I find this difficult to write, but I will do my best, and at some point I will share some of the many statements that I wrote about the church warden for the police, the Diocese and the people supporting me.
I am writing from memory, and my memory is full of trauma blanks. I have not come to terms with what happened with the church warden, and I have not been able to work through this in therapy, because in therapy we have been trying to help me cope with what the Diocese, past and present, have done to destroy me.
I had not been in Jersey long, and I was working at the weekends, so I had only been able to get to early Holy Communion and evening services.
So I went to the evening service at that awful church, I didn't know it was an awful church at the time.
It was only a small evening service.
The church warden came in, and this was surprising because he normally went to the Town Church with his wife and the Dean and his wife for the evening service as he did not like the evening service at his own church.
I can't remember why he turned up at his own church that evening. But he did, and he asked people who I was, and everyone said they didn't know.
He came and asked if he could sit with me, and I, really not knowing any better, said yes.
He told me he was church warden, and I was used to lots of safe church wardens on the mainland, so I assumed he was safe.
The Vicar's wife came over and sat with us, and the church warden said she was there to keep an eye on him, which maybe referred to this 'chaperoning' policy, which was so noticably absent the rest of the time. If this chaperoning policy ever properly existed.
Anyway, the churchwarden spoke to me alone outside the church afterwards, nothing untoward then, but two weeks? later, after another evening service, he took me for a walk, told me that God wanted me to be his adoptive daughter, and he held my hand as we walked, but if anyone walked near, he withrew his hand.
He said some unusual and inappropriate things, asking me if I used drugs or had boyfriends, and he said he wanted my Dad's phone number in case anything happened to me, which I thought was very arrogant and behind times, my dad was not my next of kin, I, even then knew I could choose my next of kin, and at the time, my fear of my family meant my Dad was not my next of kin.
I was not happy with his questioning of me, because it did not seem normal.
Anyway, the church warden sat with me in a shelter on the seafront and held my hand and told me about his life, how he had a wife and two sons and how he was a dinghy instructor and how he worked for Romerils, which he described as a 'Christian' company.
He took his hand away from mine when some children approached us.
He told me he 'had to go home or his wife would be angry' which seemed strange to me.
And then he told me he wanted me to go home with him.
So I did.
I completely innocently saw this as just friendship. I still have that naivety, sadly, I cannot tell properly what people's motives are.
But when we got to his house, his wife's immediate reaction was not good, but she quickly pasted on a smile and went to put the kettle on.
But her initial reaction remained with me. She looked angry and worried. She didn't know me and hadn't met me before, but she obviously was not happy at him bringing someone home like that.
Monday, 9 December 2013
Bishop
If the Dean is 'in the clear' as stated by the media, surely the Bishop should apologize to him, and also there should be an investigation into why the Bishop of Winchester launched the suspension of the Dean so publicly and in the way that he did?
And why the Bishop spent half a million on a conflicted investigation which excluded my version of things?
I know how badly the Dean dealt with things, but with the hijack of the investigation by Dame Steel, and no interest from John Gladwin and Christine Daley, my side got excluded, and that remains a fact.
As does the way the Bishop invaded my life and severely damaged me and threatened me for my reaction of begging to be left alone.
And why the Bishop spent half a million on a conflicted investigation which excluded my version of things?
I know how badly the Dean dealt with things, but with the hijack of the investigation by Dame Steel, and no interest from John Gladwin and Christine Daley, my side got excluded, and that remains a fact.
As does the way the Bishop invaded my life and severely damaged me and threatened me for my reaction of begging to be left alone.
Sunday, 8 December 2013
exclusive information, only available everywhere.
The Bishop thought he was in charge back then, obviously. He soon learned.
http://therightofreply.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/dark-days-are-over-what-dark-days.html#comment-form
Due to the time and tiredness, the church warden request I received will be answered tomorrow.
Here is a link in the meantime.
http://planetjersey.co.uk/forum/index.php/topic,55.msg58366.html#msg58366
http://www.wakefield.anglican.org/images/uploads/handbook/clergyfinance/clergylegaldefencecover.pdf
anything and nothing
Dame Steel is reading my blog. awesome, maybe she wants my side of things?
Anyway.
I got back from church just 45 minutes ago, which is funny because I went to church at 9am this morning.
Well, since the morning service I've been hanging out with the gang, eating good food and playing cards (I am no good at cards as it uses the defective part of my brain), I decided not to go to the evening service, so I came back, weighed down with books, Christmas cards and cake :)
Ah, where did that long hot summer go, with all those long Sunday afternoons on the blanket with a book and a picnic?
I am told not to be so harsh on Peter, by respected mentor.
OK.
Peter you need a haircut.
There, that was more polite.
Polo has been doing cartoons.
His cartoons are not for the faint hearted or easily offended, although the Bishop wrecking ball ones were my request because the Bishop has been a tiny bit unhelpful.
http://photopol.com/jersey/jersey_toons.html
Ten uses for Guernsey Gache:
Anyway.
I got back from church just 45 minutes ago, which is funny because I went to church at 9am this morning.
Well, since the morning service I've been hanging out with the gang, eating good food and playing cards (I am no good at cards as it uses the defective part of my brain), I decided not to go to the evening service, so I came back, weighed down with books, Christmas cards and cake :)
Ah, where did that long hot summer go, with all those long Sunday afternoons on the blanket with a book and a picnic?
I am told not to be so harsh on Peter, by respected mentor.
OK.
Peter you need a haircut.
There, that was more polite.
Polo has been doing cartoons.
His cartoons are not for the faint hearted or easily offended, although the Bishop wrecking ball ones were my request because the Bishop has been a tiny bit unhelpful.
http://photopol.com/jersey/jersey_toons.html
Ten uses for Guernsey Gache:
- Bath sponge
- Door Stop
- Pillow
- Cannon Ball to fire at that other island
- Donkey Food
- Traffic calming measure
- Buoy
- Stool (no, not that kind)
- Hat (hollow it out)
- Rugby Ball
OK. Guernsey Gache is better than Jersey Wonders, cos who would want a doughnut without doughnut in it, right? That's just wrong.
windy
Good morning,
request about church warden will be done later, after church.
Tony's blog is about how windy it is in Jersey today
http://tonymusings.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-parable-of-builders-revisited.html
request about church warden will be done later, after church.
Tony's blog is about how windy it is in Jersey today
http://tonymusings.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-parable-of-builders-revisited.html
Saturday, 7 December 2013
decrease to increase
The church of England standard cop-out is 'You have no right to judge'.
Well, the church of england is the single most judgemental organization I have known, and usually the 'don't judge' cry is in reply to a response to them being judgemental.
I agree, don't judge is a good attitude a lot of the time, but it is the case, and even the Bible tells us, there are times when we should admonish and correct, and that is what I have been taught by my Catholic mentors.
My Catholic friend is shy but fierce about morals and the faith, she has been known to admonish a Priest who was wearing aftershave and chatting with the ladies.
'Father it is wrong, remember we have to decrease in order to increase'.
I admire her courage, she is shy.
I am shy, I do not like to speak up, believe it or not, nor do I want to do a blog of judgement and argument. I want to tell you about my story.
I spoke up in Jersey because things are terribly wrong in the church of england there and I was treated appallingly and some damaging and unChristian practice goes on there.
Well, the church of england is the single most judgemental organization I have known, and usually the 'don't judge' cry is in reply to a response to them being judgemental.
I agree, don't judge is a good attitude a lot of the time, but it is the case, and even the Bible tells us, there are times when we should admonish and correct, and that is what I have been taught by my Catholic mentors.
My Catholic friend is shy but fierce about morals and the faith, she has been known to admonish a Priest who was wearing aftershave and chatting with the ladies.
'Father it is wrong, remember we have to decrease in order to increase'.
I admire her courage, she is shy.
I am shy, I do not like to speak up, believe it or not, nor do I want to do a blog of judgement and argument. I want to tell you about my story.
I spoke up in Jersey because things are terribly wrong in the church of england there and I was treated appallingly and some damaging and unChristian practice goes on there.
Peter Ould
Every time I see the red P with a cross symbol show up on my blog feed, people reading my blog because the Church of England Vicar who blogs about sex and jeers at me and rubbishes me is referring them to my blog, I always think 'Surely that is a Satanic Symbol'?
Looking it up, sick because of looking through archives of Satanic, demonic and occult symbols, yes, it is strikingly similar to a number of demonic symbols.
There are many similar, and it does not surprise me, this man who has never met me but has rabidly judged, belittled and rubbished me is no Christian.
The cross over the cross is symbolic of wiping Jesus out.
Satan I forbid you
From Heart and Mind
from House and Home
I forbid you,
and your advocate
Peter Ould,
and his works and empire,
I curse Peter Ould's wrongdoing
and misleading work
that misuses Jesus' Name
In Jesus' Name
I command an end to it
Amen
http://www.batteredsheep.com/darkness.html
I do not believe that any person who does as Peter Ould has done in condemning me without having met me or heard my side, can stand before God. He is like a school bully, not a representative of God, and he can mock this post, call me mad and do what he likes, but he will not change the fact that he is going against God in his attacks on me.
Psalm 69. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+69&version=NIV
What Peter Ould does against me, he does against Christ, and his own faults as he judges what he percieves mine to be, are glaringly obvious.
I should not waste energy or sadness on this lost man, Peter Ould, I should pray for him and ask you to do the same, because no matter how he judges me, he is going to face much worse before God for acting as he does while he is an ordained priest.
There is nothing right about an ordained priest harassing and insulting someone he has never met, and there is nothing right about him blogging about sexuality, and there is nothing right about his judgemental behaviour and spreading of libel and untruths.
Psalm 69 prophesies how Jesus was treated by the pharisees, and nothing has changed.
I pray that Peter Ould repents and renews his commitment to God. Amen
Looking it up, sick because of looking through archives of Satanic, demonic and occult symbols, yes, it is strikingly similar to a number of demonic symbols.
There are many similar, and it does not surprise me, this man who has never met me but has rabidly judged, belittled and rubbished me is no Christian.The cross over the cross is symbolic of wiping Jesus out.
Satan I forbid you
From Heart and Mind
from House and Home
I forbid you,
and your advocate
Peter Ould,
and his works and empire,
I curse Peter Ould's wrongdoing
and misleading work
that misuses Jesus' Name
In Jesus' Name
I command an end to it
Amen
http://www.batteredsheep.com/darkness.html
I do not believe that any person who does as Peter Ould has done in condemning me without having met me or heard my side, can stand before God. He is like a school bully, not a representative of God, and he can mock this post, call me mad and do what he likes, but he will not change the fact that he is going against God in his attacks on me.
Psalm 69. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+69&version=NIV
What Peter Ould does against me, he does against Christ, and his own faults as he judges what he percieves mine to be, are glaringly obvious.
I should not waste energy or sadness on this lost man, Peter Ould, I should pray for him and ask you to do the same, because no matter how he judges me, he is going to face much worse before God for acting as he does while he is an ordained priest.
There is nothing right about an ordained priest harassing and insulting someone he has never met, and there is nothing right about him blogging about sexuality, and there is nothing right about his judgemental behaviour and spreading of libel and untruths.
Psalm 69 prophesies how Jesus was treated by the pharisees, and nothing has changed.
I pray that Peter Ould repents and renews his commitment to God. Amen
The Book of Mormon
Well I went to the town to get food.
I was accosted by some Mormons on the way, you know how Mormons get you backed into a corner and talk to you? (no offence to any Mormons reading this, but you do, don't you?).
