Bob states on his blog that the churchwarden who abused me is possibly to be alected churchwarden in the Town Church in Jersey.
According to Church of England guidelines he doesn't need a CRB check in order to be elected, but what he does need is church backing and a Bishop to confirm him as churchwarden.
Well the church have backed him, and during my complaint against him, he continued to attend the Town Church with the Dean and spend time with the Dean, and when I spoke to the Diocese about this and continued my complaint about it thus being an unfair and unbalanced complaint, I was rubbished of course, by Jane Fisher, as you have seen in that extract of an email where she claims that the Dean is neutral.
And Bishop Trevor actually joined in the culty games while he was in Jersey while I was there, so him blessing the churchwarden as churchwarden at the town church would not be surprising at all.
But what a terrible message it sends out, it sends out a message that it is ok for the church to destroy a victim and employ an unrepentant abuser, although that has pretty much been the message sent out over and over again.
The Deanery didn't run a smear campaign against the churchwarden, and Bishop Dakin didn't have him forcibly traced and forced on and threatened, the church have looked after the unrepentant churchwarden and are re-electing him while leaving me on the run and living in fear of further harm from the church with release of defamatory and unbalanced and hijacked reports.
This is Christianity according to the Church of England.
Jane Fisher worked hard to cover up in Jersey at my expense, absolving people who harmed and upset me for the churchwarden, and then she slandered me round Winchester, she didn't do this to the churchwarden , in fact she has allowed the Deanery to slander and smear me and protect him.
Saturday, 22 March 2014
Christians
If the people in the Diocese and Deanery war are Christias then why can't they settle this civilly?
I am caught in the middle and it is making me ill, especially the wait to be damaged by unbalanced and inaccurate reports that condemn me instead of investigating my complaint. Reports that cover for wrongdoers.
Why am I being crucified for my sins when I do not work for the church and other wrongdoers do, hence their wrongs, which they will not take responsibility for, are worse, while I am on my knees pleading for forgiveness and absolution!
ps, the dioce appear to have made that NSPCC bid only to be able to put something in their press statement to cover for themselves.
'working hard accross the diocese to provide me with help'? Ha!
I am caught in the middle and it is making me ill, especially the wait to be damaged by unbalanced and inaccurate reports that condemn me instead of investigating my complaint. Reports that cover for wrongdoers.
Why am I being crucified for my sins when I do not work for the church and other wrongdoers do, hence their wrongs, which they will not take responsibility for, are worse, while I am on my knees pleading for forgiveness and absolution!
ps, the dioce appear to have made that NSPCC bid only to be able to put something in their press statement to cover for themselves.
'working hard accross the diocese to provide me with help'? Ha!
For John Cameron
Dear John Cameron,
I am aware that you were not randomly chosen to contact me on behalf of the Diocese of Winchester but that you have a history with Jane Fisher.
Thus Tim Dakin's statement about the Diocese working hard to get me help was rubbish.
And I didn't agree to a referral nor did they have my consent.
And Jane Fisher has inflicted more damage on me during this sorry saga than anyone.
However, I will agree to speak with you on these conditions.
The condition being that the NSPCC agrees to a single overarching enquiry into Jimmy Saville and how he was allowed access to the NSPCC and children through the NSPCC, even though the rumours about his behaviour were very much around, this enquiry should also take Esther Rantzen's behaviour in relation to this matter into account.
Until then, I am disgusted by the Diocese and NSPCC's liason, utterly disgusted.
I am aware that you were not randomly chosen to contact me on behalf of the Diocese of Winchester but that you have a history with Jane Fisher.
Thus Tim Dakin's statement about the Diocese working hard to get me help was rubbish.
And I didn't agree to a referral nor did they have my consent.
And Jane Fisher has inflicted more damage on me during this sorry saga than anyone.
However, I will agree to speak with you on these conditions.
The condition being that the NSPCC agrees to a single overarching enquiry into Jimmy Saville and how he was allowed access to the NSPCC and children through the NSPCC, even though the rumours about his behaviour were very much around, this enquiry should also take Esther Rantzen's behaviour in relation to this matter into account.
Until then, I am disgusted by the Diocese and NSPCC's liason, utterly disgusted.
Thursday, 20 March 2014
Presenting 'Emails and Statements'
This is a new Blog, the purpose of which is to prevent the 'Anything and Everything' blog from being further crowded by Jersey emails and Statements.
This is so that the Anything and Everything can be freed up for me to write my story, narrating it as I was before, as I have done through the posts of my adult life from 17-Jersey in the 'lets go back' Statements. I will proceed to narrate 'Jersey and After Jersey' as best I can as I remain traumatized by it all.
http://emailsandstatements.blogspot.co.uk/
The emails and Statements blog.
I would have used 'Pages' but the emails on pages are taking a lot of room already.
This is so that the Anything and Everything can be freed up for me to write my story, narrating it as I was before, as I have done through the posts of my adult life from 17-Jersey in the 'lets go back' Statements. I will proceed to narrate 'Jersey and After Jersey' as best I can as I remain traumatized by it all.
http://emailsandstatements.blogspot.co.uk/
The emails and Statements blog.
I would have used 'Pages' but the emails on pages are taking a lot of room already.
email of formal letter to the Dean, letter in attachment
There are further emails around this one to be posted:
Dear Mr Dean,
I am a bit confused that I have been given a message that you are still waiting for a formal complaint, I believe that the statement I sent you in the beginning was a formal complaint, I also did not withdraw the complaint as far as I know, just said I was not sure about continueing, I I am also aware that you have contacted JM in the meantime, I enclose a letter of complaint, please process the matter urgently as I am extremely unwell.
Please phone me on ***** ****** if you are able to speak to me. I am very confused and distressed by the way the complaint has been delayed. I do not believe that my concerns here should bias against me, as I am quite confused and distressed about not understanding what is going on.
****** *****
Dear Mr Dean,
I am a bit confused that I have been given a message that you are still waiting for a formal complaint, I believe that the statement I sent you in the beginning was a formal complaint, I also did not withdraw the complaint as far as I know, just said I was not sure about continueing, I I am also aware that you have contacted JM in the meantime, I enclose a letter of complaint, please process the matter urgently as I am extremely unwell.
Please phone me on ***** ****** if you are able to speak to me. I am very confused and distressed by the way the complaint has been delayed. I do not believe that my concerns here should bias against me, as I am quite confused and distressed about not understanding what is going on.
****** *****
Wednesday, 19 March 2014
anything and everything
Dear Jane Fisher and Micheal Scott-Joynt,
Do you remember and did you tell any investigation or police force what I said when I rang constantly?
I said 'Make Jane Fisher go away!'
I said 'Please stop shaming and humiliating me!'
I came up to Wolvsley, not to 'hang around' or 'sleep in the shed' as deviously claimed,
I came up with letters for the Bishop, desparately trying to get him to understand what had happened to me, and persuade him to do something about it.
That is very different from me just being deranged and shouting and hanging around.
I wanted my complaints to be dealt with, although by the time Jane Fisher and the Bishop set the police on me in Jersey, it was too late for justice, because that injustice could never be undone.
And I wanted to stop being slandered to all and sundry in Winchester.
Did anyone or Korris ever know or understand that I was supposed to speak to Lou Scott-Joynt, and she told me to ring out of hours so that I would get through to her and not the office, and she told me that the only time she couldn't answer was when they were in chapel in the morning? and yet the Bishop had me done for phoning out of hours?!
Funny how lou Scott-Joynt's part in this was missed out of all court cases and the Korris report.
Especially the part where she was repeating the churchwarden-Dean-Lihou-Warren collaberation back to me, the same collaberation used against me again by Ashenden and Bailhache etc, with my side never at any point being taken by anyone.
Not really funny at all, sick. The whole way Jane Fisher has been able to engineer the matter and repeatedly mislead people about her and the Scott-Joynt's actions and attitude.
Do you remember and did you tell any investigation or police force what I said when I rang constantly?
I said 'Make Jane Fisher go away!'
I said 'Please stop shaming and humiliating me!'
I came up to Wolvsley, not to 'hang around' or 'sleep in the shed' as deviously claimed,
I came up with letters for the Bishop, desparately trying to get him to understand what had happened to me, and persuade him to do something about it.
That is very different from me just being deranged and shouting and hanging around.
I wanted my complaints to be dealt with, although by the time Jane Fisher and the Bishop set the police on me in Jersey, it was too late for justice, because that injustice could never be undone.
And I wanted to stop being slandered to all and sundry in Winchester.
Did anyone or Korris ever know or understand that I was supposed to speak to Lou Scott-Joynt, and she told me to ring out of hours so that I would get through to her and not the office, and she told me that the only time she couldn't answer was when they were in chapel in the morning? and yet the Bishop had me done for phoning out of hours?!
Funny how lou Scott-Joynt's part in this was missed out of all court cases and the Korris report.
Especially the part where she was repeating the churchwarden-Dean-Lihou-Warren collaberation back to me, the same collaberation used against me again by Ashenden and Bailhache etc, with my side never at any point being taken by anyone.
Not really funny at all, sick. The whole way Jane Fisher has been able to engineer the matter and repeatedly mislead people about her and the Scott-Joynt's actions and attitude.
Social Services, Birthdays and what's the point?
Well I wasn't going to blog today, except maybe a vague post about Birthdays.
Now aged 33 and 3 years travelling homeless, branded mad and bad by the pharisees in the Diocese of Winchester, I did ask them if they want me to ride up to Winchester on a donkey for Passover and be crucified. I am pretty much scourged and ready for them to crucify me with their reports and press releases.
