Formal letter to Jane Fisher, Safeguarding Director of the Diocese of Winchester

To all who get a copy of this, I am asking you to witness this henious continued harm to me and ensure that I am protected and this woman is suspended and investigated as she should have been a long time ago. I only ever copy people in as witnesses, although Jane Fisher thinks it is a joke that I have to keep asking people to step in to stop her harming me.

Dear Jane Fisher,

I started writing this letter earlier this week, along with the third letter of warning to the Bishop of Winchester, this was before the Jersey Deanery started making a fuss in the press and reminding everyone that the Dean was 'cleared' by dishonesty. And the reason I started these two letters was because it has been a while since the Diocese of Winchester openly attacked me, and I have learned from experience that a while doesn't last forever and while I live and the Diocese still stands, they will harm me either directly or behind my back dishonestly as you used to do in defaming me to church people, my friends and the churches and homeless services in Winchester and beyond.

So, inspired by the trauma of the Jersey Deanery relaunching their campaign, and the lack of sleep as a result, I continue the letters of warning that only the severe trauma that I associate you with stopped me from writing before.

It is difficult to write about the severity and depth of damage that you have inflicted on me, especially as I know that as always it falls on the deaf ears and cold heart of a woman without remorse or conscience and who will remain unrepentant, cold as a stone and happy to go on harming me indefinitely.

Therefore I have copied the police into this email and have to remind them that as yet, they have done nothing to protect me from your illegal actions which allowed you to get me a criminal record when I responded in anguish and trauma to you previously. I want your illegal actions to stop for good, and I want to be assured that they will stop for good, rather than me living in fear of you and your police for the remainder of my life, it is bad enough that you have ensured by the record you got me, that I can never work again and will always be in grinding poverty and open to abuse and homelessness and hunger, and more than likely to be further maltreated by the police who have me as mad and bad on record if I am abused again, well, unsurprisingly, I have been physically, verbally and sexually abused on the streets and in the underworld accommodation which is all I can ever get after what has happened, and as I said, the police are there to harm me, not protect me or bring justice when I am abused, because you have branded me.

I will never recover from the way the police treated me, the bruises they left and the gaping and unhealable psychological wounds they have left, I am branded for life and there is no therapy and no cure for what you did in illegally interfering in my private life in Jersey, illegally liasing with authorities in Jersey, violating me in prison, slandering me remorselessly to all churches and my friends in Winchester, leaving me alienated and branded in my home town, as if the trauma of being made homeless and losing my job in such a terrible way and being imprisoned was not enough. You had me repeatedly beaten and imprisoned by police for reacting in confusion and anger and trauma to your violations of me in Winchester. Horrific, and absolutely unforgivable. There are no words to describe what you put me through. None, it remains so traumatic that I usually cannot think about it, I suffer flashbacks and nightmares daily and nightly, and will do forever.

I had to change my name to try and escape both from you and from the bad name that you got me on record that meant I was treated like dirt by services and outreach wherever I went and was unable to get the very urgent psychological help that I needed, and that added to my trauma and desparation, it is only a miracle that I chose to live when you took from me everything I had lived for, my identity, friends, my family- who abandoned me because of the situation, my home, my work, my career, my health, my privacy and dignity - they made me strip and examined me, and after being sexually abused that was horrific. You have had me finger-printed so I will always be vulnerable to police no matter what my name is, you have had me destroyed, and again, it is a miracle and nothing else, that I go on living, a horrible miracle because part of me is dead, and in every way I am crippled b by what you have done against me, and what makes it worse is that throughout this horrific 7-year rape of me, you have pretended to care and have 'prayed for me', as I said, you have no conscience, you are like an obsessed stalker, obsessed with making me suffer and seeing me suffer.

What astounds me, but not so much since I have seen the depths of wickedness and deceit from Ashenden, Key, Bailhache, Birt and the rest of the freemason-clergy-lawyer-church clique, is that you call yourself a safeguarding director, that you boast that you are passionate about safeguarding, and yet you have done this damage to me, relentlessly, slandering me, protecting my abusers, taking everything from me, and yet, you still feel qualified to preach in a church, you still use God's Name after taking a human life to protect yourself from discipline and to protect the Church's reputation. 

If you believe in God, believe this, you are not going to heaven, you are not going to be fine and alright with God, you have stolen a life and left someone living in hell on earth, and until you completely rectify this, and admit your wrongdoing, that continued denials such as the Korris rubbish compound, you are hell-bound, you are going to hades, and that is not a spiteful thing to say, it is the truth, you remain without remorse and without conscience and I remain defenceless and at risk from your continued unchecked violations of me in my community and my churches, and I can trust no-one to help me and can only feel shame that I am trying to be me but reality is that, as has happened for 7 years, being me isn't enough to stop you overriding everything I am in slandering me to anyone and any church or place or community I bond with, and driving me out.