Anyway, by the end of the conversation I had nearly managed to convert them, I will try again next time, if they don't hide when they see me.
As the mormons educated me on how a prophet called Tom...? was now leading the army of Christians, I asked them a question that stopped them dead in their tracks.
'Did Jesus or St. Paul or any of the New Testament Apostles prophesy that there would be prophets such as Tom...? or others that the Mormons believe in?
Wow, talk about deathly silence, for all of 30 seconds!
They told me that this was a good question, and then they changed the subject.
I wished them blessing and told them that God had placed me in my church and I had to obey Him, and we parted company in a friendly manner and they were not going to follow up as they usually do to people.
Better than Baptizing the Jehova's witnesses.
I was accosted by some Mormons on the way, you know how Mormons get you backed into a corner and talk to you? (no offence to any Mormons reading this, but you do, don't you?).
Anyway, by the end of the conversation I had nearly managed to convert them, I will try again next time, if they don't hide when they see me.
As the mormons educated me on how a prophet called Tom...? was now leading the army of Christians, I asked them a question that stopped them dead in their tracks.
'Did Jesus or St. Paul or any of the New Testament Apostles prophesy that there would be prophets such as Tom...? or others that the Mormons believe in?
Wow, talk about deathly silence, for all of 30 seconds!
They told me that this was a good question, and then they changed the subject.
I wished them blessing and told them that God had placed me in my church and I had to obey Him, and we parted company in a friendly manner and they were not going to follow up as they usually do to people.
Better than Baptizing the Jehova's witnesses.
requests and questions
I can do posts on request and answer questions. It helps me if I have requests and questions, because I can end up stuck in trauma and things get blanked out.
However, I only answer if it is reasonable, not if it is related to Peter Ould and his followers.
However, I only answer if it is reasonable, not if it is related to Peter Ould and his followers.
The Jersey Bloggers
I should be walking to try and get some food, but I am tempted to sit here and blog a while.
I thought I would write about the Jersey bloggers.
Jersey has a group of Islanders who blog about articles in the news, and as you know, the links to their blogs are here on my blog.
The bloggers tend to write about articles in the news, and tend to investigate these articles in-depth, bringing up sides of things that the mainstream media prefer not to discuss and things that the government seem reluctant to share with the general public.
It was through Bob Hill, that I actually found out about the Korris report, because although the Diocese of Winchester had senselessly traced me through the police, they did not tell me about the Korris report, and the Diocese of Winchester were completely unclear as to what they had had me traced for at all.
All I had heard after the police traced me, was some aimless waffle from one of the Bishop's staff, and then the hate campaign against me by the Jersey Deanery, led by Senator Bailhache, so I was surprised to come across Bob's blog, and find that it wasn't all hatred and slander as the Jersey Deanery were producing, it was actually quite kind, quite supportive, although misled by the Korris report, as the comments on the blog were to a certain extent.
Because the comments and blog were so supportive, I contacted Bob, and he wanted to know more of my side, although in the confusion he does not seem to have ever completely got my story.
Anyway, at the time I had email conversations with Bob, and he encouraged me to speak to him on Skype, which was difficult due to me being homeless and not being able to skype anywhere private or with a decent signal.
Through Bob, I got to know the other Jersey bloggers, who have done many blogs about my situation and the circumstances surrounding the Jersey matter. The problem has been, that the Korris report has influenced a lot of people and the Korris report is inaccurate and did not include an interview with me and thus does not tell my side of things accurately.
I am astounded at Winchester for producing a report that omitted my side of things, and then proceeding with the Steel investigation and continuing to omit my side of things and ignore protests that Steel was conflicted.
Anyway, the bloggers have kept blogging about my case, but the Church of England have not listened to them, or me, and we have been bypassed at every point of this investigation, apart from when Bob Hill pushed for an interview with John Gladwin, and we were seen briefly and further meetings promised, never occured. It has not been a fair or properly managed investigation at any point, and I am grateful to Bob and the bloggers for being my only voice, and inspiring me to do my own blog on the matter despite bullying and rudeness from church of england priest and part time sex blogger, Peter Ould.
I am not sure why the Church of England, after making such a huge fuss about safeguarding and pretended to care about my welfare, have allowed one of their employees, Peter Ould, to keep bullying me and rubbishing me and acting on behalf of the Jersey Deanery, especially as he is neither part of the Diocese of Winchester nor the Deanery of Jersey, and all in all, why they allow him, as an ordained priest to interfere as he has, damage a me, a vulnerable adult, or even, if they have any morals left, allow him to blog about sex? It is all pretty dire, and kind of makes any credibility on the church of England's part vanish.
The Jersey bloggers have done their best to present the less publicized side of things, what the mainstream media omit and some of my side of things although they do not fully know my side firsthand and sometimes rely on the Korris report.
I am grateful to the bloggers for doing their best to help and support me and ensure that my side, which some of the Jersey media try to quash, is heard.
I have been deeply damaged and hurt by the hate campaign by the Jersey Deanery and their efforts to portray me as a violent, insane troublemaker etc, while my side of things has been omitted from their less than balanced media, where the bias is less than fair.
Neither the Korris report nor any other media tells my full story, the story of how I was got in for a punishment by the police the day they told me by email that they had let my abuser go, nothing is told of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and how I was shunned in the Jersey churches for reporting the church warden and how Jane Fisher denied that from the mainland and blamed me, and told me my abuser was 'a Christian who got things wrong', despite the fact that by then she must have known his history.
What a terrible thing for a safeguarding officer to tell an abuse survivor who's wounds were raw, and she continued in that vein for many months, while protecting the Jersey Deanery members who were maligning me, shunning me and causing me harm as a result of me reporting the church warden.
There is so much that the Korris report and media simply do not tell you, but the bloggers have done their best on the material that they have got, to represent the side of things that is not heard, and I am grateful to them.
Unfortunately I feel that the bloggers are never going to be heard by the majority, and neither am I, nor is there ever going to be a full, balanced and effective investigation. The last nine months Winchester investigation has been a shambolic, deeply harmful mess, that has wasted a lot of money and achieved pretty much nothing, and it continues with Bishops going to Jersey where they have the choice of bowing to the Jersey way or being told where to go.
Bishop Dakin's recent statement was so utterly incongruent and lacking in sense or direction, and surely the church hierachy must question why he did this high-profile investigation while treating me like dirt and not including my side of things or allowing me to answer accusations made against me by his Jersey Deanery.
The whole investigation by the Bishop has been lacking in integrity because of the way it has focussed only on the Dean and completely omitted my complaint about Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt and the vast damage they did to me from Jersey through to my return to Winchester and onwards, completely inaccurately described by the Korris report, which shows strongly how the Korris report was deeply influenced by Jane Fisher.
The Jersey Bloggers and Polo have been great in being a voice for me, even when they only had the Korris report to go on, and it remains difficult for me to be a voice for myself because I am so traumatized.
The Jersey bloggers are a voice for the voiceless and speak out about things that are hidden, credit to them.
I thought I would write about the Jersey bloggers.
Jersey has a group of Islanders who blog about articles in the news, and as you know, the links to their blogs are here on my blog.
The bloggers tend to write about articles in the news, and tend to investigate these articles in-depth, bringing up sides of things that the mainstream media prefer not to discuss and things that the government seem reluctant to share with the general public.
It was through Bob Hill, that I actually found out about the Korris report, because although the Diocese of Winchester had senselessly traced me through the police, they did not tell me about the Korris report, and the Diocese of Winchester were completely unclear as to what they had had me traced for at all.
All I had heard after the police traced me, was some aimless waffle from one of the Bishop's staff, and then the hate campaign against me by the Jersey Deanery, led by Senator Bailhache, so I was surprised to come across Bob's blog, and find that it wasn't all hatred and slander as the Jersey Deanery were producing, it was actually quite kind, quite supportive, although misled by the Korris report, as the comments on the blog were to a certain extent.
Because the comments and blog were so supportive, I contacted Bob, and he wanted to know more of my side, although in the confusion he does not seem to have ever completely got my story.
Anyway, at the time I had email conversations with Bob, and he encouraged me to speak to him on Skype, which was difficult due to me being homeless and not being able to skype anywhere private or with a decent signal.
Through Bob, I got to know the other Jersey bloggers, who have done many blogs about my situation and the circumstances surrounding the Jersey matter. The problem has been, that the Korris report has influenced a lot of people and the Korris report is inaccurate and did not include an interview with me and thus does not tell my side of things accurately.
I am astounded at Winchester for producing a report that omitted my side of things, and then proceeding with the Steel investigation and continuing to omit my side of things and ignore protests that Steel was conflicted.
Anyway, the bloggers have kept blogging about my case, but the Church of England have not listened to them, or me, and we have been bypassed at every point of this investigation, apart from when Bob Hill pushed for an interview with John Gladwin, and we were seen briefly and further meetings promised, never occured. It has not been a fair or properly managed investigation at any point, and I am grateful to Bob and the bloggers for being my only voice, and inspiring me to do my own blog on the matter despite bullying and rudeness from church of england priest and part time sex blogger, Peter Ould.
I am not sure why the Church of England, after making such a huge fuss about safeguarding and pretended to care about my welfare, have allowed one of their employees, Peter Ould, to keep bullying me and rubbishing me and acting on behalf of the Jersey Deanery, especially as he is neither part of the Diocese of Winchester nor the Deanery of Jersey, and all in all, why they allow him, as an ordained priest to interfere as he has, damage a me, a vulnerable adult, or even, if they have any morals left, allow him to blog about sex? It is all pretty dire, and kind of makes any credibility on the church of England's part vanish.
The Jersey bloggers have done their best to present the less publicized side of things, what the mainstream media omit and some of my side of things although they do not fully know my side firsthand and sometimes rely on the Korris report.
I am grateful to the bloggers for doing their best to help and support me and ensure that my side, which some of the Jersey media try to quash, is heard.
I have been deeply damaged and hurt by the hate campaign by the Jersey Deanery and their efforts to portray me as a violent, insane troublemaker etc, while my side of things has been omitted from their less than balanced media, where the bias is less than fair.
Neither the Korris report nor any other media tells my full story, the story of how I was got in for a punishment by the police the day they told me by email that they had let my abuser go, nothing is told of the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and how I was shunned in the Jersey churches for reporting the church warden and how Jane Fisher denied that from the mainland and blamed me, and told me my abuser was 'a Christian who got things wrong', despite the fact that by then she must have known his history.
What a terrible thing for a safeguarding officer to tell an abuse survivor who's wounds were raw, and she continued in that vein for many months, while protecting the Jersey Deanery members who were maligning me, shunning me and causing me harm as a result of me reporting the church warden.
There is so much that the Korris report and media simply do not tell you, but the bloggers have done their best on the material that they have got, to represent the side of things that is not heard, and I am grateful to them.
Unfortunately I feel that the bloggers are never going to be heard by the majority, and neither am I, nor is there ever going to be a full, balanced and effective investigation. The last nine months Winchester investigation has been a shambolic, deeply harmful mess, that has wasted a lot of money and achieved pretty much nothing, and it continues with Bishops going to Jersey where they have the choice of bowing to the Jersey way or being told where to go.
Bishop Dakin's recent statement was so utterly incongruent and lacking in sense or direction, and surely the church hierachy must question why he did this high-profile investigation while treating me like dirt and not including my side of things or allowing me to answer accusations made against me by his Jersey Deanery.
