28/11/2011 from 'Homeless' I may have already posted this

The painkillers are making me too sleepy, this is not good for a homeless person, I have been taking the lowest dose possible, and they do work, but I think I will stop taking the strong ones and just take the anti-inflammatory ones and hope the doctor agrees to the dreaded injections that will help me to walk without any tablets.

On Facebook I have access to a survivors organisation, and at one point someone started a facebook campaign to get rid of the survivors organization, they were very unsuccesful, but it shows just how much ill feeling there can be with regards to abuse matters, people don't want to hear about clergy abuse, they want to hide and say everything is ok, that everything is ok in their church or that they haven't done anything wrong and don't want to acknowlege the consequences of any abuse they have inflicted, this is why it surprises me that no-one has yet tried to remove my blog or any of the posts.

The more I hear of the church the more I wonder what on earth the future of the world is when people go into the church to escape the evil of the world and be safe and in church the evil is very much present but disguised, sanctioned, excused and covered up in a way that it isn't in any other organisation or place in the world, the church have complete policy systems and laws to cover up and to protect the church from liability, these laws also protect the abusers, but the victims are the people who are not protected or helped or acknowledged except in a certain way that is also done to protect the church.
The unheard scream is 'where is Jesus in all this', and if the church should chance to hear this scream they respond with finger wagging lectures about 'forgiveness' and reproaches, as if that is any sort of answer.
when are things going to change? My wish, and my dying wish if I don't survive the way the church have crippled me and left me invalidated as a person is that the church should lose their right to be exclusive, that they are audited on abuse cases and misconducts by organizations outside the church, they will scream about that being unfair because of prejudice and secular organizations being against them, but isn't it better for this destroyal of lives by the church systems to stop? To me a human life is the most valuable thing on this earth, and a vulnerable life should be protected, but the church, who are supposedly following Christ, place no value at all on a vulnerable human life when it comes to the matter of abuse and the issue of the church protecting themselves against scandal.
Isn't it time that the church are no longer immune from legal actiions due to their status, and are no longer treated as being truthful and righteous when they are not being, time they were no longer allowed to be such a big voice that they drown out the smaller voices of abuse victims who try to stand up to them?
I want to see all this change, I want victims to no longer be shamed into silence, and the church that is part of the government in this country should be held to account just as other government departments supposedly would be if their staff had hundreds of abuse and misconduct allegations made against them every month, and especially as the church themselves are not actually practicing what they preach each week, are not following Christ's teachings, Christ Himself was homeless, poor, wounded by the church of the day, He didn't live in a palace and have servants and a big salary. The church will cry out that secular intervention would be 'prejudiced' and 'damaging to the faith', but that is indeed what their own policies and procedures towards abuse are anyway.

I will continue this another time. I am sleepy.