So today was the 33rd Birthday and I was vaguely going to blog about Birthdays. But I have felt too unwell to do much.
I was horrified to receive an email that violently stirred up distress, what a day to receive it!
Social services in Hampshire apparently accidentally copied me in on an email to other people.
Let me tell you about social services in Hampshire.
They treated me like dirt.
After Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt collaborated to try and have me put away in Sussex and pretended their complaints were separate, which they weren't. I rang Hampshire social services and battled with conversations as they passed me round and round and round the departments, passing the buck, as they do.
Eventually they took my pleas to be protected from Jane Fisher, and I explained as best I could how she had had me locked up repeatedly for responding in distress to her and Bishop Scott-Joynt's refusal of my complaint and their repeated violations of my privacy and human rights and their slander of me in Winchester that omitted the abuse and my disability and made me out to be mad and bad, and at first social services seemed positive that something would be done to protect me.
The matter was taken on by Safeguarding,
Safeguarding quickly decided to side with Jane Fisher and the police and treat me with contempt and refer me without my consent, to a mental health worker at the very daycentre I fled because of Fisher and the Bishop's violation and slander of me.
Basically social services, instead of investigating or protecting me, decided to slur me as mentally ill, despite the mental health services saying I was not.
Social services thus made it clear that rather than protecting a vulnerable person, they prefer to slur them as insane and thus protect their abuser, in my case Jane Fisher, who has been extremely clever at absolving herself at my expense throughout this whole matter -glaringly showing up in her recent involvement and continuation of exactly the same pattern of violation and jeer that I cannot get rid of her, cannot escape her, she can have me traced and force on me and injure me wherever I go and whatever I do, this is causing me severe dispair.
I can see no future until I am safe from Jane Fisher.
well, Jane Fisher is supposedly in 'safeguarding', works closely with these people in Hampshire County Council and was very able to cover up her wrongdoing, especially as the police and court action was one-sided and omitted my side of things, so I was portrayed as mad and bad.
The very reason I contacted social services was because Jane Fisher claimed to police and court that she 'still wanted to help me',
despite the fact she had got me a terrible record, from which I will never recover, from responding to her refusal to deal with my complaint or leave me alone, my mad and bad emails were because she was hurting me, firstly by refusing to deal with anyone in Jersey and rubbishing me there, hence me dealing with them myself, and secondly because she continuously violated and slandered me behind my back, causing me to be driven from my home town, in what she claimed was help,
she did not have my permission to help me, and after Jersey, she was the last person on earth who should have been involved!
Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt claimed they had 'tried to help house me' in Winchester, when in reality they interfered so I was unable to be housed, had me trapped and terrified in that situation at Christmas 2010, which was one-sidedly described in court as me making 40 phonecalls and texts to Jane Fisher, when in reality I was responding to her and the Bishop tricking me and having me forcibly trapped in their friend's house.
So I responded to that by contacting them and received a one-sided punishment for it in the court, and yet Jane Fisher has been left to wreck my life again in the past year and jeered by setting the NSPCC on me!
It is utterly horrifying that she has recently, again, after a year damaging me, violated my privacy and human rights by setting the NSPCC of all people on me! Utterly unbelievable, when will someone step in and say 'look, this is utterly insane, Jane Fisher has inflicted a criminal record and pain and shame beyond healing or bearing on HG, HG has made complaints to the police, social services, the Diocese, the heads of safeguarding, the Archbishop, HG has tried to protect herself from Jane Fisher for 5 or 6 years and Jane Fisher is still free to harm her, was free to bias the Korris report and tamper with eveidence throughout, and HG is truly beyond the end of her tether, living in poverty, misery and fear of the Diocese and police, no relief or redress, the Bishop, in alliance with Jane Fisher has threatened HG with the very unjust police and court whatever that Fisher and the previous Bishop got her, after having HG forcibly and illegally traced and wiping her name through the mud publicly c/o his employees in Jersey.
When does it stop?
When will I stop being the public figure of shame and whipping for the diocese and allowed to start afresh?
Life will always be a kind of death with the emotional and psychological damage inflicted by Fisher, as described above, the way she has shamed me and branded me on record while not dealing with my abusers, and allowing abusers like FM to laugh at me in publicwhen I was shamed on the streets of Winchester, Jane Fisher sending an email round to all my old friends and contacts shaming and villifying me, it isn't something I can recover from.
So anyway, I made my displeasure known to the idiots at social services today. But it made a miserable Birthday, in poverty and in hiding and with £10 to last me a week, no lights or adequate cooking facilities, and in pain and struggling to walk, even worse. The memories of how shittily I was spoken to and fobbed off by social services and knowing that I would get more of the same if I lodged a complaint.
I have had to cancel tomorrow's treatment for my spine and pelvis because I cannot afford it, I cannot even afford to get to the hospital for a routine tomorrow. But seeing as I am already in pain and struggling to walk, I would probably be told to postpone until a better time, I guess this is the illness described as 'fibromyalgia' rather than the injuries troubling me today, I certainly feel ill.
Birthdays:
Birthdays were celebrated in my family, usually presents and cards, and in the old days when the family was closed, we had parties.
In my teenage years after that terrible series of events with my brother and the press and my mum and baby sister in hospital, things became more vague and the family were moving apart, with all those old enough having left home, Birthdays didn't matter then, and I was so isolated, as I am now, that Birthdays weren't worth much, my 16th and 18th Birthdays were pretty much forgotten by my family, although, as you will see in my previous writing of happy memories, the farm staff made my 18th Birthday special by getting me a card and some fish and chips and a bottle of coke.
No sparkly parties and alcohol and big presents for me, which was what my fellow college students all seemed to have, but I was happy, just being in Winchester, walking the dog, really at home in my home town, you know how it is when you belong to a place and a place belongs to you? That was Winchester when I turned 18. Just as it never will be again, Winchester for me now is deeply deeply horrifically wounded and shattered, taken from me violently by the Bishop and Jane Fisher, a place of shame where I am branded.
But when I was a teenager, Winchester was heaven, and so my 18th was ok without much fuss.
My 19th must have been when I was at college? I remember nothing about it, and my 20th, I remember JM getting me a card with a funny picture on it, the card said 1 year old on it and I didn't blame her, the caption was some cartoon animal with a bib and a caption saying 'feed me', which was a random thing that I used to say. But JM also got me a 'normal' card.
JM was the closest I have ever had to a mother, and out of everyone who has got involved and got out of their depth or hurt me, JM is the only one I still love.
But love does not equal safety and I will never see her again.
Anyway, my 21st Birthday was described here:
http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/the-motorbike-party.html
I don't remember many Birthdays clearly, usually my Birthday is near Easter, and the two blur, and since joining the Church of England, Easter became a special time, so it is all a blur of daffodils and sunshine and the beatiful green of the Hampshire countryside and joy.
Time with friends and general peace and enjoyment of a tough but ok life.
The first really sad Birthday I remember was when Jill Lihou sent me a Birthday Card in March 2007, when she and George had been asked by me to leave me alone because they had broken my heart with their behaviour.
It broke my heart again when they sent me a card, and I cried. It was a silver and white card with a West Highland White Terrier on it, Jill said it was the closest she could find to their dog, Jessa.
I did not want a card from them, Jill had wanted me to spend my Birthday with them, to the exclusion of all others, and out of the routine they had re-set to suit themselves and with no input from me, and I didn't want to stay when it suited them and I had other plans.
I am sure they didn't mean to upset me with the Birthday thing, but it did, because I needed space and I needed to be part of the decision making and I needed to be listened to.
But I remember when Birthdays really started becoming un-Birthdays, it was in Jersey, when the Churchwarden and his wife were hurting me,
This was over the 'daughter-not daughter' row, and they went away for Easter and I was with JM for Easter, this was 2008, it was my Birthday and I spent that with JM and my friends, which was great, but the daughter-not daughter row had concluded as not daughter, (which continued to change), but they sent me away with a card that said daughter on it! Again, this was heartbreaking.
And of course, Birthdays after that were wrecked, as was Christmas, by the horrors of the consequences of reporting the Churchwarden.
The reality is that is has cost me my life and he and his supporters nothing, I would have been better off letting him go on and abuse and hope the next victim had better luck, I wonder if that is how Sally felt about FM though? When JM rubbished her when she told her?
I may or may not have been FM's next victim, but I didn't have better luck.
But on the streets is where I finally learned, you keep your head down or you end up worse off than the wrongdoer.
Anyway, Birthdays on the streets, that first Birthday on the streets was shortly after the police brutality which has left me traumatized to this day. And as I walked down the road, the same officer who had deliberately, repeatedly, needlessly and brutally flung me to the ground, said 'hello' familiarly to me, you know how police 'speak' to the people they harm, as if they know them and are friendly with them? well that is what happened for my Birthday, sending me back into shock and sickness.
That Birthday on the streets of Winchester, shunned, maligned, despised and ruined.
And the ones that followed weren't any better, when I went on the run, I couldn't tell anyone my Birthday, for fear of being traced, that is still the case.
Last Birthday and Easter was when I had pneumonia and whooping cough, started to recover, and the blasted diocese launched on me.
I say last Birthday and Easter that happened, because I had no idea of March 8th for some time, although I had been dreaming of Jersey a lot at the time and I had already been shunned and made unwelcome by people who read the Korris rubbish long before I knew what had happened.