The whole investigation by the Bishop has been lacking in integrity because of the way it has focussed only on the Dean and completely omitted my complaint about Jane Fisher and Bishop Scott-Joynt and the vast damage they did to me from Jersey through to my return to Winchester and onwards, completely inaccurately described by the Korris report, which shows strongly how the Korris report was deeply influenced by Jane Fisher.
The Jersey Bloggers and Polo have been great in being a voice for me, even when they only had the Korris report to go on, and it remains difficult for me to be a voice for myself because I am so traumatized.
The Jersey bloggers are a voice for the voiceless and speak out about things that are hidden, credit to them.
This post is an answer to a request
Good morning.
Last night I went to a Christmas party at church, we had a great time, and I wish church would have more Christmas Parties, one every week would do just nicely.
Now Peter Ould will be tearing his hair out with frustration because this is another post about anything and everything, and I gather he would rather read something constructive. Sorry Peter, you can give this one a miss, but I have been asked to do a blog about my outdoor adventures in Jersey, and so I will, I will add a few things about the church warden though, if that is any help?
I can do a post about an exercise in the fundementals of orthodoxy if you like, but I am not sure what that really means? does it mean vouyerism or being judgemental and condemning someone you have never met, after interviewing the wrongdoers and getting their cover-up side of things, and having a bias because you are part of the same establishment as them?
Jersey was an outdoor place for me, I spent a lot of time on outdoor activities.
One of my favourite therapeutic activities was rock climbing, I used to scare people by climbing alone with no harness, although I feel that apart from the craziest thing I have ever done, one particular climb on the North Coast, I wasn't at too much risk.
My favourite climb was the one behind the Highlands Hotel, where I used to scare the tourists maybe, and annoy the seagulls, but I would climb right out on the ledge, often to watch the sunset.
If I had a lot on my mind, focusing on the rocks and getting out there beyond anyone and having the sound of the sea and the view, used to really comfort me. Sitting alone on the warm granite and watching the sea, and waving to the ferries.
Another of my outdoor activities was boogie boarding, which is like surfing but not standing up, I started this in Dorset and never grew out of it, I did have surf lessons but my leg/s mean I cannot pop up or stand on a surfboard easily to get a good surf, so I tended to boogie board, and occasionally hire a surfboard for an hour, and for the record, yes, I have succesfully surfed. But I used to look at the huge waves approaching me on St. Ouens Bay as I paddled out and wonder what on earth I was doing!
Photography was another of my hobbies, as described elsewhere, I had thousands of Jersey photographs, the North Coast, Corbiere, sunsets, St Ouens Bay, Plemont, noirmont, Fort Regent, Gorey, St. Catherine's, so many Photos.
I now have only a handful of Photos.
Battle of Flowers and BBC Springwatch.
In my first summer in Jersey, I was a marshall for the Battle of Flowers, it was hard work for me, because of communication and crowds, but I felt that it was a good thing to do, to help out in the community, as I did previously at events in Hampshire.
I marshalled again the following year, but by that time, I had left the churchwarden and his wife who hurt me, and they turned up where I was marshalling and ruined it for me, and the following year, I simply was too distressed at the thought of seeing them, and did not dare to marshall.
That third year, I actually had complimentary tickets to go and see the Battle of Flowers as a spectator, as I had volunteered with BBC Springwatch that year, helping to clear a beach of litter near Corbiere, but I did not even go and spectate at Battle, because I did not want to see the church warden and his wife. The church warden always laughed when he saw me, as if what he had done to me was a joke, and he and his wife had been able to continue working at the church and treating the whole issue as if I was the one to blame and that life was just fine for them, while I was left suffering, and so I avoided them.
I was never much good at walking, but Jersey had some lovely walks, along the North Coast cliffs or along the long walk from St. Helier to St. Aubin, so sometimes I walked, and often I stopped and looked at the sea.
When it came to running, I never could run well, but while in Jersey I was not aware until my last months there that I was asthmatic, and I was also unaware of the full extent of the problems with my legs, so I tried to run, sometimes with my house group, a little group of us would run, and often I would run alone along Grev d' Azette, or St. Aubin's bay or St. Ouen's, until Kevin told me not to run on Sand as it was not good for my legs, I still ran on St. Ouen's beach, on the hard sand, and Chris, before he asked me out, said he had seen me out running, which made me blush. I used to try to run the length of St. Ouen's bay as practice for my fitness tests as well.
The toughest run was through the sand dunes at St. Ouen's, the Victoria college students were made to run through there, so I used to try to.
Despite running being very hard and the fact that I couldn't get any speed up, I always loved running, and I may never run again now, but I wish I could.
Of course sailing was my favourite hobby, and I have left writing about this because it is indeed hard to write about, because even if I wanted to sail again now, I am too damaged physically to be able to sail competently.
It was when I first met the church warden that he said he was a 'dinghy instructor' and he would teach me to sail one day.
Looking back, it is funny that he had only just met me and he said that, but that was not the only thing he said that was unusual at the time.
Anyway. He did indeed start me off learning to sail, but sadly he also started his misbehaviour out there on the water, asking me such questions as how did I deal with my sexual urges? and other worrying comments, which, had I been properly able to understand at the time, I would have realised that he then that he was overstepping boundaries, as it was, the sexual content of things crept in gradually.
Anyway, the church warden started teaching me to sail, but in many ways he was so derogatory and he didn't have much time for sailing, so I progressed to doing my sailing training and sailing elsewhere and with other people, and even getting my own singlehander sailing dinghy and also doing tall ship sailing, and sailing became the joy of my life, every saturday I would hurry down to the harbour, and the weekends were about sailing, dinghy sailing and racing in the bay, and sailing the bigger boats down to France or the other islands.
My best memories of sailing were the weekends moored at Chausey or Guernsey, doing the guard boat for the Sark to Jersey rowing race, and night sailing back from France on completion of my competent crew certificate, helming and avoiding lobster pots or sitting out on the foredeck and watching the lights on the telecoms tower on Jersey getting closer.
I guess I also remember nearly managing to sink a Lazer Stratos in strong winds, and terrifying solo sailing practice on St. brelade's bay with the wind turning round quicker than I could keep up :)
And the dolphins playing round the boat near St. Malo, and the racing, and the mishaps getting in and out of the harbour on the tide.
And of course, that BBQ on the Ecrehous, which would have been marginally better if someone had remembered the soft drinks! It was ok with just beer and wine I guess! :) And we saw seals.
Even bad weather days when we could only do boat maintenance were ok, because everyone was so nice and such fun.
when I had to leave Jersey, it took two years before I could even look at the sea again, I was so hurt.
Low water Fishing was another of my outdoors hobbies, Kevin and I used to go low water fishing, and when he left Jersey, he said it was the only thing he would go back to Jersey for and the only thing he would miss, at the time that surprised me, but I understand it now, I remained unaware of just how troubled Jersey was, despite the brutality and raid of my home and imprisonment I suffered the day the police sent me the email saying they were not prosecuting the church warden.
Low water fishing at Grev d' Azette on a low spring tide, we used to follow the tide out, and Kevin showed me how to look for the holes that razor fish left, and how to scoop the razor fish out, he also showed me the salt method, which he didn't think much of.
We looked under the rocks and found fish and crabs and other creatures, and we looked for mussels and other shell fish, but we never looked for Ormers.
We always had to watch the tide, as the tides in Jersey are very rapid, especially on a spring tide, hence following the tide out as it headed towards low tide, because the turn of the tide and the swiftness with which it approached us as we worked, was always amazing.
When we had finished fishing, we would return home with our catch, and Kevin, who was an excellent cook, would cook the catch with pasta, and it was delicious.
And there were always a few grains of sand in it.
Other outdoor activities included playing football for a short but happy time, I loved it but was not very fit by then, the asthma that had crept into my life was increasing under the stress I was suffering, and so I was not speedy, and I was not able to shout to my team mates as well as our lovely captain and coach would have liked, but it was great fun, I was not well off, but I remember the momentous day when I bought my own football boots, and I also remember how they were left behind in Jersey with all my possessions.
There were always coasteering days that I wanted to join in with in Jersey, but I was always so busy, there were so many activities that I wanted to try and never got around to it.
This is a bonus for the person who foolishly asked me to describe my outdoors activities in Jersey, may I describe other activities?
Well, simplest first, back then I had a car and I could drive, and one of my favourites was just driving to the viewpoints at Noirmont and similar places and sitting enjoying the view, very simple, I liked driving and the views, and taking photos if the opportunity arose, I loved to go and watch the sunrise or sunset.
I helped out with a variety of charity and community events, just as I used to on the mainland, Battle of Flowers, checkpoint on the round the island walk, springwatch, helping at Autism Jersey, helping with fundraising for a children's charity and helping with overseas aid charities, walking dogs for the rescue charity, helping with the Stroke Association as best I could as my life deteriorated rapidly, helping at the boat show, and more. I don't mean to boast, but these activities were a joy to me, just as sailing and photography were.
I love helping people but am not good at closeness or communication.
Studying was another of my joys, and still would be if only life wasn't so hard now.
The first course I did in Jersey was a short course on acupressure for neck and shoulder, it has been very beneficial ever since, because I get severe incapacitating pain at regular intervals, and acupressure, which in a way, applies some of the same pressure that physiotherapy does, can be quite effective in relieving the pain.
I went on to study two French courses at the college and had started a third, and also took GCSE exams as a private candidate after teaching myself for the exams.
I loved learning, and while in Jersey I taught myself languages online and made pen friends on an international language site, I also studied many and various subjects at the free online colleges, and taught myself theory about sailing and knot tying (I never got my knots right), and sailing-wise, I did my competent crew certificate on a yacht and my dinghy sailing levels one and two, and was studying for my level three right at the end when my health deteriorated so much that I could not sail.
I also had very autistic hobbies like following my favourite ships on the AIS, but shh, thats a secret :) don't call me an anorak. Now that the grief of losing Jersey has faded a bit, I follow the AIS sometimes.
AIS is a shipping movement map.
Anyway, I also had a try at karate, although my leg didn't like that, it was fun and the guys were really nice, and because of how I left Jersey, they never got the suit they lent me back.
Karate was a challenge, because to get to my class, it was impossible to avoid the churchwarden and his wife, just as it often was on Sunday as I went to church, there is only one road and they used it and so did I, so that used to upset me.
I met a lot of nice people in Jersey and I have memory of many nice cups of coffee and outings and times together with those people, I think it was the most busy and social time of my life.
I learned carpet bowls from the church warden and his wife while I was with them, they used to run a bowling group, but some of the members were also their house group members, who thought I was an imbecile and patronized me, so that spoiled it a bit.
church was a big part of life, of course, and house group, and church activities, I wont say too much about church in this post, because that is what the blog is all about.
So that was my week in Jersey, sailing, study, sea, service, etc. although being under the stress I was under in Jersey diminished the joy of my activities a bit.
I also worked, and loved my work, but I think I will do another post about work another time, because it will be sad for me to remember, and because it is a full length post.
Last night I went to a Christmas party at church, we had a great time, and I wish church would have more Christmas Parties, one every week would do just nicely.
Now Peter Ould will be tearing his hair out with frustration because this is another post about anything and everything, and I gather he would rather read something constructive. Sorry Peter, you can give this one a miss, but I have been asked to do a blog about my outdoor adventures in Jersey, and so I will, I will add a few things about the church warden though, if that is any help?
I can do a post about an exercise in the fundementals of orthodoxy if you like, but I am not sure what that really means? does it mean vouyerism or being judgemental and condemning someone you have never met, after interviewing the wrongdoers and getting their cover-up side of things, and having a bias because you are part of the same establishment as them?
