No, he really isn't, he is making a loud noise and a show and making the victim who he publicly destroyed, suffer beyond bearing.
This is the last Post.
Adult Chronology in Brief, following on from the childhood story.:
Let me just say something. I have never abused drugs or
alcohol in this 37 years of hell. I have never deliberately done damage or
harm. I have tried to be clean and live a good and honest life. I even repulsed
self-harm because I don't like violence and hurt. And yet I have suffered a decade of police branding, harm, hounding and violence, which has left me as a homeless fugitive.
This is not my full story,
it is the tip of the iceberg but you will
struggle to believe it, especially as only the church's side of things is heard and believed. But it is why I need your help. I am going to die as a result of the harm done to me by the Church and their complicit authorities, and I want you to keep this information and make sure that there is an investigation.
·
1997. Left my family, elective mute and severe
damaged, penalized by the college for being as I was,, because they didn't understand, bullied and sexually harassed
at college by the mainly male student groups as it was agricultural college and
I was a forestry and agriculture student. The college tried to support me but
were not geared up to someone as damaged as I was, they were orientated to fit
strong young men who were training as farm workers and foresters.
· 1998. fell and hurt my right ankle, permanent
injury. College counsellor 1 was involved in my life and making my story up for
me.
·
1999. College counsellor 2, the vicar was involved and
taking me home to her abusive husband. College didn't know what was wrong with
me and got the doctor to see me, insinuating that I was mentally ill, my first contact with the NHS. He
traumatized me by asking if I was hearing voices, which I wasn't. And started
the adult lifetime of NHS hurts and failures. Not once did the doctor or NHS
look at my background or the emotional abuse still ocurring, now from the vicar
and her husband as well as my parents.
·
2000 I was forced to leave college as the staff
had no idea what was wrong with me and thought I was deliberately playing up
and being a troublemaker. I was still being traumatized by my parents, who
would phone and tell me of approaching Armageddon and how we were going to die
violently. After a childhood of 17 years of this strong and unrelenting mind
control, I was still affected by it and was terrified. The vicar had me placed
on an unsuitable local arable farm, her church dignitary friends, it was men only on the
farm and an elective mute female was both out of place and at risk, it was a
humiliating slave-like experience and I developed breathing problems from being
sent into grain trailers and stores without adequate protection. I needed work
experience but this awful placement, controlled by the vicar, was unsuitable,
harmful and unmanageable. I was forced to take part in beating, which is driving game birds into the guns of the church dignitary and his high-paying friends.
·
2001. I was homeless after leaving college. The
vicar-counsellor who had taken over my life, wanted to take me home, but her
violent husband wouldn't allow it. The vicar influenced social services and the
council to what she wanted, until her husband changed his mind and she took me home,
and her husband sexually abused me. The vicar's own abuse of me was emotional,
she breached confidences with the benefice of church congregations, giving a
demeaning opinion of me and telling them I was 'acting out' and not autistic or
a survivor.
·
2002. Within months I left the vicar's home,
when her parents, who also lived there, spotted the abuse and blamed me. The
Vicar's husband's daughter, who unfortunately looked just like me, had also
suffered his violence and allegedly his sexual abuse of her, and ended up as a
long term psychiatric patient, and the vicar's parents were keen to avoid
scandal. I voluntarily left when they blamed me. I had been frightened to leave
before as the vicar ran my life and I was vulnerable and confused, and
terrified of having to go back to my birth family. The NHS had put me on
fluoxetine or similar, which left me in a drugged dream, I wasn't in a fit
state to fend for myself, and was an easy target for abuse.
I moved to the
local sheltered house, the vicar arranged it all, but was surprised that her
friend who used to run it was on long term sick, a resident had committed
suicide and hadn't been found for days, and an agency support worker was
running the place. The agency support worker was hormonal and had a temper, which
terrified me, she should never have taken her temper out on residents but she
did. She was there part time, daytimes, and the other residents were severely
disturbed and would fight at night, terrifying me, there was no night carer.
Basically support was token and fees were sky hight, I didn't benefit at
all. The vicar's husband was able to
come to the supported house and try to re-start the sexual abuse, this time I
told him to go home, as I felt safer in my own accommodation than I had in his
house, and I reported him to the vicar. The vicar's first reaction was to tell
me that his daughter had said the same, she confronted him, there were rows,
and then it went to denial and I was told I wouldn't be believed if I spoke up
about it.
·
The support worker treated female residents as
friends, and took me and another resident out trawling for men, very blatant.
Although I was vulnerable, I knew this was wrong, and told her I was gay. They
left me behind after that. I left the sheltered home within months, with them
chasing me for money because they had failed to do the housing benefit
calculations correctly. A damaging experience and no benefit to me.
·
2003. In my first bedsit, paying £50 per week
in rent and earning about £400 per month in supported employment. The vicar was
still trying to run my life and would contact my employers, employment
officers, my local churches, anyone she liked, to make sure they understood her
view of me and presumably so that her husband's abuse of me was disregarded,
not that I ever told anyone about it. She caused major employment issues for
me, where my social and communication skills were already a strain on my
employment.
