Sunday, 9 March 2014

What really happened, Bob Hill, Julie Wallman and the breakdown that they and the Church caused me in November 2013

Bob Hill got involved in my case initially without my consent, producing blogs that weren't and could not be accurate because he was producing them from information from the Korris report, which is a load of rubbish that injures me and covers up for Jane Fisher's wrongdoing.

I was injured to read Bob's blogs initially but was fascinated and astonished by the comments in support of me, hence me getting in touch with Bob.

Bob then took over, wanting all the information, which I was simply too traumatised to share, and trying to state 'facts' that weren't facts, and as time went on, his 'statement of facts' started to cause me to break down, he didn't seem to have any understanding of how traumatized I was and how damaging it was for him to keep putting me through what had happened and still not being prepared to accept my side of things.

For example, he refused over and over again to accept my side of what happened with the police, reminiscent of Jane Fisher telling me that the Dean was neutral and that I was to see him again about my complaint when I was in Jersey, you cannot tell someone with autism that what happened to them didn't.

So, early on, I had bulldozer Bob nearly drive me to suicide from Trauma, in May 2013, I think, and those of you who are outraged about me saying anything against Bob, have you any idea the cost to me of him inaccurately representing me and refusing my side of things?

The Jersey police dispute, what happened, and what Bob claims.

I was not given a 'warning' about the Dean, I returned from 3 weeks on the run in the UK as a result of Jane Fisher and Tracy working together to try and have me put away. I was told I had to see the police, the policeman waffled and said that it was to do with Jane Fisher and an 'allegation of harassment form' and that it was about getting both sides of things and he said about the Dean being swept under the carpet, he wrote on a bit of paper, he got the woman from victim support to sign it, he said it was an 'allegation of harassment form' and that it didn't even go on my file.
 I was not given a warning about the Dean, nor was I in any contact with the Dean, nor had I been apart from going to his house to protest about his refusal of responsibility and his protection of the Churchwarden, I did not go there swearing and shouting as claimed in court, and did not swear or shout, the Dean called me wicked and said I was not abused and that I 'went round doing this to everyone' stating I had 'done the same to the Lihous and JM and FM, not explaining what exactly or why he was in a position to judge or the difference between FM abusing me and the Lihous not abusing me.

Bob Hill's version of events is that I got a harassment order and that it was collectively about the Dean and the Diocese, and Bob Hill has called me a liar over this and given me a breakdown.
I did not receive a harassment order, I was not told that, I was told that what was written was an allegation of harassment form and that it did not go in my file.

Bob Hill has never accepted my side of things, never even been willing to hear my side of things, and instead of representing my case, he has called me a liar, he has refused to read and accept documents I sent him, over and over, coming out with his own version of events and basing these on the Korris Rubbish rather than my story, which has been hell for me, over and over, telling him, with an increasingly failing voice, what happened to me, but he repeats the same inaccuracies from Korris that protect Jane Fisher and deny my experiences, especially with the police.

It became increasingly clear that my case was fodder for Bob's vendetta against 'injustice' and 'lack of human rights' in Jersey, as he went on and on about my arrest and deportation, seemingly forgetting that I was a human being and he was injuring me by making me relive the trauma but still refusing my side of things and refusing to acknowledge or accept what had happened to me on my return to Winchester, making this out to be just about me 'visiting the Bishop and getting arrested', when in reality the Bishop and Jane Fisher maligned and defamed me to all authorities and police and churches in winchester and the police refused to deal with my complaint and protect me, and instead treated me as if I was mad.

I was shouted at, I was spoken about in terrible ways, and Winchester, formerly my home town, became a place of shame and horror for me, where after the terrible events in Jersey, I was not allowed to find peace but was branded and treated terribly.
Bob refused all this, and the Diocese having me brutalized and detained by police on 14/02/13 and repeatedly claimed it was all about me visiting the Bishop - from the Korris report again,
Bob was not interested in the injustice there but preferred to go on pushing the Jersey arrest and deportation matter, still omitting my side of it and making me out to be  me a liar when I told him my side.
Having a mediator who wont believe you or take in your side of things is terribly wounding.

