Here are random thoughts, apparently the Diocese of Winchester wasted nearly half a million pounds damaging lives, especially mine, and yet in the end they apparently tried to palm me off to the NSPCC, which would have cost them nothing?! Cheapskate! They could have given me some of that half a million to live on, seeing as I am ruined and will be unlikely to get out of poverty in the remainder of my crippled life, and the NSPCC is entirely inappropriate, they are, sketchily, there to help children who are being abused, in theory, and have none of the resources to deal with a severely traumatized and displaced adult, but I guess that because the Diocese wouldn't have to pay them, as they are a charity, that is why the Diocese tried to palm me off on them after wasting half a million pounds.
The most frustrating thing is that the Diocese have got away with all this appalling mess, and no-one is holding them to account, Archbishop Wonga has not only allowed but condoned the damage, the Queen and Prime Minister are not interested, and so the Diocese have got away with flaying me and wrecking the rebuild of my life and leaving me profoundly damaged on top of the previous unhealed damage.
NSPCC?! HA!
Saturday, 28 December 2013
You rabble gotta behave now, we have a VIP viewing the blog :)
I however, am allowed to poke my tongue out at the Bishop if I so wish :p
We had Bishops on this blog today, so it needs fumigating.
What is Bishop Tim reading my blog for? ominous.
I think he got the wrong post. Bish, try the more recent ones.
Ah, the reason uncle Tim started on that letter post was that was what he was given the link to, a long time ago.
He is slow.
But if he tries to have this blog taken down, the response will be very spectacular and public, cos the Church of England does not own the press in the UK! Bring it on, Tim, this blog is saved by a number of people and you will cause uproar if you have me battered and locked up again for writing my truth after having to hear your untruths in the press!
I however, am allowed to poke my tongue out at the Bishop if I so wish :p
We had Bishops on this blog today, so it needs fumigating.
What is Bishop Tim reading my blog for? ominous.
I think he got the wrong post. Bish, try the more recent ones.
Ah, the reason uncle Tim started on that letter post was that was what he was given the link to, a long time ago.
He is slow.
But if he tries to have this blog taken down, the response will be very spectacular and public, cos the Church of England does not own the press in the UK! Bring it on, Tim, this blog is saved by a number of people and you will cause uproar if you have me battered and locked up again for writing my truth after having to hear your untruths in the press!
Friday, 27 December 2013
That Christmas -Jersey
The previous two Christmases had been sad, but that Christmas in Jersey ruined the magic of Christmas for me, right up to this Christmas, when unexpectedly and so soon after the nine months of hell from the Diocese, I have just had one of the best Christmases of my life.
Christmas in Jersey.
It could have been so different, it is very sad. I could have been on the mainland and had a good Christmas.
This is so hard to write.
The Korris report mentions the sexual abuse but never the emotional abuse.
A memory that frequently comes back to me is walking through St. Helier with the Church Warden, who called himself my 'Daddy', we were Christmas shopping.
Daddy was holding my hand as we walked, he often held my hand, and this was entirely his idea, he would hold out his hand for my hand, and he would walk with me, he called himself my 'Daddy' and called me his 'little daughter', regressing me to childhood.
Anyway, as we walked, he held my hand, but he kept snatching his hand away when he thought people 'were looking', which is what he did throughout our time together.
It hurt, it wounded me, because I fell for the innocent Daddy/Daughter thing, and a daddy does not hold his daughter's hand and then snatch his hand away and go on about 'people looking', even if no-one is looking, it was psychologically harmful.
I know that may not make sense to many people, you have to live through it to really understand it, and few people have been 'adopted' and then regressed to childhood and suffered such confusing wounding.
Anyway, it is eternally sad to remember how that Christmas could have been different.
JM, my friend, the Vicar who betrayed me in supporting both her abusive husband and the churchwarden in Jersey against me, and making me out to be a lying nymphomaniac, was still my friend at the time, despite having denied her husband's abuse of me, and blaming me, which left a permenant rift between us, but we were still good friends, and Juliet invited me over to spend Christmas with them that year, while all my friends were asking if I would come over (those friends who have been taken from me as a result of the Diocese), but the churchwarden, 'Daddy', wanted me to stay on the Island with him and his wife for Christmas.
I was concerned that 'Mummy', as he made me call her, was agreeing with him but did not seem enthusiastic, I kept asking if it was really alright? And in the end, I agreed to spend Christmas with 'Mummy and Daddy' in Jersey.
So, in order to even things out, I went to Hampshire for a pre-Christmas visit, to see everyone and give them Christmas gifts and cards.
Looking back on that makes me sad, because the Diocese have wiped out all those friendships by giving their side of things to everyone and parading me as mad and bad.
Anyway, I had a lovely pre-Christmas visit, and was just sad to miss the Christmas eve party at my friends' and the Christmas I could have had with JM, having had a lovely Christmas with her and her family some years earlier.
So I returned to Jersey for Christmas.
And it was one of the most soul-destroying Christmases.
I will never forget that Christmas eve, I was lied to.
The Churchwarden's wife told me that they were going to 'run a few errands', it was Christmas eve evening, they went out to a party that I was not invited to, and were out until very late night, running errands and going to a party and lying about it is not the same thing, and I was devastated. Already it was a very sad and upsetting Christmas. Because I knew I had been lied to, I knew where they were, I went to check. And I went down to the beach and cried.
Because the churchwarden always said I was their adoptive daughter, and yet, I was not part of their family publicly, they avoided telling anyone about that, including the people who's party they went to with their son.
By the time they got back, very late, I had spent Christmas eve alone and had been lied to, and it was very sad, and I told them I knew, and didn't get a very coherent response. As was always the case, the churchwarden's wife was always happy to slate me, but never to take responsibility. She really was put in a bad situation by her husband, as she did not want me, and she was made to be my 'mummy' by him, I never liked her either, and I should have know how to see it was not a health situation, especially after she called me a burden. But the churchwarden seemed to like the tension and he deliberately stirred it up and caused conflict between her and me.
Anyway. So, it was a miserable Christmas eve spent on my own, and then midnight mass at that awful church with the churchwarden.
But the Christmas Day took the magic out of Christmas, because even up to then I saw Christmas as a magical time, and then I saw Christmas through the eyes of people who only saw it as a nuisance because they already had everything, and I was rejected in front of everyone by the churchwarden's wife that day.
So Christmas Day was another dreary morning at that church, this time with the churchwarden's wife and son, who hadn't come to midnight mass with us.
