re-post of Jersey safeguarding concerns

Monday, 21 October 2013

Jersey Safeguarding concerns

bullet point safeguarding concerns in Jersey 1.

This is a brief description of some of my concerns of safeguarding in Jersey:

I do not know the full picture with regards to safeguarding in Jersey but I can share some of my experiences, I can do some church by church and general stuff.
This is stuff that no-one is going to see in the safeguarding report comissioned by Bishop Dakin, because my side of things has been omitted, the Bishop has cleared the Dean and the Deanery has hijacked the report to clear themselves at my expense, and the damage is now bringing me close to breaking, either my heart or mind will fail soon, so I will write while I can, having had to give up any normal activities such as college.

St. Matthews, Millbrook:

• The books and their use. Previously described to John and Christine. St. Matthews promotes Books that contain stories and references to abuse as if it is something to be forgiven and then everything will be alright. A story is given of a church man raping a church woman and how every time she saw him at a gathering she had to remember to forgive him and when she saw him laughing with other people she was to remember forgiveness and she started feeling better, no police or reporting of the rape was involved, the focus was forgiveness and I do not think that is a good example of anything, especially not to a vulnerable or abused person. Forgiveness takes time, and in the case of an abuser or rapist, they are a danger to others. No church should teach that forgiveness is everything in such cases and lead anyone to the impression that a church man who goes to a lone churchwoman's house and rapes her should not be reported but should be forgiven and left in church positions.
• A book containing a paragraph about how 'Satanists are praying for the breakup of clergy marriages in the USA', this paragraph has been redone and shared in Jersey and Overton as 'Satanists praying for the breakup of clergy marriages in Jersey'. There are a variety of Americanist evangelical extreme books and the services run along the same lines. Scaremongering and playing with people's minds is dangerous and many people who go to church, especially healing services, have vulnerability or are in need. Easily bought, as I have been with some things said and done in the Overton church and St. Matthews in Jersey, both churches had a close link due to George and Jill Lihou being Phil and Heather Warren's parents-in-law. The kind of things like 'there are satanists here praying for the breakup of clergy marriages, is manipulative, uncharacteristic of true Satanists and the aim is to send a shiver up people's spines, just as a lot of extreme evangelical manipulations are.
• Going too far with signs and wonders and games. I described the game where the people in the prayer room at St. Matthews made me step forward to 'prophetically step forward' in life. Well some of St. Matthews games were thrilling and sometimes I got caught up in them but some were pushing boundaries. The Charismatic tricks that are easy for vulnerable and needy people to get caught up in.
• the Vicar's wife, Heather (George and Jill Lihou's daughter), would go round telling certain longstanding members of the congregation some 'visions' to shout out during the service, this was usual. The usual charismatic 'coming up with health problems that someone in the congregation is likely to have', the light pushing on people's shoulders when laying hands on them, either to make it feel like something was happening or to make them 'fall over for Jesus, etc. Sometimes it was all fun, sometimes it was spooky. I remember how Heather Warren used to throw herself on the floor, and she was a big woman, and she and the others would be going 'Daddy God, Daddy God, Daddy, Daddy', I didn't like that because it reminded me of Robb, who called himself my 'daddy' and I also knew that such things could not be to do with real God or Jesus, because they would not condone that, Jesus would have looked tand asked what she was doing, . I am not sure what God thinks of people throwing themselves about, but it is show rather than worship. 
•  Anyway, it was all extreme and they used to play a tape I called 'the sobbing tape' which made strange moaning sobbing noises, and it could sound a bit dodgy, it did one time when the girl at the microphone kept going on about us being God's bride all prepared and fresh and things, it did sound wierd, it was very much about raising emotions, almost sexual, close to the boundaries sometimes, a bit dodgy for some vulnerable people. and easy to buy into, I did.
• crossing professional boundaries. Dr Balmer, as far as I know he held some position in church, possibly a church officer, but he was also my Doctor, I remember being horrified when he actually out loud and in front of people spoke to me about things I had spoken to him about at the surgery, including looking for work. I know Jersey is behind the times but that was just wrong.I changed my surgery soon after that. You can't go to a doctor who is part of a church that has rumours about you and who can breach confidences that way, who knows what he could have told the Warrens from my records! And sadly, in such a small island similar problems occured repeatedly.
• Phil Warren's attack on me where he trapped me, said he had 'heard about me' and threatened to ban me and accused me of threatening him. This is described elsewhere, so i will not repeat it in detail. Horrendous.And the apology did not explain why he had done it so Jane Fisher claimed it had not happened as it did. What kind of safeguarder is Jane Fisher if she excused this behaviour?!
• Basically despite these points, I liked this church as part of my routine, for a cuppa at the cafe and the monthly evening service that people from all over the island attended. It is overpowering and they do go over the top with their influences sometimes but nothing apart from that. St. Matthews is trying to be an American evangelical/cult church. Which is not necessarily healthy.

