Good Cop Down/Patheos

A new and interesting blog is 'Good Cop Down' https://goodcopdown.wordpress.com/

And a Great Support to Religious abuse survivors is Patheos SASBN:

 http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/spiritual-abuse-survivor-blogs-network/spiritual-abuse-survivor-blogs-network-articles-sasbn/

Does Anyone know if this Damian Thompson chap is married yet?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2912621/DAMIAN-THOMPSON-Bishops-wrong-poverty-time-irrelevant.html

If not, he has a proposal :)

Would you believe it, the Daily Fail has at least temporarily turned against their employers, the Church of England!

15/01/2015

Dear Archbishop Welby,

I am sorry to see that you have come back from pneumonia straight into church propaganda in the press with a vengeance. I can only assume it is because the church has had so many negative mentions regarding abuse while you had a very quick bout of pneumonia.

I think yet again, you are a leading light in hypocracy, as you show off at slamming the government to try and make the church popular.

Whoever writes your propaganda scripts really needs to be replaced.

It is hilarious that you think a narrow, abusive club for the rich that excludes and abuses the poor can slam the government over the poor.

You and your church, in being there, in government as you are, in abusing your power, in upholding the divide between the rich and the poor, in wiping your feet on the poor as you do, in having apartheide policies against the poor, you are upholding the abuse of the poor, you and your church and your billion pounds of church properties held by church commissioners.

When you sell the billions of pounds, and when you right the injustices you cause, such as the Jersey matter, which has had no resolution for the abuse survivor who you oversaw national and local press vilifcation of, rather than bringing justice, and when you recompense Kendal House victims and their families, then you will have more credibility, and indeed will be right in God's eyes, as you are not now as you show of in such hypocracy.

Slamming the government for doing exactly as you do, when you could be spending that time putting the Jersey injustice right? When does your hypocracy end?

Please stop showing off and spreading propaganda, the only response you get in the comments section of the papers and social media is that you are a hypocrite.

And as for setting your lawyers on me over a clergy discipline measure? Thousands of pounds wasted, money which, if you were Christians and going by the Bible, you would be using to feed the poor, not oppressing one person who lives in abject poverty since you destroyed her career and life.

I think I should write a book about your propaganda and how it makes you into a hypocrite, in the meantime why has the clergy discipline measure not been upheld as you continue to mislead the sheeple and annoy people who know better than to believe you.

someone shut the archbishop up, please, he told the press he doesn't believe in God, he maligned his father publicly, he is an embarrassment to the church, a real burden, who is happily losing them numbers by his incessant contradictions.

Uphold my clergy discimpline measure against him, get him to be quiet so abuse victims don't have to suffer him or spin-Doctor Butler any more.

sincerely,

Thank You Daily Fail, for not upholding the Propaganda and Flannel of the church Any More! 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2912573/Fury-bishops-say-cuts-mean-poor-cast-aside-Cameron-angry-MPs-attack-church-s-two-senior-figures.html

There's a turnup for the books - 'That there man is from the Home Office, young William'.

http://jerseyeveningpost.com/news/2015/01/15/uk-raised-concerns-about-haut-de-la-garenne-in-70s/

A short letter to the Bishop of Durham on his continued nonsense in the House of Lords

14/01.2015

Butler,

Some idiot, because it has to be an idiot to take in your flannel and lies to protect the church and make it look good, has been trying to force your flannel and spin on me this morning.

As long as Jane Fisher remains in power at Winchester, and as long as you do nothing either about the whitewashes and conflicted reports and as long as you do nothing about Kendal House, you are a sham, a liar and a spin doctor, nothing else, and every time you abuse your power and mislead people, you are re-abusing victims, be quiet, or preferably stop being a sham safeguarding authority, because while you have been in a safeguarding position I have been relentlessly destroyed and had no voice and the church have continued where they left off destroying me in 2011, and I am shattered.

I made a clergy discipline complaint against you because why should the National CSA inquiry end up led by another CofE stooge so that the CofE are never called to account for their institutional abuse? And why should I go on suffering because the CofE have acted illegally.

Until you address these issues, you need to stop abusing your power in the House of Lords and the press, and you should be ashamed of yourself before God and repent.

For goodness sake, how long do we have to endure you? Former Bishop of Southampton protecting an abusive safeguarding officer? Do I have to go back to court to stop you re-abusing victims through misleading press articles and abuse of power in the house of Lords? 

The church's pretence of care and responsibility at the expense of victims, use of victims for PR and self-glorification, is beyond the pale.

Stop wasting time glorifying a corrupt, abusive church that is there for the rich and powerful to console themselves that they are forgiven of their abuses, start doing something about the horrific injustice at Winchester and Kendal House, remove your friend Jane Fisher after her many illegal and seriously harmful actions, which are so glaring that even the Korris report highlights some, and she influenced that to protect herself.

