Wednesday 2 July 2014

last October, the anniversary of being destroyed

I slept well last night, and have woken feeling reasonably good.

It is indeed the anniversary of Jane fisher, safeguarding officer of the Diocese of Winchester's destroyal of me for the crime of being an abuse victim and protesting to her blatant protection of abusers.

Three years ago, my only option was suicide, and yet, despite another year of Jane Fisher harassing me after that destroyal, I survived, utterly broken and completely destroyed. Two more lots of police brutalization and detention for the punishment of standing up to Jane Fisher's violation of my life and also because I would not stop asking for justice, even though justice once I was destroyed and on the streets, became an impossibility.

It remains that the criminal record will always prevent any real quality of life, but at least I have love in my life, at least I have good in my life, and although I have these things, I will only really keep waiting for God to be kind and merciful and let me die peacefully, happily, where I am loved and feel safe, rather than letting Jane Fisher get me and detsroy my life again.
The depth and severity of the damage and the criminal record means that I will never be able to lead a productive or good life again, and the severity of the Diocese's attack on my life this year has shown that I will never be anything but damned.
But here I am, three years later, almost, but not quite, free from Jane Fisher's grip on my throat, I would not be surprised if she is the one liasing with Dame Steel to harm me, I wouldn't be surprised at all, the same Jane Fisher who rubbished my complaints about clergy in Jersey.

For me, life is about waiting to die. But while I am free from Jane Fisher's grip, I am treated with love and kindness in my community, and the instant I get spat on with contempt as I was in WInchester on my return there, I will know she has found me.

It is the anniversary of Jane Fisher's destroyal of me, the one she was able to excuse herself from in the Korris report, the one that lost me my home and life in Jersey.
Today I could return to Jersey, but what would be the point? I do not need to tell you why there would be no point, do I?

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