I have no safeguarding concerns about St. Lawrence's church. I only went there for occasional early morning communion. 

St Andrews, First Tower:

Where do I start? This was one of the worst churches I have ever been to, Jane Fisher claims they improved it, but I don't know. 'Improved' by Jane Fisher's standards does not necessarily mean a thing.

• My first experience of St. Andrews was the churchwarden coming to sit next to me, then Lindy Taylor (the Vicar's wife)coming over and the churchwarden saying that Lindy had come to 'keep an eye on him', that should have set alarm bells ringing but I was naive. - I guess this was the chaperoning policy that failed the rest of the time.
• My second experience was right after that, Lindy talking about a vision she had of someone 'new to the church' coming in to that evening service. Oh yes, I bet she had a vision of putting the kettle on when she got home as well. Immediately the attempts to manipulate had started, as well as the fact I had immediately attracted the abusive churchwarden.
• So that was, and maybe still is, St. Andrews. I doubt that they turned into a good church under Mike Taylor.
• They used prayers and visions and even sermons, to try and control, shame and single out people in the congregation, or congregation as a whole, Neville's prayers that 'people would accept the new service patters' and the way I was slated for even asking about the new service pattern, still stands out. control through prayers is never appropriate.
• They messed with my head, discriminated against me and excluded me, they treated me as if I was a cripple and it was from them that I learned that I was disabled, 'a disabled' to be more precise, I was treated as if I couldn't do anything and I was marginalized, and the churchwarden encouraged that because he wanted to be 'the man' between me and the congregation, so that everyone went through him to speak to me, and about me, and he made me feel so small when he described back to me what people, even Janet, were saying, he seemed to enjoy that. He was not chaperoned with me as claimed, nor was he chaperoned with anyone, he was allowed to hug and touch the women in the congregation and he routinely hugged and touched a group of old women, they would pretty much be waiting for him to do it every sunday.
• Mike (Vicar) and Lindy were proven to have lied to me when they said about there being no spaces for me to steward at new wine, while I contacted new wine in the meantime and was told that there were plenty of spaces. I confronted Lindy and she brushed it off, but a small lie that hurts someone is as bad as a big lie. Basically Mike and Lindy said they would ask New Wine if I could steward, when I told them I was keen to, then they said they had asked and no stewards were wanted, then I asked New Wine and they said they were short of stewards, Mike and Lindy had no adequate answer for lying to me, but that caused me loss of confidence in myself and them and their church.
• This dishonesty continued with the churchwarden telling me that people were talking about me and him and then when I told the Taylors that, he told them it was nothing, and rather than look into it, the Taylors dismissed it and took to avoiding me.
• This continued in many ways with hurtful conversations between the Taylors and churchwarden family  about me, which broke my heart but confronting them made it worse and they blamed me.
• I was made to feel small, I was made to realise that i was less than other people. And added to the disability discrimination, the church was very very sexist, the churchwarden was part of this sexism. It was like being in the dark ages going there, I thought I should wear a long frock with skirts and a bonnet.(sarcasm).
• I was never made aware that the churchwarden had a history, the closest anyone got to making me aware was that the churchwarden himself talked of his misbehaviours and he said he had been told off at work and sacked from St. Pauls, while his wife said she was worried about his CRB check because he was hugging me! which seemed very odd and worrying. The taylors took to avoiding me and discussing me behind my back with the churchwarden and his wife, basically that, considering that they knew his history, was plain wrong.
• No-one prevented the churchwarden from taking me home, taking me out sailing or to the warehouse or being alone with me, and even when he was caught hugging me alone in the basement, the person who walked in said nothing. And at work, he stroked me inappropriately and held my hand, no-one took any notice or did anything.
• If the signs and wonders games were a bit spooky at St. Matthews, they were better set there, but at St. Andrews they were very much using signs, wonders, prayers and sermons to manipulate people, it was a grim and scary atmosphere and it still chills me to remember. If St. Matthews was borderline harmful, St. Andrews was dangerous, and caused me a lot of depression and sadness, very deep, I was looking for another church after less than six months and had profoundly lost faith in God during that time.
• Basically, that is it, it was not well run, led or integrated, the vicar was not there unless he had to be, despite only having one church, the church wardens ran the place, the singing group were so appaling that even the churchwarden used to turn the sound on the sound desk down to drown them out, but no-one ever told them. It was not a place for the isolated, vulnerable or marginalized, it was a bit like a masonic lodge, all the men in black suits were in charge. I can't think of any more to say, but Jersey is behind the times and St. Andrews had kind of got left behind. St. Andrews was trying to do a poor copy of St. Matthews and St. Pauls, the other two 'cult' churches.
• Trying to do a bullet point of what the churchwarden and his wife, (and Mike and Lindy) did in full would not work and the documents are available elsewhere so I wont.
• The New Wine Channel Islands scenario is also too long to add here and will be done separately.

