Lets get rambling and incoherent for Macsas

Start with the non-macsas, to be annoying.

Dear Diocese of Winchester,

Is there any sign of the Bishop understanding the impact of his abuse of me yet?

And any sign of him stopping being a coward and stepping forward to end my suffering?

The thing is, the church have shown ultimate hypocrisy in this, destroying me publicly while protecting abusers to avoid scandal for the church.

When I was part of the church, and one of my youth leaders was convicted of child abuse at the school where he worked, but presumably not in Romania where he was also allegedly abusing orphans, the church tried to keep it silent in the parishes and disconnect him from the church.

But I didn't know about the church being corrupt and dishonest, I was naive. So I expressed my horror at the man who had led our youth group doing such terrible things.

I was damned and told that God would judge me the same as the abuser.

And to punish me further, the Korris rubbish whimpered about me being 'unforgiving' for speaking out on something that the church had tried to keep silent. That was purely a vindictive lie by Jane Fisher, by the way I haven't had a reply to my complaint about her yet.

But the church didn't publicly destroy Malcolm Eastlake, they let him feel forgiven and go on with a normal life.

While the church destroyed me for years, and for three of those years it was public destruction. And before that, it certainly wasn't secret as I was slandered round my communities and driven out. I can't live a normal life as a fugitive who is still attacked and put at risk over what the Bishop has done, and with no access to help because of the way I have been branded to the authorities.

Eastlake, the abuser, was told he 'was a good man really' and the 'church forgave him' but unfortunately the church are selective in who they condemn and forgive, and as yet I see no sign of 'forgiveness' for being a church abuse victim.

Destroying me publicly while I screamed and screamed for help wasn't forgiveness, it was condemnation and hatred and you didn't inflict it on Malcolm Eastlake, so why did you inflict it on me?

When the Bishop steps forward to show integrity and explain why he has done this to me on top of everything I have survived, would he like to explain why the church have treated me worse than a man who gets sexual gratification from children? Those children will be affected by the abuse for life, as I am.

The Bishop and Archbishop, with all their grandeuer and falsehoods to the press and media, appear to have no respect for God or a vulnerable human life.

The Church needs to be regulated so that lawless crooks such as Dakin, Wilmott and Welby would face immediate and proper police action for the kind of abuse that they have inflicted on me, and instant dismissal. They are not ordained by God, they are chosen by 10 Downing Street and the Queen, and nothing in what they are or do, represents Jesus or His teachings, it is a terrible sham, that in this day and age shouldn't continue at the expense of the vulnerable.

Please remind the Bishop that he is still abusing me by leaving me suffering and not taking responsibility for his destruction of me for and with the Jersey Deanery and the lack of investigation into what happened to me in Jersey, his silence doesn't make his liability go away, it simply increases his horrific negligence which is killing a vulnerable adult in suffering beyond bearing or healing.

JJ

Dear Charities Commission,

I would like to proceed with my formal complaint against Macsas. Please could I have the forms. I fit the category of a vulnerable client and former client of this charity who is speaking up about their misconduct. If I don't speak up, they may kill other vulnerable people, if they haven't already. Other survivors have shared their concerns about macsas with me.

I have had contact with Macsas, the 'clergy abuse charity' for just under a decade, and they have never behaved well or professionally, and have acted at all times in favour of, for and on behalf of the church of england, my abusers. Which is hardly surprising as one of the leaders of Macsas is also a church of england employee, and my experience is that macsas are akin to a branch of the church, and certainly in their siding with the church at all times and facilitating slander of me in the church times, this would appear to be the case.

The most recent incident involved a drunk male member of macsas alone with me, trying ignorantly to push the church of england's slander of me onto me, trying to uphold the church in their destruction of me as an abuse victim to cover their backs, and when I said what about my side of things, he said he 'had tried to read it but it was rambling and incoherent'.

Two points to make there, why if he didn't understand my story, did he continue to uphold the church's? Are they autistic and profoundly traumatized and psychologically damaged? No, so why does their story get macsas's priority, to the point where macsas nearly killed me by facilitating slander of me in the press? Why didn't this man and his colleagues, knowing of my disability, make the effort to clarify my case? After all, they kept involving themselves?

Why would anyone, try to force on an abuse victim, their abusers' side of things like that drunk macsas man did? Why would a charity for abuse victims behave like this? As if the victim was a fake and had no side to things? 

Charities commission, this link below is a rather angry but perfectly relevant description done after Macsas facilitated the church times, who had already slandered and defamed me for two years for the church, in continuing to harm me in the incident that nearly caused my suicide. This letter is from two years ago, and sadly under Macsas's biased eye, the harm to me has continued unchecked. They claim to care about mandatory reporting but have allowed a victim to be publicly destroyed on the abuser's word that the victim is mad and bad, would they survive being publicly destroyed if they were vulnerable and broken and abused? 

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-bishop-paul-butler-and-macsas

At the end of this email I also attach a letter to the macsas man who destroyed me when he was drunk, there is extensive reference to Frank Beck, because the macsas man decided to squash up to me in the pub, where he and his friends were drinking and I wasn't, and talk about Frank Beck, triggering dangerous flashbacks for me.

Macsas have yet to answer this letter and to answer my complaint, they have tried to set their solicitor on me, indicating that they have done wrong and know they have done wrong.