As well as not being Christian, what you have created is as far from safeguarding as it is possible to get.

I grew up in hell, I came into the real world maladjusted and had to finally stop my parents from calling me to terrify me with prophecies of death and armageddon, I have two blissful years in Winchester until, aged 19, the church of England started their as yet unfinished process of destroying me and preventing me from devloping into healthy adulthood. Juliet Montague aided this by denying I had anything wrong with me such as autism and saying I was just acting out, while she acted unprofessionally in taking me home when she was supposed to be my counsellor, using me to replace Sally and allowing Fred to do to me what he alledgedly did to Sally, and so it went on, and who was laughing at me in the street in Winchester in 2010 when you left me homeless after having me imprisoned? Fred Montague, who you continued to protect and provide for, while slandering me to the whole of my old benefice and all my old friends.

After the severe trauma of hearing your lies to court and police in Sussex, I went on the run and changed my name, but I was aware how vindictive and obsessed you were and are, and I knew without any doubt you would keep coming after me, possibly continue to provoke me and slander me and have me imprisoned for my reaction, and I cannot tell you the depth of despair that can cause, you with the police on your side, with social services on your side, refusing to protect me and illegally referring me to a  mental health worker who was at a daycentre I fled because of you, I knew I was powerless to stop you harming me and that has remained the case, I suffered illegal interventions, refusal of help and treatment, and just plain nastiness as I fled you and sussex and tried to get the help I needed to recover from a level of trauma that nearly killed me.

As I write this I am listening to the song that I used to listen to on the Streets of London at a time when I knew I was going to die, because I was so horrifically damaged, here is the song that kept me going: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0KqDmvlSyw

To me, it is a pity your counterpart, Scott-Joynt has gone to hell without facing justice on earth, but at least he has gone to hell, there is no room in heaven for the kind of actions and behaviours that you and he have committed and God is and will be very displeased indeed. All the pomp and ceremony in the world for a man in a dress and a silly hat,  who has lots of money and oppresses the poor and vulnerable will not change the fact that he goes to hell, and neither will your expert cover-ups and pretences of care change the fact that that is where you are going unless you repent and put right your horrific misconduct. What astounds me is that the Diocese of Winchester have allowed you to remain both in a readership position and a safeguarding position, they are invalidating their insurance by employing an abuser in those positions, and you are an abuser, and no cover-ups, no pretences of care and no attacks on me will EVER change that, the Diocese are aware I have complained, I have complained multiple times, I have complained to the police after you jeered by adding me on twitter last year and left me in collapse, and as ever, your Jimmy Savile Style getting away with anything and everything continues.

In 2013, I was just beginning to think maybe I had made it, and escaped you. I had suffered an episode of major depression and was overcoming that, and seeing a good psychologist, I had just had whooping cough and pneumonia, I had tried to live indoors briefly, and couldn't because I was still so afraid that you and your police would come and get me and trash me again, as I still am. 

Then the most horrific two years of being destroyed was launched on me, and here I am, still suffering it, and for how long? 

The police who you and Scott-Joynt used to destroy me for speaking up and for reacting to you destroying me, came after me with the most pathetic and insipid rubbish I had ever heard, they claimed that 'The Bishop of Winchester wanted to put me in church groups' it was ridiculous, you drove me from every church in Winchester, nastily, slandering me, so that I came into a church and heard your side, that I was mad and bad and had done all these things, the unrepentant woman slandering me then turned on me, she didn't know I was autistic or had been abused, she only knew your side of things.

So anyway, I was now being hounded by your police who you had destroyed me with before, the ones who ignored my side of things, blotted it out, refused to protect me from you, and called me mad for counter-complaining that you were provoking me, the ones who dragged me by the scruff of my neck so my chest was exposed, the ones who knocked me around, broke my laptop, messed with my things, presumably stole my driving licence so that I am even less likely to ever get a job. Those police who destroyed me came after me for you, with the insane message that the Bishop wanted to put me in church groups. Insane beyond belief, you drove me from my home town of Winchester, shattered my friendships which had mainly lasted 10 years or more and I needed those friends after my background and what I had been through and I watched them turn away in disgust, another wound that has never, will never heal, nor will the broken trust, which combined with the very real possibility of you violating me and my relationships or the slander reaching any person or any church I get to know, leaves me isolated and fearful, unable to heal.

So, these police traced me so that you could thrust your work of art in destroying me on me, did you hope this cover up, the Korris report, which should be called the Fisher report, would kill me? It certainly nearly did, it is and always will be, your cherry on the cake of covering up for yourself and destroying me, you can't better it, so don't bother to have the other whitewashes released.

The Korris report, a non-independent report by a church counsellor, is about as independent as the Bishop's deceased solicitor was from the Church, and again, how horrifying it is that a church that claims to be Christian has to have integral lawyers and barristers. Jesus wouldn't, the pharisees would. Basically the church can abuse the vulnerable with impunity and be protected, as you have done to me.