St Pauls, St. Helier:

• I suppose the most memorable thing is the horrible notice on the kitchen door that was about 'what to do if a mentally ill person came in' which did not differentiate between mental illnesses and made it look like all mentally ill people were mad and needed to be captured by the authorities and locked up. Horrifying and deeply discriminatory, I do hope that it was taken down when I complained to jane Fisher.
• That, coupled with Reverend Paul Brooks being famous for 'having problems with mentally ill people', the legend that had all details omitted, went that he had 'had problems with mentally ill people coming into church. Was worrying. Why did he have problems and why did he not have training to deal with disabilities rather than treating people with mental health problems as if they were something bad?
• I was offered and then refused pastoral support at St. pauls. The offer came from someone who did not know I was shunned and condemned and when she went to ask the team to provide support, I was then shunned, by email and no proper explanation given, the real reason being that I was condemned for St. Andrews and the churchwarden (who had previously been sacked from St. Pauls), just the same thing as Phil Warren attacking me for 'what he had heard' and threatening to ban me. While Jane Fisher personally attacked me and tried to deny that there was anything wrong with this.
• I was made unwelcome when i went up for prayer, it was Ian LeMarquand who did that, made excuses when I emailed him about it, he also claimed not to know I had been abused, despite the fact that he had previously told prayer people not to touch me because I had been abused. He is well known for backing himself into corners and contradicting himself now as home affairs minister in charge of a very very messed up and badly run police force (incidentally he is one of the people who can access my police records in order to bail his Dean out as he is a church reader and one of the 'laity, who have run the hate campaign),. He is also the abusive churchwarden's friend, according to the same and he is also the former magistrate, I do wonder how he is getting on with Dame Steele and the police in the investigations! There is no doubt he will be involved in this matter, probably in a less than honest way.
• St. Pauls, as well as St. Andrews is one of the reasons I hate church and can't bear to be in a church, but I have learned to live without church. I feel small, ashamed and angry about church. 
• The woman who innocently asked for pastoral care for me and had to reject me when she was 'told about me' was a doctor, and my worst nightmare came true when I went to my surgery struggling with depression and distress and she was the Doctor, I had a meltdown, again the same as doctor Balmer, this woman from church could view my records and cause me problems, I screamed at the receptionists to close my records so that that woman could not see them. I was living a nightmare and Jane Fisher tried to tell me none of it was happening.
• The previous Bishop excused the behaviour of St. pauls and said they 'did not have the ability' or something, to offer pastoral care. what are they there for then? they aren't christians then? why, if they do not have the ability are they a) there at all, and b) not provided with training, the Bishop's excuse was appalling.
• the churchwarden was on the panel that chose Paul brooks as Vicar of St.Pauls and was close to him and the others on the evangelical alliance in Jersey and these people were supportive of the churchwarden against me, and yet the Jane Fisher denied that and the Bishop said that Paul Brooks and Mike Taylor were 'supervising' the churchwarden, yes, use his friends who have treated me badly to supervise him and ensure he feels he did nothing wrong! No wonder the Bishop added that the churchwarden was not doing as asked and refused to obey or accept responsibility, the Bishop said he would probably have to speak to the churchwarden himself! I doubt he bothered. He was coldly disinterested in the whole matter.
• St. Pauls also did something that St. Andrews and even St.Matthews sometimes did. They used sermons and prayers and parts of the service to get a non-Godly, non-Christian and very person-directed message across. I remember some weedy youth who was supposed to be 'training' doing a talk that was about 'weeding out the troublemakers' and he either said or implied that this was about the St. Paul's congregation. He said that some people caused trouble and dissent and so they had to be persuaded in a 'christian way' to leave. Oh yes? This was not aimed at me as far as I know, but it is no way  to deal with disputes in a church. Kick people out when they don't do it your way? I have never before or since heard a sermon time abused in order to tell people they are not welcome in a church!
• The signs and wonders, they did pretty much the same as St. matthews, with a slight St. Andrews lean, they appeared to use actual church notes, prayer requests and discussions to come up with their signs and wonders to manipulate emotions, very clever.
• But individuals there had their own 'visions and games' and I remember Trevor LeMaistre, just before he died, saying that someone had seen an Eagle above Jersey and that meant there was an open heaven. Oh yes? what is there an open heaven for? just to get the tingle down your spine? because the signs and wonders and games are all very well if people are behaving in a Christian way, and if they aren't then they need to put the signs and wonders aside and concentrate on that. Signs and wonders without basic Christianity shows that something is wrong.
• I was fine at St. Pauls until they 'heard about me, reacted accordingly and I reacted to them.