This Birthday I have £5 left, and a pint of milk, I am sitting in the dark as there is no light, I am living in fear of the Diocese, I am facing a bleak continuation of six years of hell, I am being subjected to reports that omit my side of things and injure me, no-one will defend me from the Diocese's unwanted interventions or call them to account.
Basically another Birthday in a world that upholds abusers and condemns survivors is another unwanted Birthday.
I can go on having the faint magical hope that things will turn out right, but it is just the child I am, things will not be alright, today was not a magical wonderful day, not a day of sunshine and daffodils and friends inviting me round for a pot of tea, it was a day of poor food, darkness because there are no lights in the house, emotional injury as social services who harmed me made a serious error in including me in an email, a day of despair and futility as I try to work out how to survive the week on what I have.
I wish God was merciful and could see my pain and answer, but this God is the God of the Church of England and their abuse and cover-ups and deceit at my expense.
My Birthday wish, which is not a suicide threat, as ever, is to not see another unBirthday in a world where I am eternally condemned and have to live like this.
Now aged 33 and 3 years travelling homeless, branded mad and bad by the pharisees in the Diocese of Winchester, I did ask them if they want me to ride up to Winchester on a donkey for Passover and be crucified. I am pretty much scourged and ready for them to crucify me with their reports and press releases.
So today was the 33rd Birthday and I was vaguely going to blog about Birthdays. But I have felt too unwell to do much.
I was horrified to receive an email that violently stirred up distress, what a day to receive it!
Social services in Hampshire apparently accidentally copied me in on an email to other people.
Let me tell you about social services in Hampshire.
They treated me like dirt.
After Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt collaborated to try and have me put away in Sussex and pretended their complaints were separate, which they weren't. I rang Hampshire social services and battled with conversations as they passed me round and round and round the departments, passing the buck, as they do.
Eventually they took my pleas to be protected from Jane Fisher, and I explained as best I could how she had had me locked up repeatedly for responding in distress to her and Bishop Scott-Joynt's refusal of my complaint and their repeated violations of my privacy and human rights and their slander of me in Winchester that omitted the abuse and my disability and made me out to be mad and bad, and at first social services seemed positive that something would be done to protect me.
The matter was taken on by Safeguarding,
Safeguarding quickly decided to side with Jane Fisher and the police and treat me with contempt and refer me without my consent, to a mental health worker at the very daycentre I fled because of Fisher and the Bishop's violation and slander of me.
Basically social services, instead of investigating or protecting me, decided to slur me as mentally ill, despite the mental health services saying I was not.
Social services thus made it clear that rather than protecting a vulnerable person, they prefer to slur them as insane and thus protect their abuser, in my case Jane Fisher, who has been extremely clever at absolving herself at my expense throughout this whole matter -glaringly showing up in her recent involvement and continuation of exactly the same pattern of violation and jeer that I cannot get rid of her, cannot escape her, she can have me traced and force on me and injure me wherever I go and whatever I do, this is causing me severe dispair.
I can see no future until I am safe from Jane Fisher.
well, Jane Fisher is supposedly in 'safeguarding', works closely with these people in Hampshire County Council and was very able to cover up her wrongdoing, especially as the police and court action was one-sided and omitted my side of things, so I was portrayed as mad and bad.
The very reason I contacted social services was because Jane Fisher claimed to police and court that she 'still wanted to help me',
despite the fact she had got me a terrible record, from which I will never recover, from responding to her refusal to deal with my complaint or leave me alone, my mad and bad emails were because she was hurting me, firstly by refusing to deal with anyone in Jersey and rubbishing me there, hence me dealing with them myself, and secondly because she continuously violated and slandered me behind my back, causing me to be driven from my home town, in what she claimed was help,
she did not have my permission to help me, and after Jersey, she was the last person on earth who should have been involved!
Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt claimed they had 'tried to help house me' in Winchester, when in reality they interfered so I was unable to be housed, had me trapped and terrified in that situation at Christmas 2010, which was one-sidedly described in court as me making 40 phonecalls and texts to Jane Fisher, when in reality I was responding to her and the Bishop tricking me and having me forcibly trapped in their friend's house.
So I responded to that by contacting them and received a one-sided punishment for it in the court, and yet Jane Fisher has been left to wreck my life again in the past year and jeered by setting the NSPCC on me!
It is utterly horrifying that she has recently, again, after a year damaging me, violated my privacy and human rights by setting the NSPCC of all people on me! Utterly unbelievable, when will someone step in and say 'look, this is utterly insane, Jane Fisher has inflicted a criminal record and pain and shame beyond healing or bearing on HG, HG has made complaints to the police, social services, the Diocese, the heads of safeguarding, the Archbishop, HG has tried to protect herself from Jane Fisher for 5 or 6 years and Jane Fisher is still free to harm her, was free to bias the Korris report and tamper with eveidence throughout, and HG is truly beyond the end of her tether, living in poverty, misery and fear of the Diocese and police, no relief or redress, the Bishop, in alliance with Jane Fisher has threatened HG with the very unjust police and court whatever that Fisher and the previous Bishop got her, after having HG forcibly and illegally traced and wiping her name through the mud publicly c/o his employees in Jersey.
When does it stop?
When will I stop being the public figure of shame and whipping for the diocese and allowed to start afresh?
Life will always be a kind of death with the emotional and psychological damage inflicted by Fisher, as described above, the way she has shamed me and branded me on record while not dealing with my abusers, and allowing abusers like FM to laugh at me in publicwhen I was shamed on the streets of Winchester, Jane Fisher sending an email round to all my old friends and contacts shaming and villifying me, it isn't something I can recover from.
So anyway, I made my displeasure known to the idiots at social services today. But it made a miserable Birthday, in poverty and in hiding and with £10 to last me a week, no lights or adequate cooking facilities, and in pain and struggling to walk, even worse. The memories of how shittily I was spoken to and fobbed off by social services and knowing that I would get more of the same if I lodged a complaint.
I have had to cancel tomorrow's treatment for my spine and pelvis because I cannot afford it, I cannot even afford to get to the hospital for a routine tomorrow. But seeing as I am already in pain and struggling to walk, I would probably be told to postpone until a better time, I guess this is the illness described as 'fibromyalgia' rather than the injuries troubling me today, I certainly feel ill.
Birthdays:
Birthdays were celebrated in my family, usually presents and cards, and in the old days when the family was closed, we had parties.
In my teenage years after that terrible series of events with my brother and the press and my mum and baby sister in hospital, things became more vague and the family were moving apart, with all those old enough having left home, Birthdays didn't matter then, and I was so isolated, as I am now, that Birthdays weren't worth much, my 16th and 18th Birthdays were pretty much forgotten by my family, although, as you will see in my previous writing of happy memories, the farm staff made my 18th Birthday special by getting me a card and some fish and chips and a bottle of coke.
No sparkly parties and alcohol and big presents for me, which was what my fellow college students all seemed to have, but I was happy, just being in Winchester, walking the dog, really at home in my home town, you know how it is when you belong to a place and a place belongs to you? That was Winchester when I turned 18. Just as it never will be again, Winchester for me now is deeply deeply horrifically wounded and shattered, taken from me violently by the Bishop and Jane Fisher, a place of shame where I am branded.
But when I was a teenager, Winchester was heaven, and so my 18th was ok without much fuss.
My 19th must have been when I was at college? I remember nothing about it, and my 20th, I remember JM getting me a card with a funny picture on it, the card said 1 year old on it and I didn't blame her, the caption was some cartoon animal with a bib and a caption saying 'feed me', which was a random thing that I used to say. But JM also got me a 'normal' card.
JM was the closest I have ever had to a mother, and out of everyone who has got involved and got out of their depth or hurt me, JM is the only one I still love.
But love does not equal safety and I will never see her again.
Anyway, my 21st Birthday was described here:
http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/the-motorbike-party.html
I don't remember many Birthdays clearly, usually my Birthday is near Easter, and the two blur, and since joining the Church of England, Easter became a special time, so it is all a blur of daffodils and sunshine and the beatiful green of the Hampshire countryside and joy.
Time with friends and general peace and enjoyment of a tough but ok life.
The first really sad Birthday I remember was when Jill Lihou sent me a Birthday Card in March 2007, when she and George had been asked by me to leave me alone because they had broken my heart with their behaviour.
It broke my heart again when they sent me a card, and I cried. It was a silver and white card with a West Highland White Terrier on it, Jill said it was the closest she could find to their dog, Jessa.
I did not want a card from them, Jill had wanted me to spend my Birthday with them, to the exclusion of all others, and out of the routine they had re-set to suit themselves and with no input from me, and I didn't want to stay when it suited them and I had other plans.
I am sure they didn't mean to upset me with the Birthday thing, but it did, because I needed space and I needed to be part of the decision making and I needed to be listened to.
But I remember when Birthdays really started becoming un-Birthdays, it was in Jersey, when the Churchwarden and his wife were hurting me,
This was over the 'daughter-not daughter' row, and they went away for Easter and I was with JM for Easter, this was 2008, it was my Birthday and I spent that with JM and my friends, which was great, but the daughter-not daughter row had concluded as not daughter, (which continued to change), but they sent me away with a card that said daughter on it! Again, this was heartbreaking.
And of course, Birthdays after that were wrecked, as was Christmas, by the horrors of the consequences of reporting the Churchwarden.
The reality is that is has cost me my life and he and his supporters nothing, I would have been better off letting him go on and abuse and hope the next victim had better luck, I wonder if that is how Sally felt about FM though? When JM rubbished her when she told her?