Afterwards we went to the Churchwarden's brother's house, there was no present opening either before or after church or at the churchwarden's brother's house, it appeared that that had been forgotten in their version of Christmas, it was so sad.
But when we got to the Churchwarden's brother's house, I got the impression that Christmas was a nuisance to such people, who's wealth meant it was Christmas every day, and there was no joy, no happiness, it was kind of funeral like in a way.
It was decorated for Christmas, as far as I remember, decorations on those sweeping staircases up to the landing. Very grand.
But it wasn't Christmas there.
The Churchwarden's brother had a teenage son from his second marriage, who was a Victoria college student, of course, because all the males in the family were. The Son was obviously not keen on it being Christmas, or joining the family for the polite and awkward social chat, he wanted to play his computer games, it was just another day.
The churchwarden's brother, who's name was John, had a daughter from his first marriage, who was over from London, and she was a lawyer. I remember the churchwarden's son introducing her to me as his cousin, it reminded me sharply of how I was not really part of the family.
The churchwarden had said to me over and over again in the run up to Christmas, and that day, that I would be there as part of the family, but I obviously wasn't.
The Churchwarden stayed close to me all the time, he didn't seem to be enjoying himself, he was very quiet indeed, which was unusual for him, and even at the time, I was puzzled and did not know what was wrong with him, it remains a puzzle, he was not his loud and laughing self, he did not seem to like being there, he sat quietly, holding my hand when no-one was looking and keeping me with him, and it remains that I never knew him to visit his brother and family or phone them or speak of them in all the time I knew him, his wife did visit them, but he did not, and they never phoned. It is a sharp and spooky memory of his silence that Christmas Day that remains with me.
There was no real Christmas in that Christmas, we did have a big Christmas meal, and the Churchwarden continued to stay close to me.
After that we kind of sat somewhere, it seemed crowded and it was not a normal lounge, it seemed crowded when there was so much space in the other rooms.
It was awful, the Churchwarden's wife made it quite clear in front of everyone that I was not family but someone they took pity on, after the Churchwarden had said I was part of the family and would be on Christmas Day.
Someone came to join the 'Party', us sitting there like lemons, and the churchwarden's wife told the newcomer that I was someone from church that they had taken pity on.
(ie I was not the adoptive daughter that her husband said I was, and her tone said I was an unwelcome 'burden' as she had referred to me before).
I had had enough of being cramped and squashed and 'taken pity on', so I escaped this cramped pointless huddle in this room where were just kind of sitting, and I went outside, it was getting dark now, and my car, which I had driven up in as requested, was blocked in.
So I decided to go for a walk.
I walked in the dark, and I cried, because being family/not family was so very very painful, the churchwarden always told me I was family and that he was 'Daddy' and his wife was 'Mummy', his wife did not like being Mummy and was always carefully trying to cut me out and get rid of me, but Daddy was dominant and he said I was his daughter, and he regressed me to childhood and sat me on his knees, but the outside world and their own family did not know I was 'daughter' and they omitted it from their 'Christmas Newsletter', although, without my permission, they did put me and a photo of me with him in the newsletter, as a new friend or something, I always think that people who do Christmas Newsletters are very arrogant anyway.
Anyway, I kept walking, and crying, because it had been a dreadful day, not Christmas at all, no presents, no happiness and joy, no goodies, nothing apart from the meal, not even a decent church service - I was already looking for a new church anyway.
It was a Christmas with a family who simply endured Christmas rather than enjoying it, they had everything, and I was a burden. I walked up to the North Coast, looked at the stars and cried because I could have enjoyed Christmas on the mainland with my old friends.
I fell as I walked, my weak leg gave way and I went over, which made it all worse.
I went back, my car was no longer blocked in, and I drove back down the hill and to the churchwarden's house, where I was staying at the time, he had told me not to lock myself in my room but I did, and I went to bed.
My phone rang and I was sleepy so I didn't answer it, I slept, and I woke the next morning.
The next morning the churchwarden was knocking on my door and demanding that I came out so he could hug me, yes, that is what he was like, I told him it would be rude for him to hug me because I was still in my pyjamas.
But he persuaded me out and hugged me and hugged me and kissed me and told me he had come after me and tried to find me and had phoned me to ask me to come back for tea.
I didn't belong with his family, an object of pity, and I could never have gone back and endured more, it had been an awful day.
Anyway, it never got any better, that Christmas took some of my innocent joy away, I did not know that people saw Christmas as a nuisance and an endurance, even in all my Christmases as a young adult, my friends and I enjoyed Christmas and the run up to it. I guess it was like finding out Santa Clus isn't real, only I don't remember that.
I think it was boxing day that we actually started unwrapping presents, I had plenty of presents from those (now gone) friends in Hampshire, I don't remember much except a bone china mug with a £20 note in it from my friend who always did me a 'teapot' when I went to see her.
But I do remember how sad it all was, 'Daddy' wasn't even in the room while we did presents, he spent most of his life alone in his office, but would call me to him if I walked past, and would sit me on his knees.
Anyway, Daddy was not there, and I was happily opening my presents and making a fuss, because that is what you do at Christmas, even if it is a day late, but then it was bad again, because this is when 'Mummy' decided to present her son with some family heirloom because he decided to marry the woman he was sleeping with at long last.
I felt that I was kind of in the way of a private moment, so I stopped making a fuss over my presents and went into the kitchen for a cup of tea, because I don't know the rules but that was a private moment and I didn't belong.
But then Daddy came in and asked my why I had left my presents? And I told him I was intruding, so he sat with me in the kitchen.
Oh, what an awful Christmas.
The Churchwarden, to his credit, did try to make it a happy Christmas for me,while I was away in Hampshire, he even put decorations and presents in my room, labelled 'Daughter', but his wife was quite clear long before Christmas, that I was a burden, which broke my heart, and she made Christmas awfully sad for me. And that Christmas haunted me for many years, even until this year, when I had such a healing and lovely Christmas.
In the days after Christmas, 'Daddy' and I sat doing a puzzle in the 'dining room', he was very loving and affectionate and close, sitting me on his knees, stroking and kissing and being very close, like a lover, even though his wife was often only in the kitchen.
And actually one of the reasons I thought it was ok was that she was nearby through that.
I believe he was trying to make up for Christmas, but he was too close to the boundaries.
After Christmas I crashed into severe depression, which the Doctor diagnosed as a virus, and despite saying it was a virus, he put me on antibiotics.
I didn't really recover in my time in Jersey, and it looked like a return of the M.E. I had had a few years previously that I had overcome.
I remember 'Mummy' coming home and seeing me sitting there and saying 'don't beat yourself up', which, even when I translated that into neurotypical, I never understood.