·
2003/4. I returned to agricultural college to
do evening classes, I had a tree felling accident and a motorbike accident and
the NHS left me injured. The motorbike was thankfully a small 100cc one that
friends helped me to buy so that I could get to work and college as I was
really struggling with buses and public transport. I was also struggling with
work because of the vicar's interference and because the supervisor was
breaking up with her long-term girlfriend and took it out on me and the more
disabled team members, I stood up to her when her bullying caused my epileptic
friend to have constant fits. And in the end all I could do was quit. The
employment officer was new and inexperienced and tried to create a role for me
on another supported employment team. He overstepped boundaries and was
untruthful, telling me I would be a mentor. I was not to be a mentor but to be
on a very low level unskilled team, a long way below my work capabilities. I
was the only female and suffered severe sexual harassment, assaults and cruelty
from the men on the team.
The manager of the team was a brute, who thought that
my colleague who had Aspergers could be cured by being routinely yelled at and
called names. When my complaint about harassment and assault came to his ears,
he decided to yell at me too, he and the vicar had been chatting. I was left
off sick from work for months. I didn't return to the team. Instead the vicar
got me to work for her niece who ran a gardening business, and one of the
schools that she was governor of, as a cleaner. I was under the vicar's rules
then and that mattered to her. During all this, the NHS continued to fail to
support me, fail to monitor the awful anti-depressants that made me so ill, and
fail to record my background and get me help.
·
2005 I was working for a big estate now, 16
hours a week in return for a cottage, I still did my other work and evening
classes. The estate owners were landed gentry, demanding and imperious, and
naturally they were local church dignitaries, the vicar interfered with
impunity, leaving me at odds with my employers. The handyman for the estate was
an abusive alcoholic, who would proudly tell of how he drove the last gardener
out, and the neighbours were also alcoholic and very noisy. I was tense and got
sick a lot. The latest wave of awful anti-depressants added to this. I caught
the handyman drinking on duty and driving with drinking and expressed my
concern and he attacked me. I attempted suicide and I quit the job. I was
treated shockingly by the local NHS surgery, with a doctor shouting at me and
calling me an idiot for my suicidal situation, and also a conflicted and
inappropriate consultation from a doctor who was also a member of my and the
vicar's church and who knew me well from church and the vicar's opinion of me.
· Unfortunately almost immediately I took another
job very similar, different village and different landed gentry, but the same
unhappy circumstances. I was very severely depressed at this time. I was
diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, social phobia and depression by the Maudsley
and left to sink or swim with the useless local NHS input.
·
One of our church youth leaders had fallen down
dead, and now the other was arrested for sexual abuse of special needs children
in his care and was also suspected of routinely abusing children in Romania on
his trips to the orphanage there. Having worked closely with him in youth group
and mission support, I was profoundly shocked. But the church and vicar wanted
it silenced and the man to be dissociated with the church in the press and
media, especially that he had been our youth leader. The church made a great
effort at silence, and I was a thorn in their side as I needed to talk about
it. The vicar condemned me as 'being judged the same as the youth leader by God
because of my 'condition'. I have never, and will never, recover from that
damnation. Especially as later, the church publicly and in the press and media,
damned me as 'unforgiving' for bringing the matter up, this was during the
recent three year press and media hate attack against me led by the church for
me being abused and speaking up.
·
2006. Still in the tied cottage job and struggling
badly, the church people who forced the NHS to assess me for autism had
stupidly told the Maudsley that I might benefit from one of the drugs one of
them was on. I was thus put on that drug, and started having blackouts,
tachycardia, low blood pressure and dizziness. I was noticably ill and the lady
I worked for, who was mentally ill and hysterical herself, didn't know how to
react, and treated me badly. I left that job and was facing homelessness. Two
church members, one of whom was seriously mentally ill and was finding
occupation in involving herself in my life deeply, as well as in the lives of
numerous elderly people, took me in. They were extreme evangelicals and would
use signs, wonders, laying on of hands, speaking in tongues and the extreme things
I lived through in my childhood. It felt like being back home, and I was lonely
and lost, I needed it. I didn't know what a flashback was, so when they brought
some great healer round and forced the laying on of hands so that I would be
instantly 'healed' from autism and the damage I had suffered. I didn't know
what happened. I went into flashbacks. They were very concerned, took me to the
local surgery, and had me put on one of the most dangerous anti-depressants -
prothiaden.
· They went away to their family in Jersey, their
family were cult evangelicals of the kind that Jersey specializes in. If this
couple were extreme, the things that went on in Jersey were dangerous. But it
meant I was alone with their house, it is nice that all my adult life until this
very day, I am trusted with property. I had also stayed in their friends' home
and house-sat while they were away. Their family in Jersey kept interfering and
misadvising them on me and my life, having never met me. Humiliating me. But while they were
away in Jersey I was accepted back to agricultural college. I was too ill to
work so I applied to finish the course I quit when I was 19. The evening
classes had been in horticulture, while the course was in agriculture. I
prepared to leave and go to college, which made the mentally ill lady very
upset, and she demanded that I returned to them every weekend, a journey of at
least 30 miles. I was reliant on them, as I used to rely on church people. So I
agreed, but the stress of the journey, especially on my neck, made me vomit, so
I would arrive for the weekend and throw up as soon as I got there. As far as I know, the church tried to use this against me, but at the time I didn't know the extent of my spinal problems and wasn't able to explain myself.