The damage to me by the church is horrific, the church spent a million pounds whitewashing my case, and macsas have upheld the whitewash at all times, even eagerly contacting me in 2013, forgetting to apologize for their horrific damage to me previously, in their eagerness to uphold what was essentially a church-centred, church-completed, whitewash of my case.

When macsas eagerly contacted me to thrust that horrific public attack of a 'report' onto me, they didn't appear to realize that a church version of events, carried out by a church member, without my side of things, and thrust into the press and media to trigger hate attacks, was not a report, it was an attack, and macsas supported this attack to me.

They failed, when contacting me to support the attack, to even consider the impact on me, and they also failed to apologize for breaking the law in 2011, by enabling my abusers to have my location and slander me out of all homeless services and outreach when I was homeless because of the church and macsas had refused to help me to restrain the church who were still harming me to cover up for their actions which had made me homeless.

As I write this, I recall the drunk macsas man telling me he 'glanced' at my emails about the church.

For four years the church of england have destroyed me publicly since the launch of that whitewash 'report' that destroyed me to cover up for the now removed rogue safeguarding official in the church of england who destroyed me to cover up for abuse of me, to protect the church's image.

I have emailed macsas many times about the situation, but they have only ever involved themselves in my case on behalf of other people, mainly the church of england, and have ignored anything I say.

Macsas really are not a charity for abuse victims, they are a branch of the church of england, a branch linked through one of their key members being a church employee, and his job, presumably, for the church and macsas, is to protect the church, warn them of victim's intentions and distress, and make sure no justice is ever realized.

That being the case, that has been extremely effective in my case.

So while Macsas have persistently been involved on behalf of the church, and harmed me, anything I say is 'glanced at' or treated as rambling and incoherent, as the drunk macsas man said as he rubbished me alone in that car park.

Is this letter rambling and incoherent? I am autistic and have survived, but barely, a childhood of severe abuse, an adulthood of being abused and destroyed to cover up in the church of england, and most recently a four year public smear campaign by the church that involved a million pounds of whitewash reports, lawyers, PR firms and press and media, all of that was the church's, I was alone and voiceless throughout. 

My writing, on my blogs and in books, is only as rambling and incoherent as this letter, the reality is that macsas were geared towards protecting the church, believing the church, not least because they didn't want to be responsible for their own atrocious failings, and so the man from macsas and his colleagues simply 'glanced' at my emails, and did nothing as I was destroyed.

Macsas, having involved themselves right at the beginning of the recent three year smear campaign and million pound whitewash, contacting me unsolicited with no apology for previous behaviour, to thrust the church's lying defamatory report that was made public in the press and media, then went back to ignoring me, no reason given, 'glancing' at my cries for help, and facilitating lies and attacks on me, such as that in the church times, the ignorance and danger of a man who claims he cannot see the victim's side 'because she is rambling and repetitive' is horrendous. The charity are obliged and should anyway, have some understanding of disabilities and vulnerability, and should never make comments like that, especially not after repeating her abuser's side back to her.

What Macsas have done, culminating in leaving me having a breakdown at the beginning of October as the drunk macsas man upheld the lies about me, blatant lies, ignorantly and stating them as if they were truth, without my side, is they have aided abusers in harming their victim.

The drunk man followed that up by rubbishing my side of things, now is this brief paragraph rambing and repetititve? Or do Macsas need some training and education regarding abuse and vulnerability and how abusers behave? From everything they have done to me, leaving me at the mercy of my abusers 'because I was homeless', enabling my abusers to trace me while I was homeless, driving me from homeless services with slander, bursting back into my life without apology to uphold the church's public smear attack on me, refusing my cries for help and facilitating attacks on me in the press such as the church times, with no objection to the attacks, especially the one that nearly caused my suicide, and then more recently rubbishing me on lies of my abusers and rubbishing my side of things, the drunk macsas man alone with me, destroying me over again and leaving me in collapse. 

Is that a good charity for abuse victims? No. It is one that has, throughout, aided abusers and helped them to destroy a victim.

I wake up from nightmares and in distress at the way macsas has treated me, and they have tried to set their inter-conflicted macsas-member solicitor on me rather than deal with my complaint, and as yet their solicitor's law firm also hasn't commented on this new abuse of power.

No matter what happens, a report will be produced and published that includes Macsas harming me. That is a very succinct and not at all rambling statement. But I would like the charities commission to deal with macsas first. The harm to me by the church has been bad enough, Macsas actively harming me, to the point of slandering me to my family and aiding my abusers in destroying me, is not something to be left any longer, even if they do think they can do as they please and hide behind badly behaved barristers and solicitors. No organization is above the law in the country, apart from the church of england, who truly are.

Macsas should not have facilitated the lawless church in harming me, the church were very capable of extensive damage on their own, and if you think about how macsas have blindly believed the church in my case, think about the hate attacks I have suffered and do suffer, as a result of the church's open vilification of me, it leaves me as a destitute fugitive, who at any time can be forced to flee, can't earn a living, can't claim benefits, can't have therapy or support, because their is no safety or permanence because of the church. I slept rough for years not just because of trauma, but to keep myself safe as macsas eagerly helped the church to continue to trace and destroy me.