She refused to let anyone discuss Christmas ever again, but was quite happy to discuss my faults.
She did, for some reason, take me back to the brother's house just after Christmas, and left me alone with the brother and his wife, I can only guess, but I think I was supposed to apologize for walking out.
The reality of how Money can't buy happiness is all there in this account of that Christmas, joy and innocence cannot easily be bought but can be taken away very easily.
Christmas in Jersey.
It could have been so different, it is very sad. I could have been on the mainland and had a good Christmas.
This is so hard to write.
The Korris report mentions the sexual abuse but never the emotional abuse.
A memory that frequently comes back to me is walking through St. Helier with the Church Warden, who called himself my 'Daddy', we were Christmas shopping.
Daddy was holding my hand as we walked, he often held my hand, and this was entirely his idea, he would hold out his hand for my hand, and he would walk with me, he called himself my 'Daddy' and called me his 'little daughter', regressing me to childhood.
Anyway, as we walked, he held my hand, but he kept snatching his hand away when he thought people 'were looking', which is what he did throughout our time together.
It hurt, it wounded me, because I fell for the innocent Daddy/Daughter thing, and a daddy does not hold his daughter's hand and then snatch his hand away and go on about 'people looking', even if no-one is looking, it was psychologically harmful.
I know that may not make sense to many people, you have to live through it to really understand it, and few people have been 'adopted' and then regressed to childhood and suffered such confusing wounding.
Anyway, it is eternally sad to remember how that Christmas could have been different.
JM, my friend, the Vicar who betrayed me in supporting both her abusive husband and the churchwarden in Jersey against me, and making me out to be a lying nymphomaniac, was still my friend at the time, despite having denied her husband's abuse of me, and blaming me, which left a permenant rift between us, but we were still good friends, and Juliet invited me over to spend Christmas with them that year, while all my friends were asking if I would come over (those friends who have been taken from me as a result of the Diocese), but the churchwarden, 'Daddy', wanted me to stay on the Island with him and his wife for Christmas.
I was concerned that 'Mummy', as he made me call her, was agreeing with him but did not seem enthusiastic, I kept asking if it was really alright? And in the end, I agreed to spend Christmas with 'Mummy and Daddy' in Jersey.
So, in order to even things out, I went to Hampshire for a pre-Christmas visit, to see everyone and give them Christmas gifts and cards.
Looking back on that makes me sad, because the Diocese have wiped out all those friendships by giving their side of things to everyone and parading me as mad and bad.
Anyway, I had a lovely pre-Christmas visit, and was just sad to miss the Christmas eve party at my friends' and the Christmas I could have had with JM, having had a lovely Christmas with her and her family some years earlier.
So I returned to Jersey for Christmas.
And it was one of the most soul-destroying Christmases.
I will never forget that Christmas eve, I was lied to.
The Churchwarden's wife told me that they were going to 'run a few errands', it was Christmas eve evening, they went out to a party that I was not invited to, and were out until very late night, running errands and going to a party and lying about it is not the same thing, and I was devastated. Already it was a very sad and upsetting Christmas. Because I knew I had been lied to, I knew where they were, I went to check. And I went down to the beach and cried.
Because the churchwarden always said I was their adoptive daughter, and yet, I was not part of their family publicly, they avoided telling anyone about that, including the people who's party they went to with their son.
By the time they got back, very late, I had spent Christmas eve alone and had been lied to, and it was very sad, and I told them I knew, and didn't get a very coherent response. As was always the case, the churchwarden's wife was always happy to slate me, but never to take responsibility. She really was put in a bad situation by her husband, as she did not want me, and she was made to be my 'mummy' by him, I never liked her either, and I should have know how to see it was not a health situation, especially after she called me a burden. But the churchwarden seemed to like the tension and he deliberately stirred it up and caused conflict between her and me.
Anyway. So, it was a miserable Christmas eve spent on my own, and then midnight mass at that awful church with the churchwarden.
But the Christmas Day took the magic out of Christmas, because even up to then I saw Christmas as a magical time, and then I saw Christmas through the eyes of people who only saw it as a nuisance because they already had everything, and I was rejected in front of everyone by the churchwarden's wife that day.
So Christmas Day was another dreary morning at that church, this time with the churchwarden's wife and son, who hadn't come to midnight mass with us.
Afterwards we went to the Churchwarden's brother's house, there was no present opening either before or after church or at the churchwarden's brother's house, it appeared that that had been forgotten in their version of Christmas, it was so sad.
But when we got to the Churchwarden's brother's house, I got the impression that Christmas was a nuisance to such people, who's wealth meant it was Christmas every day, and there was no joy, no happiness, it was kind of funeral like in a way.
It was decorated for Christmas, as far as I remember, decorations on those sweeping staircases up to the landing. Very grand.
But it wasn't Christmas there.
The Churchwarden's brother had a teenage son from his second marriage, who was a Victoria college student, of course, because all the males in the family were. The Son was obviously not keen on it being Christmas, or joining the family for the polite and awkward social chat, he wanted to play his computer games, it was just another day.
The churchwarden's brother, who's name was John, had a daughter from his first marriage, who was over from London, and she was a lawyer. I remember the churchwarden's son introducing her to me as his cousin, it reminded me sharply of how I was not really part of the family.
The churchwarden had said to me over and over again in the run up to Christmas, and that day, that I would be there as part of the family, but I obviously wasn't.
The Churchwarden stayed close to me all the time, he didn't seem to be enjoying himself, he was very quiet indeed, which was unusual for him, and even at the time, I was puzzled and did not know what was wrong with him, it remains a puzzle, he was not his loud and laughing self, he did not seem to like being there, he sat quietly, holding my hand when no-one was looking and keeping me with him, and it remains that I never knew him to visit his brother and family or phone them or speak of them in all the time I knew him, his wife did visit them, but he did not, and they never phoned. It is a sharp and spooky memory of his silence that Christmas Day that remains with me.
There was no real Christmas in that Christmas, we did have a big Christmas meal, and the Churchwarden continued to stay close to me.
After that we kind of sat somewhere, it seemed crowded and it was not a normal lounge, it seemed crowded when there was so much space in the other rooms.
It was awful, the Churchwarden's wife made it quite clear in front of everyone that I was not family but someone they took pity on, after the Churchwarden had said I was part of the family and would be on Christmas Day.
Someone came to join the 'Party', us sitting there like lemons, and the churchwarden's wife told the newcomer that I was someone from church that they had taken pity on.
(ie I was not the adoptive daughter that her husband said I was, and her tone said I was an unwelcome 'burden' as she had referred to me before).