· The prothiaden had serious affects, I was taken
ill at an agricultural show, my heart wasn't beating properly. The NHS treated
me badly over this and didn't follow up, so I stopped the prothiaden myself. I
was being emotionally ripped apart by the evangelical couple the damage too
severe, traumatic and far-reaching to describe here. so I tried to get them to
leave me alone after they came to see me for a day and really hurt me. They
didn't go away, and as a result, the police found me sitting in a lay-by,
feeling very despairing and low, the police response, although I had done
nothing wrong, was to brutalize me, fling me in a cell until 2am, and then
leave me abandoned at 2am, having branded me for life on police and NHS records
when I had not committed a crime nor had they charged me or explained why I
merited a violent brutalization. The bruises they inflicted were huge and my
landlady was horrified. I will never recover. I was out of my mind and could
barely cope with college from then on. My life was hell.
· 2007 At some point, either because of the heart
scares, police beating, or just that I kept going back to the GP and begging
for help, I was branded with a 'personality disorder' and left branded but
unknowing, thus help couldn't be sought and my trauma and what I had been
through would be discredited by the NHS for the rest of my life, they never looked at what had happened to me or what I was going through. . But I didn't
know. I was in very severe financial trouble as a friend of the evangelicals from
church had taken over my finances, all my paperwork and contacts and was
supposed to be managing them. unfortunately he did absolutely nothing, and left
me destitute, he was supposed to mediate with the DWP for me to get incapacity
benefit and he left me starving and with no money for rent or transport
instead, and then his wife decided that because I contacted him every week
asking what on earth was going on, that I was in love with him (perish the
thought!), she had a history of extreme jealousy, and told him to get rid of me. He had an embarassing arrangement with
the evangelicals to get rid of me, and I was treated as if I had done something
wrong, and I hadn't. This added to the terrible downhill of my life. My landlady heard about that and told me how badly the church had treated her, in some ways similar, and she urged me to leave the church, but I was entrenched, vulnerable and reliant on the church.
· At the end of my course, I cancelled the vicar
and her friend coming to my presentation, and I left to go and work in Jersey
on a job I had been offered. I tried to block communication from the
evangelicals but because their family were in Jersey, they were determined to
be involved, they wanted my post sent to their daughter at the church, they
wanted me to 'go and see the family' at church. Their family were very spoilt
and discontented and self-centred and very boastful, they practiced dangerous cult things in church such as
getting the children to lay hands on grown men and form arches over them with
their hands, getting people to drop their sticks and walk, which led to a
stroke victim falling and hurting himself, and unfortunately much worse. I
didn't want to see their family or them again but it happened. And their family
tried to force me to be healed, and blamed me for the harm to me. But it was to
get much much worse, and I write this as I suffer beyond healing.
· 2007-2008. I didn't know that the churchwarden
was a serial abuser who had repeatedly been let off molesting women because of
his powerful connections which included his brother, I didn't know his brother
was accused of rape but was too powerful to be tried and had a lawyer even in
his family, as if his position and status weren't enough. I didn't know that
the churchwarden was under a 'chaperoning policy' in church for his serial
molesting of women and his sacking from his position in his previous church for
his wrongdoing. What I knew was that when he spotted me on my first day in
church, he came and sat with me. I was naive, I was used to church people. He
groomed me expertly. He made his wife accept me, she hated me and called me a
burden, and I can never recover from that. He took me home, emotionally abused
me and his wife and regressed me to childhood, claiming he was healing me from
my past, and he sexually abused me until I left him and his wife. He had
isolated me from the church and taken me home and they had let him, knowing
what he was, they had even supported him in his 'healing' of me.
·
2009. In 2009, concerns from my counsellor in
Jersey, and the autism service and social services, led to me being taken to
the police over the abuse. When this happened, the whole church community
shunned me and treated me appallingly, the cult evangelicals whose evangelical
parents had emotionally abused me, had me shunned, trapped in a church room and
shouted at, and basically destroyed and outcast. unfortunately medical help was
not a possibility as the two local surgeries that I had been involved with were
both run by prominent church leader doctors who were involved and who had the
power to harm me further, later another doctor and surgery also involved, added
to this. And possibly another. I had to temporarily leave Jersey because the
damage to me became so bad.
·
A horrifying situation had arisen in Jersey that
the Dean was friends with the abuser and his family, and as I was an 'outsider'
it was easy for the Dean and Deanery to outcast me and uphold the serial abuser
who was a powerful and wealthy man in the church. The police were swamped with the children's
home case that was making international headlines, and my case had to wait. In
the meantime, the the diocese of Winchester, who oversaw the Jersey Deanery and
every church I had been to in Hampshire, waded in and prioritized preventing my
case being part of the scandal, by protecting the deanery and abusers, crushing
me severely, blaming me for the abuse both in Hampshire and Jersey and
connecting the Jersey Deanery to the Vicar and her husband who had abused me in
Hampshire, connecting it all up as me being a serial troublemaker, making sure
that is what the press reported, and leaving me utterly destroyed. I hadn't
recovered from being regressed to childhood and now I was shunned and rejected
as I went through the police process.