Jersey was an outdoor place for me, I spent a lot of time on outdoor activities.
One of my favourite therapeutic activities was rock climbing, I used to scare people by climbing alone with no harness, although I feel that apart from the craziest thing I have ever done, one particular climb on the North Coast, I wasn't at too much risk.
My favourite climb was the one behind the Highlands Hotel, where I used to scare the tourists maybe, and annoy the seagulls, but I would climb right out on the ledge, often to watch the sunset.
If I had a lot on my mind, focusing on the rocks and getting out there beyond anyone and having the sound of the sea and the view, used to really comfort me. Sitting alone on the warm granite and watching the sea, and waving to the ferries.
Another of my outdoor activities was boogie boarding, which is like surfing but not standing up, I started this in Dorset and never grew out of it, I did have surf lessons but my leg/s mean I cannot pop up or stand on a surfboard easily to get a good surf, so I tended to boogie board, and occasionally hire a surfboard for an hour, and for the record, yes, I have succesfully surfed. But I used to look at the huge waves approaching me on St. Ouens Bay as I paddled out and wonder what on earth I was doing!
Photography was another of my hobbies, as described elsewhere, I had thousands of Jersey photographs, the North Coast, Corbiere, sunsets, St Ouens Bay, Plemont, noirmont, Fort Regent, Gorey, St. Catherine's, so many Photos.
I now have only a handful of Photos.
Battle of Flowers and BBC Springwatch.
In my first summer in Jersey, I was a marshall for the Battle of Flowers, it was hard work for me, because of communication and crowds, but I felt that it was a good thing to do, to help out in the community, as I did previously at events in Hampshire.
I marshalled again the following year, but by that time, I had left the churchwarden and his wife who hurt me, and they turned up where I was marshalling and ruined it for me, and the following year, I simply was too distressed at the thought of seeing them, and did not dare to marshall.
That third year, I actually had complimentary tickets to go and see the Battle of Flowers as a spectator, as I had volunteered with BBC Springwatch that year, helping to clear a beach of litter near Corbiere, but I did not even go and spectate at Battle, because I did not want to see the church warden and his wife. The church warden always laughed when he saw me, as if what he had done to me was a joke, and he and his wife had been able to continue working at the church and treating the whole issue as if I was the one to blame and that life was just fine for them, while I was left suffering, and so I avoided them.
I was never much good at walking, but Jersey had some lovely walks, along the North Coast cliffs or along the long walk from St. Helier to St. Aubin, so sometimes I walked, and often I stopped and looked at the sea.
When it came to running, I never could run well, but while in Jersey I was not aware until my last months there that I was asthmatic, and I was also unaware of the full extent of the problems with my legs, so I tried to run, sometimes with my house group, a little group of us would run, and often I would run alone along Grev d' Azette, or St. Aubin's bay or St. Ouen's, until Kevin told me not to run on Sand as it was not good for my legs, I still ran on St. Ouen's beach, on the hard sand, and Chris, before he asked me out, said he had seen me out running, which made me blush. I used to try to run the length of St. Ouen's bay as practice for my fitness tests as well.
The toughest run was through the sand dunes at St. Ouen's, the Victoria college students were made to run through there, so I used to try to.
Despite running being very hard and the fact that I couldn't get any speed up, I always loved running, and I may never run again now, but I wish I could.
Of course sailing was my favourite hobby, and I have left writing about this because it is indeed hard to write about, because even if I wanted to sail again now, I am too damaged physically to be able to sail competently.
It was when I first met the church warden that he said he was a 'dinghy instructor' and he would teach me to sail one day.
Looking back, it is funny that he had only just met me and he said that, but that was not the only thing he said that was unusual at the time.
Anyway. He did indeed start me off learning to sail, but sadly he also started his misbehaviour out there on the water, asking me such questions as how did I deal with my sexual urges? and other worrying comments, which, had I been properly able to understand at the time, I would have realised that he then that he was overstepping boundaries, as it was, the sexual content of things crept in gradually.
Anyway, the church warden started teaching me to sail, but in many ways he was so derogatory and he didn't have much time for sailing, so I progressed to doing my sailing training and sailing elsewhere and with other people, and even getting my own singlehander sailing dinghy and also doing tall ship sailing, and sailing became the joy of my life, every saturday I would hurry down to the harbour, and the weekends were about sailing, dinghy sailing and racing in the bay, and sailing the bigger boats down to France or the other islands.
My best memories of sailing were the weekends moored at Chausey or Guernsey, doing the guard boat for the Sark to Jersey rowing race, and night sailing back from France on completion of my competent crew certificate, helming and avoiding lobster pots or sitting out on the foredeck and watching the lights on the telecoms tower on Jersey getting closer.
I guess I also remember nearly managing to sink a Lazer Stratos in strong winds, and terrifying solo sailing practice on St. brelade's bay with the wind turning round quicker than I could keep up :)
And the dolphins playing round the boat near St. Malo, and the racing, and the mishaps getting in and out of the harbour on the tide.
And of course, that BBQ on the Ecrehous, which would have been marginally better if someone had remembered the soft drinks! It was ok with just beer and wine I guess! :) And we saw seals.
Even bad weather days when we could only do boat maintenance were ok, because everyone was so nice and such fun.
when I had to leave Jersey, it took two years before I could even look at the sea again, I was so hurt.
Low water Fishing was another of my outdoors hobbies, Kevin and I used to go low water fishing, and when he left Jersey, he said it was the only thing he would go back to Jersey for and the only thing he would miss, at the time that surprised me, but I understand it now, I remained unaware of just how troubled Jersey was, despite the brutality and raid of my home and imprisonment I suffered the day the police sent me the email saying they were not prosecuting the church warden.
Low water fishing at Grev d' Azette on a low spring tide, we used to follow the tide out, and Kevin showed me how to look for the holes that razor fish left, and how to scoop the razor fish out, he also showed me the salt method, which he didn't think much of.
We looked under the rocks and found fish and crabs and other creatures, and we looked for mussels and other shell fish, but we never looked for Ormers.
We always had to watch the tide, as the tides in Jersey are very rapid, especially on a spring tide, hence following the tide out as it headed towards low tide, because the turn of the tide and the swiftness with which it approached us as we worked, was always amazing.
When we had finished fishing, we would return home with our catch, and Kevin, who was an excellent cook, would cook the catch with pasta, and it was delicious.
And there were always a few grains of sand in it.
Other outdoor activities included playing football for a short but happy time, I loved it but was not very fit by then, the asthma that had crept into my life was increasing under the stress I was suffering, and so I was not speedy, and I was not able to shout to my team mates as well as our lovely captain and coach would have liked, but it was great fun, I was not well off, but I remember the momentous day when I bought my own football boots, and I also remember how they were left behind in Jersey with all my possessions.
There were always coasteering days that I wanted to join in with in Jersey, but I was always so busy, there were so many activities that I wanted to try and never got around to it.
This is a bonus for the person who foolishly asked me to describe my outdoors activities in Jersey, may I describe other activities?
Well, simplest first, back then I had a car and I could drive, and one of my favourites was just driving to the viewpoints at Noirmont and similar places and sitting enjoying the view, very simple, I liked driving and the views, and taking photos if the opportunity arose, I loved to go and watch the sunrise or sunset.
I helped out with a variety of charity and community events, just as I used to on the mainland, Battle of Flowers, checkpoint on the round the island walk, springwatch, helping at Autism Jersey, helping with fundraising for a children's charity and helping with overseas aid charities, walking dogs for the rescue charity, helping with the Stroke Association as best I could as my life deteriorated rapidly, helping at the boat show, and more. I don't mean to boast, but these activities were a joy to me, just as sailing and photography were.
I love helping people but am not good at closeness or communication.
Studying was another of my joys, and still would be if only life wasn't so hard now.
The first course I did in Jersey was a short course on acupressure for neck and shoulder, it has been very beneficial ever since, because I get severe incapacitating pain at regular intervals, and acupressure, which in a way, applies some of the same pressure that physiotherapy does, can be quite effective in relieving the pain.
I went on to study two French courses at the college and had started a third, and also took GCSE exams as a private candidate after teaching myself for the exams.
I loved learning, and while in Jersey I taught myself languages online and made pen friends on an international language site, I also studied many and various subjects at the free online colleges, and taught myself theory about sailing and knot tying (I never got my knots right), and sailing-wise, I did my competent crew certificate on a yacht and my dinghy sailing levels one and two, and was studying for my level three right at the end when my health deteriorated so much that I could not sail.
I also had very autistic hobbies like following my favourite ships on the AIS, but shh, thats a secret :) don't call me an anorak. Now that the grief of losing Jersey has faded a bit, I follow the AIS sometimes.
AIS is a shipping movement map.
Anyway, I also had a try at karate, although my leg didn't like that, it was fun and the guys were really nice, and because of how I left Jersey, they never got the suit they lent me back.
Karate was a challenge, because to get to my class, it was impossible to avoid the churchwarden and his wife, just as it often was on Sunday as I went to church, there is only one road and they used it and so did I, so that used to upset me.
I met a lot of nice people in Jersey and I have memory of many nice cups of coffee and outings and times together with those people, I think it was the most busy and social time of my life.
I learned carpet bowls from the church warden and his wife while I was with them, they used to run a bowling group, but some of the members were also their house group members, who thought I was an imbecile and patronized me, so that spoiled it a bit.
church was a big part of life, of course, and house group, and church activities, I wont say too much about church in this post, because that is what the blog is all about.
So that was my week in Jersey, sailing, study, sea, service, etc. although being under the stress I was under in Jersey diminished the joy of my activities a bit.
I also worked, and loved my work, but I think I will do another post about work another time, because it will be sad for me to remember, and because it is a full length post.
Friday, 6 December 2013
anything and everything
As I just put on twitter, bless you Guernsey, I will hold off doing a post called '10 things to do with Guernsey Gache' for the moment.
I wish someone would come and tuck me in my blankets and read me a story :)
I wish someone would come and tuck me in my blankets and read me a story :)
Steve who?
Apologies for the post I just removed, I got a comment from Steve Finnell, but it went into emails instead of comments and I thought it could be more trouble from the Church.
I have just had a look at Steve's Blog, which is the real deal :)
All the hard facts that us mortals never want to think about.
http://steve-finnell.blogspot.co.uk/
I have just had a look at Steve's Blog, which is the real deal :)
All the hard facts that us mortals never want to think about.
http://steve-finnell.blogspot.co.uk/
Bishops
Hello.
Yesterday I was on the move all day, despite the weather, and the Commodor Clipper was also running despite the weather, the sea was rough and the weather was wild, but much was achieved.
This morning I was horrified to get a message about my blog being hacked, but relieved to find that appeared to be an error.
I have had a lot of feedback about the blog recently, most of it very positive, and that has caused me to think.
Which is a rare event in itself.
People have told me about things in the blog that stand out, and parts of the blog that they like and that amuse them.
And I have been told that the blog says a lot about me, and apparently that is helpful.
Good.
It would also probably be helpful if I can start to describe more of my experience, and I will.
One thing I am trying to avoid, is writing my experiences when they come back to me in flashbacks and strong emotional upsets, and when I am not having flashbacks, I tend to bury the past and live day to day.
Hence not speaking about it much.
Also having been so badly invalidated by the Church of England, I still feel invalidated, and thus it is hard to write.
Excuse my French recently, I was so stressed that I needed to let off steam.
Bob and Ian have apparently produced new blogs on the Jersey matter today.