I had had enough of being cramped and squashed and 'taken pity on', so I escaped this cramped pointless huddle in this room where were just kind of sitting, and I went outside, it was getting dark now, and my car, which I had driven up in as requested, was blocked in.
So I decided to go for a walk.
I walked in the dark, and I cried, because being family/not family was so very very painful, the churchwarden always told me I was family and that he was 'Daddy' and his wife was 'Mummy', his wife did not like being Mummy and was always carefully trying to cut me out and get rid of me, but Daddy was dominant and he said I was his daughter, and he regressed me to childhood and sat me on his knees, but the outside world and their own family did not know I was 'daughter' and they omitted it from their 'Christmas Newsletter', although, without my permission, they did put me and a photo of me with him in the newsletter, as a new friend or something, I always think that people who do Christmas Newsletters are very arrogant anyway.
Anyway, I kept walking, and crying, because it had been a dreadful day, not Christmas at all, no presents, no happiness and joy, no goodies, nothing apart from the meal, not even a decent church service - I was already looking for a new church anyway.
It was a Christmas with a family who simply endured Christmas rather than enjoying it, they had everything, and I was a burden. I walked up to the North Coast, looked at the stars and cried because I could have enjoyed Christmas on the mainland with my old friends.
I fell as I walked, my weak leg gave way and I went over, which made it all worse.
I went back, my car was no longer blocked in, and I drove back down the hill and to the churchwarden's house, where I was staying at the time, he had told me not to lock myself in my room but I did, and I went to bed.
My phone rang and I was sleepy so I didn't answer it, I slept, and I woke the next morning.
The next morning the churchwarden was knocking on my door and demanding that I came out so he could hug me, yes, that is what he was like, I told him it would be rude for him to hug me because I was still in my pyjamas.
But he persuaded me out and hugged me and hugged me and kissed me and told me he had come after me and tried to find me and had phoned me to ask me to come back for tea.
I didn't belong with his family, an object of pity, and I could never have gone back and endured more, it had been an awful day.
Anyway, it never got any better, that Christmas took some of my innocent joy away, I did not know that people saw Christmas as a nuisance and an endurance, even in all my Christmases as a young adult, my friends and I enjoyed Christmas and the run up to it. I guess it was like finding out Santa Clus isn't real, only I don't remember that.
I think it was boxing day that we actually started unwrapping presents, I had plenty of presents from those (now gone) friends in Hampshire, I don't remember much except a bone china mug with a £20 note in it from my friend who always did me a 'teapot' when I went to see her.
But I do remember how sad it all was, 'Daddy' wasn't even in the room while we did presents, he spent most of his life alone in his office, but would call me to him if I walked past, and would sit me on his knees.
Anyway, Daddy was not there, and I was happily opening my presents and making a fuss, because that is what you do at Christmas, even if it is a day late, but then it was bad again, because this is when 'Mummy' decided to present her son with some family heirloom because he decided to marry the woman he was sleeping with at long last.
I felt that I was kind of in the way of a private moment, so I stopped making a fuss over my presents and went into the kitchen for a cup of tea, because I don't know the rules but that was a private moment and I didn't belong.
But then Daddy came in and asked my why I had left my presents? And I told him I was intruding, so he sat with me in the kitchen.
Oh, what an awful Christmas.
The Churchwarden, to his credit, did try to make it a happy Christmas for me,while I was away in Hampshire, he even put decorations and presents in my room, labelled 'Daughter', but his wife was quite clear long before Christmas, that I was a burden, which broke my heart, and she made Christmas awfully sad for me. And that Christmas haunted me for many years, even until this year, when I had such a healing and lovely Christmas.
In the days after Christmas, 'Daddy' and I sat doing a puzzle in the 'dining room', he was very loving and affectionate and close, sitting me on his knees, stroking and kissing and being very close, like a lover, even though his wife was often only in the kitchen.
And actually one of the reasons I thought it was ok was that she was nearby through that.
I believe he was trying to make up for Christmas, but he was too close to the boundaries.
After Christmas I crashed into severe depression, which the Doctor diagnosed as a virus, and despite saying it was a virus, he put me on antibiotics.
I didn't really recover in my time in Jersey, and it looked like a return of the M.E. I had had a few years previously that I had overcome.
I remember 'Mummy' coming home and seeing me sitting there and saying 'don't beat yourself up', which, even when I translated that into neurotypical, I never understood.
She refused to let anyone discuss Christmas ever again, but was quite happy to discuss my faults.
She did, for some reason, take me back to the brother's house just after Christmas, and left me alone with the brother and his wife, I can only guess, but I think I was supposed to apologize for walking out.
The reality of how Money can't buy happiness is all there in this account of that Christmas, joy and innocence cannot easily be bought but can be taken away very easily.
random - attachment disorder
Good morning,
I am waiting to return to my therapy and just musing quietly, because I cannot afford any books on attachment disorder.
How to help attachment disorder in my case:
I am waiting to return to my therapy and just musing quietly, because I cannot afford any books on attachment disorder.
How to help attachment disorder in my case:
- Lots of solitude, sitting here by myself, just doing my own thing, I am not lonely, my friends are within reach but I am better being alone for long periods of time, this is not a cure, but it helps keep the disorder quiet and under control. If I was being crowded and over-looked-after and intensely helped by people who misguidedly want to 'love me better' or 'heal' me, I would start going bonkers with distress because I have no ability to respond appropriately to close involvement, this is why 'care' doesn't work for me, because I actually look after myself in basic needs, as best I can in poverty, but if anyone tries to look after me, I just get mad with distress, because the normal responses in me are messed up. This and autism spectrum, leads to me getting very angry and saying things I shouldn't and running away.
- Independence, with friends around but not closely involved. We have a good balance here, I have friends nearby and further away, who are on the phone and email, and I see them at church or when I can, but they do not do the intense but misguided 'healing' thing that a number of over-zealous 'Good Christians' have tried to do, and harmed me and them. Intense involvement would not help me or anyone being intensely involved, because I am avoidant and react badly, the only thing that can change this is therapy.
- Therapy, I will have attachment therapy, it has taken until this year to realise that attachment disorder was the main problem, but it is at the core of my problems, and I need to realign my ability to bond and to break unhealthy bonds. I still also need EMDR, but I believe that the attachment therapy is a priority, because I can't see EMDR working unless a proper foundation or healthy interaction with people is there first. That is my theory.
Thursday, 26 December 2013
Duh!
Duh, I have been to wound up to think about the Steel report and all that.
