Dear Bishop Dakin,
If you put down the phone when I ask for justice and a voice, I will write and I will write my letters for the general public to view, as I have been doing for three years now.
This is an imperfect letter, written during my assignment time and wasting precious and valuable time. I am autistic, not insane.
This morning I woke up from another night of nightmares and flashbacks and woke as usual seeing no point in life because of the level to which you have branded me.
I phoned your office and as usual they put the phone down on me. I gather that they don't put the phone down on paedophiles and paedophile protectors who you have supported and kept in church positions in Jersey? No, of course they don't, in the same way that you excluded me from your whitewash reports about my case and allowed those peadophile protectors in Church positions in Jersey to openly attack and defame me and rewrite my story to vilify me. Although that started when I lived in Jersey with Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts aiding this very same behaviour. And because it continues exactly the same, it is obvious that there has been no improvement in safeguarding in the Church of England. The church in Jersey employs a paedophile protector as lay chair, and the Bishop desparately sings to the press about how safe that exclusive and unsafe deanery is.
As yet you haven't take my statement about the Lihous, Warrens and Honours and Montagues, you haven't looked at how they liased with the Dean and his wife to clear the two abusers and brand me, you haven't even looked at the incident where the Dean openly attacked me over this, and Jane Fisher followed that up by refusing to record it and instead supporting the Dean in lying about it, it remains incredible that the Korris rubbish was founded on Fisher's claims against the Dean, when there is evidence that she aided him in destroying me. And While I remain silenced on these serious misconducts and Godless and evil and deceitful actions, I suffer. So why did you claim that your public attack on me was about safeguarding?!
And what report tells about the impact on me of being regressed to childhood by my abuser and the impact on me of having to deal with the police punishment of me whilst still regressed, and the psychological and emotional impact of the abuse there on top of the severe emotional harm to me by the Lihous and Montagues previously, on top of my childhood as well?
No report even tells of the regression of me to childhood, while Jan Korris brown-nosed the police for Jane Fisher, her friend and colleague.
And also what report tells of paradoxes like Jane Fisher having me attacked by Tim Sledge (one example) claiming I had 'caused the Montagues trouble' while the Korris report makes vague references to things being forgiven and concluded, if she was talking about the Montagues, and if she wasn't, where is the investigation into that? And where is my side of things? How is Juliet Montague's actions in taking me home to a husband who destroyed his own daughter and proceeded to do the same to me 'me causing trouble?' And have you asked Mr Montague if the orgasms he got from abusing me were really trouble? And his temper towards me and others was me causing trouble, when I was extremely vulnerable and have been damaged for life by it?
When is there to be an investigation not only into what has happened to me, but also into the number of serious misconducts by church officials? There is something very wrong with destroying someone, leaving them homeless and going on destroying them relentlessly.
So how can any report also tell of the yacht club child incident to do with my other abuser and thus raise concerns that he is possibly a paedophile? Well, no report does, because despite your massive and ludicrous attack on me in the international press, my story is not told at all, only the diocese and police's story is told, and the diocese and police liased to destroy me, while my abuser remains, to this day, upheld and esteemed in the church, bidding for another churchwarden position with the support of his esteemed friends who wrote the Steel report and also taking visiting lone church women home, such is the contempt of the church for what happened to me, and he is unrepentant because you and jane Fisher have given him the assurance that I was the bad person, not him, that I am worse than a paedophile.
And certainly that is the vein in which the church has run since I reported the abuse. You had me recorded in the JEP in 2010 as a criminal while my abuser and his friend the Dean triumphed, and when you launched the attack on me three years ago, everyone looked the article up and told me about it!
You illegally liased with Stuart Gull, Jersey Police's version of Paul Butler, press stuntman and cover up expert, you used Gull to further defame me and allow Steel and Johnstone illegal access to my inaccurate police records.
Gull told the public that the churchwarden had no case to answer, after I reacted in extreme distress to being contacted by the police and told them to go to hell, well if you consider that you were hitting me on all sides, violating me through Julie Wallman, lying about me in the press, illegally referring me to the NSPCC, how did you think I would react to your exercise in clearing the abuser?!