St Ouens:

• The way they dropped the pastoral care and the way John Harkin pointedly made sure I knew I was not welcome, still hurts, Jane Fisher's denials hurt even more, and my reaction to the least offensive of all the shunnings and wounds, the Harkins rejecting me, hurts the most.
• The way John Harkin spoke about me to the baptist lady when I was on duty at Jersey Keswick was hurtful and wrong.
• They were only minorly involved in the signs and wonders and other games but once rejected by the Harkins with no explanation, I felt rejected as a whole and by the whole church. This rejection may have been because the Harkins were close to the Dean or because Jane Fisher intervened, I will never know, I only know I was thrown away, and in everything that happened, each wound like this contributed to me falling further and further apart, I needed solid, trustworthy and open pastoral help during the time after I had reported Robb, but I never received any. And since the Dean and his wife made it very clear that they believed the Avertys over me, that would be enough reason for their friends, the Harkins, to reject me. though I have no doubt that if there was input from Jane Fisher, that would have had the same effect.
• Especially as Gerard LeFeuvre, Robb' nephew and grand master freemason and his family belonged to that church, as did Gerry Padden who had been involved through the Grace Trust, of which I was a client but the chruchearden and his wife were patrons, leaders, and probably still are, that church was no place for me.

There is no need to re-explain the Dean matter to anyone,  the notes which will be published and even the Korris report has explained it reasonably well, and Bishop Dakin has cleared the Dean and let Dame Steel proceed to clear him again. seems pointless and I am glad that everyone hates Tim Dakin.

I thought I would say something interesting here. 

The leaders of the opposition to me and the hate campaign are from Reverend Mike Lange-Smith's church at Grouville, the opposition are Philip Bailhache and Bruce Willing.

I went to french classes with Mike Lange-Smith's wife, and because of my communication problems, she often worked with me, one-to-one on French conversation while we were at college, as the tutor was very kind and understanding to me. I never had any problems with Mrs Lange-Smith, nor did she have problems with me as far as I know, she was very patient with me because of my difficulties. I knew she was a rector's wife and was worried about it but there were no problems, I wonder if the Lange-Smiths realise that I am the same person, that went to college with Mrs Lange-Smith, and they are playing a part in supporting villifying me. I was always afraid that Mrs Lange-Smith would work out that I was the one who was condemned on the grapevine in island churches -which the Korris report claims is not the case but which is the case.