Do something for the victims, who are suffering and do not need a fat man in a purple shirt using them in vainglorious boasts.

The CSA inquiry needs to be independent of the Church of England, not hijacked by it, you have managed to elect two Church of England leaders of that inquiry and both have been dishonest about their links that make them conflicted, much as Steel and Bailhache and others have been in the Jersey inquiry. So, for an honest and fair inquiry, the Church of England and their 'dignitaries' such as Butler-Sloss and Woolf, should be well out of the way, as should you. Please stop using the inquiry to glorify yourself and your corrupt and hugely powerful church, which exists for the rich and powerful to protect themselves.

Jesus wasn't up in government, showing off and abusing power, the Pharisees were. And for some reason the Church of ENgland fails to notice that they are not a Christian orgnaization, they are the modern day pharisees, they have wealth, power, influence in the press and government, dishonesty, abuse of the poor.

While Jesus had nothing, lived a simple life, had no influence in government and whatever media there was, he was on the level of the poor and needy, he was genuine.

You and your church aren't and cannot be genuine, not having left me destroyed by an almighty shambles that is all your making. You are the pharisees and you claim to be Christians, and I am sick of your noise in the press and House of Lords and I want you to go, and stop harming victims by dishonesty and pretending to care and investigate, you have never yet successfully investigated the Church's own abuse, even your Chichester inquiry was rife with cover ups and denials, such as that by your elected CSA inquiry chairwoman, Butler-Sloss, who's husband is rumoured to have visited child prostitutes. 

Please stop misleading people, it isn't Christian, and the more the Church of England continue to veer from Christianity in favour of their image, the more you become a defunct pharisee organization, there to protect the freemasons and powerful position holders who use the church for their own needs.

There is no place in the church for the vulnerable, poor, disabled or children, such people are actively discouraged from being part of the church, not least when the old and very rigid and narrow minded people who like to 'own' the church make children out to be a nuisance or call an autistic visitor 'mentally retarded' and you have a secret apartheide policy against the vulnerable, wherein an abuser can visit the houses of vicars and church leaders, as my abusers could and did, but someone like me is secretly banned without being told why, and is left feeling rejected and hurt, and not because the church want to protect me from abuse, but because they want to protect themselves.

So until you resolve these issues, and until you resolve other issues such as a female General Synod member from Jersey proclaiming that 'Women Bishops are against God' (but apparently not women representing at General Synod) and then the Deanery of Jersey having to do what all other Diocese had to, even those against Women Bishops, and claim to be 'delighted' that there are women Bishops, even though the decision for women Bishops was forced on the church by the government, until the Church of England stop being so blatantly dishonest and abusive and refuse to resolve the harm they have done through abuse and cover ups, please be quiet and stop misleading the Lords and the press, you are offending God, and you are doing so blatantly, and you are also offending me and other victims.

Your fake apology to victims is only seen as duplicity and the more you go on with this charade and misleading gullible people, the further from God your Church goes and the more defunct it becomes.

Your facilitating of abuse of me in the church times was beyond the pale, and if I have to go on putting up with this and my clergy discipline measure against you is not dealt with, I will go to court to stop you re-abusing victims to glorify the church.

sincerely,

-- 

HG

My blog   http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/

A survivors account

As with many she found the police unhelpful to extremes. She was also a survivor of faith related abuse and as I have had to and am doing, she has had to work hard to change the beliefs that were drummed into her. An outsider cannot imagine how hard this is, when you are brought up believing extreme things about God, linked to abuse, it can be very hard to change those beliefs, which can affect your whole life.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/child-abuse-victims-letter-theresa-4974568

A lot of negative articles in the papers about the Church of England and organized religion at the moment, even their pet papers are speaking out

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/paedophile-vicar-still-wears-dog-4971960

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2637961/Convicted-paedophile-allowed-interrogate-victims-Jehovahs-Witness-meeting-wanted-barred-church.html#ixzz3Mw9uYo00

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2904696/Victims-Church-care-home-Dr-Mengele-Teresa-children-damage-drug-experiments-inflicted-girls-Church-England-care-homes-20-years-ago-never-undone.html

The Church-led National CSA Inquiry

Dear Home Secretary,

I am writing to talk about the National CSA Inquiry, and the mess it has got into. I am sure you receive a lot of correspondence about it.

My letter to you is about the Church of England involvement in the CSA inquiry.

Both Baroness Butler-Sloss and Fiona Woold were not neutral, not just because of their connections in politics and law, but also because they were both Church of England positions holders. Baroness Butler-Sloss was famously a Church position holder and tried to avert the misconducts of a Bishop reaching public knowledge, but Fiona Woolf, as well as being in public office, was also a church position holder, and was on the PPC of a church. Now while some may count that as insignificant, I don't believe it is, especially not after Paul Butler. the Church of England's PR guy, started shouting in the press about the CSA inquiry. It really made me think.

