Post traumatic Stress Disorder

An excellent link from the Royal College of Psychiatrists:

http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/ptsd/posttraumaticstressdisorder.aspx

I was assessed recently for PTSD although I have know I have it for some time, we were looking at the severity of it and some of the scores were very high above the cut off level, the verdict is that I need EMDR, but my life is too unsettled.

How does Post Traumatic Stress Disorder affect me? Easy bullet points:

• Flashbacks, nightmares, negativity at night and terrors and flashbacks at night and on waking
• Depression
• Despair
• Anxiety
• Anger and Irritability
• lack of trust 
• Tense and unable to relax
• Fears of repeat events
• Dissociation 
• Avoidance of triggers
• Feeling physically unwell
• Not looking after myself properly

Because I have remained in a situation where what has happened to me has not only remained unresolved but has smashed back into my life and re-traumatized me, because what has happened has been so awful and so prolonged and because I was never treated for my childhood traumas, I am battling severe PTSD.

PTSD leaves me suffering day and night without a break and I am so tense and so frightened and angry that no one can help me, because I don't believe them.

There is a particular element to my PTSD that is unique. I suffer trauma if I sleep indoors, I become very tense and stop sleeping and suffer vivid flashbacks and fears. This is why I have slept rough so long, and it is caused by the repeat police brutality and detentions that I have suffered at the hands of the Diocese of Winchester.