·
The police did video interviews and upheld my
story so far. Then they said there was insufficient evidence and let the abuser
go, he did a Cliff Richard, claimed to have been cleared when he hadn't been. I
was destroyed, outcast. But worse. The police decided I was going to kill
myself, so they brutalized me and flung me on a cell floor, releasing me
without charge in the early hours. I really couldn't recover. I never have. I
died there and this is an empty shell writing this, long since dead.
Unfortunately once they had done that, a decade of these beatings and
imprisonments started, and I am utterly destroyed, and believe me, that is only
part of it. Although Jersey doesn't have NHS, their medical services are
limited, hence they fly people to the UK, as they did with Bob when he
collapsed defending my life in 2015 as the NHS condemned me.
·
The church were condemning and shunning me and
since leaving my family, church was the only family I had known, so I was
destroyed, shamed, outcast. Jersey is a small place, and police, medical
outlets, government and judiciary are massively conflicted by church members
and dignitaries, and I had a shocking time with the church doctors and medical
services, and police, obviously the details won't fit here, but it was the
government and judiciary prominent dual roles that destroyed me.
·
My dad, my birth father, the strong proud
patriach, collapsed with a stroke, an undignified fall for a man who was
seemingly up there with God and immortal. He had a second stroke and died. The
diocese of Winchester were actively harming and threatening me into silence and
didn't let up when my dad went into a coma. My dad was pronounced brain dead,
and the life support was switched off. I sat with him after his life support
were switched off. My siblings went to get drunk, yes really, and all of them
who were there out of the 15 of us. They left me alone with my unconscious dad.
I was asking dad to forgive me for being away and having made the church my
family and got into so much trouble because of the church, when dad's friend,
my sister's ex-boyfriend, George, came in. He was close to dad, but I didn't know
he was a peadophile and a pervert. He tried to get me to go and stay in his
camper van in the hospital car park with him for the night. I wouldn't. My dad
died and my family started fighting at the funeral and didn't stop. I was
always the easy target, especially as I had spoken up about my brother sexually
abusing me and they destroyed me over again. I never reconciled with them, they
made me out to be a fake abuse victim and many unkind things, after they ruined
the funeral with fighting and continued to fight. George was found looking at
violent porn on dad's computer in between his death and funeral. He was later
arrested for kidnap of a child and having huge amounts of child pornography. He
had been a close family friend for many years and had been abusing my younger
siblings.
·
I spent Christmas in MayTree Sanctuary for the
suicidal in London, I would have killed myself otherwise. My abusers remained
prominent in the church while I was banished from both island and mainland
church communities.
·
2010. I fought the church to act and to do
justice, their safeguarding official absolutely destroyed me and upheld the
abusers and the wrongdoing dean. They set the police on me many times and no
explanation was ever given, but I was left homeless several times, was
struggling to work at all and my life was deteriorating dangerously, remember,
the doctors were conflicted and no source of help, I reacted badly to
anti-depressants, I had been regressed, abused, left regressed, on top of the
original childhood, and was now being treated shockingly by the police and
local community, as well as being shunned by old friends on the mainland.
·
The Vicar, the original one, initially said
that the churchwarden admitted some of his wrongdoing, the police said the
same. But then the vicar and her position were in danger because of her husband
abusing me, so she branded me in liaison with the Jersey Deanery, I was outcast
from all my communities and friends, as my life and friends had been in the
church. The abusers, high profile men, well connected and dignitaries,
freemasons, one a magistrate, were never going to be dealt with, and were free
to destroy me with the help of their powerful connections. The Dean said I was
wicked and was never abused, and tried to add the evangelicals and their harm
to me in as my fault. I was and am, condemned for all of it, and trying to live
condemned is killing me. But believe me, that isn't the worst of it.
·
The church, having liaised closely with police
and community and interfered in support from the autism service and social
services, which I was voluntarily receiving and cut those off from me, and got
an untruthful cover-up into the press and media, had me arrested, brutalized,
flung in prison, my home, possessions, job, friends and life now utterly gone
as a result. The conflicted police doctor and others I knew were conflicted,
took part in the jeering and brutality. I was flung into court with vomit in my
hair after 24 hours in cells, told I was in the wrong, never mind my side of
things. I was then further brutalized, hancuffed and flung in a cage in a van,
and put in prison. I wasn't given my glasses, and I couldn't see, which wasn't
a bad thing as I suffer severe claustrophobia and can't breathe in enclosed
spaces.
·
The church had to make a pretence of care and
kept interfering in the prison, giving the staff their version of events,
forcing their chaplains on me, unbelievable but true. I specifically said that
conflicted church of england chaplains were not to come and see me, that a methodist
or Catholic chaplain only was to visit, the church's influence meant that what
I said was overridden and the diocese of winchester forced their chaplain on me
as well as forcing 'mental health' workers on me, they wanted to justify having
me put away by making me out to be mad and wanted to pretend for the inevitable
reports, that they had 'cared' all of this has severely harmed me.