I may or may not have been FM's next victim, but I didn't have better luck.
But on the streets is where I finally learned, you keep your head down or you end up worse off than the wrongdoer.
Anyway, Birthdays on the streets, that first Birthday on the streets was shortly after the police brutality which has left me traumatized to this day. And as I walked down the road, the same officer who had deliberately, repeatedly, needlessly and brutally flung me to the ground, said 'hello' familiarly to me, you know how police 'speak' to the people they harm, as if they know them and are friendly with them? well that is what happened for my Birthday, sending me back into shock and sickness.
That Birthday on the streets of Winchester, shunned, maligned, despised and ruined.
And the ones that followed weren't any better, when I went on the run, I couldn't tell anyone my Birthday, for fear of being traced, that is still the case.
Last Birthday and Easter was when I had pneumonia and whooping cough, started to recover, and the blasted diocese launched on me.
I say last Birthday and Easter that happened, because I had no idea of March 8th for some time, although I had been dreaming of Jersey a lot at the time and I had already been shunned and made unwelcome by people who read the Korris rubbish long before I knew what had happened.
This Birthday I have £5 left, and a pint of milk, I am sitting in the dark as there is no light, I am living in fear of the Diocese, I am facing a bleak continuation of six years of hell, I am being subjected to reports that omit my side of things and injure me, no-one will defend me from the Diocese's unwanted interventions or call them to account.
Basically another Birthday in a world that upholds abusers and condemns survivors is another unwanted Birthday.
I can go on having the faint magical hope that things will turn out right, but it is just the child I am, things will not be alright, today was not a magical wonderful day, not a day of sunshine and daffodils and friends inviting me round for a pot of tea, it was a day of poor food, darkness because there are no lights in the house, emotional injury as social services who harmed me made a serious error in including me in an email, a day of despair and futility as I try to work out how to survive the week on what I have.
I wish God was merciful and could see my pain and answer, but this God is the God of the Church of England and their abuse and cover-ups and deceit at my expense.
My Birthday wish, which is not a suicide threat, as ever, is to not see another unBirthday in a world where I am eternally condemned and have to live like this.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
Oh Jersey. Memories triggered by my earlier post
I did a post earlier called 'That Sadness I cannot name'.
I have had a bit of response to that.
People mentioned the reservoir and the woods, and of course my old haunt up by Corbiere.
Yes, beautiful and I loved the rocks behind the Highlands Hotel,
but even those places were rarely lonely, with tourists and other people around at all times of the year.
Thankfully no tourist ever climbed right out on the rocks with me! :) (because you have to be like me to dare to go right out there).
I mentioned David Essex's Video of 'A winter's tale', which led to me looking it up this evening, which maybe wasn't such a good idea, because that video makes me cry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL6jptOQ84A
Because it reminds me of that cold winter in Jersey, a freezing cold St. Clements Bay, frozen still in my memory forever.
And it reminds me that for a while, in that heartbreak, a man who was like a brother to me was there alongside me, and the times we shared.
And fainter memory of the real heartbreak comes through then, the previous Christmas, the man who called himself 'Daddy' walking through St. Helier with me, holding my hand, and snatching his hand away every time he saw someone he knew, 'in case they talked'.
I thought it was to be the best Christmas ever, but it was my last Christmas, in a land where it is always winter but never Christmas.
Dear Jersey, I don't think they can reverse the building, but I pray that the government changes, so that money goes into education and welfare instead of into the wrong pockets.
I pray that the children of Jersey will see grass and trees and wild flowers and be able to treasure them rather than focus on material things, as all the children in Jersey who I met, did.
I am standing on the frozen shore of St. Clements, my eternal memory of Jersey, the one that came back to me in dreams when the Dean was suspended, even though I knew nothing until weeks later.
I have had a bit of response to that.
People mentioned the reservoir and the woods, and of course my old haunt up by Corbiere.
Yes, beautiful and I loved the rocks behind the Highlands Hotel,
but even those places were rarely lonely, with tourists and other people around at all times of the year.
Thankfully no tourist ever climbed right out on the rocks with me! :) (because you have to be like me to dare to go right out there).
I mentioned David Essex's Video of 'A winter's tale', which led to me looking it up this evening, which maybe wasn't such a good idea, because that video makes me cry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NL6jptOQ84A
Because it reminds me of that cold winter in Jersey, a freezing cold St. Clements Bay, frozen still in my memory forever.
And it reminds me that for a while, in that heartbreak, a man who was like a brother to me was there alongside me, and the times we shared.
And fainter memory of the real heartbreak comes through then, the previous Christmas, the man who called himself 'Daddy' walking through St. Helier with me, holding my hand, and snatching his hand away every time he saw someone he knew, 'in case they talked'.
I thought it was to be the best Christmas ever, but it was my last Christmas, in a land where it is always winter but never Christmas.
Dear Jersey, I don't think they can reverse the building, but I pray that the government changes, so that money goes into education and welfare instead of into the wrong pockets.
I pray that the children of Jersey will see grass and trees and wild flowers and be able to treasure them rather than focus on material things, as all the children in Jersey who I met, did.
I am standing on the frozen shore of St. Clements, my eternal memory of Jersey, the one that came back to me in dreams when the Dean was suspended, even though I knew nothing until weeks later.
Apps
I was just looking at my apps at the bottom of the page.
I am delighted that in the last few days since I put the flag counter in, I have got 15 flags.
Sometimes countries show up on blogger stats and not on feedjit or flags, but I am happy to have 15 flags within days :)
I also click on my fish app to feed the fish, anyone who visits the site can do that if they can see the fish.
But best of all, the daily prayer app resounded with me today.
Lord, may I never forget that you love me even when I am unlovable, even when I cannot love myself anymore. You love me not only when I am good, for you love me at all times - ALWAYS.
Because it is so impossible to love myself or see any good in myself after what has happened, I feel permenantly condemned.
So I like that prayer.
I am delighted that in the last few days since I put the flag counter in, I have got 15 flags.
Sometimes countries show up on blogger stats and not on feedjit or flags, but I am happy to have 15 flags within days :)
I also click on my fish app to feed the fish, anyone who visits the site can do that if they can see the fish.
But best of all, the daily prayer app resounded with me today.
Lord, may I never forget that you love me even when I am unlovable, even when I cannot love myself anymore. You love me not only when I am good, for you love me at all times - ALWAYS.
Because it is so impossible to love myself or see any good in myself after what has happened, I feel permenantly condemned.
So I like that prayer.
That sadness I cannot name
During my time in Jersey I increasingly felt the sadness, not to do with abuse or church, but to do with the way Jersey was going.
Back then I had no 'knowledge' as such, of the Jersey Way and Jersey system, I only had mutterings, right from the start, from others, about bribes to the States to allow building that shouldn't happen, and I saw at least one heerd of Jersey cows being herded down to the ferry to be sold and shipped off Jersey.
But as well as that, as I said in my 'lets go back' post, about my first sight of Jersey, all these buildings! No beauty, just buildings! This was what increasingly upset me, except the cliffs and dunes that they can hardly build on, but they try, Jersey is so built up and dusty, I remember the skipper on one of the boats I was on, describing being out at sea and seeing a coud of pollution rising off Jersey.
This made me sad, and I didn't know how to express it, I knew I loved Jersey, but I also knew that I longed for the green fields and trees of England, Jersey was so dusty and so built up, I tried to express this to my 'adoptive parents' one time 'Mummy, will there still be flowers and green grass in heaven? Or will it be like Jersey?'.
I remember how I used to watch the Christmas videos in December 2008, David Essex's video of 'A winter's tale' and it made me long for the UK and open space. Although that wasn't long after my six-week stay in the UK due to the police and the churchwarden.
One of the reasons I was and am glad to be back in the UK is the green and the beauty of it, although I miss the granite land, I miss the granite cliffs of Jersey.
I am better off back here, even if I cannot feel the joy and enjoyment of the scenery or anything else in life any more, I can only feel despair.
In my 'conversations with an ex-policeman' in 2010, he, a Jerseyman (not Bob Hill), told me more about how bad things were in Jersey, as we happily drank our coffee.
He told me about the building and the bribes and the mess the Island was in.
I have a feeling that Jersey will end up so built up that there will only be the beaches left not built on, until they find a way.
St. Helier and First Tower are so awful, such a shame, especially compared to St. Peter Port, which is pretty, and Guernsey which isn't quite as built up in the same way.
But while in Jersey, I felt sad, because I loved Jersey and intended in the end to stay there, but the thought of 'living in a world without wild flowers and open spaces' was tough. That was the sadness I couldn't name.
This is not to say that there aren't open spaces in Jersey, but what I mean is, there isn''t much left of genuinely natural and peaceful open spaces.Everything is squashing together, and the narrow 'green' lanes' of Jersey always had big cars vehicles roaring along them.
I remember the farmer wondered why the milk production for his Jersey herd was down and eventually discovered rotting food in the water trough, when in the UK, the state of the trough and other things on the farm would have led to prosecution.
It was grim and not so beautiful, what was left of countryside in Jersey.
And the parks?
No offence Jersey Peeps, but I prefer less built up spaces. Jersey as a whole was pretty much a city on an island by the time I left. And has only got worse, too claustrophobic really.
Back then I had no 'knowledge' as such, of the Jersey Way and Jersey system, I only had mutterings, right from the start, from others, about bribes to the States to allow building that shouldn't happen, and I saw at least one heerd of Jersey cows being herded down to the ferry to be sold and shipped off Jersey.