• Churches I do not know well and no nothing of the safeguarding - St. Johns, St. Marys, St. Simons, St. Martins (reputed to have housed a rapist), Grouville, Gouray, Trinity. 
• Well I have heard recently that the Vicar of St. Johns is an alcoholic and did a character reference for a child abuser for court, but that is, despite being backed up by newspaper reports and a number of witnesses, not part of my experience. I have a feeling that it will be another thing that the Diocese of Winchester will overlook, because Jane Fisher appears to be a 'close the door after the horse has bolted' type safeguarding measure, with little interest in real safeguarding.
• I didn't see any problems with St. Clements or St Brelades really, apart from Jane Fisher barging in and me having been slandered to St. Brelades. 
• I have heard that there has been a safeguarding concern about St. brelades recently, but I am not aware of the details and all I can say is it sounds out of character for Mark Bond, no matter what he and his wife have done against me in response to this absolutely unfair investigation which lumps all the clergy in Jersey together as if they are all potential wrongdoers and yet omits my side of things. Last I heard was that Jane Fisher was handling this complaint the same way that she handled mine, doing nothing and hoping it went away, and I have no doubt that if the complainant complained about her, it would be treated just as my complaint against her has been.

New Wine Channel Island, another wound that affects my worship to this day, it is a mental scar:

I don't even want to write about it.

When you are branded mad and disbelieved, it can be hard to express what you see going on because you don't expect to be believed and people don't always want you to be believed. I was treated as if I had no credibility throughout the situation in Jersey.

And, that is how many abuse victims used to end up as psychiatric patients and in detention places like the industrial schools and magdalen laundries in Ireland. 

We are bad for trying to speak about incomprehensible, mad things.

New Wine Channel Islands 2008:

It was a big evangelical cult thing, run by the three/four main 'evangelical' churches, those mentioned above, St Matthews, St.Pauls, St. Ouens and St. Andrews, with input from other independent free churches in the island/s

For those running it on stage it was like a big show and they were performing. It was mainly Phil Warren and his family from Jersey and Guernsey.

I was there, and separate from the churchwarden and his wife who were also there, because I had spoken up about the churchwarden for the first time and I did not want to be near them and they did not approach me.

The Keys arrived and Bob key was kind of waffling on stage, about himself, and Daphne Key went and sat with the churchwarden and his wife, as she usually did in the town church, and apparently she asked them if I would not sit with them because she was there and they told her that was not the reason - but interestingly did not tell her the reason, so whoever they 'took advice from' (as they told me) when I said the churchwarden had abused me, it may not have been the Keys.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was fellow churchman and legal expert Philip Bailhache or Ian LeMarquand, but there is no proof.

Anyway, the church leaders and band were whipping everyone up into a frenzy, as they do and as they did. everyone including me was getting crazy and they were throwing signs and wonders and there was this and that person in the crowd who they said had this or that pain and they needed to stand up and be prayed for.

I got caught up in it and then they were going on about someone who gets angry and verbally vomits on people and that person needed healing  and if that person verbally vomited on you then you needed to hug them and that was the solution and then they said how 'poor Mike Taylor needed healing' and they all gathered round and prayed for him.

Then they got the children to lay hands on people, now this is somthing that St. matthews did as well in their church and I have omitted it and it is a safeguarding complaint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Getting children to lay hands on adults is in no way acceptable.

They then got the children to lift their arms up and form a 'prayer archway' and got the adults to walk through, this is borderline but I do not like it, but I am more concerned with them getting the children to lay hands on people which is a St. Matthews thing and I forgot it earlier.

Anyway, Mike Taylor hugged me and I was surprised and all caught up in the frenzy, so I hugged him in return, but he should have asked, shouldn't he? and it was all part of the game, about what they had said earlier about hugging someone who verbally vomits on you. I had been furious the way the Taylors and the churchwarden couple had discussed me behind my back and I had been angry with Mike and Lindy and their lies about New Wine and the way they had let the churchwarden say nothing was wrong when I went to them about what he had said and how they had treated me about my queries over the new services.

So at the time, caught up in the frenzy, I thought that I was being directed by God, that I was being admonished by God, that God had put everything right and that I was all cleansed of my bad sins against the Taylors and churchwarden couple and had to be 'good now', but inside of me I knew it was all wrong, they weren't sorry, they had done wrong and I was tired and shamed and empty, in a way that I cannot describe or explain, it did something horrible to my soul, because I had accepted it, accepted Taylor hugging me and all the things that were said. What they were doing there was incredibly manipulative and damaging.

