After Winchester -Winchester 2010/11 and onwards

• Can you imagine it? Losing your home and being villified twice in a row?
• Hard for many readers to imagine, because not many people go through such an endless horror, I know at least one of my readers has, several readers from Jersey have been through terrible ordeals, and I salute you for your courage.
• This is a really hard subject to write about.

• I was so badly maligned, and my life so badly interfered with in Winchester, that in the end, bewildered and broken, I had to give up and flee.
• I was tired and confused and not sure where to go, because, after Jersey, Winchester and Hampshire were my only home. I had a bit of contact with my family still, although the Jersey and diocese situation had put strain on my relationship with my family, but at the time I left Winchester it had not removed my relationship with my family.
• Also, my family, all survivors, had their own problems, and none of them lived anywhere that I called 'home' and they are not the sort of family who are equipped to help each other out, none showed any concern for my homelessness at the time.

• I didn't know how to escape from Winchester at first, several attempts led to me being maligned by Winchester homeless services and council, who in turn had accepted the defamation of me by Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts, so I was maligned as far away as Scotland when I fled there to try to escape Jane Fisher and the Bishop, and basically fleeing all that way only to be criminalized is no better than just staying put with what is familiar and being maligned at home in Winchester.
• At one point I was attempting to access help in Southampton, which is not the best place, as jane Fisher lives there, but nonetheless, it is a town I have known since childhood, and was close to my remaining friends and the familiarity of Winchester, but the homeless centre doctor from Winchester, who is a 'Christian' turned up at the homeless centre in Southampton, and so I fled again, and was given unhelpful reports about 'not liking the doctor' which was rubbish, I did like the doctor but I was also not prepared to go on being linked back to Winchester and the slander of me there.
• Basically no matter where I went or what I did, my privacy was violated by the defamation which came from the 'caring' diocese, who defamed and drove me out to cover their wrongdoing at my expense, and got their side of things heard, while I was cowering like a whipped dog as I was endlessly treated as if I was mad and bad.

• And my reaction to this atrocious situation simply backed up the Diocese's side of things, especially as they condemned me as mentally ill and omitted my autism and the abuse in Jersey, repeatedly.
• The Diocese stupidly and uselessly kept trying to force on me and other people, that I needed medical help, this led to my trip to Winchester CAB, where Lou Scott-Joynt worked, being invalidated, this was because instead of helping me in finding a way to protect me from the Diocese, they tried to say I needed medical help, and treated my plea for help as mental illness, and refused to help me.
• The reason all of this is so stunningly ridiculous is, that throughout my time homeless in Winchester, I was under the care of a doctor, and not once did any doctor mention or treat me as if I was mentally ill, and they didn't even ask to refer me for help.

• Firstly I was under the care of the doctor at the homeless centre in Winchester, and I had a problem with this as she told me she was a Christian who worshipped in Winchester, and secondly she did not respond properly to the fact I was having trouble walking and climbing stairs, she tested my reflexes and said they were ok so I must be ok.
• So at the time, the spine injuries, leg length sydrome, misalignments and asthma etc, were not important because my reflexes were ok - this is the story of my life with the NHS.
• The one thing the homeless doctor did do, to her eternal credit, was put a stop to a situation where I was trapped by staff at the homeless centre and threatened with police and social services involvement when I took to sleeping rough after the Diocese violated my privacy by interfering at the nightshelter where the Bishop was patron.
• I will never forget being trapped in the homeless centre, where the staff control the door locks, and being told if I insisted on going then then police and social services would be after me, I really hit the roof, and I screamed at the staff that they had no right to do this, hysterical that after my experiences in Jersey, I was to be trapped and forced on again, and again because of the Diocese.
• The Homeless Doctor came downstairs, and got the staff to pack it in and let me go, that is to her eternal credit, but that situation was another of many many traumas from Octorber 2010 to now, I am far from recovered now, especially as the diocese continue to smash me down.

• Anyway, as a result of all this, I did not feel comfortable with the homeless doctor, and I registered temporarily at another surgery, it reminded me of the surgery I had been registered at in my early 20s, grotty, long waiting times and no patient care.
• I registered at another surgery, and I have to say, they were pretty good, in general, they actually DID SOMETHING about some of my problems.

• I remember how I used to go in there afraid, as if I was going to be trapped and hurt, but they didn't do that, they were so good that I even phoned them a few times, despite my problems using a phone.
• The doctor I saw regularly was kind and helpful, she told me there was pretty much nothing available locally on the NHS for trauma and counselling, when I asked. She told me that unfortunately all that was available was that wretched Christian counselling service in Winchester, the one that didn't help me before, the one that contacted JM without my permission and got her opinionated opinion of me in my early 20s. 
• Unfortunately that Christian counselling service was all that was available in Winchester at the time, counselling would not be enough, and seeing as I had been maligned and defamed throughout the Christian network in Winchester by Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts, it would have been a damaging waste of time to apply, especially, and most importantly, as I knew that I was too disturbed for counselling and could not relate to a counsellor.
• But the Doctor saw me regularly and did not treat me as mentally ill, did not see me as mentally ill and did not ask or offer to refer me for help, thus the way I was turned away by places like the CAB remains henious, and a wound that will never heal, and as a result, the CAB, a place I really need to assist me at times, remains inaccesible to me because of how I was treated.
• The doctor, as I said, DID help me in other ways, she had me referred to a podiatrist for my walking, and I was found to have leg length syndrome, at last, and this leg length problem is part of what affects my tendons and ligaments, causes pain and affects how I walk, although there are other issues there.
• This doctor also diagnosed me with asthma, at last! When the asthma became more severe, but I was left alone to work out how to use the inhalers.

I will stop there and share these memories.