·
I was flung into court, to be recorded and
branded in the local press, to the delight of my abusers, the church dean and
deanery, I was lied about by the dean and his wife, claiming that the time they
called me wicked and said I hadn't been abused, that I had been shouting and
swearing, which I hadn't, but in court I had no voice. I had to listen to these
lies that no report would ever cover. The police tried to force me to have a
criminal record by bringing up a car accident that I had caused because of the
severe stress and distress, this is another unhealable trauma and I suffer
flashbacks but the accident was an accident and not a police conviction and it
was done so obviously.
·
And this was after the police had ensured I had
lost my home and job so that the judge would have to put me in prison. During
my time in Jersey the police were violent to me, cruel, dishonest, and callous,
and as yet this has not been dealt with. Although as you will hear, this was to
be far from the extent of their callous wrongdoing. The police and church
liaison were successful in getting me effectively removed from the island of
Jersey which had become my home, community and way of life, I loved and still
love Jersey, and there has been no healing or resolution over this, I remain
dispossessed. I was literally dumped on a plane, the police stole the cash in
my room and brought me some clothes I had put aside for the charity shop, which
were useless.
They had arrested me in my pyjamas and I
had spent the two weeks in prison without a bra. I was relieved that a barely
working bra was in the clothes they brought from my house, but apart from the
rag bag that they brought out, my possessions were all left behind for good. I
lost everything I owned, even my certificates. Everything, photos, memories,
keepsakes, an heirloom cross that was a gift from my dying friend. I lost
everything, not just my clean record, life, work, home. Everything. But it was
to get worse.
·
The church had been hoping to keep me locked up
in prison or a psychiatric ward, to discredit me and cover up for them.
Unfortunately for them, the psychological report said I wasn't mad, and, my
friends from Hampshire who had family in Jersey, not the evangelicals, some
other friends, were staying in Jersey and were horrified to hear I was in
prison, and became involved, writing me a reference and saying they would put
me up in Hampshire. And so I was released to return to Hampshire.
·
I am sure you can imagine what the reaction of
the Bishop and Diocese of Winchester was to me returning to their and my home
town of Winchester with the tale I had to tell, and worse, the Bishop was
patron of the homeless services and he and his wife had horrendous power and
influence in Winchester and Hampshire, while their safeguarding official who
had driven me mad with her bullying and threats and upholding of the
wrongdoers, had the ability to interfere in social services and the police and
all support areas as she had done in Jersey. I was slandered and vilified,
driven from every homeless service, church, support service, and the slander
was repeated back to me, as if I wasn't already destroyed utterly. The church
had to destroy me again to get their side of things heard over mine, and they
had to pretend to 'care' and make me out to be nuts despite the reports, and
that has damaged me for life. But worse that they wiped out my whole community
of friends and life in Winchester. My friend was dying, she was a church
official, and the Bishop and his wife had more influence over her views than
me, she died estranged from me, and the rest of my friends remained estranged
forever. The church strategically shifted clergy involved in the harm to me to
ensure that they were in my old communities so that I would always be outcast
and never return or be heard by my old friends and associates.
·
As soon as I arrived back in Winchester from
Jersey, destitute and destroyed, the interference of the church again became
obvious. The Bishop's wife accidentally phoned me while trying to phone my
friend to slander me to her. Unfortunately she was later successful in that and
breaking that friendship, but at the time, despite the police's horrific
treatment of me, I was desperate so I went to North Walls police station and
begged them to stop the harm to me. I had begged the police in Jersey the same
to no avail. The police looked me up and came up with the incident of them beating
me and flinging me in a cell in 2007 and started to treat me as if I was mad
and bad, again, claiming falsely, you know how the police do, that I had come
in claiming to be suicidal because the Bishop's wife was intervening in my
life. I was terrified, and expected a beating. But I stood my ground. It was
horrifying that the police had not only beaten and locked me up in 2007 but had
it on record to jeer it at me and discredit me with it, as if it made what I
was telling them untrue or made me deserve more harm.
·
The Bishop's phone number was on my phone from
the call. I told the police what had happened, and they said they would speak
to the Bishop and get back to me, they never did, they turned me out while
telling me that I might not feel good for a year or two but things would mend
with time. Unfortunately as the harm continued, things didn't mend. The police
didn't stop the harm but allowed and enabled the church to meet with them and
the homeless services and social services for a one-and-all branding of me
which has followed me to this day and makes my life not worth living. To make
it worse, the awful sheltered house staff of the house I was in briefly in the
early 2000s were present for this vilification of me. The harm has been
limitless.
The police allowed the church to go on
harming me and violating me, I still have huge amounts of evidence which aren't
on police record or in any report, but the 3 year million pound whitewash
doesn't contain my views.
