I was thinking about the crazy way Tim Dakin publicly attacked the Deanery of Jersey with me as a pawn, I decided to look up what the Bible said.
The Bible has quite a variety of stuff on confrontation.
http://www.openbible.info/topics/confronting
Australia's bad church
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-03-24/archbishop-gives-evidence-at-royal-commission-into-child-abuse/5341732
Stuart has done a new blog. Very carefully worded, if I ay say so.
the problem is, because of the way survivors are treated, some wont dare to come forward.
http://freespeechoffshore.nl/stuartsyvretblog/ecclesiastical-abuse/
I have writer's blog at the moment and will not be writing much myself for a day or two.
http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/your_local_areas/10163140.Bishop_of_Chelmsford_launches_child_protection_initiative/
National Secular Society - Church of England is kept alive only by its presence in our schools
Change of subject
I was thinking about the crazy way Tim Dakin publicly attacked the Deanery of Jersey with me as a pawn, I decided to look up what the Bible said.
The Bible has quite a variety of stuff on confrontation.
http://www.openbible.info/topics/confronting
Australia's bad church
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-03-24/archbishop-gives-evidence-at-royal-commission-into-child-abuse/5341732
Stuart has done a new blog. Very carefully worded, if I ay say so.
the problem is, because of the way survivors are treated, some wont dare to come forward.
http://freespeechoffshore.nl/stuartsyvretblog/ecclesiastical-abuse/
I have writer's blog at the moment and will not be writing much myself for a day or two.
http://www.guardian-series.co.uk/your_local_areas/10163140.Bishop_of_Chelmsford_launches_child_protection_initiative/
Sunday, 23 March 2014
A bit of anything and everything then
The Churchwarden used to refer to my autism as an 'illness' that was to be healed, despite me telling him it wasn't.
Why was he allowed to 'work with me' if that is what he alternately claims to have been doing, when he had no experience or understanding of my condition/s?
One of the saddest memories was a leaflet delivering mission he and I went on.
It must have been before Easter, but possibly before Christmas, and we were delivering services timetable leaflets to the houses in the Church district, just as I have done before and since for other churches.
We walked past the sad Crematorium gardens, where ashes are put around rose bushes and a little plastic notice is put with the name of the deceased for a few days before being removed to make way for the next one.
The churchwarden told me his mother was in there, in the rose garden, when in reality it was so long ago that her ashes would be long gone with no memorial.
The churchwarden told me his mother would be glad he was looking after me, and even then it made me sad because I was unhappy with the situation and I genuinely wondered if his mother would be happy with the arrangement at all, but the churchwarden was always affirming his 'looking after me' and me being happy with it, even when I was very unsettled and upset.
We delivered leaflets all down the hill, and I wondered at all these huge lifeless houses looking over the bay, they felt forgotten and loveless, they felt like the kind of decay and sadness that Jersey can feel like. I felt sad.
When we got to the bottom of the hill, the churchwarden got me to sit on the wall with him, he had snacks in his pockets for us.
Then he started telling me about how his wife was not happy with me, how she found me to be a burden and how she complained about me.
I was devastated, but this seemed to be the reaction he wanted.
He told me his wife didn't like it that I didn't do more housework, and I protested, I said I was more than willing to help and I would offer more, but he didn't seem interested in what I said, but he seemed to enjoy my reaction.
I was utterly crushed.
When the churchwarden's wife came to join us, I tried to talk to her about it, but the churchwarden shushed me, which he usually did when I tried to talk to his wife about what he told me she said about me.
But later, I couldn't stand it and I did talk to her about it, she wouldn't engage and denied it all.
It was soul destroying, going through all this over and over.
I remember that lifeless hill with the crematorium at the top, and the end of my hopes and dreams.
Why was he allowed to 'work with me' if that is what he alternately claims to have been doing, when he had no experience or understanding of my condition/s?
One of the saddest memories was a leaflet delivering mission he and I went on.
It must have been before Easter, but possibly before Christmas, and we were delivering services timetable leaflets to the houses in the Church district, just as I have done before and since for other churches.
We walked past the sad Crematorium gardens, where ashes are put around rose bushes and a little plastic notice is put with the name of the deceased for a few days before being removed to make way for the next one.
The churchwarden told me his mother was in there, in the rose garden, when in reality it was so long ago that her ashes would be long gone with no memorial.
The churchwarden told me his mother would be glad he was looking after me, and even then it made me sad because I was unhappy with the situation and I genuinely wondered if his mother would be happy with the arrangement at all, but the churchwarden was always affirming his 'looking after me' and me being happy with it, even when I was very unsettled and upset.
We delivered leaflets all down the hill, and I wondered at all these huge lifeless houses looking over the bay, they felt forgotten and loveless, they felt like the kind of decay and sadness that Jersey can feel like. I felt sad.
When we got to the bottom of the hill, the churchwarden got me to sit on the wall with him, he had snacks in his pockets for us.
Then he started telling me about how his wife was not happy with me, how she found me to be a burden and how she complained about me.
I was devastated, but this seemed to be the reaction he wanted.
He told me his wife didn't like it that I didn't do more housework, and I protested, I said I was more than willing to help and I would offer more, but he didn't seem interested in what I said, but he seemed to enjoy my reaction.
I was utterly crushed.
When the churchwarden's wife came to join us, I tried to talk to her about it, but the churchwarden shushed me, which he usually did when I tried to talk to his wife about what he told me she said about me.
But later, I couldn't stand it and I did talk to her about it, she wouldn't engage and denied it all.
It was soul destroying, going through all this over and over.
I remember that lifeless hill with the crematorium at the top, and the end of my hopes and dreams.
Austerity Lunch
I was just thinking about the old days, when we used to have 'Austerity Lunches' to raise funds for Romania and Africa.
Those who don't know, an 'Austerity lunch' is usually bread and cheese, maybe soup.
A certain person, since convicted of paedophilia, used to tell us that this kind of lunch was what the families in Romania used to eat every day.
And I used to think 'wow, they could afford cheese!'
Because I couldn't afford cheese, and to me, the austerity lunch was a really good meal!
The Church of England forget when they do all these emotional appeals, that there are people in the UK who have very little, and although we are not really welcome in the Church of England because of our poverty, we are there among those people as they make 'emotional appeals' and forget that some of us are very badly off.
Today I have sat here for my lunch, a cuppa soup from a pack of 4 for 28p from the supermarket (not really good for you). And two slices of dry bread that would be too mouldy to eat tomorrow. No butter, no cheese, very little taste in the soup.
Better than nothing, and better without the Church of England's ignorance making it worse.
Those who don't know, an 'Austerity lunch' is usually bread and cheese, maybe soup.
A certain person, since convicted of paedophilia, used to tell us that this kind of lunch was what the families in Romania used to eat every day.
And I used to think 'wow, they could afford cheese!'
Because I couldn't afford cheese, and to me, the austerity lunch was a really good meal!
The Church of England forget when they do all these emotional appeals, that there are people in the UK who have very little, and although we are not really welcome in the Church of England because of our poverty, we are there among those people as they make 'emotional appeals' and forget that some of us are very badly off.
Today I have sat here for my lunch, a cuppa soup from a pack of 4 for 28p from the supermarket (not really good for you). And two slices of dry bread that would be too mouldy to eat tomorrow. No butter, no cheese, very little taste in the soup.
Better than nothing, and better without the Church of England's ignorance making it worse.
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