When I went to Canterbury it was a leap of faith and hope, to hope to be part of, and support, change and justice for church abuse victims, I didn't know that a badly behaved macsas man would be there to drunkenly tell me that my life story was one of the worst abuse cases he had ever heard, before he destroyed me for the church of england and left me having a breakdown. If I had known that macsas would be at canterbury for the abuse protest, I would have known that the protest was a complete sham. Macsas would be there on behalf of the church, no other reason.

Macsas need to be regulated, they are very aimless, lawless, and dangerous, especially to church of england abuse victims as they are basically an undeclared and harmful branch of the church.

I will never recover from my recent experience at Canterbury, being destroyed when I couldn't take any more ham.

This is the letter I enclosed to the macsas man, macsas and the church who they work for, are silent about Bob's account of my case, because they can't rubbish him as 'rambling and incoherent' when they attack me in the church times or drunkenly in a car park:

http://bobhilljersey.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/jerseys-dean-letter-to-archbishop-of.html

The other letter the macsas man was given after his attack on me was my psychological report, also attached.

I have attached the hill report as well, but it is heavy reading. A bit beyond Macsas' limited capabilities. Macsas can get about as far as reading the lines that the church of england send them 'This is what happened, please parrot this for us'. 

It is time for Macsas to go, I spent last night in nightmares over their harm to me, and woke this morning in severe distress. 

Macsas, this will be posted on my blog, you may rate it for rambling, incoherence, and any other criticisms of it not meeting your needs as a special cover-up branch of the church of england. I do not know how many other victims have been put off standing up for themselves against you and your employers, the church of england, but what I do know is that people who have not been drunk like your member at Canterbury, have told me that my work helps and inspires them and encourages them to speak out. 

I may never recover from your harm, but I know that I have and can go on overriding your attacks, because it is what the people who have given feedback on my blog says that matters, not your hatred and contempt on behalf of your employers, the church of england.

JJ - victim of the church of england and their macsas

By the branches broke like bones

Vital News

Please listen to BBC Radio 2 at 9am tomorrow morning.

It is about the Church of England and the main reason why they shit on victims and pretend to care about safeguarding.

Victoria Derbyshire will be interviewing several abuse survivors regarding the Church of England and their conflicted insurers.

The Churchwarden

Available on Lulu and shortly also on Amazon and other booksellers.

The Churchwarden.

http://www.lulu.com/shop/jj-nortyperson/the-churchwarden-book1/paperback/product-23011906.html

http://www.lulu.com/shop/jj-nortyperson/the-churchwarden-book1/ebook/product-23011890.html

Bastards

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/21/church-of-england-warned-bishops-not-to-apologise-too-fully-to-s/

Bastards

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/21/church-of-england-warned-bishops-not-to-apologise-too-fully-to-s/

Bastards

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/08/21/church-of-england-warned-bishops-not-to-apologise-too-fully-to-s/

New Open Letter to the Bishop of Winchester

Dear Bishop Dakin,

If you put down the phone when I ask for justice and a voice, I will write and I will write my letters for the general public to view, as I have been doing for three years now.

This is an imperfect letter, written during my assignment time and wasting precious and valuable time. I am autistic, not insane.

This morning I woke up from another night of nightmares and flashbacks and woke as usual seeing no point in life because of the level to which you have branded me.

I phoned your office and as usual they put the phone down on me. I gather that they don't put the phone down on paedophiles and paedophile protectors who you have supported and kept in church positions in Jersey? No, of course they don't, in the same way that you excluded me from your whitewash reports about my case and allowed those peadophile protectors in Church positions in Jersey to openly attack and defame me and rewrite my story to vilify me. Although that started when I lived in Jersey with Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts aiding this very same behaviour. And because it continues exactly the same, it is obvious that there has been no improvement in safeguarding in the Church of England. The church in Jersey employs a paedophile protector as lay chair, and the Bishop desparately sings to the press about how safe that exclusive and unsafe deanery is.

As yet you haven't take my statement about the Lihous, Warrens and Honours and Montagues, you haven't looked at how they liased with the Dean and his wife to clear the two abusers and brand me, you haven't even looked at the incident where the Dean openly attacked me over this, and Jane Fisher followed that up by refusing to record it and instead supporting the Dean in lying about it, it remains incredible that the Korris rubbish was founded on Fisher's claims against the Dean, when there is evidence that she aided him in destroying me. And While I remain silenced on these serious misconducts and Godless and evil and deceitful actions, I suffer. So why did you claim that your public attack on me was about safeguarding?!

And what report tells about the impact on me of being regressed to childhood by my abuser and the impact on me of having to deal with the police punishment of me whilst still regressed, and the psychological and emotional impact of the abuse there on top of the severe emotional harm to me by the Lihous and Montagues previously, on top of my childhood as well?
No report even tells of the regression of me to childhood, while Jan Korris brown-nosed the police for Jane Fisher, her friend and colleague.

And also what report tells of paradoxes like Jane Fisher having me attacked by Tim Sledge (one example) claiming I had 'caused the Montagues trouble' while the Korris report makes vague references to things being forgiven and concluded, if she was talking about the Montagues, and if she wasn't, where is the investigation into that? And where is my side of things? How is Juliet Montague's actions in taking me home to a husband who destroyed his own daughter and proceeded to do the same to me 'me causing trouble?' And have you asked Mr Montague if the orgasms he got from abusing me were really trouble? And his temper towards me and others was me causing trouble, when I was extremely vulnerable and have been damaged for life by it?
When is there to be an investigation not only into what has happened to me, but also into the number of serious misconducts by church officials? There is something very wrong with destroying someone, leaving them homeless and going on destroying them relentlessly.