The Church of England remain unable to deal with Safeguarding as they are still in the dark ages where abuse was pretty much a 'perk of the job'. I am sorry if that offends you as I realise that you are a Vicar's daughter and you may well have a bias to the church that will enable them to elect yet another of their own to lead the inquiry, but the thing is, that will not be an effective inquiry if you do, because the Church have done great wrong and a huge amount of institutional and serious abuse is their responsibility, which is why they should not be allowed to influence the CSA inquiry.

Undoubtedly you have heard of Kendal House and the horrific abuse that was carried out there, and as yet there has been no justice and no apology to victims, from the Church of England, who ran Kendal House, and it has had effects on generations of Kendal House survivors.

I also do not want the Kendal House victims to be further used as I have been, I was used for a PR stunt by the church, who seemed to be desparate to claim that they are good at safeguarding, and yet they publicly 'apologized' to me in the press, didn't bother to personally apologized, lied that they did, and spewed my private life all over the press which led to a smear campaign by my abusers' supporters and the wrongdoers who covered up for the abuse at my expense and vilified me.

As yet, nothing has been done about this and I remain anguished, unheard and living in fear because of the church and press vilifying me and leaving me driven from one community and another.

This would be catastrophic for Kenday House Survivors if they are allowed to be treated the same as I have been. 

So, your inquiry, much as you may love the Church of England, needs to be independently led, not led by a Church position holder, because the extent of the church's past and continuing cover up and harm to victims does need to be seen, and as they still can't handle safeguarding but have continued relentlessly to harm me, they should not lead the inquiry, they should be being investigated from the outside either through the inquiry or through an independent body.

I am absolutely sure that Paul Butler or Justin Welby can and will do a PR stunt apology to Kendal House, and make a lot of noise about caring, and probably needlessly defame me as they did in a recent church times article, but public lavish showing off won't change the reality of the horrendous culture of the Church of England, which is a club where government and society condone and pay for these wealthy old people to throw their weight about, influence the press and abuse their power, the CofE most of the time forgets Jesus teaching and example. Jesus lived simply, homeless, dependent on others, and without the affectation and propaganda that the church spew into the press to cover for themselves.

I live simply and in poverty, the church took my career and home from me and I sleep on a mattress and look in bins and will never be able to have quality of life due to what the church have done to me. They are the modern day pharisees and they do not look after children or the vulnerable, in fact they have a very very discriminatory policy against the vulnerable and they call that 'safeguarding' and they actually believe themselves.

sincerely,

The new Jersey

Apparently, under the new rules, The Diocese of Canterbury gets all the money, while the Diocese of Winchester appoints new clergy to the Channel Islands.
Actually potential clergy are selected by the existing Jersey clergy, who meet candidates and decide who they want. Then they tell Winchester.
And these days they only select clergy who will go along with the cult theme of the Jersey churches.
As I was repeatedly told.

And the Voice of Reason in the comments section, did they ask the people what they wanted?:

http://jerseyeveningpost.com/news/2015/01/12/dean-of-jersey-welcomes-excellent-news/

Because, if the Church of England have any morals left, which is unlikely, I know, they will remove Dakin for his million pound embarrassment which didn't achieve anything good and needlessly severely harmed me.
If Dakin can't run the Channel Islands, can't deal with a dispute without needing a PR firm and threatens a homeless abuse victim who he forcibly traced and who was begging him and his church not to keep coming after her and violating her, then something is wrong.
He likes showing off and PR, but that doesn't make a Christian, in fact it doesn't make a good person.

This sounds like the Jersey cult churches, not New Jersey!

http://metro.co.uk/2015/01/12/fear-of-god-doesnt-work-any-more-so-violence-will-right-5018678/

Where are Welby's Tears? Well, I think when he is better from pneumonia, he may have a crack at being 'Heartily sorry' or whatever other script is put in front of him.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2904696/Victims-Church-care-home-Dr-Mengele-Teresa-children-damage-drug-experiments-inflicted-girls-Church-England-care-homes-20-years-ago-never-undone.html#i-8aa33475438ed366

Ballast for a sinking ship

There's an upside down ship in the Solent
an insurance job, they say,
but they can't seem to right it
so it will just have to stay that way

the Anglican church is burdened
with fat unholy men
let put them on the sinking ship
to balance it out again

And we all say ayyy-menn
(unless posing as a rabid evangelical offends us)


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-30745137

why has the church of england suddenly started reading my blog?