What seems very unusual is that the Bishops are staying at Government House in Jersey, staying with Senator Bailhache's second-in-command, rather than at a top hotel, how unusual, I guess it doesn't make any difference where they stay, they haven't taken my side of the story any more than anyone else did and are not going to bring justice, nor will they change anything in Jersey.
Bishop Trevor Willmot actually joined in with the cult-like church games at St. Matthews, Jersey when I was there, repeating what prophecy he was told to give, something about fear, and he is Peter Ould's Bishop and doesn't control his bullying of a vulnerable person, and he was Juliet Montague's friend and did nothing about what was going on in her benefice. She always said he fancied her, and they were close.
So, how is Bishop Trevor the right person to send to Jersey?
Bishop Trevor at St. Matthews, Jersey, said 'I sense that there are people here suffering fear, would they please come up to have hands laid on them'. Heather Warren used to go round telling selected people what prophecy they were to have.
Very dangerous to manipulate people that way, because, in reality, why would a God who allows abuse victims, vulnerable people, and disabled to suffer and be marginalized, come to one of the churches responsible and give out visions publicly so people could be manipulated and have hands laid on them? Is it really likely that the real God is only interested in public showing off and not the welfare of the vulnerable?
Basically, no matter who the Bishop sends to Jersey anyway, they will either do as they are told by the Jersey Deanery or be sent away with a flea in their ear.
I do not like the idea of fleas in ears, but people do it when they are angry.
I think the whole statement by the Bishop of Winchester was a face-saving exercise, and now apparently this Bishop visit which the Bishop of Winchester said was about safeguarding, it about repairing the rift between Jersey and Winchester?
How nice that an effort is made to soothe their hurt feelings while I am left condemned, voiceless, destitute and ruined and without my complaint dealt with!
Ian's blog:
http://therightofreply.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-church-chump-still-in-power-struggle.html
Yesterday I was on the move all day, despite the weather, and the Commodor Clipper was also running despite the weather, the sea was rough and the weather was wild, but much was achieved.
This morning I was horrified to get a message about my blog being hacked, but relieved to find that appeared to be an error.
I have had a lot of feedback about the blog recently, most of it very positive, and that has caused me to think.
Which is a rare event in itself.
People have told me about things in the blog that stand out, and parts of the blog that they like and that amuse them.
And I have been told that the blog says a lot about me, and apparently that is helpful.
Good.
It would also probably be helpful if I can start to describe more of my experience, and I will.
One thing I am trying to avoid, is writing my experiences when they come back to me in flashbacks and strong emotional upsets, and when I am not having flashbacks, I tend to bury the past and live day to day.
Hence not speaking about it much.
Also having been so badly invalidated by the Church of England, I still feel invalidated, and thus it is hard to write.
Excuse my French recently, I was so stressed that I needed to let off steam.
Bob and Ian have apparently produced new blogs on the Jersey matter today.
What seems very unusual is that the Bishops are staying at Government House in Jersey, staying with Senator Bailhache's second-in-command, rather than at a top hotel, how unusual, I guess it doesn't make any difference where they stay, they haven't taken my side of the story any more than anyone else did and are not going to bring justice, nor will they change anything in Jersey.
Bishop Trevor Willmot actually joined in with the cult-like church games at St. Matthews, Jersey when I was there, repeating what prophecy he was told to give, something about fear, and he is Peter Ould's Bishop and doesn't control his bullying of a vulnerable person, and he was Juliet Montague's friend and did nothing about what was going on in her benefice. She always said he fancied her, and they were close.
So, how is Bishop Trevor the right person to send to Jersey?
Bishop Trevor at St. Matthews, Jersey, said 'I sense that there are people here suffering fear, would they please come up to have hands laid on them'. Heather Warren used to go round telling selected people what prophecy they were to have.
Very dangerous to manipulate people that way, because, in reality, why would a God who allows abuse victims, vulnerable people, and disabled to suffer and be marginalized, come to one of the churches responsible and give out visions publicly so people could be manipulated and have hands laid on them? Is it really likely that the real God is only interested in public showing off and not the welfare of the vulnerable?
Basically, no matter who the Bishop sends to Jersey anyway, they will either do as they are told by the Jersey Deanery or be sent away with a flea in their ear.
I do not like the idea of fleas in ears, but people do it when they are angry.
I think the whole statement by the Bishop of Winchester was a face-saving exercise, and now apparently this Bishop visit which the Bishop of Winchester said was about safeguarding, it about repairing the rift between Jersey and Winchester?
How nice that an effort is made to soothe their hurt feelings while I am left condemned, voiceless, destitute and ruined and without my complaint dealt with!
Ian's blog:
http://therightofreply.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/the-church-chump-still-in-power-struggle.html
Wednesday, 4 December 2013
L'évêque français de pansement et est à l'envers. Je me demande si l'argent est tombé de ses poches ? Je vais aller et voir.
Comment se fait il est plus grand que sa cathédrale ?
the Transfer to Europe
L'archevêque de Jersey est également ministre des affaires étrangères, afin que le transfert au diocèse de l'Europe devrait aller bien.
Excusez mon français
Excusez mon français
Cher Pat
Cher Pat Lucas,
Vos cours de français étaient excellents.
Contrairement à mon français.
J'ai l'habitude de faire mes devoirs dans le bain avant le Collège.
:) selling the Channel Islands - bloguer à propos de tout et de rien, y compris les lettres françaises.
Cher Monsieur,
Je suis sûr que vous êtes au courant du litige entre les doyennés des îles anglo-normandes et le diocèse de Winchester.
Je me demande si vous pourriez aider ?
Les doyennés de Jersey et Guernesey envisagent de quitter le diocèse de Winchester et de se joindre à un diocèse européen en raison de failles de préserver.
Je pense que ce serait une meilleure idée que les batailles continues qui détériorent les fidèles ordinaires et l'image de l'église d'Angleterre.
Vous envisagerait d'adopter les doyennés d'îles anglo-normandes ? Le doyenné de Jersey est en désarroi et plus vite on trouvera une solution, le mieux ce sera pour tout le monde, surtout les amateurs d'église ordinaires. Les doyennés ont besoin d'une autorité qu'ils peuvent regarder jusqu'à .
La raison pour laquelle que je vous demande est que les îles anglo-normandes sont géographiquement plus proches de la France que le Royaume-Uni et il n'y a là l'histoire de France, et aussi grand nombre d'insulaires parle dialecte français ou français.
Si vous souhaitez aider les églises de l'île de canal hors de leur situation, veuillez communiquer avec l'évêque de Winchester
sincèrement,
HG
Mon français est abominable, traduction en anglais était hilarant !
Mon français est abominable, traduction en anglais était hilarant !
mainland Europe Diocese, lets help the Channel Islands Deaneries out of this mess.
Apparently my blogs can be odd and intense and things.
But so can I, so thats ok :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjDh4yuil9w
I will not boast in anything
no Yorkshire
no channel islands
no Switzerland...
Anyway, breakfast was porridge and lunch was fish and rice, so I have enough energy to sit here and assist in arranging the transfer of the Channel Island Deaneries to the Diocese of Germany.
The German Diocese have a lovely lot of prayers on their website, I really like some of these prayers, so I will return to them later.
http://europe.anglican.org/prayer-diary/special-prayers
Dear Diocese of Germany,
But so can I, so thats ok :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjDh4yuil9w
I will not boast in anything
no Yorkshire
no channel islands
no Switzerland...
Anyway, breakfast was porridge and lunch was fish and rice, so I have enough energy to sit here and assist in arranging the transfer of the Channel Island Deaneries to the Diocese of Germany.
The German Diocese have a lovely lot of prayers on their website, I really like some of these prayers, so I will return to them later.
http://europe.anglican.org/prayer-diary/special-prayers
Dear Diocese of Germany,
I am sure you are aware of the troubled Channel Island Deaneries and how they are considering leaving the Diocese of Winchester because of a fall-out over my treatment when I was abused in a Jersey church.
The Deaneries are considering a move to belonging to a mainland Europe Diocese.
I wonder, would the Diocese of Germany consider accommodating the Deaneries of Jersey and Guernsey?
I think it would be a good fit, because the language barriers appear to be less than with some other Dioceses in Europe, your website is in good clear English, for example.
I think it is important for the Deaneries of Jersey and Guernsey to be transferred and have authority which they can respect as soon as possible, for the sake of ordinary church goers.
The current rift is damaging the Church's image.
Would you like to approach the Diocese of Winchester about this matter?
sincerely,
Guernsey? Gosh!
Tony did a blog. I struggle with the blogs because all of them have inaccuracies and incorrect views, and I am autistic, so I get frustrated, but Tony's blog was good because it made me into a human being again.
http://tonymusings.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/jersey-and-winchester-view-from-guernsey.html
Today I am not well, no energy at all and in pain, I woke up knowing I was quite sick, after starting a walk last night and running out of energy after half a mile, so I will rest today, but I will rest and blog, I will say more about Guernsey, seeing as Guernsey are politely reading my blog.
Hello Guernsey, I am not sure what your gache cake is for at all, but never mind. :)
One summer I spent a great day doing photography on Guernsey. Photography was one of my hobbies, I knew nothing about photography, I just loved taking photos. And Guernsey is very photogenic, as is Sark, especially with the heather or Gorse in bloom.
I think Bishop Dakin should say to the Islands 'Go on, join another Diocese if they will have you! We may lose the tithe but we also lose the expenses!'.
'And under the new German diocese, the churches in the Channel Islands are now conducting their services in a mixture of German and English and are happy to be free of Winchester'.
I will get lynched for that.
http://tonymusings.blogspot.co.uk/2013/12/jersey-and-winchester-view-from-guernsey.html
Today I am not well, no energy at all and in pain, I woke up knowing I was quite sick, after starting a walk last night and running out of energy after half a mile, so I will rest today, but I will rest and blog, I will say more about Guernsey, seeing as Guernsey are politely reading my blog.
Hello Guernsey, I am not sure what your gache cake is for at all, but never mind. :)
One summer I spent a great day doing photography on Guernsey. Photography was one of my hobbies, I knew nothing about photography, I just loved taking photos. And Guernsey is very photogenic, as is Sark, especially with the heather or Gorse in bloom.
I think Bishop Dakin should say to the Islands 'Go on, join another Diocese if they will have you! We may lose the tithe but we also lose the expenses!'.
'And under the new German diocese, the churches in the Channel Islands are now conducting their services in a mixture of German and English and are happy to be free of Winchester'.
I will get lynched for that.
Tuesday, 3 December 2013
anything and everything
Someone has done a petition.
For human rights in Jersey.
Although I am not sure if Jersey people can sign it?
https://submissions.epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/57830/signature/new
This is not my petition by the way.
Change subject.
This morning I walked an hour and a half to get a food parcel. Some people did not believe that when I told them, because it sounds so third-world. But it is true.
I do not mind walking that far and that long, I do not really mind how desparate my situation is in some ways, because I am usually able to find some sort of resource to help myself, but there are people in Calcutta and Africa and other places who cannot even get a food parcel if they walk for a day or more, who cannot even get clean water, whereas, clean water is generally the law here.
So I know, and always have known, that despite grinding poverty and holes in my only trousers, I am well off in comparison, and I am grateful.
God help those who are worse off than me.
But I do have to rest now, because I have very little energy. Once upon a time I was diagnosed with something, M.E. or fibromyalgia or virus or something, all very vague, but whatever takes my energy returned with a vengeance when the Diocese started hassling me not so long ago while I had been waiting to be destroyed by the Steel/Bailhache report.