The Korris report claims to be independent, well it was written by a church counsellor, backed up by Coverup-Sloss, the famous church protector/member, and Korris didn't have enough knowledge to even understand autism and thought she would try to change the diagnosis given by the Maudsley, which is impressive, considering that they are world leaders, she furthered that by trying to make me out to be self-daignosed. Do I need to go on? Actually yes I do, because this whole seven years of you destroying me with impunity and being unchallenged is beyond the pale, it is indeed a Jimmy Savile type henious injustice, seven years of you blatantly covering up for the church at my expense, seven years of being voiceless and treated as mad as I cried out in anguish for you to stop hurting me, seven years of illegal liasons with authorities by you, to defame me and protect the church, seven years of you abusing me.

Did you check the Korris report for accuracy? It was written from your notes and contains so many grossly misleading inaccuracies, mainly to protect you and Scott-Joynt and make you look good. You, as safeguarding director of the diocese of Winchester, are responsible for the publication of a defamatory and inaccurate report that was not amended even when I sent the amendments to you and Korris and the Diocese, and to be honest, I never finished the amendments, the report was such utter unprofessional rubbish that it astonishes me that the Diocese of Winchester proudly published it all over the web and sent copies to the police as if it was fact, that in itself constitutes a whole list of crimes including defamation, misleading the police, misleading the general public, and refusing to remove or amend this report until I took the Bishop of Winchester to court, the report was up until I did that, and it was then removed, but not from the many websites archiving it, nor did removing it remove the way I had been severely defamed internationally, to the point of nearly leading me to take my own life. It was not removed out of care for me, it was removed to save the Bishop's skin. And again, how cold, callous and completely lacking in safeguarding the diocese of Winchester truly is.

What I do not understand is, why you did not get enough out of defaming me internationally with that report, which is effectively just a massive act of defamation against  a hurt and homeless vulnerable adult, a report you had no choice about as you were forced to allow an internal investigation, but you hijacked it as best you could, and used it and me as a PR stunt for the Diocese, one that went badly wrong but you kept pushing it, after defaming me in the national press so that my friends and supporters turned away and I had to leave college, you kept the Korris report up, the Dean's fake apology that never reached me, after the Bishop threatened me for contacting you and begging and begging you to stop harming me, I was threatened, and you refused to stop the smear campaign or safeguard me as you had me publicly driven because it was easy for people to realise the report was about me. Then you went to Jersey to continue your illegal liasons with the police there about me, there is a witness account of that from Jersey.

So, all of a sudden the police were trying to force me to bring charges against my abusers who you destroyed me for while protecting me, and at the same time, despite me re-iterating a formal complaint against you, which was never dealt with, again, you were allowed to illegally refer me to the NSPCC, which was utterly sick. You and the Bishop left me in collapse with the threat of the Steel whitewash being released, a report much worse than Korris as it was created by the supporters of the man who was supposed to be under investigation, the Dean of Jersey, and at the same time the intrusion of the corrupt and brutal Jersey police, while you illegally referred me to the NSPCC and the Bishop sickeningly, dupliciously used that in his press release, claiming that you had 'worked hard across the diocese to get me help and he was praying that I accepted it', while at the same time he called me 'lost last and least' which is sickening arrogance from a man who has failed as a Bishop in the way that he has. He then cleared the Dean, while I remained voiceless, with no investigation having included me.

But it hasn't stopped there, the press attacks on me never stopped, the sickening Church Times one last year caused me a minor breakdown, and why? Because The Church Times won't report my side, they simply libel me from the Korris report and the Jersey Deanery's smears of me in the Church times and other press and media, because you have never set the record straight, never ensured my side is heard because it incriminates YOU, and you have never at any point stopped or countered the slander of me in the press and media, you have left me to suffer it all alone and counter it as best I can, and I have never stopped the wave after wave of harm to me, it is wearing me down, it is making a grim, hopeless and poverty-stricken life even worse.

You and the Bishop arranged illegal liason with officer Gull of Jersey Police, to clear the police of wrongdoing, produce another whitewash with the sham Jersey safeguarding board, you enabled Gull and Steel to illegally access my inaccurate records that your previous interference while I was in Jersey affected, made inaccurate, in order to cover up for you and Scott-Joynt. 

And still you haven't at any point done anything about safeguarding issues in the Jersey Deanery, I am still being destroyed. The Korris report, Steel report and other sham reports do not represent a balanced and fair investigation into my concerns nor a balanced investigation into what happened to me or what happened in Jersey, this is because they are conflicted, whitewashes, influenced by wrongdoers and excluding my side of things.

