Homeless in Winchester 2010 part 2

• I made no contact with the diocese on my return to Winchester, I had no intention of doing so, and stupidly believed that they would do likewise, stupidly, stupidly believed that now they had destroyed me and made it clear beyond anything that they did not believe me and believed Key, that they would accept that they had severely ‘punished’ me and would leave me alone, but I was mistaken, very mistaken, I had forgotten Jane Fisher’s job of protecting the church’s reputation, and here I was in Winchester, destroyed and such a danger to that reputation, and I have no doubt that despite this statement being true, Jane Fisher has and is there to ‘hush things up’ that too will be hidden and covered so that it does look like the diocese were simply ‘concerned’ about me, despite being the ones who destroyed me and their ‘concern’ having no benefit to me whatsoever and being of great harm to me as well as the fact that they refused to withdraw their interventions since I came back and went on and on intervening as I screamed at them in anguish, my reopening of communication with them was entirely provoked as continued to be hurt, shocked and harmed by their intervention and its impact on me.

• And guess what they did about me going out of my mind and screaming at Jane Fisher to back down and asking the Bishop again and again to withdraw her from intervention? They had me attacked by the police, covered up their intervention and made it look as if I was mad, I was treated nastily and brutally by the police, and was bruised and thrown around screaming in terror and distress, I was locked up and had the police outside the cell calling me paranoid and a troublemaker and getting my CRB  check on the computer and the diocese having hidden what had happened in Jersey and dissociated themselves from it, I was called a troublemaker because of what they read about what was written, that one sided destroyal of me in Jersey, so there I was, destroyed by what had happened in Jersey and having suffered and suffered at Fisher’s hands since my return to Winchester, being called a troublemaker and seriously mentally ill because the diocese took offence at my autistic despairing reaction to the terrible and wrong continued interference in my life.
• Anyway that comes later, back to the story:
• I went to the Trinity Centre the next day after a night of sickness and nightmares at the Nightshelter, and when I went to the Trinity Centre I had a terrible terrible shock, Lou Scott-Joynt phoned me, she had somehow got my number muddled up with (my friend's)number and was obviously aware that (my friend) was involved with me, she was trying to phone (my friend) about me and had phoned me! I collapsed, Lou Scott-Joynt realised she had phoned me and said ‘oh is that ******? This is Lou Scott-Joynt’. I told her to go to hell and I put the phone down in shock, 

• later I found that I also had a previous missed call from her on my phone, I was so shocked I escaped from the homeless centre and was sobbing and sick, I phoned (my friend) who was still in Jersey, I told her that Lou-Scott-Joynt had been trying to phone her and that I was going to the police, I told her I could not cope with the diocese continuing to interfere now that they had destroyed me, (my friend) said that if anyone spoke to her that she would speak to them and would listen and that her opinion would still be her own, but the diocesan interference and (my friends) being involved at all took away the trust of that long strong relationship, I did not feel that I am safe from the prying church and their interference and I felt ashamed and humiliated and unwilling to confide anything to these friends any more, can I ask you to imagine the impact of this on me?

• My friends may may be different ages to me, but they were some of my first friends and it was a long, strong and trusting relationship where I didn’t feel judged, as a result of what happened  I felt l condemned and ashamed and humiliated and unable to trust until I stopped  seeing them, in all appearances the relationship would seem the same as ever, but inside the bonds  frayed and the solidness is gone. I am sorry to admit that, it breaks my heart, Lou Scott-Joynt really stuck the knife in by what she did, if she had got hold of my friend instead of me and it had been kept quiet, I do not know what would have happened, but she got me, and she left me traumatised and shocked to realise that the diocese thought they could simply continue to rape my life for their own ends.
•  'Genuine concern for me' would be their glib answer, but if there had been any genuine concern, they would have left me and my relationships alone and allowed me to rebuild my life instead of violating me and having me slated for my response, what they did was callously cruel and unhealable.

•  I do not know if Lou Scott-Jouynt proceeded to talk to my friend, but people obviously have, and so I felt ashamed when I go to see my friend, my friend’s daughter  was obviously unsure of me after I was forced to leave Jersey, and one day she was there with her friend, her friend had obviously been told whatever my friends' view of the matter was as she blurted out something about it in a very bright and humiliating way and went on to say something about me wearing her friend's old top, even though at the time I wasn’t, I was wearing similar, but she seemed to think it was all a great joke, and I was very humiliated, while her friend tried to get her to hush up and go upstairs with her.
• This is some of the impact of the Diocese and their violations, can you imagine if you were publicly disgraced like this and powerless and helpess against this humiliation? No one reading this would want to go through what I did.

• Back to the story, I went straight from the homeless Centre to the police station, I was so shocked and seeing police on top of that was the last thing I needed, but I could not stand the thought of the diocese going on and on and on hurting me, 
• I was broken beyond healing and I do not know how I got through those first terrible days back in Winchester, the policeman who I spoke to was actually very nice, this was before the Bishop and Jane Fisher had their say to the police, the policeman looked at my phone and I told him what had happened, I was panicking from being in the policestation and I was in shock from the call from Lou Scott-Joynt,
•  I do not know how I didn’t break down completely, I showed the policeman the number on my phone, afterwards I worried in case I had shown him the nightshelter number which is similar and had also come up when the nightshelter secretary had tested that she had my mobile number by phoning it. 
• The policeman said he would phone Lou Scott-Joynt and ask her not to contact me and for the diocese to leave me alone, he said I did not look like a troublemaker when I explained to him how the diocese had got me done for retaliating to what had been happening in Jersey. He said he would phone me back to let me know about it, but he never did.
• Basically the Diocese had all the voice and when I repeatedly begged the police to stop them, the police treated me as mad and refused to do anything. It remains that they have not and will not restrain the Diocese from harming me.

• I went to See Anne and her husband, the last thing I wanted to do was bring my problems to them, I wanted to see them, in all this destroyal the sweetest thing was to be able to see Anne and her husband,
•  I went to see them, I didn’t go on about what had happened to me or my situation, the last thing I wanted was to load them with my problems even though they are emotionally balanced and don’t get overwhelmed with anyone’s problems
• , I made a great effort to be cheerful and happy to be in Hampshire, I told them that I was in the nightshelter and we just chatted. Anne wanted me to come back and see them again soon, and I said I would, sadly a few days later I spoke to Anne on the phone about coming to see them when she had said I could, but she told me she had had an email forwarded to her by JM, which was from Jane Fisher, I was indescribably shocked and angry, this woman Jane Fisher was using JM who had covered Fred’s abuse by calling me malicious and who had involved herself in the matter in Jersey and harmed me by doing so, 

• Jane Fisher was using JM in this matter as if I was not shamed and humiliated enough! And was raping my friendship with Anne and her family this way, humiliating me, giving the church’s opinion to my friends, there was an is no way that the arrest and imprisonment will ever heal for me, and it was bad enough my friends knowing that this terrible thing had happened, but for the diocese to go on and interfere in this way after what had happened was intolerable. I do not know what Jane Fisher said in her email, I do know that there is no way whatsoever that this could have been beneficial to me.
• Anyway after Anne repeatedly trying to talk to me and force this onto me while I screamed, that was the end of my friendship with Anne and her family, Anne was dying and died a few months later, with me estranged from her, and the diocese would not even let me grieve, they raped my grief and used it to the police as well, a friendship of over 10 years and full of love, was destroyed by the Diocese's influence that they used to cover their backs and defame me, friendships of 10 years and more were wiped out and I was defamed, to church members and officers such as Anne, and as most of my friends were church members and position holders, I watched my friendships and the whole structure of my life in my hometown of Winchester, swept away.