'There's something wrong with my microphone' said the Vicar...

... 'And also with you!' replied the congregation.

This limerick was blatantly pinched, stolen and nicked from the rightful author, as you can see, I am not bright enough to write something like this, as Peter Ould will confirm. Has Ould been canonised yet? Usually the Church of England promote and canonize any clergy who behave badly.

There once was a Dean called Key

Who broke away from a Bishop’s See

He fell out over Bishop Dakin

Over the fuss he was makin’

And went over to Canterbury

 

There was a Vicar called Ashenden

Who always said he was the Queen’s Chaplain

We are not amused, said the Queen

Either by him or Jersey’s Dean

But we’ll say nothing except Amen

The only reason the Church of England are managing to survive in the mess they are is because of the sheep mentality.