So how can any report also tell of the yacht club child incident to do with my other abuser and thus raise concerns that he is possibly a paedophile? Well, no report does, because despite your massive and ludicrous attack on me in the international press, my story is not told at all, only the diocese and police's story is told, and the diocese and police liased to destroy me, while my abuser remains, to this day, upheld and esteemed in the church, bidding for another churchwarden position with the support of his esteemed friends who wrote the Steel report and also taking visiting lone church women home, such is the contempt of the church for what happened to me, and he is unrepentant because you and jane Fisher have given him the assurance that I was the bad person, not him, that I am worse than a paedophile.
And certainly that is the vein in which the church has run since I reported the abuse. You had me recorded in the JEP in 2010 as a criminal while my abuser and his friend the Dean triumphed,  and when you launched the attack on me three years ago, everyone looked the article up and told me about it!

You illegally liased with Stuart Gull, Jersey Police's version of Paul Butler, press stuntman and cover up expert, you used Gull to further defame me and allow Steel and Johnstone illegal access to my inaccurate police records.
Gull told the public that the churchwarden had no case to answer, after I reacted in extreme distress to being contacted by the police and told them to go to hell, well if you consider that you were hitting me on all sides, violating me through Julie Wallman, lying about me in the press, illegally referring me to the NSPCC, how did you think I would react to your exercise in clearing the abuser?!

Also, when are you going to investigate that as well as the only police action against me being perpetrated by the unforgiving church who would rather destroy an abuse victim and protect her abusers than anything, the police action was unbalanced with the police refusing to stop Fisher and the Scott-Joynts from provoking me, and refusing to protect me and making my distress out to be madness, every time they locked me in and left me damaged for life, they didn't  bail me so that I could produce evidence of my side of things.

 For example, communication between me and the diocese was TWO WAY, and JANE FISHER was provoking me, she also claimed that she and the Bishop, having slandered me all round winchester and shattered my long term friendships and relationships there, leaving me alienated, intended to help to house me.

Horrifying, they didn't have my consent, they violated my access to any help with their defamation and illegal liasons with authorities and along with the police brutality and detentions left me long-term homeless and on the run. Have you even recorded the deception by Jane Fisher and Juli Wills that enabled Fisher to distort things to the court of law later on?
Do you recall that I was imprisoned and thus unable to provide evidence to defend myself against the lies by Fisher and Scott-Joynt? Do you understand that I suffer psychological hell day and night as a result, left voiceless and destroyed for these people who would not stop harassing me.
Can you imagine the psychological damage of that and then you coming after me and violating me all over again?

You know that next time you try to have me battered and locked up, ( which my life is on hold waiting for, and it is like being in a Nazi concentration camp), they can't really go on battering me and locking me up without my evidence being heard, and these letters are part of my evidence.

If there is a God, I won't die without being heard, and although you killed Bob Hill by leaving him to fight you for me to be heard when he was too old and should have been retired, I want to be heard before I die, and every minute that you leave me voiceless and horrifically psychologically injured and living in fear, you are showing that you don't believe in God, you are in it for the free house and the money, to be honest I don't know why you Bishops even pretend any more.

I wish Bob had had the sense to hear me and not base his argument on ther Korris rubbish, because the Korris rubbish is the opinion of one silly, shallow church woman who didn't seem to understand that what she was doing was a multiple criminal offence, and you haven't had her battered and locked up for it.
The re-use of the Korris report by press and the Jersey bloggers has scarred me for life, there isn't any way of recovering from people publishing lies like that as if it was fact.

As you will know from the articles sent to you, Philip Bailhache, the Chair of the Jersey synod, has aided paedophiles in escaping justice and continuing to abuse, and has no remorse or conscience regarding this matter and instead thinks he can publicly attack me, while you stand by and let him.
So tell me again how your public attack on me and aiding these people in vilifying me is to do with safeguarding?

For three years I have suffered being constantly vilified and living in fear and my health has suffered, my health is still suffering. You have treated me with utter contempt throughout these three years and your pretences of care for my welfare while implying to the general public that the Dean is innocent and that the Steel report would harm me, was utterly disgusting. You failed to tell the general public that Steel was conflicted and you also failed to include me in any report, or annul the Steel report when you were shown with evidence that Steel was conflicted.

You also failed to apologize for your illegal harassment of me and perversion of the course of justice by releasing the Korris report not only to the general public but also to the police.
You basically had a report by a member of your church labelled as independent and excluded me from it and released it to the police and mislead them, although they had worked closely with Fisher and the Scott-Joynts to destroy me while ignoring my request to be protected from the illegal interferences of these persons.

You claimed to a court of law that Korris had tried to contact me, and that was a lie, there would have been evidence of that, and why exactly would you illegally authorise a member of the church to violate my privacy by contacting me after you branded me for life for contacting the church and fighting to be heard and to be freed from the grip of Fisher and Scott-Joynt's illegal violations of me after (and before) they illegally liased with police and services who illegally worked with them in response, to brand me and interfere in my life?