·
In November 2010, after a particularly vile
verbal attack on me by clergy, which tried to use my bad early experiences of
the agricultural college against me, indicating that the Bishop and
safeguarding officer and vicar whose husband abused me were doing the same. I
fled to the city of Bath, and begged the police for help and protection, but
due to the fact that Hampshire Constabulary were supporting the church in
harming me and this would be referred back to them, I couldn't proceed. Instead
I wrote a circular letter to the churches in Winchester about what had happened
to me, rather than what the church were telling them with the backing of the
police. Unfortunately nothing changed, and the Bishop, his wife, and their
safeguarding official continued to interfere, even the doctor was a churchgoer,
and nowhere was safe, I had been driven out of the homeless services and away
from my friends and was sleeping rough by now.
·
The Bishop and his wife and the safeguarding
official had a friend, she tricked me into staying in her home, because I
didn't know, and she didn't tell me that she was friends with them and acting
for them, and then she attacked me for the Bishop, his wife and their
safeguarding official, trapping me in her home and screaming accusations on
their behalf and making me out to be mad. It was Christmas, it was snowing, I
was stronger than her, got past her, fled without shoes on my feet, into the
snow, late on Christmas eve. Absolutely destroyed, shaking and broken. The
Bishop and his people had gone on and on interfering and provoking me since I
had returned to Winchester, they had prevented me from being housed, vilified
me indelibly on record, and it was after the incident in Bath that I finally
contacted them again and begged and begged them to stop. This was later lied
about in court. That Christmas eve I contacted them and begged and begged them
to stop. In court they failed to say why I contacted them and instead made me
out to be harassing them randomly. The horrific dishonesty of this and
everything else they said in court nearly killed me, I will never really
recover as I am branded for life. On Christmas day, starving, destroyed and
freezing, completely alone and destroyed,
I sheltered in a church and drank Holy Water out of the font as I was so
thirsty.
·
After Christmas the safeguarding official
turned up at the homeless services that I no longer used, getting the Bishop's
version of events re-iterated, with the excuse of leaving the presents and
possessions I had left at her friend's house there, she then tried to use my
homeless friend as a messenger boy to jeer this at me, destroying my safe
friendship with him forever.
·
2011. My estranged friend died in January of
this year. The Bishop and safeguarding tried to stop me from going to the
funeral so that my dignitary abuser could attend, even though the deceased
despised him and they weren't friends. The callous safeguarding officer told me
that instead I should go and sit in an empty church with my friend's ashes the
night before her funeral. I will never recover from that, a decade of
friendship destroyed by hatred and deceit and such cruelty, and she wanted me
to sit alone with the ashes so that my abuser could attend the funeral in
peace. I sat in the graveyard, away from my old friends and community as they
and my abuser attended the funeral. Then immediately after, the Bishop and
safeguarding officer made another sustained attempt to have me put away.
·
The police officer aggressively cornered me on
Jewry Street, denied the evidenced fact that the Bishop and his people were provoking
me. He repeatedly and needlessly flung me to the ground, smashing my laptop and
possessions. He falsely accused me of trying to bite him, it didn't happen, he
used violence when I wasn't violence, and his repeat flinging me to the ground
because he could, may be why my spine is broken. I was screaming in terror as
he cornered and brutalized me. He relayed that over the radio and on shopwatch
so that the homeless services and all shops in Winchester heard it, driving me
further from my community.
·
A load of police vehicles arrived, all my
fellow homeless were watching from the pub over the road. The police flung me
in a cage again, and at North Walls Police Station, I was having a complete
breakdown and although they tried to excuse their actions as me being mad,
instead of allowing me to calm down, they dragged me along the ground by the
scruff of the neck, pulling my jumper up so my chest was exposed and I was
choking, if you struggle to believe this, this is how the police treat the
voiceless vulnerable, and most of them will never tell you their story nor live
to tell it, no-one survives police brutality and branding, I knew of several
suicides as a result of treatment like this.
·
The police kept me in a cell as they jeered at
me and called me mad, stayed in the doorway terrifying me as I lay there
completely and utterly destroyed and terrified, I was completely powerless,
trapped, jeered, and the fact that I had been responding to the illegal
behaviour of the church was irrelevant as the police loudly discussed which
unit they could get me put away in for the church. 24 hours terrified, unable to move from the
floor or eat. I am there in my nightmares, the nightmares that merge with the
Jersey nightmares, the rape on the streets nightmares, I will scream in
nightmares until I die. The police were forced to act, and had to let me phone.
I phoned my old counsellor, Lizzie, and she told them to get a female officer
and someone who used sign language or an appropriate adult, the police jeered
that they weren't changing their ways for me. Even though they were obliged.
All the police actions and detentions so far had been without an appropriate
adult and I never understood what they said, in Jersey they once pretended to
have an appropriate adult, a member of social services, who did not come into
the interview, and when asked for an appropriate adult, they too, jeered.
·
Anyway, back to February 14th, 2011. The police
were forced to release me as social services and the mental health said I
wasn't nuts. The police forced me to rush through signing for my possessions.
My driving licence was missing and my computer smashed. The police jeered and
refused to restrain the Bishop and his safeguarding official, jeering that
'they had done no wrong' and that I was to 'leave them alone'.
