Someone just asked me why I have to hide from the Diocese.
The short answer is that the police have not protected me from harassment by the Diocese, but have treated me as mad and bad instead.
The longer answer is that the diocese have come after me and wrecked my life enough, and I cannot go on being driven out and maligned by them with the police standing by and refusing to protect me.
On my return from Jersey to winchester, the diocese launched on me, but behind my back, sending an email round to the churches, including my old friends who held church positions and to JM and her husband who abused me.
I was instantly wiped out, all my long-standing friendships were simply finished, these friends I had known for 10 years and more, friends who held church positions, suddenly they were lying to me and saying they would meet me in a cafe rather than their home (when that happens it is no longer a friendship but part of the diocese of winchester's cruel segregation policy which means vulnerable people are criminalized and abusers are still welcome, as FM continued to be.
I had no say in anything, my side of things was irrelevant, all that mattered to the diocese was ensuring that their side was heard and I was outcast.
Having come from prison to homelessness, suddenly finding myself shunned in my old community while JM and her abuser husband remained respected and included, it was too much of a shock, but I did not contact the diocese.
Lou Scott-Joynt accidentally phoned me as she tried to phone my friend, days after I arrived back in Hampshire, I told her to go to hell and I went to the police, despite my terror, and I asked the police to get the diocese to leave me alone.
I asked them several times, but the diocese proceeded to liase with the homeless services and churches in Winchester and ensure I was shunned and maligned. The police did nothing, despite me having shown them Lou Scott-Joynt's phone number on my phone.
Life got worse and worse for me, and it was not until I was openly shouted at and rubbished, for the M's, that I contacted the Diocese and begged them to stop, this was december, after three months of hell of being maligned and rubbished by the diocese to all and sundry and having ended up on the streets as a result.
In January, Anne died, estranged from me because of the diocese's interference, and Jane Fisher wanted me to go and sit with Anne's remains in church at night rather than go to the funeral where FM, my abuser, would be, so he could go to the funeral in peace, this is despite the fact he was no friend of Anne's, and liked to go to most of the benefice weddings, funerals and baptisms for the social side of things. And had sexually abused me and vented his violent temper on me during the time JM had brought me home for counselling and then to live with them and then as a friend.
Shortly after this, the diocese had me captured and brutalized by the police for reacting to their insensetive idea of me sitting alone with my friend's remains so my abuser could be at the funeral in peace, I was repeatedly thrown to the ground, even though I was terrified, the policeman untruthfully said I tried to bite him when I ducked my head when he trapped me in a corner, my computer was broken and so was I, I was shut in a cage and dragged by the scruff along the police station yard, and put in a cell for 24 hours, while the police stood outaside saying I was insane, saying that they were trying to find a hospital to have me put in, the diocese had been asking for me to be put away for my reaction to them. They also got the inaccurate Jersey police account of things.
I will never ever recover from that ordeal, never, it has broken my soul completely.
The police and diocese didn't manage their aim of putting me away, because I was not insane.
But the police refused to stop the diocese provoking me. As they still do.
The police told me I was 'looking to the diocese for something they could not provide, and that I needed medical help' - if this is the case, then why did the same police launch on me in March of last year and set the bloody diocese back on me with the Korris report?!
anyway, I was not put on any medicine, because no medicine cures the diocese of Winchester, I was released and left still open to interference by the diocese, and because they continued to violate, slander and drive me, I continued to speak back, until they had me brutalized and locked in another cell, after which, because it was obvious that they were not going to stop, I went on the run and changed my name, and even this did not stop the harm of the record they gave me and the fact everything recorded is one-sided and I am open to abuse and also to being treated like dirt by any authority that I turn to for help.
In March last year, despite everything done against me and despite the police jeering me as insane and saying that the diocese had done nothing and they would not protect me, the police traced me, took away my new identity and thus my safety, and allowed the diocese to subject me to endless and severe harm.
I remain destroyed, and surprised that anyone can wonder why I am in hiding and in fear of my welfare and liberty.
The police are still acting for the diocese and treating me as if I am insane and my request for assistance is invalid, the diocese are boasting about good safeguarding, while they have ruined me, and still continue to ruin me.
If they think what they have done to me, while they have sheltered my abusers who have not ended up homeless and maligned, is good safeguarding, I wonder what they think bad safeguarding is?
I am condemned for the rest of my life and will never escape poverty and homelessness or slums , my abusers and the wrongdoers in the church are cleared, that's good safeguarding is it?
It is funny how the Korris report describes Jane Fisher as going to Jersey to soothe my poor abuser when he was 'maligned by me', while he was going round saying he had been cleared and that thus I was a liar, and yet Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts went round Winchester wrecking my name and not allowing me to rebuild my life, and the police let them, liased with them, brutalized and ruined me, and I remain brutalized and ruined with nothing at all to prevent the diocese continuing to harm me indefinitely.
Truly I wish God would have mercy, I can see nothing good in life, I am an embarrasment to society and of no worth to society or myself, I am ashamed to be alive.
If the Diocese of Winchester's safeguarding is good, i would hate to see what bad safeguarding in the CofE is like! Well, I guess a snippet would be that Bishop who consoled the Chichester Diocese Vicar on being maligned, but it is the same sort of thing.
I hope that that answers the Question.
This is the original, written in 2011