Whoever brought legal representation against the Diocese over the Steel Report must have known what was in the Steel Report.
Duh, I guess all the bloggers and everyone must have known all that, but I am a bit dumb.
Whoever brought legal representation against the Diocese over the Steel Report must have known what was in the Steel Report.
Duh, I guess all the bloggers and everyone must have known all that, but I am a bit dumb.
New year's Revolutions
I am sitting here thinking about New Years Revolutions to to do:
I came up with this:
Revolution 1: Convert the Diocese of Winchester to Christianity.
Revolution 2:
Revolution 3:
Well, seeing as Revolution 1 is such a massive impossible task, I think I had better focus on that, and forget about things like giving up swearing and chocolate. :)
I only do revolutions, because resolutions are boring.
I came up with this:
Revolution 1: Convert the Diocese of Winchester to Christianity.
Revolution 2:
Revolution 3:
Well, seeing as Revolution 1 is such a massive impossible task, I think I had better focus on that, and forget about things like giving up swearing and chocolate. :)
I only do revolutions, because resolutions are boring.
Bob in the moon
I will post this just because I am still worried about Uncle Bob being in the moon and ILM with his hands somewhere they shouldn't be. http://photopol.com/jersey/olixmas.html
Haha, Bob just online when I wrote this.
I will do a post later about that Christmas in Jersey. :(
Haha, Bob just online when I wrote this.
I will do a post later about that Christmas in Jersey. :(
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Christmas Message to Bishop Tim Dakin and the Diocese of Winchester
Dear Bishop Dakin and Diocese of Winchester,
You have made this year very very traumatic and difficult for me, your actions and the stress as a result of your actions have led to me being alienated, isolated, prevented from seeking help, unable to continue with college and charity work, and generally you have upset the rebuild of my life and left me in poor health and very traumatized and psychologically damaged.
It appears that you have had no thought for, or understanding of, my welfare, and have used me as a pawn in a fight with the Deanery of Jersey.
The end result for me is that I am not very well, and due to having been on incapacity benefits for three years now, I am likely to be sent back to work by the benefits agency despite not being fit due to the damage that your actions over the past year has caused to my health, this leaves me facing a bleak future as well as the possibility that I will not be able to afford my therapy, which is not available on the NHS.
I would ask you, in the spirit of goodwill that is reputed to be around at this time of year, not to further harm me in the New Year, years of harm at the hands of the Diocese of Winchester leads me to believe that you have not and will not cease to intervene in my life and harm me, and I would beg you to desist from harming me and not return to your efforts in the New Year, you have left me crippled for life with a record that you got me due to your own negligence and incompetence, and no further intervention by you is necessary, I will never recover and am unlikely to ever have quality of life again as a result.
Your handling of the abuse I have suffered and the misconduct of your clergy has been appalling and the way you have acted throughout this year, with the production of inaccurate reports that omit my side of things, your violations of my life and the way you have treated me, ending in your utterly ludicrous statement that included branding me 'lost, last or least' is inexcusable and appalling and I am sure, just as everyone saw through that statement, you know you cannot stand before God and say that you have acted with integrity.
I would ask again that you do not renew your onslaught against me in the new year, I am facing a bleak future due to your actions and am very very damaged physically and mentally by your actions.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
HG
You have made this year very very traumatic and difficult for me, your actions and the stress as a result of your actions have led to me being alienated, isolated, prevented from seeking help, unable to continue with college and charity work, and generally you have upset the rebuild of my life and left me in poor health and very traumatized and psychologically damaged.
It appears that you have had no thought for, or understanding of, my welfare, and have used me as a pawn in a fight with the Deanery of Jersey.
The end result for me is that I am not very well, and due to having been on incapacity benefits for three years now, I am likely to be sent back to work by the benefits agency despite not being fit due to the damage that your actions over the past year has caused to my health, this leaves me facing a bleak future as well as the possibility that I will not be able to afford my therapy, which is not available on the NHS.
I would ask you, in the spirit of goodwill that is reputed to be around at this time of year, not to further harm me in the New Year, years of harm at the hands of the Diocese of Winchester leads me to believe that you have not and will not cease to intervene in my life and harm me, and I would beg you to desist from harming me and not return to your efforts in the New Year, you have left me crippled for life with a record that you got me due to your own negligence and incompetence, and no further intervention by you is necessary, I will never recover and am unlikely to ever have quality of life again as a result.
Your handling of the abuse I have suffered and the misconduct of your clergy has been appalling and the way you have acted throughout this year, with the production of inaccurate reports that omit my side of things, your violations of my life and the way you have treated me, ending in your utterly ludicrous statement that included branding me 'lost, last or least' is inexcusable and appalling and I am sure, just as everyone saw through that statement, you know you cannot stand before God and say that you have acted with integrity.
I would ask again that you do not renew your onslaught against me in the new year, I am facing a bleak future due to your actions and am very very damaged physically and mentally by your actions.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
HG
Christmas Prayers and Greetings
I will start my Christmas prayers and Christmas greetings by repeating my prayers from earlier.
I pray for all those without power because of the weather, anyone suffering flooding or wind or storm damage, anyone trying to get home and being thwarted by the weather, anyone stuck far from home, anyone who is cold and tired and unable to get to their destination.
And, of course, I pray for the homeless who are out in this weather, with everywhere closing for Christmas, I pray that all homeless will recieve some warmth, kindness, compassion and hot food and drinks.
I pray for anyone who's Christmas is being spoiled by the weather.
In Jesus' Name, amen.
I pray for all who are going to find this Christmas difficult, especially those many people who are struggling financially and have found getting food difficult and getting presents for children and loved ones impossible, I pray for all who will feel sad and left out as they struggle while everyone else seems to be having fun. Amen
I pray for anyone who is alone, lonely or feeling left out this Christmas, I pray that they will be comforted and have hope and resolution for better times in future to buoy them up. amen
I pray for all vulnerable people, children and women in situations where they are abused and may be expecting the abuse to worsen during the Christmas Holidays, for their safety and an end to abuse, please Lord Jesus. Amen
I pray for those who are unwell or injured or dying and cannot enjoy the festive season, for comfort for them. Amen
I pray for any Children who are in poverty and cannot expect anything nice or any gifts or treats this Christmas, for their hope and welfare and for unexpected good surprises for them and for their families. Amen
I pray for warmth for those who are cold tonight, and for food for those who are hungry, shelter and outreach for those who are on the street, and safety for those in danger. Amen
I pray for all the young people out celebrating Christmas and New year at Parties, Pubs and Clubs, for their safety and welfare, and that they remember that it is not just about drinks and hangovers, that there is more to Christmas than that. Amen
Jesus, as we celebrate Your Birth, bring comfort to those in need, help to those in trouble, and bring hope and a future to those in despair. Saviour of the World, I ask this in Your Name. Amen.
