Sunday, 19 January 2014

Formal letter to the Dean of Jersey that he requested after consulting with his lawyers some time after I originally made the complaint, name of churchwarden omitted for the purpose of this post. I have to say I did not really know how to word a formal letter and had already made this complaint in a number of written statements to the Dean, I still felt very much blamed and responsible for allowing the situation, I was also utterly traumatized that I had been 'adopted', regressed, abused and blamed

******** ******
****** ****
****** ****
JE* ***


Dear Very Reverend Bob Key,

I am writing in response to your request for a formal letter of complaint.
I am writing to complain about **** *****, during the time I knew Mr. ***** he repeatedly discussed sexuality with me, asked me very personal questions about my sexuality and repeatedly touched me intimately and kissed me intimately, he was repeatedly asked not to.

I even threatened him by telling him that I would hit him or tell his wife. I did hit him on one of a number occasions that he touched my breasts. I am strongly against immorality and I believe that marriage is sacred, only a husband and wife should be together intimately, and I have been abused when I was younger and therefore am not comfortable with sexual advances.
Because **** ***** was my adoptive father, I tried to pretend everything was ok, and told him NO, every time, he misbehaved, and also told him we mustn’t talk about sexuality. But his behaviour had a bad effect on my behaviour and I was took the consequences, mainly *****’s fury and being discussed in church and made to feel very small and rubbish.

At the same time as behaving inappropriately **** would try to make out that I was in love with him and that I was behaving inappropriately, for example when I kissed his cheek, just as I would kiss any of my friends, he would try to make that out to be outrageous and inappropriate, despite the fact that he would kiss my lips and neck. I never encouraged Mr ***** to be sexual with me, he called me his ‘daughter/adoptive daughter/like a daughter’ and I saw him as my adoptive father, and loved him as a daughter loves her father.

I was very distressed by this sexuality in the friendship, and I remain very distressed by what has happened, and by the consequences this had on my friendship with the *****s, and by the things that  the *****s have said and done about me as a result.
I feel that it is necessary to continue a complaint against **** ******, as he has taken no responsibility for the damage that he has done, and I feel that my name has been blackened by this terrible situation, and I cannot bear the thought that **** ****** may hurt other people the way he has hurt me.

I am left very hurt and ill, and am currently struggling to work and look after myself.
I feel very angry and am severely distressed and I have frequent nightmares and struggle to enjoy my leisure activities, my life is very badly damaged by the *****s and the ongoing complaint.
I have been unsure about making a complaint as the ******s had shown kindness to me despite the other hurtful treatment, and because I am ill and seeing no hope whatsoever of recovery, and every thought or dream of the *****s hurts me.

***** ******

1 comment:

  1. Shortly after this was written, and as the police were delayed in interviewing me due to the number of Haute de La Garenne survivors they had to interview, I went to stay in the UK for six weeks as I was so distressed and was also often seeing the churchwarden and his wife and he laughed when he saw me, as if it was a joke. To me it was no joke to have been regressed and abused, I couldn't cope, and the Dean's attitude was also damaging. I also took anti-depressants at this time as I was so upset, and these made me more ill.