Also, when are you going to investigate that as well as the only police action against me being perpetrated by the unforgiving church who would rather destroy an abuse victim and protect her abusers than anything, the police action was unbalanced with the police refusing to stop Fisher and the Scott-Joynts from provoking me, and refusing to protect me and making my distress out to be madness, every time they locked me in and left me damaged for life, they didn't bail me so that I could produce evidence of my side of things.
For example, communication between me and the diocese was TWO WAY, and JANE FISHER was provoking me, she also claimed that she and the Bishop, having slandered me all round winchester and shattered my long term friendships and relationships there, leaving me alienated, intended to help to house me.
Horrifying, they didn't have my consent, they violated my access to any help with their defamation and illegal liasons with authorities and along with the police brutality and detentions left me long-term homeless and on the run. Have you even recorded the deception by Jane Fisher and Juli Wills that enabled Fisher to distort things to the court of law later on?
Do you recall that I was imprisoned and thus unable to provide evidence to defend myself against the lies by Fisher and Scott-Joynt? Do you understand that I suffer psychological hell day and night as a result, left voiceless and destroyed for these people who would not stop harassing me.
Can you imagine the psychological damage of that and then you coming after me and violating me all over again?
You know that next time you try to have me battered and locked up, ( which my life is on hold waiting for, and it is like being in a Nazi concentration camp), they can't really go on battering me and locking me up without my evidence being heard, and these letters are part of my evidence.
If there is a God, I won't die without being heard, and although you killed Bob Hill by leaving him to fight you for me to be heard when he was too old and should have been retired, I want to be heard before I die, and every minute that you leave me voiceless and horrifically psychologically injured and living in fear, you are showing that you don't believe in God, you are in it for the free house and the money, to be honest I don't know why you Bishops even pretend any more.
I wish Bob had had the sense to hear me and not base his argument on ther Korris rubbish, because the Korris rubbish is the opinion of one silly, shallow church woman who didn't seem to understand that what she was doing was a multiple criminal offence, and you haven't had her battered and locked up for it.
The re-use of the Korris report by press and the Jersey bloggers has scarred me for life, there isn't any way of recovering from people publishing lies like that as if it was fact.
As you will know from the articles sent to you, Philip Bailhache, the Chair of the Jersey synod, has aided paedophiles in escaping justice and continuing to abuse, and has no remorse or conscience regarding this matter and instead thinks he can publicly attack me, while you stand by and let him.
So tell me again how your public attack on me and aiding these people in vilifying me is to do with safeguarding?
For three years I have suffered being constantly vilified and living in fear and my health has suffered, my health is still suffering. You have treated me with utter contempt throughout these three years and your pretences of care for my welfare while implying to the general public that the Dean is innocent and that the Steel report would harm me, was utterly disgusting. You failed to tell the general public that Steel was conflicted and you also failed to include me in any report, or annul the Steel report when you were shown with evidence that Steel was conflicted.
You also failed to apologize for your illegal harassment of me and perversion of the course of justice by releasing the Korris report not only to the general public but also to the police.
You basically had a report by a member of your church labelled as independent and excluded me from it and released it to the police and mislead them, although they had worked closely with Fisher and the Scott-Joynts to destroy me while ignoring my request to be protected from the illegal interferences of these persons.
You claimed to a court of law that Korris had tried to contact me, and that was a lie, there would have been evidence of that, and why exactly would you illegally authorise a member of the church to violate my privacy by contacting me after you branded me for life for contacting the church and fighting to be heard and to be freed from the grip of Fisher and Scott-Joynt's illegal violations of me after (and before) they illegally liased with police and services who illegally worked with them in response, to brand me and interfere in my life?
What is the end result of all this rape-violation of me? Well for me it is that every day and every night I suffer flashbacks to the rape-violations and being de-humanized and left voiceless to these illegal actions by people with their own agendas, it has damaged my soul in a way that no therapy and no amount of time will ever heal.
But if Korris had tried to contact me and failed, why exactly did you release that unbalanced report to the public and why did you not wait until AFTER you had had me violated and sickened and left in collapse by your abuse of power in illegally having me traced by the police that you had previously used to destroy me and brand me in a way that makes every day of the rest of my life worthless and anguished. Why didn't you use your attacking police to tell me you wanted to do this report and get my views? You blatant and wicked liar!