Thank You Lord Jesus and Father God, for the way You have provided for me, in my years on the streets and in this homecoming, thank You for the courage, compassion and love that has brought me off the streets and home for Christmas, and providing for my every need this Christmas. Amen.
Lord I pray for my friends and family, those I see and those I no longer see, that they have a joyous Christmas and that emnity and tensions and worries are left behind as they celebrate.
Amen
I pray for everyone who has helped me and provided for me, and especially blessing for those who have been hurt by my traumatic reaction of anger and attachment disorder which causes a barrier between me and those who get too close, because I cannot trust and bond properly. I pray that my therapy can proceed in the New Year so that I can learn to respond well to love and care, and I pray healing for anyone who I have inadvertantly hurt.
Amen
I pray for my street brothers and sisters, especially those who have selflessly looked after me, sharing food and keeping me safe at night and keeping me company, bless all the precious and traumatized people who have to live on the streets or in inadequate or temporary accommodation.
Amen
I pray for anyone in Jersey who is struggling with injustice, illness, poor accommodation, money worries, loss of career or any other problem that is marring their Christmas. Amen
I pray a blessing on each and every person reading this blog, for whatever reason, those who know me, those who have found the blog by chance and those who have heard of it from various sources, I pray that you are blessed with a happy Christmas and New Year, no matter who you are. Amen
I pray for myself, that God can forgive my sins and especially my anger and irritation as the last 9 months have seen my life ripped apart by the actions of the Church of England.
I pray that I can find peace as the damage by the Diocese is so severe, and I am facing a bleak future as it is unlikely that I can stay on incapacity benefits after three years and am likely to be told to seek work, but the damage to my health by the Diocese means I am not fit for work, and so I am facing losing benefits and being unable to work, and thus not being able to afford my therapy, which is not available on the NHS. I would ask you to pray for me also. The damage by the Church of England to my life is always going to affect me, and I would ask God for my death, even though I am not mentally ill and will continue to make the best of life while God keeps me alive. Amen
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my old and new friends, family, anyone reading the blogs, churches, Jersey bloggers and everyone.
I pray for all those without power because of the weather, anyone suffering flooding or wind or storm damage, anyone trying to get home and being thwarted by the weather, anyone stuck far from home, anyone who is cold and tired and unable to get to their destination.
And, of course, I pray for the homeless who are out in this weather, with everywhere closing for Christmas, I pray that all homeless will recieve some warmth, kindness, compassion and hot food and drinks.
I pray for anyone who's Christmas is being spoiled by the weather.
In Jesus' Name, amen.
I pray for all who are going to find this Christmas difficult, especially those many people who are struggling financially and have found getting food difficult and getting presents for children and loved ones impossible, I pray for all who will feel sad and left out as they struggle while everyone else seems to be having fun. Amen
I pray for anyone who is alone, lonely or feeling left out this Christmas, I pray that they will be comforted and have hope and resolution for better times in future to buoy them up. amen
I pray for all vulnerable people, children and women in situations where they are abused and may be expecting the abuse to worsen during the Christmas Holidays, for their safety and an end to abuse, please Lord Jesus. Amen
I pray for those who are unwell or injured or dying and cannot enjoy the festive season, for comfort for them. Amen
I pray for any Children who are in poverty and cannot expect anything nice or any gifts or treats this Christmas, for their hope and welfare and for unexpected good surprises for them and for their families. Amen
I pray for warmth for those who are cold tonight, and for food for those who are hungry, shelter and outreach for those who are on the street, and safety for those in danger. Amen
I pray for all the young people out celebrating Christmas and New year at Parties, Pubs and Clubs, for their safety and welfare, and that they remember that it is not just about drinks and hangovers, that there is more to Christmas than that. Amen
Jesus, as we celebrate Your Birth, bring comfort to those in need, help to those in trouble, and bring hope and a future to those in despair. Saviour of the World, I ask this in Your Name. Amen.
Thank You Lord Jesus and Father God, for the way You have provided for me, in my years on the streets and in this homecoming, thank You for the courage, compassion and love that has brought me off the streets and home for Christmas, and providing for my every need this Christmas. Amen.
Lord I pray for my friends and family, those I see and those I no longer see, that they have a joyous Christmas and that emnity and tensions and worries are left behind as they celebrate.
Amen
I pray for everyone who has helped me and provided for me, and especially blessing for those who have been hurt by my traumatic reaction of anger and attachment disorder which causes a barrier between me and those who get too close, because I cannot trust and bond properly. I pray that my therapy can proceed in the New Year so that I can learn to respond well to love and care, and I pray healing for anyone who I have inadvertantly hurt.
Amen
I pray for my street brothers and sisters, especially those who have selflessly looked after me, sharing food and keeping me safe at night and keeping me company, bless all the precious and traumatized people who have to live on the streets or in inadequate or temporary accommodation.
Amen
I pray for anyone in Jersey who is struggling with injustice, illness, poor accommodation, money worries, loss of career or any other problem that is marring their Christmas. Amen
I pray a blessing on each and every person reading this blog, for whatever reason, those who know me, those who have found the blog by chance and those who have heard of it from various sources, I pray that you are blessed with a happy Christmas and New Year, no matter who you are. Amen
I pray for myself, that God can forgive my sins and especially my anger and irritation as the last 9 months have seen my life ripped apart by the actions of the Church of England.
I pray that I can find peace as the damage by the Diocese is so severe, and I am facing a bleak future as it is unlikely that I can stay on incapacity benefits after three years and am likely to be told to seek work, but the damage to my health by the Diocese means I am not fit for work, and so I am facing losing benefits and being unable to work, and thus not being able to afford my therapy, which is not available on the NHS. I would ask you to pray for me also. The damage by the Church of England to my life is always going to affect me, and I would ask God for my death, even though I am not mentally ill and will continue to make the best of life while God keeps me alive. Amen
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my old and new friends, family, anyone reading the blogs, churches, Jersey bloggers and everyone.
Christmas Prayers 1
I will start my Christmas Prayers now because of the Weather.
I pray for all those without power because of the weather, anyone suffering flooding or wind damage, anyone trying to get home and being thwarted by the weather, anyone stuck far from home, anyone who is cold and tired and unable to get to their destination.