What is the end result of all this rape-violation of me? Well for me it is that every day and every night I suffer flashbacks to the rape-violations and being de-humanized and left voiceless to these illegal actions by people with their own agendas, it has damaged my soul in a way that no therapy and no amount of time will ever heal.

But if Korris had tried to contact me and failed, why exactly did you release that unbalanced report to the public and why did you not wait until AFTER you had had me violated and sickened and left in collapse by your abuse of power in illegally having me traced by the police that you had previously used to destroy me and brand me in a way that makes every day of the rest of my life worthless and anguished. Why didn't you use your attacking police to tell me you wanted to do this report and get my views? You blatant and wicked liar!

And why did you then, having had me traced, ignore me and my concerns and proceed with the conflicted Steel report and allow the Jersey Deanery and their friend, colleague and supporter Dame Heather Steel to publicly destroy me while you were too busy lying to the press to ensure that I was protected from this harm and that my side of things was heard too?
Was it good safeguarding? You claimed that this was all about safeguarding!

So, you and Jane Fisher made the foundation of the Korris rubbish to be about me being insane, the excuse that Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts and their police has cooked up to cover my distress and excuse themselves, and then you allowed me to be publicly attacked, even by people who didn't know me, such as Gavin Ashenden, Philip Bailhache, Teri Bond, you allowed me to be attacked not only in the Jersey press and media but internationally, and you also dragged in my estranged family, estranged from me as a result of the Church's destroyal of me.
And you had me publicly crucified, having tried to brand me as mentally ill. Let me ask you, is the Church really so draconian that they think mental illness is a punishable crime?

Or was that just pure evil on your part, to allow someone you have labelled mentally ill to be attacked in that way, because if so, it looks very strongly as if you were trying to force me to commit suicide. Do you think someone who is mentally ill can withstand what I have withstood? Do you think they should have to? Have you ever heard of the term 'safeguarding'?

And do you have any notion at all of what autism or trauma are, and what being publicly violated and branded and left outcast and cut off from help as a result of your actions has done and is doing to me?

As yet you have failed to annul the Korris report, why? You intended to release the Steel report and have apparently faced more than just MY legal action each time you have prepared to release it, but the leaks of the Steel report collectively suggest that it contradicts the Korris report. And that, combined with my formal request for anullment of the Korris report as a whitewash and an untruth to protect church and police, should have led to a public annulment and an apology before each preparation of release of the Steel whitewash.

Also, seeing as you attacked the Dean publicly before clearing him, you owe him an apology. I know very well that he isn't innocent, indeed you allowed him to gather his circle of lawyers and judges to defame and vilify me and make him out to be innocent. You are responsible because you publicly attacked him and me.

You cleared the Dean without investigation, having allowed Philip Bailhache and others to illegally access and use to their advantage, my inaccurate police records caused by the police and church destroying me for reporting my well-connected church officer abuser, you have never made any public condemnation of the people involved in that blatantly illegal activity, they are treated as Royalty in the Church while you have not only had me excluded from Church, you have slandered me worldwide and through all denominations internationally.
It was horrifying to see that organizations such as Huffington Post, Thinking Anglicans and even Premier Christian Radio took up the attack on me and spread the lies that Luther Pendragon wrote for you.
Horrifying, the damage to me is for life, and what has happened to my abuser and his dignitary friends? Treated like Royalty in Church and laughing as they did when you had me dragged from my home, deported, left homeless and still violated unremittingly despite being homeless and in shock.
Why? Do the Church of England really think this is safeguarding?!
Presumably yes, CofE safeguarding involves protecting dignitaries who behave corruptly and alienating abuse survivors and the vulnerable.

Have you reprimanded anyone at all for harming me over this matter? Well how could you when you don't know or care about my story and have done such wrong yourself? If you have millions to waste on publicly destroying me, please also find a million to investigate what has happened to me.

I am still waiting for you to arrange an independent investigation and annul the million pound Steel Whitewash.
I am waiting for you to apologize and I am waiting for you to state that I am safe in my home and community and that I do not need to live in fear of the press and police who you bought and influence with your status and money and the misguided 'Church' label that a few people still think means good and right.

If this matter was about safeguarding, why did you publicly destroy someone voiceless, weak, homeless and already so horrifically damaged that withstanding the public attack was something that they just couldn't survive?
Why would you launch such a case into the press when a homeless and vulnerable adult's life and welfare was already at risk and would then be even more so? Do you really believe you are justified in what you have done to me because of what you have heard from the defendants and their police? No matter how much time goes by, this remains a raw and blatant injustice.

While you keep up the orders of Luther-Pendragon to stay silent, you leave me suffering.
I have asked you for copies of the Steel report, from the original to the latest amendment, now please provide them. You told a court of law that you would, they concern me as they were written about my case with no input from me and you refused to stop the report when you were made aware with evidence that it was conflicted.
You left me waiting to be destroyed. Why would you do that to someone who you labelled as mentally ill to cover up the trauma and emotional distress suffered at the hands of your diocese and your clergy and your rogue abusive safeguarding director?
Would any of you respond well to having your name blackened wherever you went and your privacy violated constantly and unremittingly and illegally but with nowhere to turn to for redress because you are labelled as insane by the church for your distress?