So as well as withdrawing your reign of terror which prevents me from living, you, as the person responsible for all this harm to me, are to call anindependent investigation 

into what has happened to me, starting when I was 19, and continuing to now. No more accusing me of abusing my abusers, no more allowing me to be smeared by conflicted bullies like Sentaor Bailhache and Sir Michael Birt, the Church of England is entirely responsible for every distress and illeness I suffer as a result of those powerful thugs who represent the church and show why the Church of England no longer has a place in society.

You are the coldest and most unpleasant person I have ever met, and you seem to have made it your aim to destroy me, and undoubtedly another police beating or another public national shaming of me would finish me off, but nonetheless, I will fight back, and even if I die, my fighting will remain and I will be free from a ruined and irreparably shattered life and soul.

One of many notable points about the Korris fiasco is that your and the Diocese claim it was about the Dean's behaviour when yours has been so much worse, the report claims he was perceived as not neutral and yet I have an email from you from when I was in Jersey, when you tell me he is neutral, at a time you were bulldozing me and demanding that I saw the Dean when I had made it very clear I wouldn't because of his behaviour, and despite your excuse for the Korris report being about the Dean having me put away without 'proper records' YOU and Scott-Joynt were named in court and on statements as his witnesses, so the whole massive fiasco doesn't actually add up, the discrepancies are prolific like that and it all needs to be examined.

I must warn you, because this is a letter of warning about your actions against me, that liasing with police, authorities, my friends, family, the media, services, outreach, or any agency without my consent and behind my back has been, is, and will be an act of harassment, and you know that, and you have consistently and constantly caused me harm, you are to cease and desist and you are responsible for every bit of harm done to me by these actions, and no information gained illegally this way is valid and you have and are committing a crime by every act of intrusion and harassment against me this way, and I will keep reminding the police to warn you to leave me alone, and if all else fails, I will take you to court. I think even if the Diocese pay for you to see their replacement-for-the-deceased solicitor, the only way forward in the event of the police still refusing to protect me from you is to make sure you stand in the dock while I tell the court what you have inflicted on me, and how the Diocese have received complaints against you, and how you have simply gone on and on and on harming me, making sure my story is covered and smothered to remove my credibility, what a shocking and sick way to destroy someone.

From now on you are not to, as you shouldn't have in the past:

• contact my friends
• contact my family
• slander me to churches, organizations, agencies or bodies who may help me
• contact any church and 'warn them against me' as you have done so often, causing me horrific anguish, while protecting my abusers in their churches, as they remain protected and respected while I am destroyed, they are not having breakdowns, being slandered or living in fear, the church looks after them.
• produce, contribute to, publish or in any way play a  part in, any report that defames and demoralizes me or misleads the police, the general public or the press, as the Korris report did and the Steel report and shame safeguarding board report would.
• malign or belittle me in any way
• publish any further infortmation about me and my life
• contact anyone about me with the intention of harming me, covering up for yourself or manipulating a situation such as you did in liasing with the police.
• attend meetings about me, as you are not capable of safeguarding, you are do not have any capacity in which to attend meetings about me.
• make malicious police complaints about me with the aim of having me put away as not mad and not credible and silenced, as you repeately have, the police need to understand that I am not insane and they need to take my complaint in full against you, not beat me and fling me in a cell as if I was mad and it was punishable by imprisonment, I have never recovered, and those police committed misconduct in refusing to protect me from you.
• make illegal referrals.

You are to:

• Stop harming me and assure me that this sick charade of 7 years will stop and I will be interviewed properly about my side, after all, that is safeguarding isn't it, including all sides, not just those of the abusers who  you upheld for 7 years.
• Ensure that an independent investigation is launched, if you don't understand what independent means, look it up.
• Rectify the damage done by the international defamation of me by the Korris report and the smear campaign
• Ensure something is done about the still not recorded or acknowledged safeguarding issues in Jersey, you can refer to my blog for that, I have just put a new post up.
• Ensure that my character is cleared, ie that people know I am not mad and bad, you labelled me to cover for yourself and I was severely traumatized, suffering injustice and had been regressed to childhood before suffering police beatings etc.
• Resign, if you have a conscience, which I doubt, you have inflicted massive unhealable damage, you are dishonest and you have furthered the damage to me relentlessly by your continued dishonestly and refusal to be responsible for your wrongdoing. You can[t stand before God after what you have done, so you have no right to hold church positions, and as for safeguarding, it is beyond belief that you are still in that job and claim to be anything to do with safeguarding.

I hold you responsible for all the harm to me, what you have done is far  far worse than sexual abuse, worse than rape, as I have often said to you. 

I would like the police to protect me from you, I would like the court to protect me from you, I would like any authority or witness to this email to protect me from you, I would like to be free from you after years of being crushed and rubbished by you as you have protected wrongdoers and treated me like dirt. I would like to know I am free from you to crawl on to the end of a completely shattered life in relative peace.

sincerely,

HG