I know you have to fight back to M.E. and I do my best, but I get tired just being awake.
My friends this morning were worried I was falling asleep, so they got me to set up for toddler group, and I had great fun causing multiple vehicle pile ups on the play mat, but I am out of energy now.
For human rights in Jersey.
Although I am not sure if Jersey people can sign it?
https://submissions.epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/57830/signature/new
This is not my petition by the way.
Change subject.
This morning I walked an hour and a half to get a food parcel. Some people did not believe that when I told them, because it sounds so third-world. But it is true.
I do not mind walking that far and that long, I do not really mind how desparate my situation is in some ways, because I am usually able to find some sort of resource to help myself, but there are people in Calcutta and Africa and other places who cannot even get a food parcel if they walk for a day or more, who cannot even get clean water, whereas, clean water is generally the law here.
So I know, and always have known, that despite grinding poverty and holes in my only trousers, I am well off in comparison, and I am grateful.
God help those who are worse off than me.
But I do have to rest now, because I have very little energy. Once upon a time I was diagnosed with something, M.E. or fibromyalgia or virus or something, all very vague, but whatever takes my energy returned with a vengeance when the Diocese started hassling me not so long ago while I had been waiting to be destroyed by the Steel/Bailhache report.
I know you have to fight back to M.E. and I do my best, but I get tired just being awake.
My friends this morning were worried I was falling asleep, so they got me to set up for toddler group, and I had great fun causing multiple vehicle pile ups on the play mat, but I am out of energy now.
Monday, 2 December 2013
Crazy talk
Good evening,
I am not getting my energy these days, so it is hard to write.
I need to say something about the Church of England. It is a bit blunt.
The church of england are not going to house me, people need to get over this, being very blunt, being housed by the church of england would be the same as thanking a rapist for raping me.
The church of england gave me a criminal record, and would not stop violating me and driving me out, they lost me so much, including my bank account and car and licence, why would I let them house me in order that they can tick a box to the public?
After what the Diocese of Winchester did to me in Winchester, driving me out of everywhere, publicly humiliating me and having me brutalized and locked up, I would have to be insane to allow them to put me somewhere, know where I am and have me slandered to my local community and churches so that I could go back to being spat on as I was in Winchester when i returned from Jersey to the Diocese's cover up in Winchester that left me shamed and humiliated at their expense and to cover their backs.
Please, can the crazy talk about my destroyers being able to pretend to help me stop?
I am not getting my energy these days, so it is hard to write.
I need to say something about the Church of England. It is a bit blunt.
The church of england are not going to house me, people need to get over this, being very blunt, being housed by the church of england would be the same as thanking a rapist for raping me.
The church of england gave me a criminal record, and would not stop violating me and driving me out, they lost me so much, including my bank account and car and licence, why would I let them house me in order that they can tick a box to the public?
After what the Diocese of Winchester did to me in Winchester, driving me out of everywhere, publicly humiliating me and having me brutalized and locked up, I would have to be insane to allow them to put me somewhere, know where I am and have me slandered to my local community and churches so that I could go back to being spat on as I was in Winchester when i returned from Jersey to the Diocese's cover up in Winchester that left me shamed and humiliated at their expense and to cover their backs.
Please, can the crazy talk about my destroyers being able to pretend to help me stop?
Sunday, 1 December 2013
Sue God? Just out of interest
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2515466/Vicar-abused-parishioners-wins-permission-sue-God.html
I can tell you from experience, such experiences will have affected his children badly.
I have to say, as I blog about anything and everything, I cannot imagine the outcome of sueing God, if you win damages, will God pay? How does it affect the afterlife for you? And does God represent Himself in court against one of his representatives.
I don't think I will sue God, He is big enough to forgive my sins, He is kind enough to let me sit here and blog about anything and everything.
I don't think anyone can be told to sue God and not their employers, God did not pay this man's wages, his diocese did. God will not accept being sued and pay in cash, He does not work that way. The Vicar is entitled to take his case to God, but at the same time, if He is not being suppoted through his problems by his diocese, then he has a case against them? Why did his Diocese not help him?
The Rev who is sueing, says that he has not been supported by his diocese. This reminds me of Juliet saying the same of the Diocese of Winchester about her overload of work and her marriage problems, and saying she took her marriage problems to Bishop Trevor Willmott, the then Bishop of Basingstoke, (now Peter Ould's Bishop and not controlling his antics while he is in his diocese).
I wonder, how can dioceses support their priests better? Cover ups for abuse and misconduct not included.
We don't know the full story of the Vicar. But I think Suing God sounds like the opposite of what a Clergyman should be doing, and if his Diocese upheld that, then they need a rethink.
The Church of England is supposedly God's representative, so that is who to sue, simple.
Do excuse me for blogging about anything and everything. But I do think the Church of England has some slight flaws at Diocesan level.
The problem is with Press articles is that you never know the full story.
Sunday
Right, Peter can be assured that I am blogging about anything and everything.
This morning I walked to church, an hour and ten minutes walk, and as I walked I thought about, prayed for and blessed the many churches and people I have got to know during my adventures, by the end of my walk, I still hadn't finished.
My home churches were on my mind a lot, and I wished I was back at my old church, with Pastor John treating the whole church like family and making the Bible come alive with his sermon. But actually, despite the walk, where I was going was going to be a good service too.
I enjoyed church and spent the rest of the day with people from church.
Back at my computer this evening, I find that Guernsey Deanery are jealous of the limelight that Jersey have been getting, and are throwing tantrums, and talking about 'moving to a Diocese in Europe'. Well, if any Diocese will accept these Deaneries, maybe it would be a good idea, move to a new diocese, and then effectively be under control of the new diocese, and maybe the overseeing of those deaneries will improve.
Which would be good.
Because at the moment, the Island Deaneries are like children who aren't under adequate parental control, and they know it, so they throw tantrums, issue ultimatums and demand what they want.
Will another Diocese accept them or are they just seeing how far they can push Winchester?
Off the subject, why was my 'where is God?' post so popular? No one will answer, but it has been shared and tweeted and passed on as if I had written something other than anything and everything.
This morning I walked to church, an hour and ten minutes walk, and as I walked I thought about, prayed for and blessed the many churches and people I have got to know during my adventures, by the end of my walk, I still hadn't finished.
My home churches were on my mind a lot, and I wished I was back at my old church, with Pastor John treating the whole church like family and making the Bible come alive with his sermon. But actually, despite the walk, where I was going was going to be a good service too.
I enjoyed church and spent the rest of the day with people from church.
Back at my computer this evening, I find that Guernsey Deanery are jealous of the limelight that Jersey have been getting, and are throwing tantrums, and talking about 'moving to a Diocese in Europe'. Well, if any Diocese will accept these Deaneries, maybe it would be a good idea, move to a new diocese, and then effectively be under control of the new diocese, and maybe the overseeing of those deaneries will improve.
Which would be good.
Because at the moment, the Island Deaneries are like children who aren't under adequate parental control, and they know it, so they throw tantrums, issue ultimatums and demand what they want.
Will another Diocese accept them or are they just seeing how far they can push Winchester?
Off the subject, why was my 'where is God?' post so popular? No one will answer, but it has been shared and tweeted and passed on as if I had written something other than anything and everything.
Saturday, 30 November 2013
'The Oligarchy hung the Bishop out to dry' or, someone chased him up a lamp post
Good evening.
I am tired at the moment, I can't walk without pain, and cannot get any physio or foam at the moment, so I am not writing much, I hope you like the lamp post picture.
Friday, 29 November 2013
Where is God?
Good evening,
I am tired today, and although I have walked, walking has been painful, so I have achieved a few basic tasks and returned to resting, and I may not write much today.
I have been looking at a Battered Sheep article, about denominations. A controversial subject. At this point, my biggest fan (lol), Peter Ould, who reads and vets all my posts and declares that I am writing about 'anything and everything' will declare that I am writing about anything and everything.
Well, yes, I am, but dear Peter, you don't need to read it if it bores you :)
Anyway, denominations are interesting, one of our ministers proclaimed denominations to be to do with human pride, while another says that denominations are God's way of making His Word accessible to all.
About a year and a half ago, maybe less, I was sitting having a coffee with a friend from a Church of England Church, (she and I would go to communion together a few times a week her church and then have a coffee).
In our discussion we agreed that what mattered was not so much denomination as attitude, where compassion is practiced, Jesus is there.
Her church was a compassionate church, credit to them.
I am baptized Catholic, and I find the Catholic teaching and ethics most helpful and choose to use some Catholic teaching as the base of my faith, and I have suffered years of severe damage at the hands of the Church of England Diocese of Winchester, but I worship across the denominations, as well as attending Mass, wherever there is compassion, sound teaching and good worship, then I believe Jesus is there, I do not think any denomination has any right to say that Jesus is exclusive to them. My dear Catholic friends may agree to disagree with me on that, because they believe the Catholic Church to be founded by St. Peter on Jesus' instructions, but I think an open mind and focus on what matters, and avoidance of church politics and cliques is a good enough way to be.
Funnily enough, one of the best tests of a Church is when a homeless/poor/disabled person turns up, not asking for anything, but to worship alongside a congregation.
It is good to tell you that there are a lot of good churches around :) although the Diocese of Winchester's churches need some teaching as well as safeguarding restructure.
Anyway, this article from 'Battered Sheep' What it reminded me of, right at the end, when it talks about wolves in sheep's clothing, which even though I am autistic, I understand to mean bad disguised as good. The paragraph speaks of Satan coming as an angel of light, and I remember in Jersey, the Vicar at St. Andrews church, on a rare occasion when he was attempting the sermon himself, spoke of the Devil as light, and told of how the Devil was known as 'Lucifer' which means light.
Then in an absolute classic situation, only days later, the church warden who abused me, during an argument I had with him about him phoning my employers without my permission, puffed himself up in reply to my annoyance and said very pompously 'I am a servant of the Light'.
Yes, he couldn't say Jesus.
Yes, wolves in sheeps clothing.
http://www.batteredsheep.com/clone.html
Now here is a post that reminds me of Jesus, the Servant King, and also reminds me of the 'Key Players' in the Deanery of Jersey, who have behaved in such an unchristian way, and how the Servant King and the Key Players are so very much at odds.
http://www.batteredsheep.com/marchingsheep.html
I am tired today, and although I have walked, walking has been painful, so I have achieved a few basic tasks and returned to resting, and I may not write much today.
I have been looking at a Battered Sheep article, about denominations. A controversial subject. At this point, my biggest fan (lol), Peter Ould, who reads and vets all my posts and declares that I am writing about 'anything and everything' will declare that I am writing about anything and everything.
Well, yes, I am, but dear Peter, you don't need to read it if it bores you :)
Anyway, denominations are interesting, one of our ministers proclaimed denominations to be to do with human pride, while another says that denominations are God's way of making His Word accessible to all.
About a year and a half ago, maybe less, I was sitting having a coffee with a friend from a Church of England Church, (she and I would go to communion together a few times a week her church and then have a coffee).
In our discussion we agreed that what mattered was not so much denomination as attitude, where compassion is practiced, Jesus is there.
Her church was a compassionate church, credit to them.
I am baptized Catholic, and I find the Catholic teaching and ethics most helpful and choose to use some Catholic teaching as the base of my faith, and I have suffered years of severe damage at the hands of the Church of England Diocese of Winchester, but I worship across the denominations, as well as attending Mass, wherever there is compassion, sound teaching and good worship, then I believe Jesus is there, I do not think any denomination has any right to say that Jesus is exclusive to them. My dear Catholic friends may agree to disagree with me on that, because they believe the Catholic Church to be founded by St. Peter on Jesus' instructions, but I think an open mind and focus on what matters, and avoidance of church politics and cliques is a good enough way to be.