And, of course, I pray for the homeless who are out in this weather, with everywhere closing for Christmas, I pray that all homeless will recieve some warmth, kindness, compassion and hot food and drinks.
In Jesus' Name, amen.
I pray for all those without power because of the weather, anyone suffering flooding or wind damage, anyone trying to get home and being thwarted by the weather, anyone stuck far from home, anyone who is cold and tired and unable to get to their destination.
And, of course, I pray for the homeless who are out in this weather, with everywhere closing for Christmas, I pray that all homeless will recieve some warmth, kindness, compassion and hot food and drinks.
In Jesus' Name, amen.
Monday, 23 December 2013
copied from homeless, historic posts
05/02/2012
The way the church have treated me, judged me and damned me is nothing to do with God.
I cannot begin to imagine how these people who falsely called me mad and who lie, even to a court, and excuse themselves on the grounds of mental illness that I do not have, can still claim to be to do with God.
05/02/2012
The church are supposed to be there for my spiritual salvation and saving,
instead they have left me lost and sickened when I enter a church.
This was actually written in Jersey and reproduced on 'Homeless' on 01/02/2012
This was written after the abuse by my adoptive father and the end of the relationship and the reporting of the abuse, it is about the sorrow of losing the father I had looked for and about my attempt to keep my faith, and also about my death wish as the pain was so bad. I have changed one line in order to protect identity, It is God I am running to in the last line, I tried so hard to have God as my replacement father:
And the victim? Usually isolated due to poverty, disability or illness or even lack of family in the too often middle class family focussed churches.
The Diocese of Winchester is almost without exception a Diocese of Wealthy churches and I was a misfit.
(23/12/13 I actually named the diocese here in the post, probably by accident, because during the time I was writing 'homeless' I normally changed names as I was on the run and fearful that the Diocese would have me captured again)
So what happens? The potential victim is spotted by the potential abuser, the potential abuser offers attention to the isolated potential victim, and if they respond, as many will because they want to belong, to be accepted, to be less alone, then the abuser gradually takes them over, making them feel accepted and slowly introducing the abuser's own agenda. And either the abuser gets what he wants, or he gets what he wants to a certain extent and then the victim puts a stop to it and returns to isolation or alienation and with the burden of consceince but no reporting of the matter, or they report the abuser who is in a strong position while they are in a weak one, and suffer the consequences of the church's reaction to a 'favourite' being reported by an 'outsider' of the tight circle of church leaders and politics
Where is God in this as it happens thousands of times over?
How can it be that church leadership are sometimes as far from Christianity as it is possible to be, while they 'lead' what is supposed to be a Christian organization?
The way the church have treated me, judged me and damned me is nothing to do with God.
I cannot begin to imagine how these people who falsely called me mad and who lie, even to a court, and excuse themselves on the grounds of mental illness that I do not have, can still claim to be to do with God.
05/02/2012
The church are supposed to be there for my spiritual salvation and saving,
instead they have left me lost and sickened when I enter a church.
This was actually written in Jersey and reproduced on 'Homeless' on 01/02/2012
This was written after the abuse by my adoptive father and the end of the relationship and the reporting of the abuse, it is about the sorrow of losing the father I had looked for and about my attempt to keep my faith, and also about my death wish as the pain was so bad. I have changed one line in order to protect identity, It is God I am running to in the last line, I tried so hard to have God as my replacement father:
Beloved Father:
Every night I dream the same,
All the accusation, all the shame,
I am disabled so blame my disability,
For others’ stupidity and irresponsibility,
For others sinful motives I am hurt,
For my reactions to their treatment,
I am wrong because they can’t be,
I am a burden an outcast,
They despise me for my past,
Every night I dream I am running to you,
Outstretched arms, yours are too,
Then you turn away.
I loved you as a daughter loves a father
Why was I accused?
I trusted you,
Why was that trust abused?
But as time goes and memory is gone,
I will go on searching everywhere,
For that shore more beautiful than my home,
He is waiting for me there,
And I will be a child again,
Running to my Father’s arms with joy.
And this was written on 'Homeless' on 30/01/2012 Keep in mind that it has taken me years to start to recover and I was still very angry and frightened and traumatized when I wrote this:
The church have had their say about me while having me forcibly prevented from giving my evidence because I was locked up and in terror and distress, when do I get to give my evidence while they are treated as I was?
They are the church, I am one hellishly damaged disabled person, when is it going to be equal and the God of justice that they claim to serve allows justice and me to speak and be heard and believed against the great powerful and Godless church that did this to me?
Homeless 30/01/2012:
http://www.fisheaters.com/clergysexabuse.html
All denominations and doctrines contain abuse and cover up, and all denominations and doctrines contain good and genuine people who believe and practice what they preach.
I have good and genuine friends in a number of denominations, including the denomination in which I was abused. Some of my friends were abuse victims too.
Homeless 30/01/2012:
The abuser is usually someone well-off, respected in the church, in leadership of some form or another because it is easy for someone who needs to control and be in control to climb the church leadership ladder, it is made for them.And this was written on 'Homeless' on 30/01/2012 Keep in mind that it has taken me years to start to recover and I was still very angry and frightened and traumatized when I wrote this:
The church have had their say about me while having me forcibly prevented from giving my evidence because I was locked up and in terror and distress, when do I get to give my evidence while they are treated as I was?
They are the church, I am one hellishly damaged disabled person, when is it going to be equal and the God of justice that they claim to serve allows justice and me to speak and be heard and believed against the great powerful and Godless church that did this to me?
Homeless 30/01/2012:
http://www.fisheaters.com/clergysexabuse.html
All denominations and doctrines contain abuse and cover up, and all denominations and doctrines contain good and genuine people who believe and practice what they preach.
I have good and genuine friends in a number of denominations, including the denomination in which I was abused. Some of my friends were abuse victims too.
Homeless 30/01/2012:
And the victim? Usually isolated due to poverty, disability or illness or even lack of family in the too often middle class family focussed churches.
The Diocese of Winchester is almost without exception a Diocese of Wealthy churches and I was a misfit.
(23/12/13 I actually named the diocese here in the post, probably by accident, because during the time I was writing 'homeless' I normally changed names as I was on the run and fearful that the Diocese would have me captured again)
So what happens? The potential victim is spotted by the potential abuser, the potential abuser offers attention to the isolated potential victim, and if they respond, as many will because they want to belong, to be accepted, to be less alone, then the abuser gradually takes them over, making them feel accepted and slowly introducing the abuser's own agenda. And either the abuser gets what he wants, or he gets what he wants to a certain extent and then the victim puts a stop to it and returns to isolation or alienation and with the burden of consceince but no reporting of the matter, or they report the abuser who is in a strong position while they are in a weak one, and suffer the consequences of the church's reaction to a 'favourite' being reported by an 'outsider' of the tight circle of church leaders and politics
Where is God in this as it happens thousands of times over?