But as well as that, as I said in my 'lets go back' post, about my first sight of Jersey, all these buildings! No beauty, just buildings! This was what increasingly upset me, except the cliffs and dunes that they can hardly build on, but they try, Jersey is so built up and dusty, I remember the skipper on one of the boats I was on, describing being out at sea and seeing a coud of pollution rising off Jersey.
This made me sad, and I didn't know how to express it, I knew I loved Jersey, but I also knew that I longed for the green fields and trees of England, Jersey was so dusty and so built up, I tried to express this to my 'adoptive parents' one time 'Mummy, will there still be flowers and green grass in heaven? Or will it be like Jersey?'.
I remember how I used to watch the Christmas videos in December 2008, David Essex's video of 'A winter's tale' and it made me long for the UK and open space. Although that wasn't long after my six-week stay in the UK due to the police and the churchwarden.
One of the reasons I was and am glad to be back in the UK is the green and the beauty of it, although I miss the granite land, I miss the granite cliffs of Jersey.
I am better off back here, even if I cannot feel the joy and enjoyment of the scenery or anything else in life any more, I can only feel despair.
In my 'conversations with an ex-policeman' in 2010, he, a Jerseyman (not Bob Hill), told me more about how bad things were in Jersey, as we happily drank our coffee.
He told me about the building and the bribes and the mess the Island was in.
I have a feeling that Jersey will end up so built up that there will only be the beaches left not built on, until they find a way.
St. Helier and First Tower are so awful, such a shame, especially compared to St. Peter Port, which is pretty, and Guernsey which isn't quite as built up in the same way.
But while in Jersey, I felt sad, because I loved Jersey and intended in the end to stay there, but the thought of 'living in a world without wild flowers and open spaces' was tough. That was the sadness I couldn't name.
This is not to say that there aren't open spaces in Jersey, but what I mean is, there isn''t much left of genuinely natural and peaceful open spaces.Everything is squashing together, and the narrow 'green' lanes' of Jersey always had big cars vehicles roaring along them.
I remember the farmer wondered why the milk production for his Jersey herd was down and eventually discovered rotting food in the water trough, when in the UK, the state of the trough and other things on the farm would have led to prosecution.
It was grim and not so beautiful, what was left of countryside in Jersey.
No offence Jersey Peeps, but I prefer less built up spaces. Jersey as a whole was pretty much a city on an island by the time I left. And has only got worse, too claustrophobic really.
Anything and everything
Was the reason that the Steel report wasn't published because the Steel report was to stop me going back to Jersey, and I made it quite clear that apart from visits to Jersey -which are too traumatic for me really, I am not going back to live in Jersey.
I can't afford to live in Jersey, I am not fit for work, I need the therapy that I can get in the UK and not in Jersey, and life would be miserable in that small island for me, it would not go back to being a full and happy life. I would go back to being shunned and worse, and having to work out who was connected to who, and basically, with enemies in the Masonic-Judiciary-States-Church clique, I am safer staying here.
Although I am grateful for the offers I have had from Jersey of homes and the invites I have had.
Some people do not understand why I turned these down, but honestly, I am safer here even though it is a tough and painful life here.
Unrelated, but I remember that meeting with Bishop Scott-Joynt and how afterwards, I was exhausted and Jane Fisher kept on and on badgering me for details of the meeting.
I asked her why she couldn't ask the Bishop.
And she said because it was a private meeting.
Basically that meeting was used against me in the Korris report, as if I hasd done something wrong by answering Bishop Scott-joyn't questions, I did not lead that meeting and the witness was conflicted and could be used by the Scott-Joynts and Fisher in any way they liked, but the Bishop led the meeting by asking me questions, he excused the behaviour of the churches in Jersey towards me, claiming it was because they didn't know how to respond to me, which, considering they were shunning me because I reported the churchwarden, was rubbish,
and my anger was in response to the shunning.
However, the Bishop didn't excuse Phil Warren's verbal attack on me entirely, but he did try to change Phil Warren's motives,
but this was too late, after the damage had been done by Jane Fisher excusing Phil Warren,
none of this is mentioned in the Korris report.
I went for prayer and Phil Warren said he had 'heard about what had happened in St. A's'
He turned nasty and aggressive and trapped me in the prayer room and started shouting at me.
When I told him the abuse case was a serious matter and he should not get involved he leaned into my face and accuaed me of 'Threatening him in front of witnesses'.
Which I wasn't.
He implied banning me from his church.
Now this is an example of how the smear campaign are spreading a wrong perception, because I had never done anything to Phil Warren, at all, but he had 'heard' about ST. A's, and thus, along with my past quarrel with his parents' in law, he decided he had ammunition to attack me when I peacefully went for prayer for a friend who was ill.
As you will see in the email that I wrote to him in reply - not abusive, I was horrified by his behaviour. And not only emailed him, but also contacted Jane Fisher.
Jane Fisher rubbished me.
Which contributed to me going mad with distress.
Jane Fisher then claimed that Warren had apologized to me and thus my distress at him 'hearing things about me' and using that to attack me just as others used it to shun me, was irrelevant and not valid.
I had not had a problem with going to the Warrens churches even though I kept my distance from them, for 2 years up until that incident, and had said and done nothing wrong, as my email states.
But then there was not only the problem of Phil Warren 'hearing things' there was also the problem of Jane Fisher attacking me and denying things.
Jane Fisher went on claiming that Warren had not attacked me, he had, he trapped me and was aggressive, with his own 'witnesses'.
Anyway, Philip LeClaire came with me to the church a few times after that and Phil Warren was 'all nice'. He didn't openly attack me again, but undoubtedly continued to be involved negatively.
This was the time when Fisher was spouting on about things 'being in the past' and only hurting me by me dragging them up, and it remains that as with most of her messagages, she didn't make sense or tell me what was in the past but she did injure me by implying that anything was being dragged up by me.
But anyway, Bishop Scott-Joynt, the only good thing he said at that meeting, was that Phil Warren shouldn't have done that and would a personal apology help?
H ealso added that Phil Warren may not have known that what he was doing by trapping me and acting as he did he came accross as aggressive.
I never got a personal apology.
But the point is, ignorant people have accused me of being violent and abusive and making death threats to clergy for years, now this incident was in 2009, and I had never done anything to the Warrens except fall out with the Lihous, which was two-sided and as far as I was concerned was forgiven, forgotten and in the past.
Which the Bishop agreed with.
I did not provoke that clash with the Warrens, Phil Warren did, in 2009, a year before I left Jersey, and although it was not satisfactorily resolved, and me involving Jane Fisher, with all her denials and 'teaching of lessons' made Warren belt up, but also injured me because of Jane Fisher's words and attitude, that caused me to continue to break down.
So, 2009, no provokation, attacked on 'What he heard' and I am the one accused of years of abusive emails etc. 2010, I left Jersey.
The only emails and letters I sent were to people who didn't handle my complaint properly, allowed me to be abused and supported the abuser after the complaint was made and villified me and shunned me, as St. A's villified me to Warren, to get his and his parent's-in-law's support against me.
So who was being unchristian, just me in breaking down into anger and distress and sending bad letters? which did NOT contain death threats!
Or them in villifying me and upholding an abuser, both bad, but the abuse situation should not have been allowed to happen, and should not have been furthered by the villification, or Jane Fisher's denials of it.
I can't afford to live in Jersey, I am not fit for work, I need the therapy that I can get in the UK and not in Jersey, and life would be miserable in that small island for me, it would not go back to being a full and happy life. I would go back to being shunned and worse, and having to work out who was connected to who, and basically, with enemies in the Masonic-Judiciary-States-Church clique, I am safer staying here.
Although I am grateful for the offers I have had from Jersey of homes and the invites I have had.
Some people do not understand why I turned these down, but honestly, I am safer here even though it is a tough and painful life here.
Unrelated, but I remember that meeting with Bishop Scott-Joynt and how afterwards, I was exhausted and Jane Fisher kept on and on badgering me for details of the meeting.
I asked her why she couldn't ask the Bishop.
And she said because it was a private meeting.
Basically that meeting was used against me in the Korris report, as if I hasd done something wrong by answering Bishop Scott-joyn't questions, I did not lead that meeting and the witness was conflicted and could be used by the Scott-Joynts and Fisher in any way they liked, but the Bishop led the meeting by asking me questions, he excused the behaviour of the churches in Jersey towards me, claiming it was because they didn't know how to respond to me, which, considering they were shunning me because I reported the churchwarden, was rubbish,
and my anger was in response to the shunning.
However, the Bishop didn't excuse Phil Warren's verbal attack on me entirely, but he did try to change Phil Warren's motives,
but this was too late, after the damage had been done by Jane Fisher excusing Phil Warren,
none of this is mentioned in the Korris report.
I went for prayer and Phil Warren said he had 'heard about what had happened in St. A's'
He turned nasty and aggressive and trapped me in the prayer room and started shouting at me.
When I told him the abuse case was a serious matter and he should not get involved he leaned into my face and accuaed me of 'Threatening him in front of witnesses'.
Which I wasn't.
He implied banning me from his church.
Now this is an example of how the smear campaign are spreading a wrong perception, because I had never done anything to Phil Warren, at all, but he had 'heard' about ST. A's, and thus, along with my past quarrel with his parents' in law, he decided he had ammunition to attack me when I peacefully went for prayer for a friend who was ill.
