Anything and Everything

Good evening,
I was just watching the blog stats, seeing this blog and 'Life after the Diocese's Stats together, and life after the Diocese's stats read:    9,067
While this blog's stats read:     19,067

Which fascinated me.

Life after the Diocese runs at 20-40 hits a day, while this blog runs at a few hundred a day.
Modest figures but it all adds up, especially considering that this is a heavy and traumatic blog, and it can be hard to get into, understand the wherefores and whys, and hard to keep up with, according to some, as this writing is now my life.

It remains that I am too traumatized and demoralized to share the full Jersey story yet, but as and when I can share bits, like the police email I did earlier, I will.
That Police email shows the incidents that started my steady fall into severe trauma and distress.

http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/the-letter-sent-to-jersey-police.html

Anyway. As most days and nights, I remain on trial and with my side of things unheard, and this is making me ill, I cannot live like this for much longer, so I am pleading the Diocese to launch the final attack with Gladwin, Steel etc.

But a suggestion came in today, based on the Dean's answer in an interview that the move to Dover was not because of fall-out with the Bishop.
The suggestion is because the Diocese face legal letters and action over this debacle, Dover don't, so Dover can publish what they like.


Anyway. Another topic.
I hva efaced further abuses and potential abuses while on the streets and have been alarmed and frightened by attempts to help me, because basically I feel unable to trust due to repeat breaches of my trust by Jane Fisher and the Diocese, and being shunned because of the record Jane Fisher and her Diocese got me.
Basically, I struggle to trust due to a) the abuse in Jersey and further near misses while on the streets
b) the record I have been given and the shame and exclusion it causes
c)My very justified fears that Jane Fisher would come after me and continue to harm me.

To the end now that I can't trust and am isolated.

I think that is enough for tonight.
I wish the day would come when I would be forgiven and be able to get the help I need without struggling, but the reality is that I was finished right back when I was in Jersey, and I doubt anything can heal my life now, I am just waiting for God's mercy.