If anyone has been in an evangelical cult, and escaped, they will know what I am saying about damage to the soul, and at the time and right up to now, it has been a wound, and so were the following events. 

After New Wine Channel Islands was over, I thought I had to change my life, I went to the Christian bookshop, such as it was, run by the churchwarden's friends who kept refusing my volunteer application because the churchwarden made me out to be his special needs charge who caused him so much stress, and I got the 'sorry prayer and bracelet'. 

I sent Lindy Taylor some flowers and an apology for being angry at the damaging way she was talking to the churchwarden about me about me.

Though I did also send some flowers to Juliet and Anne, just because they were my friends and I told all my friends I loved them. I tried to be a new person but I was exhausted inside and buzzing from this New Wine Stuff that had messed up my head, I cannot remember what else was fed into us at New Wine but I think there was a lot more than I have written and it affected me badly and I am pleased to write it down at last, share it, get it out of my soul where it has wounded me for years.

I couldn't be this 'new person' who was 'healed' by words and laying on of hands and all the stimulation at New Wine and it was not good for me.

The interesting thing was, the Taylors didn't apologize or do anything for their part when I apologized to them, but as years have passed I understand that anyone in an established position in the church of england never believe themselves to be wrong and never takes responsibility.

Anyway, it got worse, because the churchwarden didn't believe they had done any wrong or needed to take responsibility either, the churchwarden didn't admit to his wrongdoing when I went to see them and apologized for my side of things.

I had been unhappy and unwell with depression in my last months with them and also, I felt bad about speaking up about the churchwarden abusing me, I felt ashamed even though I knew he had done wrong.

I went to their house and his wife didn't want me there but the churchwarden started hugging me and said he would 'sort his wife out'.

I got down on my knees and said I was sorry about saying it was abuse, because at the time I still loved them and was very sad about it all, I knew the churchwarden had done things he shouldn't, but I was trying to excuse him, I got down on my knees and said sorry and his wife asked why I had said it and why I had implied he had raped me, but I had said he had pinned me down, which he had, a number of times, and I didn't say rape because he hadn't.

I told her it was true had said things he shouldn't but she was very upset and I didn't tell her any details.

But it was only me apologizing, not them, not the Taylors, I was emotionally messed up by New Wine Channel Islands and things never got better, not between me and the churchwarden couple and Taylors and not for me emotionally, the whole thing was very damaging to me emotionally and mentally, it is a psychological wound and I feel better for sharing it at last. 

The thing is, the whole mind games new wine thing did not ring true, and my going belly-up to it and apologizing and 'forgiving' the churchwarden couple and Taylors was not reciprocated and nor did the churchwarden take responsibility for what he had done or his wife forgive me.

Life was miserable after that, Lindy was saying how they were 'praying for me' oh yes, pray me to be who you want me to be and pray me to be 'normal' or like the  churchwarden, say my autism is an illness and pray it is healed.

Their prayers didn't work because the churchwarden continued to touch me when he saw me and continued to hurt me emotionally over 'what his wife thought of me' and how he was 'meeting with Mike Taylor to discuss whether he could 'still work with me'. etc

And I reported him after he touched me when I went bewildered to try and resolve things.

I was by then on anti-depressant sedative mix and life was hell.

It astonishes me that Bruce Willing arrogantly talks about how it is 'not in the church's gift to help me', firstly I would never want help from an Anglican church again, they have never helped me without extracting a large chunk of flesh (metaphorically) and not one helper has not invalidated what they did to help by making me responsible for any wrongdoing on their part. I suffered 13 years of damage in the Diocese of Winchester, and they are profoundly lacking in accountability and not geared up to disabled, disadvantaged and isolated people because they are more a club for the well-to-do and people secure in families than the disabled, isolated or vulnerable.
And in Jersey, the church with all the problems I have described above, need to resolve their attitude to disabled and disadvantaged people before they make judgments and they need to stop using the church as a stage to meet their own needs and return to the basics of Christianity, which are forgotten in all their games.

I do not believe that signs and wonders with the absence of basic Christianity is the right balance in a church or what God wants.

this is the initial brief account of safeguarding concerns in the Jersey Deanery.