Funnily enough, one of the best tests of a Church is when a homeless/poor/disabled person turns up, not asking for anything, but to worship alongside a congregation.
It is good to tell you that there are a lot of good churches around :) although the Diocese of Winchester's churches need some teaching as well as safeguarding restructure.
Anyway, this article from 'Battered Sheep' What it reminded me of, right at the end, when it talks about wolves in sheep's clothing, which even though I am autistic, I understand to mean bad disguised as good. The paragraph speaks of Satan coming as an angel of light, and I remember in Jersey, the Vicar at St. Andrews church, on a rare occasion when he was attempting the sermon himself, spoke of the Devil as light, and told of how the Devil was known as 'Lucifer' which means light.
Then in an absolute classic situation, only days later, the church warden who abused me, during an argument I had with him about him phoning my employers without my permission, puffed himself up in reply to my annoyance and said very pompously 'I am a servant of the Light'.
Yes, he couldn't say Jesus.
Yes, wolves in sheeps clothing.
http://www.batteredsheep.com/clone.html
Now here is a post that reminds me of Jesus, the Servant King, and also reminds me of the 'Key Players' in the Deanery of Jersey, who have behaved in such an unchristian way, and how the Servant King and the Key Players are so very much at odds.
http://www.batteredsheep.com/marchingsheep.html
Thursday, 28 November 2013
Sparky post
Good evening. What a day.
On the Island, we had a toast with our cups of tea rather than champagne this time. Which is ok, because champagne makes me a bit unsteady. Even a few days ago, I didn't expect to be here again.
Polo has done a very interesting blog that makes me blush. Polo is a good writer, he can describe things much more succinctly that I can. I just blog about anything and everything, apparently, according to someone who doesn't like me 'shafting' 'his' church of england.
Here is Polo's blog.
http://photopol.blogspot.ie/2013/11/shafting-jersey.html
and here is a Battered Sheep article.
http://www.batteredsheep.com/whoseministry.html
'I will not boast in anything,
No Yorkshire
No channel Islands
No Switzerland
For Christ has given all of this
and didn't say 'abuse me'
I will not be so insecure
boast about my family
For Christ has given all of this
so don't abuse your ministry'
Ah, the bad old days, back when I was a doormat and had only experienced the Church of England and being treated as less and blamed for being irritated by this, and didn't realise that Christianity was not all one-upmanship and exclusive to the better off. This is not to say that the whole of the Church of England are like this, and two years ago I experienced other diocese for the first time and was pleasantly surprised, but the Diocese of Winchester is a very wealthy and very prejudiced diocese.
I have suffered years of the Church of England, and so, Catholicism with it's ethics and respect, was a breath of fresh air when I discovered it, even the most poor can be Catholics.
I cannot imagine any true Catholic sitting talking to a poor person endlessly about what they and their family have, and being offended when asked politely and timidly by the poor person, if they could talk about something else, as the poor person cannot join and the conversation and feels embarrassed. It was the Catholics who restored to me some of the self-worth that the Church of England had taken from me over the years.
And that is why I can sit here and blog about anything and everything.
On the Island, we had a toast with our cups of tea rather than champagne this time. Which is ok, because champagne makes me a bit unsteady. Even a few days ago, I didn't expect to be here again.
Polo has done a very interesting blog that makes me blush. Polo is a good writer, he can describe things much more succinctly that I can. I just blog about anything and everything, apparently, according to someone who doesn't like me 'shafting' 'his' church of england.
Here is Polo's blog.
http://photopol.blogspot.ie/2013/11/shafting-jersey.html
and here is a Battered Sheep article.
http://www.batteredsheep.com/whoseministry.html
'I will not boast in anything,
No Yorkshire
No channel Islands
No Switzerland
For Christ has given all of this
and didn't say 'abuse me'
I will not be so insecure
boast about my family
For Christ has given all of this
so don't abuse your ministry'
Ah, the bad old days, back when I was a doormat and had only experienced the Church of England and being treated as less and blamed for being irritated by this, and didn't realise that Christianity was not all one-upmanship and exclusive to the better off. This is not to say that the whole of the Church of England are like this, and two years ago I experienced other diocese for the first time and was pleasantly surprised, but the Diocese of Winchester is a very wealthy and very prejudiced diocese.
I have suffered years of the Church of England, and so, Catholicism with it's ethics and respect, was a breath of fresh air when I discovered it, even the most poor can be Catholics.
I cannot imagine any true Catholic sitting talking to a poor person endlessly about what they and their family have, and being offended when asked politely and timidly by the poor person, if they could talk about something else, as the poor person cannot join and the conversation and feels embarrassed. It was the Catholics who restored to me some of the self-worth that the Church of England had taken from me over the years.
And that is why I can sit here and blog about anything and everything.
Wednesday, 27 November 2013
Too late
I think that ordained priests and church staff who condemn or bully an abuse survivor should be sent a copy of the book 'The Shack' and asked to read the message in it until they understand it. It won't equip them with the life experience to understand a survivor and thus treat them better, but it will help them to understand a better perspective.
I was drawn to 'The Shack' earlier today, during the wonderful meeting I had, as there was a copy on the shelf in the room where we met.
Some church people are scared of this book and get in a flutter, they make excuses including objecting to God being portrayed as a woman, and other things, and they miss the real and healing meaning in the story. :) God is portrayed as a woman in order to make Him accessible to a man who was abused by his own Father and has a problem with 'God the Father' as a result. The thing is, God is accessible to all, and is not just an angry Father to be afraid of.
I like to read the shack when I am having a bath at my friend's house, then I lie on the rug in my blanket to finish reading it, luxury. I never get tired of it. It is a stunningly written story, understandably harsh on anyone's conscience though.
Moving on, Peter Ould has kindly increased my blog readership. I must send him a copy of the shack as a thank you present :)
Anyway. Lets talk about things being too late, while I am blogging about anything and everything while I am, apparently not intelligent enough to bring an injunction against the Diocese of Winchester. (actually the cost was the factor, and you can't do it on legal aid very easily).
People say that if I can write like this then I can't be disabled or have learning difficulties.
Actually the reason I write fluently is because I have had verbal and auditory communication difficulties most of my life, and still do, but I learned to write and have always written in order to counter my verbal communication problems.
My verbal problems have improved dramatically, with help, but I still write straight from my brain to paper more fluently than I talk.
My IQ, which is often speculated about, is either 102 or 104, depending on which result you believe. But I find IQ tests very very hard because I cannot focus on them or understand them. But the learning difficulties and challenges I have, mean I do not understand a lot of things as well as I should, so although I am not low IQ, I am also not high in understanding of situations.
Too Late:
The Police did not prosecute the church warden who I reported, but let him go to untruthfully claim to the Island church community that he had been cleared, the police told me by email that they were not prosecuting the church warden. They then got me in by force for beating and temporary imprisonment the same day as a punishment for reporting a well-connected islander for abuse, but, being autistic, I failed to get the subtle meaning of being brutalized, thrown around, jeered at and locked in a cell, but I never really recovered from the shock and suffered Post Traumatic Stress and this affected me as my life got steadily worse for reporting the warden.
Too late, this year, and in the middle of the uproar caused by the Diocese of Winchester, the police suddenly decided they had 'new leads' on the Church Warden case, which isn't possible unless they were really really sloppy before, claiming correspondence between me and the Diocese gave them more evidence, which I doubt, as they had copies before, and they wanted to re-open the investigation.
Five years too late and with the damage to me irreparable. Re-open the case now, and cause me more stress than I could possibly cope with, having to give evidence in the climate of hatred that the Diocesan Investigations in Jersey have caused? Crazy.
Anyway, the police decided to re-open the case. I did not ask for this, and was incensed that they advertised it in the media before contacting me.
For me, reopening the case was pointless. For various reasons:
- The damage to me is done
- The stress on top of what I have already been going through would be too much if I had to go to court.
- The case was five years ago, and, not just because of 'the Shack', I have forgiven the man.
- The churchwarden has a family and he is an old man, he is better off with his family than in a prison that would not cure his tendencies.
- Because of the extent of the impact of what he did, he will hopefully refrain from such behaviour again. Hopefully.
- As a wise Catholic in Jersey taught me, the church warden will stand before God and God will deal with it one day. (at the time, in Jersey, I was suffering and so traumatized that this was no comfort, but since becoming a Catholic, I understand better and I do leave it to God).
- Last but not least, as I told the police, there is unlikely to be an unbiased or impartial judge to put this man up in front of, and he would have some of the best legal advice, no insinuations but he has friends who would help him. It would be a waste of time, money and my health.
Too late for the police to make a token effort, even if they are just doing it because of the publicity generated by the Korris report.
Too Late:
The Diocese of Winchester launched into a massive public investigation into the Dean and Deanery of Jersey in March this year.
Five years too late.
- Too late to stop me from being maligned and defamed and shunned in Jersey and reacting
- Too late to be deemed as fulfilling duty of care
- Too late to prevent me being harmed by the police
- Too late to effectively discipline anyone
- Too late to prevent me being homeless and permenantly scarred psychologically
- Too late if they thought they would make me feel that justice had been done
Five years later and the other side of a police record I got from fighting, traumatized, for action to be taken and responsibility to be taken. It was too late, it was ineffective and my complaints were not actually at any point properly heard or dealt with, nor did the Diocese consult me and ask what complaint I still had, if any.
Paradoxical how Jane Fisher was always telling me things were in the past, in order to wipe out my trauma, and yet, they dragged up a scenario that was in the past and forgiven, and have caused a lot of further wrongdoing in the Jersey Deanery.
Causing them to sin for no good reason while not effectively dealing with the past has not achieved anything.
And Finally. Too late, the Diocese want to help me.
So they try to arrange help behind my back, five years too late, and when they are responsible for so much damage to me, how many times do they have to go behind my back and force on me and violate my rights before they realise that they get the same reaction every time?
Five years too late and being the people who damaged me, they are not going to help me. Full Stop.
Here endeth the lesson.
Forgiveness:
I also caught sight of another book that my church kindly presented to me a few months ago after discussions with them about forgiveness. It is called 'Total Forgiveness', it is a hard learning curve but good teaching, I have forgotten the Author's name, sorry.
The thing is with forgiveness is, it is a process, no-one should be under pressure to forgive when they are suffering, and I was put under 'instant forgiveness' pressure in Jersey, because a lot of church people have never known much suffering or trauma, and think that they are in a position to preach down to those who have.
Basically, even if someone has been through traumas, even that does not qualify them to tell someone else how to go through their own process of forgiveness.
For me, the process of forgiving the Diocese is going to be ongoing for some time, and it will take a lot of painful therapy sessions too.
Thanks be to God
Good evening.
I thought I was going to have to wait and come back after rush hour, so I thought I would be back very late as it is a long journey. Thus I thought I wouldn't be able to blog today.
Today has been a helpful experience, I am sure. I am very very tired now. And tomorrow is another big day.
Today I will share a Battered Sheep article that reminds me of the hymn that was posted on Bob's blog a while back. http://www.batteredsheep.com/fishermen.html
Personally I do not see anything wrong with theological training as long as Ministry is done based on Christ's teaching and looking to the Bible for guidance. And is not used for greed, perversions, untruths, abuse of power, and other abuses and wrongs.
After all, the disciples were taught, by Jesus.
I will also share the hymn.