Having sent Bob statements as attachments, I was very upset that he obviously never read them, and sometimes claimed that he could not open them and that thus no-one else who was sent them could read them, which was rubbish because they were opened and read by others, I sent him everything by email instead, he still didn't read them.
He proceeded to publish links to the Korris report and publish rubbish from the Korris report that injured me, notably when he published a whole load of the rubbish on VoiceforChildren's blog and left me in collapse. Voice was kind enough to remove that rubbish but nonetheless it became increasingly hard for me to believe in Bob Hill because he was hurting me with the report, and simply refused to stop. Doing it his way, as always.
It remains to this day that Bob Hill upholds a report that severely severely damaged me and led to me being shunned and shamed yet again in my community after what fisher had done to me in winchester and beyond.

 The Korris report severely injures me to cover Jane Fisher's back. It is not an accurate representation of my experiences, and if Bob was on my side, he should have been prepared to hear my story rather than driving me mad with a report that does not represent me.
I am in wholehearted agreement with the Jersey Deanery in their attempt to have the Korris rubbish removed from the Diocesan website, it is henious rubbish that should not have been produced let alone published all over the web to humiliate and degrade me or any member of the church.

November last year was truly the end, after suffering from March last year, everything went terrible in November.

One thing that went wrong was Deputy Mike Higgins, playing this game that deputies in Jersey do of baiting the real politicians in Jersey, and he used my name in vain, without consulting me and without warning, asking the home affiars minister, who is a church reader and friend of my abuser, why I was deported in my pyjamas, which the home affairs minister denied, even though I was, and so I was libelled by the home affirs minister and by the JEP, traumatizing me. Higgins had nothing to say to me when I emailed him, and neither did Bob Hill, his close friend and colleague. And if that wasn't bad enough, Higgins did the same again recently, sparking lies about safeguurding in Jersey attempting to contact me for my views for a report that is apparently already written and claims that I didn't suffer any misconduct from the police.#
For me this is doubly traumatic, I still cannot express what happened to me in Jersey, firstly because I am too traumatized and secondly because Bob Hill has rubbished my experiences and overriden them with his version of events.
I am well aware that Jersey safeguarding will proceed with this, another damning report without even trying to contact me and will claim that they did, and all Higgins has done is brought this to my attention and made me suffer it.

What Bob Hill and Mike Higgins do not understand is that you cannot help someone, nor can you advocate human rights, if you do these things without the person's consent, not even warning them, and if you do not warn someone with autism that you are doing something like that, you can cause them terrible shock, as this did, twice.

Anyway, back to November. Duped.

Bob wanted me to make contact with a woman called Julie Wallman, who claims to be a film writer, producer etc etc, she claimed to want to help me, and because I am open to open and honest help, so I agreed to meet with Julie.
I had no idea if her film career was real and didn't care, past experiences of people making things up mean that I am quite happy to listen, take things with a pinch of salt and enjoy agreeable company.

She went on about how she would get me involved on set and how we would make a movie together, and as I am sure any neurotypical would, I though 'here we go', because you don't make plans like that when you first meet someone.

She then told me she would share some of her background with me, talking about her past in Jersey, talking about an alcoholic mother and a terrible childhood.
But then she decided to tell me something else, and it stands out that she told me she ' had to close her eyes to tell me'.
Basically because she was lying. And we both knew it, and it sickens me.

She claimed that she had gone back to Jersey as an adult with her 'film career' and Philip Bailhache had taken her under his wing and been her mentor, (yeah, of course), and she had been getting on great with him until he presided as a judge over her boyfriend's case and put him in prison for 12 months.
 Yeah.

I don't think I believed this even at the time, especially with the eyes closed bit.

She went on about Philip Baihache's liberation day speech next.Saying it was a knife or something to all jersey abuse victims.

anyway, with me presumably swallowing it all, hook, line and sinker, because I am an idiot, we moved on to the next stage, also very fake and staged. And also containing lies.

It was all about accommodation, she wanted to get me housed.
She kept going on about me having a door where I can shut the world out. She didn't realise that police break doors down and diocese can make life hell anywhere you stay long enough.

I wasn't fully aware that it was a set-up by then, but I had misgivings. I had stayed in a bed and breakfast the night before, somewhere I sometimes stayed for respite.
Julie wanted their contact details so she could arrange for me to stay longer while we organized me a home, and because I believed her to be independent and a friend of Bob Hill's, I trusted her with this.