And why did you then, having had me traced, ignore me and my concerns and proceed with the conflicted Steel report and allow the Jersey Deanery and their friend, colleague and supporter Dame Heather Steel to publicly destroy me while you were too busy lying to the press to ensure that I was protected from this harm and that my side of things was heard too?
Was it good safeguarding? You claimed that this was all about safeguarding!
So, you and Jane Fisher made the foundation of the Korris rubbish to be about me being insane, the excuse that Jane Fisher and the Scott-Joynts and their police has cooked up to cover my distress and excuse themselves, and then you allowed me to be publicly attacked, even by people who didn't know me, such as Gavin Ashenden, Philip Bailhache, Teri Bond, you allowed me to be attacked not only in the Jersey press and media but internationally, and you also dragged in my estranged family, estranged from me as a result of the Church's destroyal of me.
And you had me publicly crucified, having tried to brand me as mentally ill. Let me ask you, is the Church really so draconian that they think mental illness is a punishable crime?
Or was that just pure evil on your part, to allow someone you have labelled mentally ill to be attacked in that way, because if so, it looks very strongly as if you were trying to force me to commit suicide. Do you think someone who is mentally ill can withstand what I have withstood? Do you think they should have to? Have you ever heard of the term 'safeguarding'?
And do you have any notion at all of what autism or trauma are, and what being publicly violated and branded and left outcast and cut off from help as a result of your actions has done and is doing to me?
As yet you have failed to annul the Korris report, why? You intended to release the Steel report and have apparently faced more than just MY legal action each time you have prepared to release it, but the leaks of the Steel report collectively suggest that it contradicts the Korris report. And that, combined with my formal request for anullment of the Korris report as a whitewash and an untruth to protect church and police, should have led to a public annulment and an apology before each preparation of release of the Steel whitewash.
Also, seeing as you attacked the Dean publicly before clearing him, you owe him an apology. I know very well that he isn't innocent, indeed you allowed him to gather his circle of lawyers and judges to defame and vilify me and make him out to be innocent. You are responsible because you publicly attacked him and me.
You cleared the Dean without investigation, having allowed Philip Bailhache and others to illegally access and use to their advantage, my inaccurate police records caused by the police and church destroying me for reporting my well-connected church officer abuser, you have never made any public condemnation of the people involved in that blatantly illegal activity, they are treated as Royalty in the Church while you have not only had me excluded from Church, you have slandered me worldwide and through all denominations internationally.
It was horrifying to see that organizations such as Huffington Post, Thinking Anglicans and even Premier Christian Radio took up the attack on me and spread the lies that Luther Pendragon wrote for you.
Horrifying, the damage to me is for life, and what has happened to my abuser and his dignitary friends? Treated like Royalty in Church and laughing as they did when you had me dragged from my home, deported, left homeless and still violated unremittingly despite being homeless and in shock.
Why? Do the Church of England really think this is safeguarding?!
Presumably yes, CofE safeguarding involves protecting dignitaries who behave corruptly and alienating abuse survivors and the vulnerable.
Have you reprimanded anyone at all for harming me over this matter? Well how could you when you don't know or care about my story and have done such wrong yourself? If you have millions to waste on publicly destroying me, please also find a million to investigate what has happened to me.
I am still waiting for you to arrange an independent investigation and annul the million pound Steel Whitewash.
I am waiting for you to apologize and I am waiting for you to state that I am safe in my home and community and that I do not need to live in fear of the press and police who you bought and influence with your status and money and the misguided 'Church' label that a few people still think means good and right.
If this matter was about safeguarding, why did you publicly destroy someone voiceless, weak, homeless and already so horrifically damaged that withstanding the public attack was something that they just couldn't survive?
Why would you launch such a case into the press when a homeless and vulnerable adult's life and welfare was already at risk and would then be even more so? Do you really believe you are justified in what you have done to me because of what you have heard from the defendants and their police? No matter how much time goes by, this remains a raw and blatant injustice.
While you keep up the orders of Luther-Pendragon to stay silent, you leave me suffering.
I have asked you for copies of the Steel report, from the original to the latest amendment, now please provide them. You told a court of law that you would, they concern me as they were written about my case with no input from me and you refused to stop the report when you were made aware with evidence that it was conflicted.