Dear Bishop Dakin,

In August 2013 I made a complaint against Jane Fisher, 

You didn't deal with it and it still hasn't been dealt with, she has been left to continue to be involved in my case even though she is conflicted by the fact she has commited misonduct and has been able to cover up for herself at my  expense by continuing to be involved in the Jersey matter, while pretending to 'care' about me as she has throughout her six year destroyal of me.

It remains that there is a complaint and it hasn't been dealt with, so all the PR and showing off in the world only puts you in the wrong and shows you as Godless and without integrity.

I am re-iterating my complaint, but as you and Elizabeth Hall and Bishop Butler appear to be protecting Fisher, and you made a cop out of referring her to her 'line manager' who did nothing, and you both allowed her to continue to harm me with an illegal referral to the NSPCC, I am re-iterating this complaint.

This time I am re-iterating the complaint to you, because she is a Church of England Reader, and YOU are her line manager.

You have a reader under you who has harrassed, stalked and destroyed a vulnerable adult, acting ILLEGALLY repeatedly, in liasing with services and authorities, even lying to authorities and the police as she wiped out my friendships and home, defamed me, shamed and slandered, me drove me from all sources of help by slander, libel, defamation and illegal interventions, lied to police and courts of law and made illegal referrals of me such as that to the NSPCC, all the time making me out to be mentally ill.

She has also perverted the course of justice, by witholding evidence that would protect me from defamation by my abuser in Jersey, to which I reacted, but illegally liasing with the police in 2013 so that between them and her, they tried to force me to give evidence against my abuser, which of course I wouldn't under the circumstances, I am not a puppet to be used by the church, although that is what you have been doing, using me as a puppet.

I woouldn't give evidence after the way the church and police have treated me, what you have done is far far worse that the churchwarden sexually abusing me, and especially what Jane Fisher has done is far far worse than sexual abuse.

You are employing a reader who had knowingly and deliberately inflicted severe harm on me, not least to cover her back, your back and Scott-Joynt's back, and you have not at any time interviewed me regarding this, you massive attack on me in the press with the Fisher-led Korris report, which she influenced to cover her back at my expense, is criminal, as is the fact that i remain voiceless and living in fear of your whitewash Fisher-influenced reports.

So, when are you going to bring justice and let me be heard, when are you going to remove that dangerous woman, Jane Fisher, from church positions, and when are you going to take my story down instead of leaving me defamed by rags like the church times on your behalf?

Last year Jane Fisher jeered by adding me on twitter, boasting on her twitter account that she is matey with your wife, and that she was going to Guernsey, even though the Channel Islands are not under you juristiction any more.

Jane Fisher has actively gathered and furthered defamation of me, is that why she went to Gurnsey? To meet with the Lihou-Honour-Warren family who have harmed me and committed misconduct but Fisher protects them with their side of things but excludes mine, and actively helped Key to use this family against me in Jersey.

If you are not capable of dealing with my complaint against Fisher, as you  weren't capable of overseeing the Channel Islands, then you will have to pass this complaint to another Bishop.

Unfortunately Bishop Trevor would be severely conflicted just as he is in the channel islands complaint, because just as he knows Juliet and Fred Montague who abused me, he also knows Jane Fisher and has worked with her, just as Paul Butler has.

This is why there needs to be an OUTSIDE INVESTIGATION, something the church of England in all their duplicity and dishonesty are not capable of allowing, because they need all the Press reports to be favourable, which is why Justin Welby releases propaganda and flannel on a regular basis to his pet newspaper, the Daily Fail.

If you cannot deal with this matter, and cannot find a non-conflicted Bishop, then there needs to be an outside investigation, of I need to take this matter to a court of law.

As long as you continue the vainglorious boasting in the press, you keep reminding me of your acts against God in defaming and destroying me, leaving me voiceless and upholding my abusers, because that is all you have done with the million pounds you have wasted, showing off in the paper and publicly clearing the Dean before investigating him and having me internationally defamed.

When are you going to act on this matter, or are you really so incompetent that you don't know how? I have made a disciplinary complaint about you, the same disciplinary process you jeered at me because you sit on the complaints panel, and others have made complaints about you, so isn't it ridiculous that you are still at Wolvsley to sign the bit of paper you were showing off in the press about yesterday?

I have made a formal complaint to the police about Fisher, but this is the same police force who, just as you have, refused my side of things, and battered me and locked me in a cell for responding to Fisher and Scott-Joynts continual illegal interventions in my life, and they too upheld Fisher in harming me and in lying to them about it.

Your pretence of caring for me and helping me last year by Jane Fisher's illegal referral of me to the NSPCC was sick, you destroyed me over again, left me voiceless and pretended to help me through an illegal referral without my consent, by a woman who had acted illegally for years and destroyed me.

When are you going to deal with this matter? 

Or are you going to take Jane Fisher's advice that I am 'just attention seeking'?

