Monday, 16 December 2013

I found a post on 'Homeless' that I was looking for in response to Tony's request, and I found a few other posts too -posted 7th January 2012

Happy Memories of my life as an adult:

  • College practicals out in the fields or woods
  • the beautiful landscapes that I have seen, especially after I left the ghettos
  • early morning newspaper delivering or early morning milking
  • running a mini marathon with no training or preparation and in work clothes and doing a good time
  • helping with college open days
  • roaming around
  • my Winchester before all the poison from the diocese made it a hostile town
  • the carnival and bonfire in Winchester over the years
  • rolling down the snowy bank in the recreation ground with the dog
  • wonderful work with sheep
  • the amazing gardening work that I have done
  • friends
  • the first two years away from home when I lodged in Winchester with my friends
  • the wonderful daytrips and meals out I have had
  • My 18th Birthday that the farm staff made special even though my family forgot
  • All the work I have ever done
  • the youth group in ******* and how they helped me to develop and feel more worthwhile and the lovely days out and meals and services we had.
  • The years of joyful love and worship of God and fellowship before the grim island churches destroyed me and my blind faith.
  • The good old friends
  • the years when I could run and jump
  • my friendship with JM, which is all invalidated by her blame of me and defence of the abusers
  • All the many parties, fundraisers and volunteer events that I helped with, especially the Village show.
  •  two boyfriends, G. and Chris.
  • The motorbike
  • working in West Sussex in those fantastic gardens
  • swimming in friends' swimming pools in Winchester
  • the daytrips and special times with Mind when I was younger and referred myself to them for the social side of things
  • My safe cozy bedsit in Andover
  • Passing my test and driving my own car
  • Ice skating
  • my pets
  • Being told that I was autistic spectrum and the relief it brough to be told that at last.
  • Finding out that most of my family were on the Autistic spectrum and had problems
  • finding my sister who I had lost touch with her for so long
  • my tied cottages and doing the garden with Ted
  • Trying to run my own business
  • Being able to help with church events and services
  • going back to college as a mature student
  •  trips to the islands
  • moving to the islands
  • being adopted
  • my visit to england just before my first christmas on the island
  • sailing and watersports
  • low water fishing and cooking the catch
  • marshalling for the carnival
  • all the wonderful volunteer work on the island
  • dog walking and playing with the rescue dogs
  • photography on the island
  • all the activities and sports I took part in on the island
  • happy times at St. C's before the brute safeguarding official ruined it
  • A friendship on the island
  • winning the sailing award
  • buying my little boat
  • signing choir

Things I like

  • The railway
  • helping people
  • hugs with close friends
  • strong soap and laundry smells
  • a soft bed
  • friendship
  • toys
  • candles
  • being clean
  • sleeping well
  • being full
  • good bin raids
  • being understood
  • jewellery
  • rain, wind, snow, fog, frost
  • night time
  • fast journeys in any vehicle
  • animals
  • baths and showers
  • good movies
  • sanctuary
  • swimming
  • the sea (but I can't think about it or go near it without getting upset)
  • solitude
  • sports (that I can no longer do)
  • travelling
  • kindness and gifts
  • samaritans
  • flowers
  • jokes
  • hills and mountains
  • work

Losses from having to leave The Island

  • Livelihood, career and job, forever
  • Clean record
  • All volunteer work
  • Health
  • Home, in all ways possible
  • Boat, sea, sailing, rocks, cliffs, sea, sailing friends and qualifications
  • Friends
  • College and exams
  • All posessions, qualifications and identity apart from a non-english passport
  • car and driving licence
  • future
  • routine and settled familiarity
  • kayak
  • love and respect of friends and colleagues
  • usefulness
  • hope
  • trust
  • faith
  • dignity
  • bank account - probably forever
  • money
  • purpose in life
  • self worth/esteem/belief - which was always low
  • faith in people
  • ability - physical and mental
Everything

Triggers/things and words that cause flashbacks

  • police
  • anything military
  • sea
  • boats
  • mental illness
  • old friends
  • names
  • songs of praise
  • church
  • prison
  • surfing
  • children
  • indications of wealth
  • nightmares, dreams, memories
  • driving licence/car
  • reminders of what people have said and done
  • 'adoptive/adoption'
  • holidays and special days
  • any brutality or abuse

2 comments:

  1. Some nice happy memories there. Thanks.

    "My 18th Birthday that the farm staff made special even though my family forgot". Can you tell us in a later blog how that was special, and what happened. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Tony, yes, I can tell you even just in a comment, but I will be hopefully transferring the whole story from the homeless blog to this one at some point.
      I was on work placement on a farm over my 18th Birthday, and I don't think I even mentioned my Birthday but the staff knew, most 18 year olds have a big party and a lot of fuss, I think, but my 18th was kind of forgotten by my family like most of my teen Birthdays.
      The farm staff got me a card, and a present, and at the end of the day they took me to the chip shop for fish and chips and a bottle of coke, basically I am a simple person and simple kindnesses like that mean a lot to me, I had a lovely Birthday, especially as I loved being out on the farm.

      Delete