Bob has always yapped on about how I don't trust people and I should, he completely misses the point and what has happened to me when he does that, because in this case, as in any where I feel I am on neutral or safe ground, I trust, and yet again my trust was violently betrayed.
Bob needs to change the broken record and actually look at why and where I trust and don't trust, for example I gave him my trust straight away and he has betrayed it.

Anyway, this Julie told me she was going to claim to be my cousin and arrange for me to stay at the bed and breakfast on pretence that I had a thesis to work on and that I needed peace and quiet. She was lying, she did nothing of the kind.
She told me she would have to go and make the call privately, which aroused my suspicion at once.
And the fact is, she lied to me, which was confirmed by the bed and breakfast manager, I wonder how Bob Hill continues to try and tell me I should trust? After all that?

So, it was arranged for me to go and stay in the bed and breakfast, and Julie wanted me to read her 'scripts' and said she would get me 'on set' and she would meet me again soon when her 'cheque' for a film came through.
I was not really comfortable with her paying for me, i am not a user no matter what the wicked judgemental church say, I am in poverty and thus sometimes dependent, but I went to the bed and breakfast, and I read the 'scripts', and I worried, because I knew the situation was unnatural and risky.

Julie and Bob came up with ideas of getting my story heard, a lawyer and a journalist, and Bob put together a statement and again it was inaccurate rubbish from Korris rather than my story, I was instantly traumatized and wanted to commit suicide and told him I would if he did it again, and i wasn't joking, every time I have had to see my story distorted to cover fisher's back in the past year, I have wanted to die because I cannot live with the lies against me.
So then Julie was screaming mad at me for being angry and distressed, and she was telling me Bob had worked so hard on that lying rubbish, and Bob was telling me to 'go and read the scripts Julie gave me', so suddenly instead of a mediator I had this couple, Bob and Julie, inseparable and screwing with my life.



Julie then said she couldn't afford to support me and she was going to set John Gladwin on me, well after being let down by Gladwin and his colleague Christine Daly, the idea that I was being called a burden and thus deserved Gladwin who let me down, violating my life and privacy and security when I was in a vulerable and traceable place, was horrifying! I could not believe Bob had let me be set up.
But he had. And I was defenceless, traceable and felt in immediate danger of police attacks by the diocese.

But Julie and Bob then claimed they wouldn't alert Gladwin.

Julie then said to forget the lawyer and the journalist and that she wanted to just get me housed, this sudden statement after threatening to set gladwin on me, told me that there was something wrong here, but I could prove nothing, although I made it very clear to Julie that I was unhappy about this and did not trust her.
She started on about how a 'rich friend might help her with housing me' but this was not acceptable to me. I believed by now that things were wrong, and that Bob Hill was allowing things to be wrong. But I didn#'t know until that saturday that they had betrayed me.

Julie sent a very strange email to me and Bob in the early hours of the morning, it just read 'you guys are the best!'.
To me, this looked like either a drunken email or from someone very vulnerable and friendless, I was immediately concerned for her and carried out a conversation through the early hours with her, I wondered if either she or Bob knew that vulnerable survivors should not work to try and heal other survivors, and that it was really bad for one vulnerable person to help another as a panacea for their own problems, an example is Jill Lihou taking over my life and other lives because of her mental illness, with disasterous results.

Anyway, I didn't have much time to worry as the full-blown attack was launched within the next few days.

Bob and Julie, instead of contacting Gladwin who had let me down, contacted Christine Daly, his colleague who had let me down even more by her promises that never came to anything, of more meetings that would tell my story.

So they went behind my back, contacted someone who let me down, put me at immediate risk from the church of england and caused me a breakdown.

But I didn't know, and found out by accident.
It was the diocese, launching an attack at the same time that exposed it.

This was around November 19th?
The Bishop emailed me in his usual bullying way, refusing as ever to go through Bob, demanding that I read his emails or 'get a friend to read them', he had aggressively approached me in this way in the summer and I had spent 24 hours telling him in every way possible that he was not to email me and not to jeer about me getting friends to open emails, as the diocese took all my dearest friends from me in 2010 and 2011 and had me publicly humiliated in a way that I will never recover from.


Anyway, I freaked, it was a Saturday and I tried to contact Bob Hill but he was out for his bike ride so I contacted Julie, as, against my wishes, they were liasing about me all the time.
I was startled to say the least, by her reaction.
She was in Jersey and she told me not to panic and that she would fly home.
Now that is a strange reaction isn't it? That she would give up her holiday with her boyfriend, presumably the one that Bailhache put in prison and fly home because the Diocese had launched on me? No, something was very odd about this.