You left me waiting to be destroyed. Why would you do that to someone who you labelled as mentally ill to cover up the trauma and emotional distress suffered at the hands of your diocese and your clergy and your rogue abusive safeguarding director?
Would any of you respond well to having your name blackened wherever you went and your privacy violated constantly and unremittingly and illegally but with nowhere to turn to for redress because you are labelled as insane by the church for your distress?
I understand that the Safeguarding officer in question has moved to another position, along with the previous head of safeguarding, and one of several church members and clergy and officers who contact me about your church says that the strategy of Paul butler was to move males into the safeguarding positions in the Church because of the national child abuse inquiry, because males are better liars. Is that the case? I doubt that you need to worry about the UK child abuse inquiry as I have been told that the same dignitaries in Jersey who destroyed me have been allowed to intervene in the UK inquiry to keep Jersey looking clean so it is a whitewash after your own heart.
In any case, you are liable for Fisher's prolonged harm to me in order to cover up for the Church.
What happens to the voiceless vulnerable? Those who can't write when you leave them voiceless and vilified and defamed and branded and broken, what happens to them when you defame them internationally and leave them living as fugitives and put the phone down on them whilst allowing their aggressors meeting time and phone time and a voice and an opinion, especially in the press?
How many deaths occur as a result of the Church of England's desire to look good and pretend to safeguard?
How many of those deaths does Paul Butler use as press stunts? One recently, with the fake press claim that things are better in the CofE.
And how are you going to use my death, if you don't bring a conclusion to this sustained damage to me? Huge press stunts and lies about my mental health with the help of your police?
Can you really not see a problem with spending a million pounds and more on reports and investigations which are prejudiced and unbalanced and put a vulnerable person's welfare and life at risk, and you try to justify it through the vilification of that vulnerable by the defendants, when you hand the reports over to the defendants? No wonder Luther-Pendragon advise you to stay silent and put the phone down on the vulnerable adult who you are cruelly and unjustly leaving suffering!
The fact that you need to hide behind a Godless firm like Luther-Pendragon, who's role is to mislead and protect you, shows that you are very dishonest and that you have no right to call or consider your position to be anything whatsoever to do with Jesus or God, and in that vein, you are invalid and are taking a lot of money and a free home when your role is null and void. You are one of the things your church have tried to vilify me with because my vulnerability allowed me to keep being taken over by church people, you are a sponger who is living off what you are not entitled to because your actions against me invalidate you.
I understand that you will fail to have the courtesy to respond to this, I am used to that, you respond only to Luther-Pendragon and the powerful Jersey clique of lawyer-clergy-laity-judiciary-freemasons, nothing new there, but you can't go on calling yourself a Bishop if you won't conclude or take responsibility for your mess. Mark Hedley worked very hard to protect you and threaten me, but again, that only shows what the Church of England is and how much the government or outside agencies need to intervene and independently audit the Church and expose the corruption and deceit and blatant abuses of power with church police, judges, lawyers and other agencies which is what the core of the Church of England is about.
My Clergy Discipline complaint remains, and it remains valid, it needs to be dealt with by an outside agency who can see, where Mark Hedley fails to, that your attack on me and your deceit and dishonesty and the damage you have done are not only not appropriate, but also illegal. And the reason that Hedley can't see that is because no wealthy middle class church dignitary does understand poverty and vulnerability, they just judge the poor.
Jesus lived among the poor and had nothing, the Church of England lord it over the poor and destroy them and justify themselves by their status.
On a final note, and this letter will add to the many now available, for which you show no shame and have no answer, but, I remind you every year that if you intend to crucify me this Good Friday, make sure I have the donkey to ride up to the Cathedral on and spoil your pomp and show. You missed the boat the other year when I was 33 and had spent three years travelling homeless due to your Church and jeered by your pharisees.
I am sure you weren't a disappointment to Scott-Joynt, he wanted a bigot like himself who made a show about Africa, but you aren't a Bishop and you do need to step down, what you have done would lead to instant dismissal and legal action in a normal company, but the Church still get away with behaving as they like at the moment, until someone intervenes and changes the law of the land to include the Church and it's members as punishable for crime and protection of criminals.
Your statement to the world is that abuse is an approved practice in the Church and will be upheld and protected and you are happy to horrifically destroy anyone who reports it and you have a free reign and leave from the police and local authorities to do so.
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