As you will see in the email that I wrote to him in reply - not abusive, I was horrified by his behaviour. And not only emailed him, but also contacted Jane Fisher.
Jane Fisher rubbished me.
Which contributed to me going mad with distress.
Jane Fisher then claimed that Warren had apologized to me and thus my distress at him 'hearing things about me' and using that to attack me just as others used it to shun me, was irrelevant and not valid.
I had not had a problem with going to the Warrens churches even though I kept my distance from them, for 2 years up until that incident, and had said and done nothing wrong, as my email states.
But then there was not only the problem of Phil Warren 'hearing things' there was also the problem of Jane Fisher attacking me and denying things.
Jane Fisher went on claiming that Warren had not attacked me, he had, he trapped me and was aggressive, with his own 'witnesses'.
Anyway, Philip LeClaire came with me to the church a few times after that and Phil Warren was 'all nice'. He didn't openly attack me again, but undoubtedly continued to be involved negatively.
This was the time when Fisher was spouting on about things 'being in the past' and only hurting me by me dragging them up, and it remains that as with most of her messagages, she didn't make sense or tell me what was in the past but she did injure me by implying that anything was being dragged up by me.
But anyway, Bishop Scott-Joynt, the only good thing he said at that meeting, was that Phil Warren shouldn't have done that and would a personal apology help?
H ealso added that Phil Warren may not have known that what he was doing by trapping me and acting as he did he came accross as aggressive.
I never got a personal apology.
But the point is, ignorant people have accused me of being violent and abusive and making death threats to clergy for years, now this incident was in 2009, and I had never done anything to the Warrens except fall out with the Lihous, which was two-sided and as far as I was concerned was forgiven, forgotten and in the past.
Which the Bishop agreed with.
I did not provoke that clash with the Warrens, Phil Warren did, in 2009, a year before I left Jersey, and although it was not satisfactorily resolved, and me involving Jane Fisher, with all her denials and 'teaching of lessons' made Warren belt up, but also injured me because of Jane Fisher's words and attitude, that caused me to continue to break down.
So, 2009, no provokation, attacked on 'What he heard' and I am the one accused of years of abusive emails etc. 2010, I left Jersey.
The only emails and letters I sent were to people who didn't handle my complaint properly, allowed me to be abused and supported the abuser after the complaint was made and villified me and shunned me, as St. A's villified me to Warren, to get his and his parent's-in-law's support against me.
So who was being unchristian, just me in breaking down into anger and distress and sending bad letters? which did NOT contain death threats!
Or them in villifying me and upholding an abuser, both bad, but the abuse situation should not have been allowed to happen, and should not have been furthered by the villification, or Jane Fisher's denials of it.
Monday, 17 March 2014
Anything and Everything
Good evening,
I was just watching the blog stats, seeing this blog and 'Life after the Diocese's Stats together, and life after the Diocese's stats read: 9,067
While this blog's stats read: 19,067
Which fascinated me.
Life after the Diocese runs at 20-40 hits a day, while this blog runs at a few hundred a day.
Modest figures but it all adds up, especially considering that this is a heavy and traumatic blog, and it can be hard to get into, understand the wherefores and whys, and hard to keep up with, according to some, as this writing is now my life.
It remains that I am too traumatized and demoralized to share the full Jersey story yet, but as and when I can share bits, like the police email I did earlier, I will.
That Police email shows the incidents that started my steady fall into severe trauma and distress.
http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/the-letter-sent-to-jersey-police.html
Anyway. As most days and nights, I remain on trial and with my side of things unheard, and this is making me ill, I cannot live like this for much longer, so I am pleading the Diocese to launch the final attack with Gladwin, Steel etc.
But a suggestion came in today, based on the Dean's answer in an interview that the move to Dover was not because of fall-out with the Bishop.
The suggestion is because the Diocese face legal letters and action over this debacle, Dover don't, so Dover can publish what they like.
Anyway. Another topic.
I hva efaced further abuses and potential abuses while on the streets and have been alarmed and frightened by attempts to help me, because basically I feel unable to trust due to repeat breaches of my trust by Jane Fisher and the Diocese, and being shunned because of the record Jane Fisher and her Diocese got me.
Basically, I struggle to trust due to a) the abuse in Jersey and further near misses while on the streets
b) the record I have been given and the shame and exclusion it causes
c)My very justified fears that Jane Fisher would come after me and continue to harm me.
To the end now that I can't trust and am isolated.
I think that is enough for tonight.
I wish the day would come when I would be forgiven and be able to get the help I need without struggling, but the reality is that I was finished right back when I was in Jersey, and I doubt anything can heal my life now, I am just waiting for God's mercy.
I was just watching the blog stats, seeing this blog and 'Life after the Diocese's Stats together, and life after the Diocese's stats read: 9,067
While this blog's stats read: 19,067
Which fascinated me.
Life after the Diocese runs at 20-40 hits a day, while this blog runs at a few hundred a day.
Modest figures but it all adds up, especially considering that this is a heavy and traumatic blog, and it can be hard to get into, understand the wherefores and whys, and hard to keep up with, according to some, as this writing is now my life.
It remains that I am too traumatized and demoralized to share the full Jersey story yet, but as and when I can share bits, like the police email I did earlier, I will.
That Police email shows the incidents that started my steady fall into severe trauma and distress.
http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/the-letter-sent-to-jersey-police.html
Anyway. As most days and nights, I remain on trial and with my side of things unheard, and this is making me ill, I cannot live like this for much longer, so I am pleading the Diocese to launch the final attack with Gladwin, Steel etc.
But a suggestion came in today, based on the Dean's answer in an interview that the move to Dover was not because of fall-out with the Bishop.
The suggestion is because the Diocese face legal letters and action over this debacle, Dover don't, so Dover can publish what they like.
Anyway. Another topic.
I hva efaced further abuses and potential abuses while on the streets and have been alarmed and frightened by attempts to help me, because basically I feel unable to trust due to repeat breaches of my trust by Jane Fisher and the Diocese, and being shunned because of the record Jane Fisher and her Diocese got me.
Basically, I struggle to trust due to a) the abuse in Jersey and further near misses while on the streets
b) the record I have been given and the shame and exclusion it causes
c)My very justified fears that Jane Fisher would come after me and continue to harm me.
To the end now that I can't trust and am isolated.
I think that is enough for tonight.
I wish the day would come when I would be forgiven and be able to get the help I need without struggling, but the reality is that I was finished right back when I was in Jersey, and I doubt anything can heal my life now, I am just waiting for God's mercy.
Answers to Questions, who's who part1
Who's Who in Jersey, part 1.
This is quite a tricky and scary series to start, not one I even want to do, but in the the recent fun quizzes of who's who, the Church of England were lost, last and least, and it took some Jersey people time to work out who the Grandmaster freemason-churchman-relative of my abuser-musician was.
So I thought this should be the starting point for outsiders on who's who in the Channel Island of Jersey, where they speak English but are not part of the UK, and thus have their own government and laws that allowed the Dean to be let off and run a smear campaign against me with a bit of help from his friends.
Here's who does what in the states of Jersey:
http://www.statesassembly.gov.je/about/MembersMeetingsProceedings/Pages/AboutMembers.aspx
Here's Jersey's law site:
http://www.jerseylaw.je/home/usefullinks/default.aspx
Although Jersey law is explainable in a few words, one law for one group and one for the rest.
This is quite a tricky and scary series to start, not one I even want to do, but in the the recent fun quizzes of who's who, the Church of England were lost, last and least, and it took some Jersey people time to work out who the Grandmaster freemason-churchman-relative of my abuser-musician was.
So I thought this should be the starting point for outsiders on who's who in the Channel Island of Jersey, where they speak English but are not part of the UK, and thus have their own government and laws that allowed the Dean to be let off and run a smear campaign against me with a bit of help from his friends.
Here's who does what in the states of Jersey:
http://www.statesassembly.gov.je/about/MembersMeetingsProceedings/Pages/AboutMembers.aspx
Here's Jersey's law site:
http://www.jerseylaw.je/home/usefullinks/default.aspx
Although Jersey law is explainable in a few words, one law for one group and one for the rest.
NOT Duty of Care
Jane Fisher's incessant interference behind my back and without my consent led to me abandoning and mistrusting help and support services and also being shunned.
One of the services she interfered in was autism Jersey, even though I told Philip LeClaire expressly not to communicate with her or be a go-between.
Her interference meant I did not trust Philip at all, especially after what had already occured, see my letter to the police complaints department a few posts ago.
It is incorrectly claimed I kicked up a fuss at autism Jersey when Philip told me about the 'Chaperoning policy' that the churchwarden was supposed to be under.
This is rubbish.
It is rubbish because I told Philip he was not to tell me what the Diocese said, and he was not to act as go-between, and he never did tell me what they said, but he claimed, incorrectly, that they had removed the churchwarden from his position, that is all he said when I told him not to upset me again by repeating anything Fisher said back to me.
Because by then Jane Fisher was just a severe trauma to me.
She still is.
Jane Fisher tried to use Philip to get a meeting with me, just as she tried to use Tracy.
She was told NO and told not to use people.
After all, she hadn't dealt with my complaints and had rubbished me and allowed me to be harmed and coldly told me that what happened did not.
One of the services she interfered in was autism Jersey, even though I told Philip LeClaire expressly not to communicate with her or be a go-between.
Her interference meant I did not trust Philip at all, especially after what had already occured, see my letter to the police complaints department a few posts ago.