I understand that the Safeguarding officer in question has moved to another position, along with the previous head of safeguarding, and one of several church members and clergy and officers who contact me about your church says that the strategy of Paul butler was to move males into the safeguarding positions in the Church because of the national child abuse inquiry, because males are better liars. Is that the case? I doubt that you need to worry about the UK child abuse inquiry as I have been told that the same dignitaries in Jersey who destroyed me have been allowed to intervene in the UK inquiry to keep Jersey looking clean so it is a whitewash after your own heart.

In any case, you are liable for Fisher's prolonged harm to me in order to cover up for the Church.
What happens to the voiceless vulnerable? Those who can't write when you leave them voiceless and vilified and defamed and branded and broken, what happens to them when you defame them internationally and leave them living as fugitives and put the phone down on them whilst allowing their aggressors meeting time and phone time and a voice and an opinion, especially in the press?
How many deaths occur as a result of the Church of England's desire to look good and pretend to safeguard?
How many of those deaths does Paul Butler use as press stunts? One recently, with the fake press claim that things are better in the CofE.
They aren't.
And how are you going to use my death, if you don't bring a  conclusion to this sustained damage to me? Huge press stunts and lies about my mental health with the help of your police?

Can you really not see a problem with spending a million pounds and more on reports and investigations which are prejudiced and unbalanced and put a vulnerable person's welfare and life at risk, and you try to justify it through the vilification of that vulnerable by the defendants, when you hand the reports over to the defendants? No wonder Luther-Pendragon advise you to stay silent and put the phone down on the vulnerable adult who you are cruelly and unjustly leaving suffering!

The fact that you need to hide behind a Godless firm like Luther-Pendragon, who's role is to mislead and protect you, shows that you are very dishonest and that you have no right to call or consider your position to be anything whatsoever to do with Jesus or God, and in that vein, you are invalid and are taking a lot of money and a free home when your role is null and void. You are one of the things your church have tried to vilify me with because my vulnerability allowed me to keep being taken over by church people, you are a sponger who is living off what you are not entitled to because your actions against me invalidate you.

I understand that you will fail to have the courtesy to respond to this, I am used to that, you respond only to Luther-Pendragon and the powerful Jersey clique of lawyer-clergy-laity-judiciary-freemasons, nothing new there, but you can't go on calling yourself a Bishop if you won't conclude or take responsibility for your mess. Mark Hedley worked very hard to protect you and threaten me, but again, that only shows what the Church of England is and how much the government or outside agencies need to intervene and independently audit the Church and expose the corruption and deceit and blatant abuses of power with church police, judges, lawyers and other agencies which is what the core of the Church of England is about.

My Clergy Discipline complaint remains, and it remains valid, it needs to be dealt with by an outside agency who can see, where Mark Hedley fails to, that your attack on me and your deceit and dishonesty and the damage you have done are not only not appropriate, but also illegal. And the reason that Hedley can't see that is because no wealthy middle class church dignitary does understand poverty and vulnerability, they just judge the poor.
Jesus lived among the poor and had nothing, the Church of England lord it over the poor and destroy them and justify themselves by their status.

On a final note, and this letter will add to the many now available, for which you show no shame and have no answer, but, I remind you every year that if you intend to crucify me this Good Friday, make sure I have the donkey to ride up to the Cathedral on and spoil your pomp and show. You missed the boat the other year when I was 33 and had spent three years travelling homeless due to your Church and jeered by your pharisees.

I am sure you weren't a disappointment to Scott-Joynt, he wanted a bigot like himself who made a show about Africa, but you aren't a Bishop and you do need to step down, what you have done would lead to instant dismissal and legal action in a normal company, but the Church still get away with behaving as they like at the moment, until someone intervenes and changes the law of the land to include the Church and it's members as punishable for crime and protection of criminals.

Your statement to the world is that abuse is an approved practice in the Church and will be upheld and protected and you are happy to horrifically destroy anyone who reports it and you have a free reign and leave from the police and local authorities to do so.

sincerely,

HG

Other letters on this subject:
http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/letter-jane-fisher-and-bishop-tim-dakin-0

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/jane-fisher-safeguarding-director-winchester-diocese

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-very-reverend-bob-key-dean-jersey

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/1st-open-letter-bishop-winchester-0

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/second-open-letter-bishop-winchester

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/i-woke-and-wrote-bishop-morning

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/letter-jersey-deanery-15-october-2013

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/letter-jerseys-external-affairs-minister-sir-philip-bailhache

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/open-letter-jan-korris-church-england-counsellor-and-author-korris-report
http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/letter-questions-dioceses-winchester-and-canterbury

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/second-letter-questions-dioceses-winchester-and-canterbury

A new letter to the Bishop

Further letter of warning to the Bishop of Winchester to cease harassing the vulnerable adult known as HG who he has overseen two years of public humiliation, defamation and harm as well as branding and vilifying her to the whole of the Church of England.

07/11/15

Dear Bishop Dakin,

I know that you are well aware of my distress so I will keep this short, I don’t need to rewrite my previous letters, they are available here, some of them are available here:

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/1st-open-letter-bishop-winchester-0

http://www.opnlttr.com/letter/second-open-letter-bishop-winchester

What I would like to ask is why am I still suffering after two and a half years, still denied justice or even a voice while you and the Archbishop and the Bishop of Dover have given plenty of audience to the defendants who you handed the abuse and safeguarding report over to. Has it not occurred to you that those people can’t write a report about themselves and be honest? Have you not realised that abusers don’t take responsibility and do vilify their victims?