It is all a good reminder of what it is all about.
1.
Inspired by love and anger,
disturbed by endless pain,
informed of God's own bias,
we ask him once again:
'How long must some folk suffer?
How long can few folk mind?
How long dare vain self interest
turn prayer and pity blind?'
2 From those forever victims
of heartless human greed,
their cruel plight composes
a litany of need:
'Where are the fruits of justice?
Where are the signs of peace?
When is the day when prisoners
and dreams find their release?'
3 From those forever shackled
to what their wealth can buy,
the fear of lost advantage
provokes the bitter cry,
'Don't query our position!
Don't criticise our wealth!
Don't mention those exploited
by politics and stealth!
4 To God, who through the prophets
proclaimed a different age,
we offer earth's indifference,
its agony and rage:
'When will the wrong be righted?
When will the kingdom come?
When will the world be generous
to all instead of some?'
5 God asks, 'Who will go for me?
Who will extend my reach?
And who, when few will listen,
will prophesy and preach?
And who, when few bid welcome
will offer all they know?
And who, when few dare follow,
will walk the road I show?'
6 Amused in someone's kitchen,
asleep in someone's boat,
attuned to what the ancients
exposed, proclaimed and wrote,
a saviour without safety,
a tradesman without tools
has come to tip the balance
with fishermen and fools.
I thought I was going to have to wait and come back after rush hour, so I thought I would be back very late as it is a long journey. Thus I thought I wouldn't be able to blog today.
Today has been a helpful experience, I am sure. I am very very tired now. And tomorrow is another big day.
Today I will share a Battered Sheep article that reminds me of the hymn that was posted on Bob's blog a while back. http://www.batteredsheep.com/fishermen.html
Personally I do not see anything wrong with theological training as long as Ministry is done based on Christ's teaching and looking to the Bible for guidance. And is not used for greed, perversions, untruths, abuse of power, and other abuses and wrongs.
After all, the disciples were taught, by Jesus.
I will also share the hymn.
It is all a good reminder of what it is all about.
1.
Inspired by love and anger,
disturbed by endless pain,
informed of God's own bias,
we ask him once again:
'How long must some folk suffer?
How long can few folk mind?
How long dare vain self interest
turn prayer and pity blind?'
2 From those forever victims
of heartless human greed,
their cruel plight composes
a litany of need:
'Where are the fruits of justice?
Where are the signs of peace?
When is the day when prisoners
and dreams find their release?'
3 From those forever shackled
to what their wealth can buy,
the fear of lost advantage
provokes the bitter cry,
'Don't query our position!
Don't criticise our wealth!
Don't mention those exploited
by politics and stealth!
4 To God, who through the prophets
proclaimed a different age,
we offer earth's indifference,
its agony and rage:
'When will the wrong be righted?
When will the kingdom come?
When will the world be generous
to all instead of some?'
5 God asks, 'Who will go for me?
Who will extend my reach?
And who, when few will listen,
will prophesy and preach?
And who, when few bid welcome
will offer all they know?
And who, when few dare follow,
will walk the road I show?'
6 Amused in someone's kitchen,
asleep in someone's boat,
attuned to what the ancients
exposed, proclaimed and wrote,
a saviour without safety,
a tradesman without tools
has come to tip the balance
with fishermen and fools.
Tuesday, 26 November 2013
Tomorrow's post today
Tomorrow's battered sheep post today: http://www.batteredsheep.com/fraud.html
For some reason this reminds me of a church where certain people used to lie on the floor saying 'oh, Daddy God!'
For some reason this reminds me of a church where certain people used to lie on the floor saying 'oh, Daddy God!'
Battered Sheep. Excellent Insight
Battered Sheep Ministries is such a good blog, I should do a daily link to the articles that they offer. It is very helpful to a survivor.
https://pushingjesus.wordpress.com/tag/battered-sheep/
https://pushingjesus.wordpress.com/tag/battered-sheep/
Beautiful song
'When Satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within, upward I look and see Him there, who made an end to all my sin'. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ6QaZcPphM
What a beautiful song.
Dear Lord Jesus and Father God, Satan has spent eight months bringing me to trial for Sins repented by me and forgiven by you, and has also brought untruthful accounts against me as he is a liar and the Father of Lies.
he has not allowed me to be heard and for my case to be presented, he has had my side of things silenced.
I pray in Your Name that this judgement and merciless attack on my life ceases. and that my side is heard.
Amen
Monday, 25 November 2013
last, lost and least again
Good evening.
I am amused to see my regular reader is suddenly going mad with reading.
I was thinking, if the Diocese of Winchester are 'called to help the lost, the last and the least',
then why don't they damn well do what they are called to do.
Excuse me being autistic, but it is the same as St. Andrews Church in Jersey, they boast to be 'called to be salt and light', and I asked them 'then how come you aren't obeying that calling?
Talk about rocking the boat! Daring to challenge anything in Jersey!
Back to 'Lost, last and least'.
Who is qualified to ever put such labels on someone whilst calling themselves a Christian?
Maybe the Bishop does think that as a Bishop, he can judge, segregate and label in such a way.
And as I have asked before, when does the label get removed?
Because I have spent eight months being judged and condemned by the Diocese of Winchester and Deanery of Jersey for things that a) happened years ago b) they do not have my full side of things and disregard my side of things without a fair hearing for me, and c) these things happened both before my baptism as a Catholic and my confession, so who can judge me as they have? and d) it all happened before I had adequate diagnosis or therapy, and e) not one of the people who has wronged me has been challenged or disciplined, let alone subjected to the judgmental hate campaigns and forced interference that I have suffered.
Not that I am excusing myself, I know what I have and haven't done, the Church of England do not care, they would rather have a story that suits them.
But nothing could be more arrogant and incongruent than Bishop Dakin's 'Called to help the last, the lost and the least'.
I think they need to look in the mirror and realise just how lost they themselves are. There has been nothing fair or just about the way they have destroyed me and protected abusers and wrongdoers and tried to save face and maintain a good image in the press.
I am amused to see my regular reader is suddenly going mad with reading.
I was thinking, if the Diocese of Winchester are 'called to help the lost, the last and the least',
then why don't they damn well do what they are called to do.
Excuse me being autistic, but it is the same as St. Andrews Church in Jersey, they boast to be 'called to be salt and light', and I asked them 'then how come you aren't obeying that calling?
Talk about rocking the boat! Daring to challenge anything in Jersey!
Back to 'Lost, last and least'.
Who is qualified to ever put such labels on someone whilst calling themselves a Christian?
Maybe the Bishop does think that as a Bishop, he can judge, segregate and label in such a way.
And as I have asked before, when does the label get removed?
Because I have spent eight months being judged and condemned by the Diocese of Winchester and Deanery of Jersey for things that a) happened years ago b) they do not have my full side of things and disregard my side of things without a fair hearing for me, and c) these things happened both before my baptism as a Catholic and my confession, so who can judge me as they have? and d) it all happened before I had adequate diagnosis or therapy, and e) not one of the people who has wronged me has been challenged or disciplined, let alone subjected to the judgmental hate campaigns and forced interference that I have suffered.
Not that I am excusing myself, I know what I have and haven't done, the Church of England do not care, they would rather have a story that suits them.
But nothing could be more arrogant and incongruent than Bishop Dakin's 'Called to help the last, the lost and the least'.
I think they need to look in the mirror and realise just how lost they themselves are. There has been nothing fair or just about the way they have destroyed me and protected abusers and wrongdoers and tried to save face and maintain a good image in the press.
Therapy
Good morning,
I am delighted to have celebrities reading and commenting on my blog.
I will one day be able to tell you the full Jersey story on here, but at the moment it is still too traumatic and I still dissociate.
This morning I went to see my new therapist for a consultation. It went well. The new therapist will be able to work with me, she heard how effective the art and play therapy with my old counsellor had been and she says she can also work with me that way.
I was speaking to my old counsellor by email last week and asked her if she knew about attachment theory, and I said about how her work with me profoundly helped me. She replied that she did know about attachment theory and did have it in mind when she was working with me.
She reads this blog and she doesn't like smilies :):):) ;)
No wonder her help was so profound, and working with her improved my communication skills a lot. But that was before Jersey.
So this new therapist will be working with me every week with behavioural and attachment therapy, the therapist who has been working with me up until now was assessing me and working with the trauma and looking at the behaviour resulting from this, we decided I needed EMDR because of the trauma but I felt that EMDR would not be fully effective without the core issue of attachment disorder being treated first. Because how can we make it all better if the middle is missing? I need to realign my relationship with people in order to have a base to start from.
I am delighted to have celebrities reading and commenting on my blog.
I will one day be able to tell you the full Jersey story on here, but at the moment it is still too traumatic and I still dissociate.
This morning I went to see my new therapist for a consultation. It went well. The new therapist will be able to work with me, she heard how effective the art and play therapy with my old counsellor had been and she says she can also work with me that way.
I was speaking to my old counsellor by email last week and asked her if she knew about attachment theory, and I said about how her work with me profoundly helped me. She replied that she did know about attachment theory and did have it in mind when she was working with me.
She reads this blog and she doesn't like smilies :):):) ;)
No wonder her help was so profound, and working with her improved my communication skills a lot. But that was before Jersey.
So this new therapist will be working with me every week with behavioural and attachment therapy, the therapist who has been working with me up until now was assessing me and working with the trauma and looking at the behaviour resulting from this, we decided I needed EMDR because of the trauma but I felt that EMDR would not be fully effective without the core issue of attachment disorder being treated first. Because how can we make it all better if the middle is missing? I need to realign my relationship with people in order to have a base to start from.
Tony did another ironic blog http://tonymusings.blogspot.co.uk/2013/11/the-parable-of-respectable-people.html
I have to check with everyone to make sure I understand these ironic blogs. Tony assured us that it was.
I suppose it is because I am the last, the least and the lost. Haha. What am I doing up at twenty-to-one in the morning? Well, I suppose because I was sick and slept during the day.
I was always told that the parable of the lost sheep means that one sinner is worth more than 99 Christians anyway.
But the Church of England isn't really a Christian organization. And I am a Catholic.
I have to check with everyone to make sure I understand these ironic blogs. Tony assured us that it was.
I suppose it is because I am the last, the least and the lost. Haha. What am I doing up at twenty-to-one in the morning? Well, I suppose because I was sick and slept during the day.
I was always told that the parable of the lost sheep means that one sinner is worth more than 99 Christians anyway.
But the Church of England isn't really a Christian organization. And I am a Catholic.
Sunday, 24 November 2013
lost last and least :)
Good evening,
People have been asking where I have been.
Well, I wasn't very well.
I am back. I am having conversations about Bishop Dakin's statement.
I guess it was Luther-Pendragon's statement really. Hence the bizarre and arrogant 'called to help the lost the last and the least'.
Can he hear himself? His Diocese excludes the poor, his diocese have treated me appallingly, I wouldn't trust anything from them, let alone unsolicited 'help', after being forced on and violated by them so much before. But to describe me as 'lost', 'last' or 'least' is pretty appalling, really.
People have been asking where I have been.
Well, I wasn't very well.
I am back. I am having conversations about Bishop Dakin's statement.
I guess it was Luther-Pendragon's statement really. Hence the bizarre and arrogant 'called to help the lost the last and the least'.
Can he hear himself? His Diocese excludes the poor, his diocese have treated me appallingly, I wouldn't trust anything from them, let alone unsolicited 'help', after being forced on and violated by them so much before. But to describe me as 'lost', 'last' or 'least' is pretty appalling, really.
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