But I had no idea what.

Until Bob came on line, and he started saying it must be something to do with his and Julie's discussions with Christine Daly, that the diocese had intervened.
I absolutely hit the roof, I was furious and Bob refused to stay online and talk to me after breaking that horrifying news, I had been violated, and they couldn't even be bothered to help me to calm down and cope, they just left me in a shocked state, with aggression from the diocese and the knowledge that I was no longer safe and hidden.

I had a collapse and temporarily lost use of my right hand side, again, thankfully it didn't last long, it has happened a few times, but my top right spine and skull are damaged and it possibly stems from that and shock.

Anyway, I was furious, I had been betrayed and had put all my personal details at risk from Julie, and thus Christine and the police. Bob and Julie offered no reassurance, Bob accused me of making them ill, well I wonder what he thought they had done to me then! Apparently he didn't care. And that is what gets me about this, what excuse do they have for violating me but a pretence of care? And how did they react to my anguish? Any reassurance or comfort? No, Bob claimed his patience was wearing thin, and as ever, omitting my side of things, went on about how I had been so nasty and unkind to him all the time.
Well then, when did he ever take my side of my story and represent me accurately and not traumatizing me with the Korris rubbish? When? Did he expect me to be nice when he made me relive the police and prison? And then rubbished me repeatedly over it?

Anyway, I told the Diocese where to get off, they got a legal letter from me.

I also explained to Christine Daly why her involvement was henious. Put as politely as possible.
I think it is very strange how since then Bob has called these Church people a shower of creeps, but yet he allowed them to seriously harm me by betraying me to them.


Anyway, I was now in collapse, terrified of every movement in the bed and breakfast because I expected the police, I knew I could jump out the window but police would probably be round the back as well, I was terrified and could not sleep.
I was completely without support or safety, I could now be traced, identified and utterly destroyed.

Then I was getting emails from the nspcc on behalf of the diocese, so I warned them for harassment and barely managed to convey on the blog at the time my revulsion and disgust that I had been set upon by a peadophile harbouring charity that did nothing for me in 17 years suffering with my family.

It has been more recently I have shared that more coherently, but the diocese had no right to refer me anywhere without my consent, and it disgusts me beyond belief that fisher, who destroyed me and who I have made numerous formal complaints against, was allowed to jeer by setting the nspcc on me, after the Korris cover up of her behaviour which Bob Hill believes, after the way she destroyed me and got me a police and sectioning record, fisher was allowed to illegally refer me to the nspcc.
So the nspcc got a copy of the legal letter.

Then the Bishop of Winchester released one of the silliest press releases anyone has ever heard, claiming the steel report could not be released due to legal action, well I have no idea who took legal action or why, but it set the Ould bully off jeering and claiming firstly that I didn't have the intelligence to take action and then that it might have been me that took action.

It was not me that stopped the Steel report, I believe it was the same person who has destroyed me, as if that would change the fact that she has destroyed me and that she should be sacked.
I remain unprotected from the diocese and thus unable to live, knowing that I am branded on all records and my side remains omitted from all reports and that eventually the Diocese will, directly or indirectly kill me, living as I am on an unstable foundation of a criminal and sectioning record that omits my side, means anyone can abuse me and i cannot report them and that the police, as and when they get me, can beat me to death, something they frequently do to vulnerable people and never face action. I have suffered repeated police brutality that has never been brought to justice, it affects me profoundly each day and is not something I will ever be able to recover from, especially as it will not be acknowledged nor will the injustice of why the police got me and did not also deal with the diocese.

Anyway, the Bishop's silly statement didn't go down well, and I wrote one in reply, I was not impressed that the Bishop was using the same prayers-to-control -people rubbish that Satandrews used to use, ie saying he 'prayed I would accept the 'help' (violation) that the diocese offered.
After what fisher has done to me, and after all the money wasted on villifying me in the past year, setting a peadophile harbouring ineffective children's charity on me was the biggest insult they could have come up with, and the Bishop added to it by claiming to be 'called to help the lost the last and the least', well I guess he had better refer himself and his diocese to the nspcc then!