Oh, I forgot, you don’t think I am a victim, because, having never met me or heard my story, you are happy to listen to a carefully put together account of how mad and bad I am. And you don’t know anything about Jersey obviously, I mean launching the Korris rubbish into the press showed that you knew nothing about either Jersey or safeguarding, and you know nothing about me except that you can put the phone down on me but not on Philip Bailhache!

I am writing to remind you that you are responsible for me being harassed, harmed and defamed as a result of the report that you handed over to the defendants to write and now refuse to release to them so that they can publicly triumph in the last straw of destroying me and exonerating the wrongdoers. I have to ask you, have you gone stark raving mad? Are you a psychopath? If not, then what on earth do you think you are doing leaving me to suffer without having done any sort of investigation into what happened to me in Jersey or Winchester? You have allowed the defendants, Jane Fisher and Bob Key to have a very full and public say against me, so when will you arrange a full and published report into my side of things? It is logical that there would be such a report isn’t it?

After all, I have suffered the Church of England and it’s abuse all my adult life, while the people who have harmed me have lived off it’s riches and powers, I have been sexually, emotionally and mentally abused and yet it is only the other side of the story being published. I know the Church of England is very skewed and their behaviour is constantly morally indefensible, especially when it comes to using abuse victims as press stunts, but surely even you can see that there is no grounds whatsoever for leaving me suffering in silence and attacked in the press every few months, this is not a sustainable way of life, and it really has come to a head with the recent song and dance in the press ruining my exam revision and results.

I have tried, despite the non-stop onslaught against me, to move on and live my life, but you won’t let me.  Your conflicted report and the way you have stirred the Jersey Deanery and States up against me to use their huge power for hatred and destroyal that even puts Jane Fisher’s vindictiveness to shame, and you are leaving me suffering because basically you are a cowardly and dishonest man, proven in you threatening me after you launched against me publicly and crushed me and again left me outcast from my friends, family and community in 2013.

Therefore you are responsible for my suffering, and putting the phone down on me while slandering me to people who haven’t met me and giving the defendants a full audience is no longer an acceptable solution. If you do not release me from you murderous grip on my life and your denial of my wellbeing and safety, I am going to die, and while Jane Fisher may vindictively call that attention seeking and all the other lies I watched her trot out against me, I have barely survived this, you have no legal right to punish me any further and stronger and more whole people have committed suicide over less than a terrible and unending hell such as this is.

I am not threatening suicide but I am ill and I am physically deteriorating again after such hard work and effort to get better, and it becomes simply too much in the end.

Please ensure that I have a fair hearing in the Church of England and with the general public. You have offered no apology whatsoever for your abuse of me over the last few years, and indeed, you have many apologies to make to me and others and it is time that you did this and brought what has been the most astounding charade of incompetence and deceit and complete and utter aimlessness in wasting money to an end. If the church has millions to waste on trying to kill someone who they label as a black sheep, why not voluntarily start paying Peter Ball’s victims and the Chichester and Kendal House victims compensation? That  would mean more to the public than Paul Butler’s empty-hearted deceit and PR stunts.

Sincerely,

HG

New visitors to the blog

Hi,

There has been a big increase in viewers of this blog.

I do apologize if you are hoping for new and relevant information.
My day starts at 5.30 as I work as well as being at University, so I am not getting much blogging done.
I think there has been a surge of interest due to the parallels between the deliberate failures of the church and police in Peter Ball's case and my case.

To the people who suffered at Peter Ball's hands, I apologize, I am not trivializing what happened to you. no way.
What happened to you was more serious sexual abuse than I suffered.
What happened to me was sustained sexual and emotional abuse over quite some time, which on top of the terrible childhood I had, was the last straw when I was subjected to the church's denials, cover up and blame.

It must have been awful for Peter Ball's victims to go on seeing him in office as Bishop and to feel unbelieved, and slighted by Butler-Sloss as well. I do know how that feels, being laughed at by my abusers while Jane Fisher destroyed me was indeed intolerable. Jane Fisher being the 'safeguarding director' for the Winchester Diocese who went all-out to destroy me while protecting my abusers in the church.

What more can I say before I go to work?
As yet, no-one is holding the Church of England to account, they are a bit like the government who have shown no remorse for the paedophile ring that has been operating among them.

Paul Butler is usually doing press stunts to get the limelight and make the church look good every time an abuse case is reported.
But he doesn't do anything.
I have been told by a Kendal House survivor that after all the press stunt about an investigation, there hasn't been one yet.
And are the church going to investigate why Ball was left in power, whil Butler was his colleague?
And are they ever going to investigate Jane Fisher and the Winchester Diocese and how the Steel and Korris reports came about?

I have to get to work now. Have a good day.

Another former Queen's chaplain jailed for abuse

I may be wrong but I am pretty sure this is the second one recently?

What strikes me here is Paul Butler isn't frothing emptily about sorrow, grief and all the other emotions that fat old men in palaces are not capable of feeling.

Article:  http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/queens-former-chaplain-jailed-terrifying-6133351

By the way, did you spot what Diocese this was in? :)

Third interview with HG

Yes, we are starting to chat a bit about Jersey in this one.

 Do you like ironing?