You would be angry as I am if you had been through what I had and had to see you showing off in the paper when you should have been removed from Wolvlsey by now, while Jane Fisher, who has committed serious misconduct, is still in her position, treating me and the harm she has done to me as a joke, while I have been internationally defamed by the cover-up led by her and damaged for life, and still living in fear of harm from you.

This is a re-iteration of my formal complaint against Jane Fisher. It is in the context of the fact she is an abuser who has acted illegally and is a reader in your Diocese.

Although the fact that you have deliberately refused to deal with a complaint against her as a safeguarding officer is disgusting and you have invalidated your insurance as a result. Also, this matter cannot be dealt with by another church of england safeguarding officer, as they will be conflicted.

The fact that you have made so much loud noise in the press about safeguarding and as yet you are not capable of safeguarding one vulnerable adult is disgusting.

You can deal with this and rectify it or I can take you to court, one thing you are not permitted to do is deliberately harm me through whitewash reports done by colleagues of the Dean or his supporters.

sincerely,

HG

Another PR stunt for the church of england, another triumph for the general public who answered it with their online comments

It is funny how the Bishop of Dover is only touring Guernsey, at everyone else's expense, wasn't he allowed in Jersey? And has anyone noticed the lack of comment by the church on the St. Peters matter?
Click the links and scroll down for comments:

http://jerseyeveningpost.com/news/2015/01/08/details-released-of-jerseys-new-relationship-with-church-of-england/

and

http://guernseypress.com/news/2015/01/05/bishop-of-dover-is-on-five-day-visit-to-island/

I agree, the JEP being a bit squalid here, nothing new

http://jerseyeveningpost.com/news/2015/01/02/st-peter-vicar-resigns-after-affair/

I don't agree with the diocese covering up for and protecting abusers at the expense of victims or people hurt by the abuse, but I do agree with the comments that this could have been kept private, for decency's sake, especially the naming of the lady involved.
The Vicar may well leave Jersey, but the lay reader is less likely to, so what becomes of her? Will she be shamed in the small and closed community of the Jersey churches, just as I was for reporting the churchwarden? Will she be hated for 'losing them their Vicar' as Jersey is old fashioned?
If you are named in the paper like that, on a small island like Jersey, it can make your life hell.

The Vicar came from the UK, but a lay reader is more likely to be a longer term resident, although that is just a guess. It seems all wrong to name the reader, or indeed, why did the matter make the news, couldn't a decent quiet stepping down of both parties have been arranged?
I mean, when it comes to abuse, that is what the Diocese of Winchester tend to arrange, isn't it? Is an affair really worse than child abuse?

Well, as far as the church are concerned, autism, psychological damage from childhood, poverty and being naive are all worse than abuse and abusers, hence them branding me and having me imprisoned while they protected my abusers and their supporters, hence them publishing a report slandering me and spewing my personal life internationally so I was slandered by strangers, but the same wasn't done to my abusers and their supporters.

One of my earliest experiences of the Diocese of Winchester was JM's Benefice administor running of with a woman from the Diocesan Headquarters and leaving his wife alone, dying of cancer.
The fact that these were people in Church positions was bad enough, but the fact it was all excused was worse, followed swiftly by our youth leader being found guilty of paedophilia, and also excused, and called a 'good man really' despite the fact that child abuse ruins lives.
The church shouldn't excuse the inexcusable, they should not cover up to the point they harm people, they shouldn't condone wrong, but they also shouldn't allow the business of vulnerable people or their employees to be spewed round the press, as they did in the Korris report. The Church of England are a bit topsy-turvy.

Regarding the Jersey Vicar and his affair, he is indeed supposed to be setting an example to his flock, and he has got it wrong, and that will affect him for the rest of his life, likewise the lay reader, but that is between them and God.
Pray for them and for the Vicar's wife, this must be catastrophic for her, to find out and to see it in the papers.

The cover up merchant who also covered up in my case

https://audioboom.com/boos/2765739-phil-johnson-has-decided-to-go-public-with-a-recording-of-his-exchange-with-dame-butler-sloss-re-that-bishop?utm_campaign=detailpage&utm_content=retweet&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter

Happy New Year!

Oy, Guernsey, no asses allowed on the blog.
Why exactly do you want to know what happened with the diocese?
They imploded with their own stupidity and we all mooned them.

A look back at 2014

It is difficult to look back.
I could say it's been a tough year, but when have I ever had an easy year? :) I prefer to say, it has been a year full of growth and development and new hope in things where I thought all was lost. It has been a year full of challenges, a year full of harm by the Church of England and their associated agencies as well though.

In the beginning. January/February:

The year started with uncertainty and turbulance, I was still looking for a place to call home and I was still terrified of indoors and of the Diocese of Winchester and their associates and intrusions and harm to me.