I had been suffering waiting for the Steel report to destroy me, and that had been adding terribly to the other stresses such as Julie and Bob, I still do not understand why they betrayed me to my destroyers at the point I was about to be destroyed, but Bob had no answer but blame of me.

Bob had apparently met with Steel during this November period, but being without my story, Bob had to ask me if the henious lies she repeated from her report were true.
At the time that caused  me to be sick too. Apparently it was claimed that I went round threatening people in their homes and the Dean saw me because of a complaint about me from the churchwarden, rather than about the abuse. Sick. Apparently Steel interviewed a lawyer clergyman from the Deanery who had never met me and was using the Lihous, the Warren's parents who harmed me, against me, just as the Dean had when I was in Jersey, again without my side being heard.
But obviously as Bob has never actually got my story, he could not change that.

Bob had previously caused problems by sending unhelpful information to John Gladwin and Christine Daly. Basically Bob, despite his position and expertise, was ineffective as mediator because he refused to ever take my side of things but used the Korris rubbish which is not my side of things, instead.

I was depending on Bob to defend me and put my side accross, but sadly he never did, and right to the end he was blaming me, claiming I didn't trust anyone, but refusing to acknowledge that I trusted him, and Julie, and his 'you don't trust anyone' became a meaningless accusatory broken record.

I remember Julie in another bizarre conversation, claiming that Bob and his wife were doing all they could for me and said that 'they were happy to be doing all this for HG', I doubt very much that is right, Bob and his wife never called me HG, they used my name.

I was particularly horrified when, after all the severe upset caused by the diocese trying to force the nspcc on me, some idiots in Jersey decided it would be a funny joke to send the Dean money for me, and I hope those people go and walk off a cliff for it because it was very very far from funny for me. Bob started emailing me and ranting about it, asking if I wanted that money sent to THE NSPCC FOR ME!
Bob Hill was no longer my mediator, he had become someone who really went out of their way to injure me, and he succeeded.

He and Mike Higgins recently arranged that second 'question in the states' that left me injured and ill again. And I wonder, why does Bob think I need another enemy when Jane Fisher and her Diocese will eventually kill me with their violations.

Bob condoning that horrifying violation of me by Jane Fisher and the NSPCC after I had made a formal complaint against Fisher that Bob tries to deny the existance of because he can't read his emails, and after what happened to me at Fisher's hands in Winchester, why on earth does BOb think that I would willingly walk into anything that te creature who got me a record, ruined me and has lied her way out of responsibility for, has arranged?
It got beyond Bob making mistakes, he is, as far as I am concerned, on the side of the same people he called a 'shower of creeps', he is most certainly not on my side.
He even published Peter Ould's jeers on his blog and pointedly encouraged Christine Daly to read Ould's rubbishing of my case. But he kept omitting my comments.
Who needs the Diocese with a mediator like Bob?

Those who wonder what happened to me in that terrible November, I was still recovering from flu as Bob and Julie and the Church attacked my life, I was weak and did not get my strength back, I was terrified that the police were going to stop me fleeing the bed and breakfast and I knew that even if I did flee, I could be traced and named because of the bed and breakfast and so I would have to change my name again.
I put up with some nastiness from the bed and breakfast owner, who went on about Julie, and it was obvious she had lied through her teeth to me.
But, thanks to a certain angel, who emailed me just as I was due to return to the streets, and thanks to a phew phonecalls, we were able to safely get me out of there and free, until the next attack.

I was astounded when Julie contacted me a month later, obviously intent on re-starting the whole farce. I cannot believe that either she or Christine Daly would be stupid enough to think that I would actually walk back into a trap that I had fled from.

The combined severe psychological damage to me of what happened in November last year, has not gone, not been obliterated, it remains with all the other damage, building up to the day Jane Fisher has me killed.

The Church, through Christine Daley and their plant, Julie Wallman, achieved a massive victory in the damage to me in November, not least removing Bob Hill as my mediator, although I think I should turn it around and say he was not a good mediator, he had his own agenda and would not take my story, so he couldn't help me, so they have done me a favour.


























2 comments:

  1. I am sorry thing went so wrong with you and Bob and hope you find mediation which does not betray you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Emma,
    I don't think there is time or any person who can take over from Bob, he has all the information and would undoubtedly intervene with any new mediator, and as I lost and was destroyed, there isn't really anything to mediate.

    ReplyDelete