·
I knew that I would go on being harmed, shunned
and shamed, and would be brutalized and imprisoned if I went on fighting back
or asking for justice. I left Winchester. Homeless, dispossesed and destitute.
Every day was the day I would commit suicide. I had nothing whatsoever left.
Those first days after the police beating, I couldn't even get up. The friends
who remained had been making me breakfast and a packed lunch each day, and got
very worried as I couldn't get up and get to them. I was badly bruised by the
police violence, and my friend made me take my top off as she took photos of
the massive bruises. The photos were left in the safekeeping of a charity for
the vulnerable in the justice system, a charity called voice, which went into
receivership.
·
The Bishop retired and turned up at the place I
had sought refuge, the place where I used to work for the vicar's niece. I went
on asking the Bishop and his wife and the rogue safeguarding official for
justice. They again had me beaten by police and flung in court with my side
being made irrelevant, it was another effort to make me out to be mad. I was
silent as lies, including the ones about Christmas, were read out in the court,
and efforts were made to make me out to be mad. I was flung back onto the
streets, destroyed and having no real understanding of any of it, I have not,
throughout the time the police have harmed me, understood why they can, how
they can, and how they could allow me to be harmed and punish me for it on
behalf of the wrongdoers. This last straw was going to take my life, and I
dragged myself, destroyed, through the days. But I seemed to be rid of the
church now that I had fled the area altogether.
·
2012, Unfortunately I wasn't rid of the church.
They had already branded me with the multi-agency, police, NHS, social services
so that wherever I went I would be vilified, driven from churches, homeless
services, and any form of help, my side was irrelevant, and I was treated
horrifyingly, especially by the NHS and their breaches of the data protection
act with other services. Each day and week was to be the one before suicide. I
was utterly destroyed. But worse was to come. In the meantime the IPCC tried to
contact me about the Winchester beating and imprisonment. I was on the run, as
I am now since the Amberstone attack, I was so severely traumatized that
engaging with the IPCC was out of the question, they eventually dropped the
matter, which I felt was deeply unfair but I was in no position whatsoever to
deal with demands or declare my location, I was terrified of further police
harm, which is why the attack on me by a convicted rapist at this point had to
unfortunately go unrecorded. After all, imagine you are me and you are raped
and beaten after the church and police have told you that your life is of no
worth and that you are an evil criminal with no rights? Would you report it?
·
2013. In 2013 I had stayed alive and sought
neutral private help. But the church launched my case into the national,
international and local press and media and online, with a whitewash conflicted
report that covered their backs and vilified me. The report was proudly
presented to the police forces who had destroyed me for and with the police,
without my consent or confirmation to it's accuracy. The report was carried out
by a conflicted church counsellor, and was done to cover up the harm to me and
vilify me with one side of my distressed reaction to abuse and church
treatment. The report alienated me from my new friends and community before I
knew what was happening. The church hadn't bothered to tell me about the report
or get my views on it.
·
The report sparked fury by the high and
conflicted church members of judiciary, government, police and other agencies
who had worked so hard to have me arrested, imprisoned and deported and left
homeless and destroyed. They were outraged at the matter being raised, and they
destroyed me publicly, openly and with great strength, day in and day out,
using their dual roles and conflicted powers, which included access to police
and prison records and raising these private records in public. The church did
nothing either to name the conflicts of interests and punish or silence the
wrongdoers, the dignitaries who had launched the whitewash refused to withdraw
it, and instead, instigated two more whitewashes, an openly conflicted judge,
chosen by the defendants.
·
I was being attacked in the press and media,
traced by rogue journalists, attacked, beaten, assaulted and threatened by
strangers. The church refused to withdraw the conflicted reports, and instead
sent the police after me again. I made a complaint, the police backed off but
did not resolve the complaint, and again they refused to stop the church from
harming me, and instead made me out to be mad again. Inexcusable, even if I was
mad, the police using an illness as an excuse to allow the ill person to be
abused and harassed, is inexcusable. The police blocked my emails, this is
evidenced still, and awaiting the overarching inquiry. I was utterly destroyed.
Driven from my community where with help, we were building me up to being
housed.
·
Further efforts against me were made by the
church by using another vulnerable adult for attempted entrapment. Incredibly,
her name was Julie Wallman, a Jersey abuse victim, while the entrapment attempt
in Winchester in 2010 was by a Julie Wills. The new entrapment attempt by the
church had also duped Bob Hill, the former police officer trying to stop the
harm to me, and this damaged my relationship with him as well as leaving me
terrified and on the run again.
·
Worse still, my estranged family had seen all
this press and media and it consolidated their condemnation of me. And worse
even still, the 2009/10 press and media reports and court case in Jersey was
traceable by anyone who read the church conflicted whitewash report that was flung into the press and
media, my name, date of birth and full details were on there. I was easy to
find and beat and rape, as you can imagine, as well as people openly using my
name in slander, contact with me, etc.