It is incorrectly claimed I kicked up a fuss at autism Jersey when Philip told me about the 'Chaperoning policy' that the churchwarden was supposed to be under.
This is rubbish.
It is rubbish because I told Philip he was not to tell me what the Diocese said, and he was not to act as go-between, and he never did tell me what they said, but he claimed, incorrectly, that they had removed the churchwarden from his position, that is all he said when I told him not to upset me again by repeating anything Fisher said back to me.
Because by then Jane Fisher was just a severe trauma to me.
She still is.
Jane Fisher tried to use Philip to get a meeting with me, just as she tried to use Tracy.
She was told NO and told not to use people.
After all, she hadn't dealt with my complaints and had rubbished me and allowed me to be harmed and coldly told me that what happened did not.
In the past
Jane Fisher used to go on about things being in the past and people having moved on.
She, as ever, never explained herself.
But what is so paradoxical is, the Jersey matter should have been in the past, even though it was still traumatizing me.
And Jane Fisher went and dragged the dirty entrails of it back up, with Tim Dakin's figureheading, she dragged me back through my perceived sins publicly, what had happened years ago, and allowed people who had never met me to condemn me.
And she's a safeguarding director?!
She, as ever, never explained herself.
But what is so paradoxical is, the Jersey matter should have been in the past, even though it was still traumatizing me.
And Jane Fisher went and dragged the dirty entrails of it back up, with Tim Dakin's figureheading, she dragged me back through my perceived sins publicly, what had happened years ago, and allowed people who had never met me to condemn me.
And she's a safeguarding director?!
Accountable?
Never mind the haters who accuse me of being mad, bad and an abuser, they are not people who were put in the terrible situation that I was, traumatized already, regressed and abused, told I had found my 'God-sent family' that I had prayed for, and left abandoned and abused and blamed, treated terribly by the police and left shunned in a small community where my abuser had the right connections, treated terribly by the Dean and Diocese and told all along that I was at fault.
Wouldn't it send anyone mad? And on top of that, autism, poverty, terrible lodgings situations and not knowing who was connected to the abuser and thus meeting nasty surprises when looking for help.
Why was I put in that situation in the first place, when the Church knew enough to claim to have a chaperoning policy, but didn't, obviously, because the man cuddled and touched me at church, with people around.
The Vicar and his wife allowed me to be taken home by this man, after he had often spent time alone with me, sailing and at his work's warehouse, etc, and he was allowed to take me away from the church on walks as soon as he had met me, although while in church, the Vicar's wife came over and the churchwarden said she was 'coming to keep an eye on him', he then took me away from church on a walk.
Basically the church let him do as he was doing, and he discussed me behind my back in a detrimental way with the Vicar and his wife, which prompted an angry - not abusive - letter in response.
But by then the Vicar and his wife, since I caught them out lying about New Wine, for which they didn't apologize, and since I went to them on Air Display Day when the churchwarden was cuddling me and saying that people in church were talking about him and me, ignored me, but talked about me.
That incident on Air Display Day was one of many when the churchwarden would cuddle me and cheerfully tell me that people were talking about him and me. It always hurt me so much, and when I went to the Vicar and his wife, they did not tell me that this man was under a chaperoning policy, they did not say they were concerned, they said that it was usually a few people who were talking like this and they would deal with it.
Later the churchwarden said he had spoken to the Vicar and his wife and told them that everything was alright.
But it wasn't and he was allowed to cover up for himself and his 'punishing of me' for what he was doing, but telling me people were talking.
It was emotionally harmful.
But basically, the Church allowed that situation to occur, where a man known for misconduct was allowed to create a situation where he could abuse me, and he was supported while he brought othewr people into the matter to build up a defence of condemnation against me.
It remains that nothing has been done by the Church about me being destroyed, for which Jane Fisher always blamed me, and nothing has been done by the Church about the Churchwarden.
Wouldn't it send anyone mad? And on top of that, autism, poverty, terrible lodgings situations and not knowing who was connected to the abuser and thus meeting nasty surprises when looking for help.
Why was I put in that situation in the first place, when the Church knew enough to claim to have a chaperoning policy, but didn't, obviously, because the man cuddled and touched me at church, with people around.
The Vicar and his wife allowed me to be taken home by this man, after he had often spent time alone with me, sailing and at his work's warehouse, etc, and he was allowed to take me away from the church on walks as soon as he had met me, although while in church, the Vicar's wife came over and the churchwarden said she was 'coming to keep an eye on him', he then took me away from church on a walk.
Basically the church let him do as he was doing, and he discussed me behind my back in a detrimental way with the Vicar and his wife, which prompted an angry - not abusive - letter in response.
But by then the Vicar and his wife, since I caught them out lying about New Wine, for which they didn't apologize, and since I went to them on Air Display Day when the churchwarden was cuddling me and saying that people in church were talking about him and me, ignored me, but talked about me.
That incident on Air Display Day was one of many when the churchwarden would cuddle me and cheerfully tell me that people were talking about him and me. It always hurt me so much, and when I went to the Vicar and his wife, they did not tell me that this man was under a chaperoning policy, they did not say they were concerned, they said that it was usually a few people who were talking like this and they would deal with it.
Later the churchwarden said he had spoken to the Vicar and his wife and told them that everything was alright.
But it wasn't and he was allowed to cover up for himself and his 'punishing of me' for what he was doing, but telling me people were talking.
It was emotionally harmful.
But basically, the Church allowed that situation to occur, where a man known for misconduct was allowed to create a situation where he could abuse me, and he was supported while he brought othewr people into the matter to build up a defence of condemnation against me.
It remains that nothing has been done by the Church about me being destroyed, for which Jane Fisher always blamed me, and nothing has been done by the Church about the Churchwarden.
The letter sent to Jersey police complaints department 13/02/09
If anyone wonders why I went mad, this is why. The incidents described in this letter below this paragraph. To me, being regressed and abused and thrown away, being told the police results in an email and being immediately brutalized and locked up - very deliberately omitted from the Korris report, which goes on about the police sending me a 'nice letter' which I never got, this, regressed to childhood, left back in my original childhood and some of the blank horror of what I went through then, and left abused and abandoned by EY and his wife who had always belittled me. Brutalized by police and shunned in the community, Philip LeClaire publicizing the brutality after playing a part in having me captured by police and trying to make out he was not part of that.
Bob Hill wonders why I don't trust, why I don't like people going behind my back.
I suffered severe Post Traumatic Stress as a result of the detention and brutalization the day the police let my abuse go, they used force, just as they always have because of my terror, and they locked me in a cell and were rude and insulting to me, for the crime of reporting an abuser.
I didn't recover, and this is when I stopped coping, stopped coping with Jane Fisher's nonsense, stopped coping with my abuser laughing when he saw me while he remained in church positions, stopped coping with Philip, with being shunned for reporting the man I reported, stopped coping with what was a horrible and hopeless situation, from which I didn't and can't recover.
** **** ******* ****
** ******
JE* ***
Email: ********@hotmail.co.uk
13/02/09
Police Complaints Department
Jersey
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am not at all sure if I should be writing to the police complaints department with my queries, but the DC who dealt with a complaint that I made seems unable to deal with my queries and concerns and seems more concerned with protecting my abuser. I am unwilling to contact the police again as I am afraid of them because of their treatment of me.
I am autistic, and am much more able to write than speak, I am making these queries entirely on my own.
I made a complaint to the police last year, with a bit of prompting, the complaint was about a man called Mr.******, Mr.****** is a churchwarden at St. A’s church at **** ******, Mr.****** decided to ‘adopt’ me as his daughter very shortly after meeting me, I believed that Mr.****** was trustworthy as he professed to be a Christian, but Mr ***** subjected me to unwelcome sexual advances and emotional torture, he was very careful in doing so, and made sure that I felt ‘to blame’ for my reactions to his treatment, and for a long time I took the blame.
Mr ****** told me that ‘God had told him to take me as a daughter’ and because of my faith I believed that my prayers for somewhere to belong were answered, I tried to cope with the increasing distress Mr.****** was causing me, and eventually had to tell his wife, who had never wanted a disabled ‘adoptive daughter’, I was brought into their family by her husband, for his own reasons, so I was thrown out of the family, with Mr.****** denying doing anything wrong, his wife despised me from the start, and when he heard I was making a complaint, he had the arrogance to phone an older friend of mine in order to try to get her to ‘shut me up’, she is not a good person to deal with abuse, despite being a priest, but she told him he had done wrong when he explained to her that he was trying to ‘help me’ by ‘breaking through my sexual barriers in order to cure my sexual problems’, I do not have significant sexual problems, my main problems are autism and trauma.
The matter was brought to the police, someone went with me to the police, there was a very helpful DC who’s name I cannot recall, he had shirt sleeves and a big grin, he seemed very prepared to deal with the matter. But then the matter was passed on to DC Hare, who I do not understand, and I do not understand the way he dealt with the matter or explained/didn’t explain it.
DC Hare interviewed Mr.******, he then contacted me by email with the results of the complaint, which didn’t make sense and still doesn’t. It seems to read that they ‘let poor Mr ****** off because there wasn’t enough evidence, and poor mr ****** had been under so much pressure due to the complaint that he wouldn’t do it again’. Mr ****** could not give a damn about what he has done, he has called me a liar since and has gone on with his life, he was sacked from his previous church for misconduct but he happily told me that they were mistaken, he refuses to take responsibility for his actions, and while he was abusing me he told me about how he talked sex to girls on his evangelising walk, he has not taken any responsibility for what he has done.