How can it be that church leadership are sometimes as far from Christianity as it is possible to be, while they 'lead' what is supposed to be a Christian organization?
A number of links about Church based abuse. Judging by the way the Church of England are still treating survivors, they still lack the will to safeguard, and there are many voiceless victims. The Diocese of Winchester remains without safeguarding and priests are allowed to libel and attack already suffering survivors
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1566826/C-of-E-child-abuse-was-ignored-for-decades.html
http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Church-cover-challenged-sake-abuse-victims/story-15121603-detail/story.html
What intrigued me about this third link originally when I posted it on 'Homeless' was some of the comments, I am startled to see that the comments have been removed. I am not homophobic, but no ordained priest should abuse their position, not Peter Ould with his bullying and sex blog, not a gay priest or even a straight priest using their position to lure vulnerable people in for sex, it is wrong if any person does it, it is much much more wrong when a priest, who should know right from wrong, deliberately behaves wrongly, and that includes the Jersey Deanery clergy and readers in their actions as a result of the abuse I suffered and the Dean's suspension.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/gay-priest-sacked-for-lurid-conduct-6553884.html
And here is an article Peter Ould won't like, because what he himself does is a form of abuse, he abuses me in deriding me, he abuses the Church's Christian ethic, what is left of it, he abuses God, and he abuses his own soul. Most of all, in attacking me, he abuses every survivor of the Church of England's abuse, appalling safeguarding, cover ups and secrecy, and invalidates them and what they have been through, there is no excuse for Peter Ould, and the sooner he and his cronies leave my blog alone, the sooner God can consider forgiving them.
http://tessera2009.blogspot.co.uk/2010/03/sexual-abuse-of-women-in-church.html
Here is another excellent link
http://www.jmm.org.au/articles/5475.htm
And:
http://www.healclergyabuse.com/
And
http://www.educatingtoendabuse.com/id23.html
Article.
I had no idea that other people went through the same as me when I was being abused by the church.
http://ffrf.org/legacy/books/betrayal/
Abuse is universal and inexcusable, it ruins lives.
http://www.brokenrites.org.au/drupal/
and:
http://www.underthegreenwave.com/clergy-abuse-survivors-kicked-out-of-church/
http://www.csmonitor.com/2002/0405/p01s01-ussc.html
http://www.crusadeagainstclergyabuse.com/index.html
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2002/marchweb-only/3-18-31.0.html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19042603
http://archives.weirdload.com/stats.html
http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/Church-cover-challenged-sake-abuse-victims/story-15121603-detail/story.html
What intrigued me about this third link originally when I posted it on 'Homeless' was some of the comments, I am startled to see that the comments have been removed. I am not homophobic, but no ordained priest should abuse their position, not Peter Ould with his bullying and sex blog, not a gay priest or even a straight priest using their position to lure vulnerable people in for sex, it is wrong if any person does it, it is much much more wrong when a priest, who should know right from wrong, deliberately behaves wrongly, and that includes the Jersey Deanery clergy and readers in their actions as a result of the abuse I suffered and the Dean's suspension.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/gay-priest-sacked-for-lurid-conduct-6553884.html
And here is an article Peter Ould won't like, because what he himself does is a form of abuse, he abuses me in deriding me, he abuses the Church's Christian ethic, what is left of it, he abuses God, and he abuses his own soul. Most of all, in attacking me, he abuses every survivor of the Church of England's abuse, appalling safeguarding, cover ups and secrecy, and invalidates them and what they have been through, there is no excuse for Peter Ould, and the sooner he and his cronies leave my blog alone, the sooner God can consider forgiving them.
http://tessera2009.blogspot.co.uk/2010/03/sexual-abuse-of-women-in-church.html
Here is another excellent link
http://www.jmm.org.au/articles/5475.htm
And:
http://www.healclergyabuse.com/
And
http://www.educatingtoendabuse.com/id23.html
Article.
I had no idea that other people went through the same as me when I was being abused by the church.
http://ffrf.org/legacy/books/betrayal/
Abuse is universal and inexcusable, it ruins lives.
http://www.brokenrites.org.au/drupal/
and:
http://www.underthegreenwave.com/clergy-abuse-survivors-kicked-out-of-church/
http://www.csmonitor.com/2002/0405/p01s01-ussc.html
http://www.crusadeagainstclergyabuse.com/index.html
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2002/marchweb-only/3-18-31.0.html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19042603
http://archives.weirdload.com/stats.html
update
Good evening. Just to update you on what is going on with the blogs. I have imported 'The Wanderer' to this site, 'The Wanderer' tells you two years of my life on the streets after fleeing the Diocese of Winchester, the Wanderer has a gap in February and March of this year when I attempted to live indoors before the Diocese launched on me, and it ceases altogether in October, two years after it started, as the Church of England were hurting me terribly and I became very ill with stress and thus M.E. and had to quit all my activities, including college and the preparations for a second sponsored trek.
'Life after the Diocese' tells of my new life, and I have merged 'The Wanderer' with 'Life after the Diocese' on this blog nest, so it is all accessible in one now.
http://lifeafterthediocese.blogspot.co.uk/
I will also be importing 'Homeless' to this blog nest, but will be keeping it offline while I sort through it and transfer my story to this blog.
'Life after the Diocese' tells of my new life, and I have merged 'The Wanderer' with 'Life after the Diocese' on this blog nest, so it is all accessible in one now.
http://lifeafterthediocese.blogspot.co.uk/
I will also be importing 'Homeless' to this blog nest, but will be keeping it offline while I sort through it and transfer my story to this blog.
Sunday, 22 December 2013
Tech probs
Due to technical problems recently, a few posts have been a bit messed up.
Just in case the message hasn't got through, I am doing a new day-to-day blog called 'Life after the Diocese', which is available on my blog list.
This is so that I can share the traumatic historic stuff on this blog without disrupting it with daily posts, a bit like when I divided 'homeless' and 'The Wanderer'.
I will be transferring posts as soon as we sort out the internet this week.
Just in case the message hasn't got through, I am doing a new day-to-day blog called 'Life after the Diocese', which is available on my blog list.
This is so that I can share the traumatic historic stuff on this blog without disrupting it with daily posts, a bit like when I divided 'homeless' and 'The Wanderer'.
I will be transferring posts as soon as we sort out the internet this week.
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