Fortunately I have never been completely alone or unsupported, although the learning curve of learning to live indoors has been like coming off drugs and going cold turkey, and I still find indoors difficult, especially as, and this is hard to explain, after being used to the simplicity of the streets, I am 'house dyspraxic', I break things, bump things and stumble a lot indoors, I get bruised and things get dropped, spilled, bumped or broken. I have no recollection of this happening previous to being a rough sleeper, and it is frustrating.

The weather at the end of 2013 and beginning of this year was atrocious and thus it is a good thing I was off the streets.

At the beginning of February I took a room in a lodging House. It turned out to be like being in a homeless hostel only without Staff. And regular readers will remember, I was without lights, had water coming through the ceiling and mushrooms growing in the bathroom, while addicts and dealers argued over drug money in the hall.
The last straw was the kitchen being locked because it was a health hazard. But during the time I was there, I went cold turkey from rough sleeping and came through to be able to actually sleep at night indoors, albeit with earplugs!

In the meantime the Diocese of Winchester and their associates in Jersey who were doing a cover up for Jersey agencies and police caused me distress, and Jane Fisher's friends at Hampshire Social services decided to break the law and remind me of how they had protected her wrongdoing and refused to protect me from her, deeply distressing.

I continued to plead with Hampshire Constabulary to protect me from the Diocese of Winchester but instead they ignored me, but HMIC then gave Hampshire constabulary a VERY BAD report for doing exactly the same thing to other vulnerable people. About time someone held that corrupt force up to the public for their faults.

Hardly able to walk, and realising how little movement I had, I saw a back specialist and was told that though there was a lot of work needed, there was also a lot of hope. The situation improved steadily but it was to be a long process. The specialist said he could only do a fraction of what he needed to or it would be too painful. But one session was too painful one day, and I was ill with the after-effects, and stopped the treatment, at the time I only stopped temporarily, but as the Church of England problems continued, I was unable to allow time or pain, because I had to fight for my life against the Church. I also had to quit attachment therapy because of the church and because of finances. However, I may be able to resume therapy, not just for attachment disorder but also the rest of the range of my problems, in the New Year, if I can afford it, as well as having the therapeutic horse therapy.

March/April:
One evening as I sat in the early hours, listening to the violent fights in the corridor, I decided to once again override the Diocese of Winchester's branding of me, and I remembered when I was in my early 20s and I had a few happy years in a nice little bedsit. I wondered why on earth I could not live like that again even with the Diocese's branding of me and the loss of my career, I knew I could do better, but how?

I advertised for a bedsit, stating I was quiet and looking for somewhere quiet.
And the advert was answered by one person, the person who had the place of my dreams to let.
This person is referred to in the daily blog as 'The lesser spotted landlady' only as a joke, she is a lovely lady who I will always keep in touch with. I absolutely loved the flat and the council condemning the house shattered my life, but that comes later.

April and onwards:
Settled in a new flat and starting to live a fuller life now, I was unfit and could hardly walk, but as the weather got warmer, I started swimming and doing water-based exercise, and this was the beginning of an ongoing programme to improve my health and fitness, which I believed to be impossible but is now going incredibly well, it was partly despair and depression that led me to believe this and partly what a terrible shape I had got into on the streets and because of the church, I was destroyed. I am amazed at the way things have improved.

The blue bike. I cannot remember when my life was transformed by the blue bike, which gave me freedom, joy and mobility, and improved my muscle tone so well that my walking has improved, and I now walk without a stick, and I started wearing shoes sometimes instead of always wearing boots to help me walk, and now I wear shoes, although I am left in pain and hobbling sometimes. I never thought I would regain mobility and fitness as I have, and a change of asthma medicines as well really kicked off a revolution in my life, with my fitness and health improving immeasurably.

I was no longer terrified of indoors by now, but if anything to do with the church and their associates triggered distress or flashbacks I stopped sleeping and felt trapped.

April and May:

In April? The cold monsters in the Church of England announced they were going to release the Steel report, a biased conflicted report that defames me and defends the wrongdoers with a concocted story by the wrongdoers and their stories and a complete omission of my story, a but like the Korris report only much worse.
I asked the police for protection from harassment by the Church of England and they treated me as they have throughout this matter and acted for the Diocese again.

So I took the Church of England to court. And they seemed thrown by that, I have no idea who took them to court before over this matter, but I recall the Ould Bully proclaiming that he didn't think I had the ability, and in a way he was correct, but to save my life, I did, and they didn't seem prepared and arrogantly offered to the court not to release the report for 40 days and give 2 weeks notice, what utter insanity, how would that make any difference?  It was a traumatic experience for me, but I was left astounded by the lengths that the Church would go to to cover up, yet again. They lied to a court of law! They compiled a complete statement of lies.
Well, I guess I should have expected that as they had already lied to two courts of law and three police forces about me and about their actions, leading to me being branded with an inaccurate record. But dishonesty from senior members of the church never ceases to astound and shock me.