DC Hare told me that Mr.****** ‘admitted to most of the things I said? But said he was doing it to help me), therefore they could not prosecute Mr.******. I do not understand this, is it legal in Jersey to force sexual contact in order to help someone? I did not understand the results , originally sent by email. I think what Mr ****** has done is wrong, but he appears to Have gained DC Hare’s sympathy. DC Hare said it was ‘on Mr.******’s record’, but I also did not understand what that meant. DC Hare was also aware that I have difficulty using a telephone, he said in his email that I could ‘phone him if I had any queries’.
If Mr ****** admitted to anything sexual, and DC Hare never explained what Mr ****** did or didn’t admit to, then why can no further action be taken? DC Hare is obviously not willing to take further action even though I have asked. DC Hare has ignored my requests for further action or explanation, and I am afraid of DC Hare because he got me locked up.
When I received the unhelpful results of my complaint by email from DC Hare, I apparently threatened suicide, I am somewhat confused about this, but to cut a long story short I was seized by the police and locked up, I am told that this was for my own welfare, but I can see no evidence of that, DC Hare omitted to tell the police that I was autistic, dislike having my arms touched and need an appropriate adult at the police station.
Though I was very tired and ill and unable to run, and not trying to run, and was also trapped between two police officers and two cars, I was taken hold of by the upper arms, it was specifically mentioned in my statements to the police about Mr.****** that I have an extreme dislike of my upper arms being touched, because Mr ****** forced ‘therapy’ on me including constant touch of my upper arms, DC Hare, who apparently sent these officers out of ‘duty of care’ hadn’t bothered to tell the officers that he sent that I was autistic, disliked touch, and needed an appropriate adult, the officer, PC O’Brian, refused to let go of my arms even though I couldn’t run anywhere, I was panicking, I cannot begin to describe the severity of this panic to you, O’Brian said if he let go of my arm he would have to handcuff me (for the crime of reporting my abuser?), I said ‘handcuff me, let go of my arm’, he refused to do so, and I continued to panic with this nasty police officer gripping my arm when I had not commited a crime. It was only when my landlord stepped in and persuaded the officer to let go of me that he did, they then took me to the police station, they prepared to search me but I wouldn’t let them, I was absolutely out of my mind with terror. I told them not to lock me up because I suffer with claustrophobia? It means terror of enclosed spaces, they locked me up and I had a severe and prolonged panic attack, then they sent me to see a doctor who I didn’t understand and then they sent me home, no appropriate adult was present even though DC Hare was aware of my disability, and I was confused and distressed, I was shaking in severe shock and very much awake in the early hours of the next morning and the trauma of this on top of being abused by people who should have been safe, having to make a complaint, and feeling that DC Hare sympathises with Mr and MRs ******, who made my life living hell, has left me severely distressed, being ‘locked up for the crime of reporting my abusers’ did nothing for my welfare.
I still have nightmares of being on that police station floor struggling to breathe.
There was no follow up on that nasty incident. I have been left to ‘commit suicide as I please’ and I believe that if I had not been exhausted after that police incident I would have taken my own life because of how I was treated, it is incredibly cruel and twisted that the DC got me locked up and punished, while my abuser is walking around calling me a liar and has laughed the whole matter off, and he really has called me a liar.
And now my abuser is aware of me being locked up due to Phillip LeClaire publishing it in an article, it no doubt gave the ******s a good laugh to hear how I was locked up for their crime.
DC Hare offered to meet with me to ‘discuss the matter’, I was persuaded by Phillip LeClaire to attend a meeting, at short notice, though I said I was ill and couldn’t cope, I attended the meeting, but the primary aim of the meeting seemed to for DC Hare to act as a mouthpiece for the ******s to ‘shut me up’ , as I had not understood DC Hare’s email of the results of the complaint, I thought Mr ****** had simply walked away laughing, and as Mr.****** was calling me a liar, that seemed to be the case, so I had continued to tell Mr.****** off myself, he has never apologised or taken any responsibility, DC Hare ‘warned me’ that ‘people would think I was bad’ if I continued to deal with ****** myself, I felt intimidated and was afraid of being arrested again, so I was all agreement, ‘oh yes, I will behave myself, don’t lock me up for my abuser’s crimes again’. Mr ****** had phoned DC Hare, who should have dealt with Mr.******, and ‘told him I was verbally attacking him in the street.’ Mr ******’s arrogance in doing that, phoning the officer who was supposed to deal with him abusing me, and DC Hare actually trying to shut me up on ******’s behalf seems incredibly wrong.
Why was Mr ****** allowed to ask the DC who should have taken action against him to shut me up? I want something done about Mr.******, I am certain from things that he and his wife said, that he has abused before, and will again, he is very clever, hence me being punished for his crimes, and will get round the tiny mark on his CRB check, which has in big letters next to it ‘his victim is trouble’.
I will shut up when something has been done about my abuser. I don’t think it’s fair if it has been recorded on my CRB check instead.
DC Hare said that what ****** did was bad but not criminal (so I am being told that sexual assault is not criminal on a disabled person?), and I am the one in danger of a criminal record, why? I am being told that Mr.****** adopting me to Abuse me, damaging me and letting me bear his wife’s fury, and throwing me away when I spoke up is my fault and the police couldn’t care less.
I was also not happy with Mr. LeClaire discussing things about me with DC Hare without my permission, but that is Mr. LeClaire’s fault. He works for Autism Jersey and wants to be on good terms with the police, hence his backing DC Hare and reference to the police being marvellous in his article where he talked about me in the paper against my wishes, that article was also without my permission and against my will, but that is Mr. LeClaire’s fault, I am in support of Mr. LeClaire’s marvellous advocacy of autistic people, but confused about some things he does.
DC Hare hasn’t clarified some things and I was too intimidated by the meeting, what did ****** admit to? If he admitted to sexual things, why are they not criminal? If he didn’t, he still did all those things, why does DC Hare believe ****** over me and stand up for him? If ****** admitted to doing some of those things to help me, why is that believed? I feel that Mr.****** set up a situation where he could get gratification from me. Mr ****** continues in his role as church officer and works with young mothers and Yacht club cadets, he has taken no responsibility for what he has done to me, he and his wife have left me devastated. Mr ******’s excuse of doing things to ‘help me’ is made very believable by his demeanour, but it could not possibly be true, I know from living with him as his daughter that he is very sexual and has a huge problem with boundaries.
I don’t expect you to understand this, but my faith in God was central to my life, it has been destroyed by the ******s, I wanted to belong to a family, Mr ****** called me his ‘daughter’ and then I was thrown away when I started to speak up and Mr ****** denied everything, these things have hurt me more than anyone can imagine, my background was from poverty and abuse, violence and neglect, but I lived on faith and hope, that has been taken from me by these things and I have been left devastated by these things.
I don’t understand the results of my complaint, I feel that I have been called a liar, I have been traumatised and devastated, my abuser has walked away calling me a liar, the police are on his side and I expect to be arrested again and treated brutally for standing up for myself.
DC Hare did explain at the meeting that it is on Mr.******’s CRB check in the ‘greyline’ because what Mr.****** did was ‘bad but not criminal’I don’t understand what this means, does this mean it’s ok for Mr.****** to abuse because he has friends in the police? I am also concerned what this has done to my CRB check because the police are hostile to me, why is my abuser walking around laughing and calling me a liar? Lying about something like that would be horrific for me, being called a liar of something like this is horrific, I am the one suffering massively for this, for the crime of reporting my abuser, I am the one who was locked up and had my arms and brain hurt, why am I the one in massive trouble and why was I arrested for my abusers crimes?
My continued concern and request for further action has been totally ignored by DC Hare, and since I couldn’t understand his explanation of all this, I asked him for someone who could, and the address of the police complaints department, that was also ignored.
I also remain confused about being told firstly there was not enough evidence to prosecute Mr.******, then being told that he had admitted to a lot of things but because he ‘did them to help me’ it was bad not criminal’, I was not told what he admitted to, but probably not the more serious sexual things, but if he admitted to anything, why is he walking around laughing and calling me a liar while I am still suffering? I really want something done.
I have done my best to protect other vulnerable people, I do not expect to be arrested for it, but I wouldn’t be surprised.`
I am not Jersey born, I know about Haute de LA Garenne, is this just normal Jersey justice? Should I pipe down and wait for the police to think of another excuse to thrash me for being autistic yet speaking up about being mistreated? Am I going to be named and shamed in the paper?
Can you help me with my concerns please?
Sincerely,
****** ******
Other People's perspectives - VoiceforChildren
VoiceforChildren:
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/bob-key-and-jersey-way.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-jersey-establishment-closes-ranks.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/bob-key-support-and-recognised-formula.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/senator-philip-bailhache-letter-to.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/open-letter-to-bishop-of-winchester-tim.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/dean-reinstated-press-release-from.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/business-as-usualthe-jersey-way.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/philip-bailhache-independenceagenda.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/senator-philip-bailhache-grouville.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/exonerated.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/bob-key-and-jersey-way.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/the-jersey-establishment-closes-ranks.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/bob-key-support-and-recognised-formula.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/03/senator-philip-bailhache-letter-to.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/open-letter-to-bishop-of-winchester-tim.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/04/dean-reinstated-press-release-from.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/business-as-usualthe-jersey-way.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/05/philip-bailhache-independenceagenda.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/senator-philip-bailhache-grouville.html
http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/exonerated.html
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