No! Anyone who regularly reads my daily blog knows I am obsessive about housework, but ironing is a job I avoid. And most of my clothes are simple non-iron, while my bedding is soft Jersey non-iron, like the bedding I had when I lived in Jersey! :) I love soft clothes and linens and I do very little ironing. I am happy with cleaning ovens and toilets, but I hate ironing. However, I can iron. 
Favourite activity in Jersey? What was it, who did you do it with?

Spoilt for choice with this question!  I had many  favourites, I had a great time on the tall ships, loved all the sailing, enjoyed karate and football, rock climbing, photography, basically the favourites are endless. But I can't really say on here who I did these activities with, as I do not want to cause any problems.

 How did you get about to places in Jersey?

Mainly I drove, I did do a bit of walking, running and even cycling, but not enough. In my last days in Jersey I had no car and was walking, or rather hobbling, because unnoticed, various issues with my walking had worsened and I didn't know what they were or why. Do you like old fashioned hymns? What is your favourite old fashioned hymn?

I used to enjoy some of the old fashioned hymns a lot, and would often listen to them or sing them, but due to the trauma I associate with Church, I don't really find them easy to listen to any more. I like 'Thine Be the Glory' and 'Amazing Grace' and a few others. I rarely hear or think about hymns any more, because I associate church so much with hurt and flashbacks. Do you like modern hymns? What is your favourite modern hymn?

I like some modern hymns, like most people, I have hymns I like and dislike, and again, I have the same issue of trauma that hymns can trigger, I like 'All to Jesus I surrender' and 'Shine Jesus Shine' and a number of others. Have you every seen people fainting at a church service as part of the service? Yes, I remember it being set up as a kind of show, the people laying on hands manipulate people to fall over, it still scares the hell out of me to recall the amount and depth of manipulation and some of the damage it does to vulnerable people. I suffered other kinds of deep psychological damage in such services and 'healing sessions' and know others who have been put at risk this way. I even had someone making a series of direct complaints to me about being harmed by such things in a church in Jersey, because the horrendous handling of my case meant s/he didn't dare to complain to the Dean or Diocese!!!

Which Jersey Churches did you visit (ie. see)?

Now the questions get harder, I try to remember and my mind goes terrified and blank. I will start by saying I always intended to visit St. Saviours Parish church for the historical side of things, but never got around to it. I did manage to visit the chapel at Hogue Bie a few times when I went to be enthusiastic about the archeology side of things there, awesome!  And the story about the sunlight at sunrise? Am I remembering right?

I think I visited most of the parish churches and also some of the Methodist churches, the big Methodist church in St. Helier is quite impressive, and of course the glass church, and although I often heard tourists muttering dissapointedly about the glass church, I did like the glass angels and how light the church was.

I can't remember the name of the closed church that sometimes had concerts but it always seemed such a shame it was closed, I remember the concerts there, maybe I will talk about that another time though.

The Town Church, of course, but I didn't find it very inspiring and the atmosphere itself there is not good, without even anyone being there.

And I seem to recall concerts at a little Methodist chapel in St. Aubin, and then of course the Fisherman's chapel, I think I went there even before I lived in Jersey, so peaceful there, a good place to light candles and pray.

So I got a good and interesting look at churches in Jersey, but always regrettably never managed to stop at St. Saviours Church, even when I went to the Parish Hall, I think it was a question of nowhere to park and I was always in a hurry.

 Which Jersey Churches did you attend (not the same question)?

You are so mean, I don't remember a thing, next question please! 

Churches I attended, it may sound like a lot, but I found churches in Jersey very hard, especially when I was being slandered and shunned, but not just that, they are not like mainland churches and some of the leanings frightened me, so I didn't settle comfortably in a church, especially not when I was being insulted, shunned or attacked for reporting abuse.

I attended St. Andrews church, that was a core church that I attended, and they did joint services with St. matthews sometimes, but didn't do their own evening service, so I would go to the evening service at St. Matthews, great music!, and in the beginning when I lived near St. Lawrence church and was working on Sundays, I would go to early morning communion at St. Lawrence before work, it was so peaceful there.

I also sometimes went to early communion at St Ouens church on the way to work, and later attended a few other services there.

I recall attending a 'longest night service just before Christmas and that was at one of the Churches in the East of the Island and I went to evening  college with the Vicar's wife, that fact is not widely advertised by the church, because of course the Vicar's wife there cannot claim I was mad and bad and trashed the classroom. Haha, I am digressing.

Of course, in the early days, the churchwarden and his wife used to drag me to spend the evening with their little circle of friends at the Town Church, I found it all very boring and it was extremely extremely cliquey there, snooty is a harsh word but not out of place. Anyway, I mustn't get negative.

I attended St. Clements church for a while.

I also briefly attended St. Brelades church.

And was also kindly invited to attend an evangelical church, and I did visit them, another invitation was to a Methodist chapel, very kind, and also a Baptist church, who treated me terribly when they heard from the church of england.

I was also kindly invited to, and helped by, the Catholics in Jersey, who not only helped to strengthen my failing faith, but inspired me to later renounce the Church of England and become a Catholic.

I don't really want to remember any more, the way I was slandered round the churches in Jersey is inexcusible, it is a whole Island of churches completely forgetting Jesus' teachings and example, and to actually repeat that slander back to me and attack me in public, there are some very shameless and soulless people in Jersey (and the Diocese of Winchester).