It isn't over.

June/July:

We had a hot summer and I swam every day in the sea, and biked around happily along the seafronts and around town. I barely left the town and got to know people and was generally very happy in the town. I would have been on the beach more but the Church matter took up too much of my time, at the same time as I continued to develop my life through art classes and sessions at the daycentre.
I continued to live in fear of the church, although things had changed.

August/September:

I lost my ESA for a few months and was left destitute and was helped through by friends until my ESA was restored and backpaid.
The ESA system has changed for the worse.

My destroyer, Jane Fisher ruined my weekend with my adoptive parents and friends by adding me on twitter as if to jeer. The problem with her jeer was that I thought it was funny she only had about 27 friends and seemed to think twitter was the same as facebook, and was boasting about her life on there.
I had a minor breakdown so at the time it was far from funny, especially how, after wilfully destroying me, she boasts about being 'passionate about safeguarding', but what the church call safeguarding is not what is safeguarding in reality. Anyway, she boasted about being matey with Sally Dakin etc, and basically that nothing had been done about her serious misconduct. There was no doubt she didn't add me by accident and knew my avatar, after all, she has few friends and few people to follow, and my avatar makes it clear who I am.

So, I contacted the police, who were as helpful as they usually are when it comes to dealing with wrongdoers they protect because of status etc.

I have continued a complaint and they continue to fob me off. However, Jane Fisher apparently deleted her twitter account the same day, I was informed of this by friends on twitter after they supported me through the day and I had complained to the Diocese of Winchester and to the police.
At the time I was astounded that Fisher deleted her account, because she is arrogant and hard-nosed without remorse or conscience and spent three years and more deliberately smashing me down and defending my abusers and their colaberation and condemning and criminalizing me and lying as well. But the church's main focus, especially in safeguarding, is to protect themselves, at the expense of victims. Which would be the only reason she would delete her account.
The same day, a certain someone else related to this, added me on twitter and started asking on twitter what people thought of my legal letter to Bishop Dakin, and what people thought of Dakin. It appeared to be a bait. I gave a few responses for a laugh, not that I felt like laughing. And they left. It took me a long time to recover from Fisher's jeer.

Death.
One evening I looked out the window, having heard noise and the noise continued, and I was shocked to see a man lying on the pavement with paramedics trying to revive him and just giving up, he was dead.
It was late evening and raining heavily and the death became a suspected murder, and the whole night became full of emergency services and noise, tarpaulins and incident tents being battered by wind and rain, and the flat was so hot that I couldn't close the window, so I got little sleep, when I was due to go to my adoptive parents for the next day and had to start out early.
The police did house to house inquiries in the early hours and I spoke to them. I suffered double trauma from suddenly seeing a dead man and then all the police and ambulance all night. It took a while for me to recover.

Photography. I have spent most of the year indulging my passion of photography, which makes me very happy, and my Mum was delighted with my life collage, which she took to show off to our friends.

Two people have been kindly talking to me by email for the last six months of 2014, since Bob ceased to mediate and concentrated on the Jersey Care inquiry, and I appreciate that regular lifeline.

October/November/December:

During these months there was increasing interest from my friends in my written work, especially the short stories and so I have been encouraged to keep writing and look at getting work published, which is my project for 2015.

I was now also exercising really well, doing gym and swim regularly as well as biking everywhere, getting fit in a way I never imagined I would be able to, and also learning to cook and eat healthily as well. If only this had been possible before!

I also picked up my knitting again, deeply keen on creativity and seeing my life expand in all directions with never a shortage of activities to fill my time, I am still a bit hit and miss with my knitting :)

Sadly also, the news came that my home was condemned by the council as unfit for tenants. Unfair as it was a lovely flat in a lovely quiet house and we were all happy, but the council's stringent safety regulations means that the old house needed so much work to meet their standards that it could not be financially viable, so I had to look for a new home.
This devastated me as I had seen the flat as my permenant forever home after years of homelessness.
I am still devastated. We were given long notice but I was so unsettled and distressed that I decided to move as soon as possible and be settled somewhere for Christmas. Haha.

Also during this time, the Church Times released another defamatory attack on me, one of many done by their reporter Madaleine Davis, as well as the defamatory letters they published for Jersey clergy and their supporters.
This left me very ill. But this time I had had enough, the damage was done but this time I stood up to the Church Times and they whined miserably about how they 'Only produced facts' Rubbish, proven rubbish, where was my side published? It wasn't, the only resources they were using were the Church of England's defamatory inaccurate Korris report and the Jersey Deanery smear campaign, without including my side, so, facts? No.