·
2014. The civil war in the church at my expense
continued and I suffered and suffered and suffered, no relief. The Bishop
ignored warnings and evidence that he was allowing a conflicted report to be
used to destroy me completely. He would have killed me by handing the report
over to the defendants to destroy me publicly, if I hadn't taken him to court
as a litigant in person against his powerful lawyer. I was ill, had no food,
holes in my shoes, and worse, when the judge refused to protect my new identity
and address from the church, I knew I was going to be killed. I couldn't get to
the court and the judge refused to postpone the case, callous and making it
clear he wasn't impartial. However, the weight of evidence meant he couldn't
drop the case. The Bishop was forced to agree to get my agreement on the
contents of the report, and to give me 40 days notice before releasing
anything. He did neither, indeed he learned nothing from the case and allowed
the clergy and laity to go on publicly destroying me, writing open and blatant
lies as well as sharing and publishing confidential documents that they used
their dual roles to procure. He never gave me access to this report that was
supposedly about my case but had excluded my story.
·
2015. The same hatred and press and media lies
continued unchecked, I was worn down. The NHS were failing me appallingly and
wouldn't provide help even when I turned up in tears and begged them. I was
struggling to work, get food or study, I had taken on a degree when I housed
myself in 2014, I hoped it would occupy me. In November 2015, as my friend who
was my carer, was told she was dying and had only months to live, Bob Hill, the former police officer defending
my life against the church hatred, collapsed defending my life as a
particularly vicious hate attack on me by the church and press and media ripped
through the papers and media and destroyed me again. The attack was because the
openly conflicted government-judiciary-church dignitaries hadn't been told by
the Bishop that there were restrictions on his release of the report, he failed
to ever tell them that he had been taken to court. Bob Hill had a severe brain
heammorage after fending off open and vicious hate attacks against me. I
collapsed too, but not with a brain haemmorage. I had nowhere to turn at all.
The NHS with their records marred by the church and police's version of my
life, and with their lifetime failures described in other documents. Destroyed
me when I went to them, forced me out of the surgery and out of the NHS system altogethr, vilifying me and
leaving me with high blood pressure and completely without help. I remain
without help.
·
2016. With Bob out of the way, the church
arranged their final attack. The press and media war was bad for the church's
image, and throughout my case, their image has been priority. The church
publicly discredited me and apologized to the wrongdoers, and claimed that the
conflicted report, which was under a court order, had been witheld at my
request - ie they were saying I was guilty and the other parties were innocent,
they failed to say that the report was under a court order and I had done that
as the conflicted judge had made her intentions clear to me and Bob and she was
a member of the circle of dignitaries involved with the wrongdoers and abusers,
and they had engineered the report.
The Bishop claimed to the press that he was
feeding the report into another one. He continued to fail to say that the
report didn't contain my side of things, was conflicted and evidenced to be so,
and was under a court order. Weeks after the public destruction of me, the
hatred went on, I nearly died. Ever since then, the church have refused to
respond to me and have acted as if the matter is closed. They and the police
and dignitaries had arranged a conflicted safeguarding partnership whitewash in
the form of a serious case review. After the dignitaries failed to get their
main whitewash, they threatened and trolled me to force me to agree to the
release of the safeguarding partnership whitewash, nearly killing me. They had
to have my permission. I didn't give it and their criminal actions in trying to
force me are still in my inbox, evidence. They openly said that the highest
ranking church-government dignitary was making the demand.
·
Hampshire Constabulary in the form of Operation
Amberstone, seiged my home with a pretence that the church were worried about
me, they used that opportunity to remove my new identity, which was legally
changed and they involved my landlord and neighbours in this, letting them know
who I am and who I was, they humiliated, violated and insulted me and treated
me appallingly and left me fleeing that home to become long term homeless
again. One slum after another, destroyed, traumatized and living in terror.
·
2017. I was so ill, as the church continued
their cruelty in again upholding the wrongdoers in my case and in the press and
media, claiming to give them positions where they could access the vulnerable.
It was a terrible year in the slums, violence and cruelty and illegal
tenancies, and no recovery or relief from the harm. In October 2017, the police
launched two more attacks on me for the church, no charges and trying to
pretend that the church weren't involved, which they couldn't do. These new
police invasions nearly killed me both times, it is touch and go with suicides
after police harm to me. I don't ever recover, and they brand me on record. But
look at what I have written. For a decade the police have spent their time
coming after me for the abusers but never wondered what would happen to their
precious time and resources if they simply restrained the church and held them
to account instead of using that time to terrorize me and leave me longing for
death? Professional Standards are refusing to act. At this time I also suffered
further attacks and assaults by strangers as a result of the church's three
year public smear and discrediting campaign.
·
2018. I was homeless again as a result of all
this, but here I am under another temporary roof, finally able to tell you this
bizarre and horrifying story so that help instead of more harm can be offered,
please. I suffer day and night without relief. There has been no restraint of
the church, they are still hurting me. There has been no justice. The damage is
done. And still Justin Welby and Peter Hancock use the press and media to make abuse into a boast, while ignoring the victim who asks them to stop and to bring justice to her case.
Their victim will die, this has been too much for any human being to survive, but all she can say is 'Vulnerable people beware, the church doesn't genuinely care about you, they have an apartheide policy against you for insurance purposes and you will suffer for being a church member, get out while you can, before you are harmed, the church is a club for those more fortunate than us'.