Onwards. I took an expensive apartment in order to remain in my community, but I hated it.
However, two days after I moved, I was able to launch into, and complete within a week, my traditional Christmas walk for charity, 70 miles to provide 40 families with Christmas Hampers and gifts. I had a lovely, if tough, walk, and got hundreds of photos, and came to no harm apart from a shin splint.

I didn't settle in the new apartment, I worried about money, the rent was extortionate and as plumbing and boilers kept breaking, it became increasingly clear that this was a get rich quick scheme for the landlord and it was going wrong.
The apartments were brand new, a converted hotel. No soundproofing, lots of flaws, very uncomfortable and I was very unhappy.
But there was no way I could have replaced the old flat anyway.

I grew increasingly unhappy and tense in the new apartment and wasn't sleeping well. Trying to enjoy the run up to Christmas with the church events, the songs and decorations, but unhappy and out of my depth.

On Christmas eve I arranged rent in lei of notice, put my furniture in storage and took myself and what I needed, and came home for Christmas. I wont go back to the apartments. And I am peaceful here in a tenancy of lower rent and lower demands on me, somewhere I know and am happy enough to be.
And basically, that brings the year to a happier ending, and I am hoping for a better 2015, without needless cruelty from the Church of England.

I have enjoyed my Christmas so far, and was delighted to receive a lovely email from old friends yesterday, people asking how I am as I haven't been around. Heartwarming.

It has been a year of friendships, new and old, and a year of building and growing and learning to relate to people, the reactive attachment disorder and autism continue to stump me and stunt growth (which in turn always reminds me of  the Diocese of Winchester's opinion of me as a result of my problems) but generally my ability to interact is better than it has ever been and I am less afraid of people and my agrophobia has mysteriously dwindled to almost nothing.

In 2015 I start equine therapy and also the more serious and intense therapy focussing on my problems and their origins.

You will notice I have started mentioning my adoptive parents on the blogs, and openly calling my Mum 'Mum'.
Those who don't know the story, this was nothing new, I didn't mention it because while I was homeless in Winchester in 2011, the Diocese tried their best to separate me from my adoptive parents when they were still new friends, but I have realised that despite the massive hurt the Diocese caused, they became powerless to prevent this friendship, despite the many other friendships of mine, long term, loving friendships that the Diocese destroyed because my friends there were Church of England and easily influenced, but my adoptive parents are Catholic, as I am.
This is the story, if you don't know it:
http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/my-adoptive-parents-i-wont-look-too.html#.VJ0x-sgJA

Lets go into 2015 with courage and hope. I will stand tall and continue to face off against the Great Grim Church and their vanity and arrogance and I hope they will let me continue to build my life out of the ashes of their repeated devastation of it. Life will be bound by the horrific one-sided record that the Diocese got me as a result of their failure to safeguard, or take responsibility, and all I can do is going on being creative with and in my life and keep up a steady programme of activities to prevent depression and hopelessness, and focus on the good in life, not the bad. I still have flashbacks and distress and I have learned to recognise this and work with it as it will continue this way indefinitely as will the fight with the church.

Happy New Year!

http://veronafathersmirfield.com/

Christmas prayers

Good morning.

Lettuce pray:

I pray for the Archbishop who has pneumonia. For a swift recovery.
And for anyone else with pneumonia or illness that has affected their Christmas, for healing and peace.

I pray for all the homeless at Christmas, especially rough sleepers who have lost hope, and see Christmas as a time when all sources of warmth and shelter are closed. Especially those in the snow and bad weather.
I pray for families homeless at this time, for hope, and that they are shown kindness.

I pray for any bereaved at this time, who are grieving, and for whom Christmas is an anniversary of loss. Comfort for them. Amen

I pray for all people who are like the drunk man on Christmas Eve, who see Christmas as a time to get drunk and put their health at risk, so they miss out on the joy and peace of the day. Safety and peace in Jesus Name.

I pray for any person who faces increased abuse or violence at Christmas, anyone who feels in danger or threatened, for their safety. Safety and peace for them, amen

I pray for all who feel lonely, unloved or hopeless. For joy and hope of new beginnings.

I pray for any child who didn't get presents or love on Christmas Day, for love and joy to be theirs from Jesus.

I pray a blessing on all who have helped and supported me this year. Especially Bob Hill and the two people who keep regular email contact with me.

And most of all, I pray that the Church of England repents it's duplicious ways and does indeed restructure, to remove the abuse of power, press propaganda and corruption and wrongful influence.

And I pray for Jersey, where the City of London and the Finance industry and Church decide who governs the island, and Islanders suffer as a result. I pray in Jesus Name for that system to be broken and those who have covered up or excused abuse and protected wrongdoers at the expense of their victims to be called to account. In Jesus Name, amen.

Blessings and peace to all, in Jesus Name, amen