Tuesday, 17 March 2015

What really happened in October and November 2013

References:

Julie Wallman, former Jersey resident, grew up in the care system and allegedly abused by her alcoholic Mother, became a very small time member of the film industry and tells me she goes without money in between films.
Bob Hill, former MET police officer and Jersey deputy. Offered to act as my mediator.

http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/bob-hill-honest-man.html#.VP6qf3ysW5w

I re-posted this yesterday:  http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/bob-hill-julie-wallman-and-nspccletter.html#.VP6q4XysW5w

I was homeless and the weather was bad.
I did what I sometimes did, I had a night in a bed and breakfast,
I was shattered by nine months or so of being destroyed by the Diocese of Winchester and the Deanery of Jersey, publicly, in the press.

I was in the bed and breakfast when Bob Hill started going on about this woman who wanted to help me. He told me that she was someone he trusted, which at the time still meant something even though Bob was messing my case up and harming me. Bob made me write letters to people I didn't want to write to, and pretend they were from me, and he called me a liar over something I told him truthfully, leaving me shattered, and never apologized, and he simply repeated all the slander by the Jersey Deanery back to me, because Bob had never met with me and taken my story, so he had no answer when I was slandered to him. Not a very good mediator at all, but nonetheless, I still trusted him, so when he put me in touch with Julie Wallman, I was still vulnerable and gullible enough to believe in both of them, and it turned out to be at massive cost to me.
Julie often appeared as a commentor on Bob's blogs and other blogs, complimenting me and signing hername as 'J x'.

Julie asked me if I would come to London to meet her, and because I had faith in Bob Hill and was quite happy to be helped, I agreed, and said I would go the next day, after all, I had nowhere else to be.
I travelled to London and met Julie. She was supposed to be a film director and writer, although I had no interest in that as I am not very interested in the film industry. I watch a few films but I am not a stars in their eyes wannabe film person. I remember among the Lihou's endless boasts, how they said that the father of one of their grandaughter's school-mates was a film director so their grandaughter might be in a film!
I suppose the reason I didn't simply walk out on the Lihous and their boasts early on is the same reason that I had faith in Bob and Julie, I am gullible, to the point of being an idiot and letting myself be damaged.

Julie was a complete puzzle, she claimed to have been homeless in London, but didn't even know where the National Gallery was. Any smart homeless person knows that.
We went to the National Gallery, because you can sit in there and talk. So we did.

Julie told me she had left home aged 16 to stop herself from violence to her alcoholic mother. She claimed to have fled to London with just £100 or was it £200 in her back pocket. I like the fact she uses expressions like back pocket. No-one with any sense keeps money in their back pocket, especially not in London.

Unfortunately later on, other versions of her story came out, such as that she started her career at Channel TV, not homeless on the streets of London.
I still have her version of her story, where she was homeless in London and starving in a little flat and working unpaid as a runner and relying on her neighbour to feed her.

The reason I am vulnerable is that I still fall for stories that people make up, I don't know any better.
Julie told me that she had been raped when she was homeless. And was then picked up by the police.
Again, I know this is unlikely, and I doubt she told the care inquiry that story. Seemingly she did it to scare me about my life on the streets, but it didn't.

She told me a story about a landlord of hers grabbing her by the throat while she was in the bath.
Horror stories, and I, having been on the streets, have heard so many horror stories but know not to believe them from addicts and alcoholics, but a friend of Bob Hill's, who was a film director, was a different story.
Unfortunately Julie was also one of Bob Hill's 'care inquiry witnesses, that he was grooming to give evidence, as far as I know.
He tried to get me to give evidence, despite the fact I was never in the Jersey care system, so I got a rebuff from the inquiry to add to my confusion and distress, but back to the meeting with Julie in London.

Julie said she had something to tell me, and she weirdly said she had to close her eyes in order to tell me. So she did. This always makes me think she was lying. Along with the fact that she told me not to tell anyone things she said to me.

She told me that she had been close to Philip Bailhache, who had seen himself as her mentor and was proud of her for being from Jersey and being in the film industry and doing a film called 'The crooked mile' or 'The straight mile' or something.

Julie told me that Philip Bailhache had been her good friend and mentor until her boyfriend was arrested, Philip was to be the judge of the case and she phoned him and asked him not to but he proceeded and put her boyfriend in prison.
Now, I do not know how much of that is true. Yes she has a boyfriend, and he helps her to run 'Greeneye Productions' Her kind of film company based in St. Helier, while Julie lives in North London, but I do not know if she simply made the rest up to make me believe she was genuine about helping me.

Philip Bailhache had been slandering and libelling me publicly in the press and working hard to clear the Dean, leaving me deeply traumatized.

Anyway, Julie said she wanted to help house me, and to be honest, although being indoors caused me traumatic stress, even in the bed and breakfast, I was ok with being housed at this point, because from the end of 2012, I had started to recover enough to consider living indoors.
The only problem being, I couldn't house myself from the streets, or thought I couldn't, and there was no way I could get through any local authority process, especially not with the terrible record and slander of me by the Diocese of Winchester, which is what made me homeless and kept me homeless, along with the trauma.

So I went along with what Julie told me in London, just as I went along with the churchwarden's plan in Jersey. I am an idiot, and I am suffering for it.

Julie told me that she wanted to phone the bed and breakfast and arrange for them to keep me for two or three weeks if they had the room, she said she would pay, and she would tell them that I was her cousin and I needed somewhere quiet to stay while I did my thesis. Well I am never happy with blatant lies, it was reminiscent of Jersey police telling me to lie, but I trusted Julie as she was Bob Hill's friend, apparently.
Julie told me she had to go and make the phonecall in private, and of course I said that was fine, even though it did worry me.
And it should have.

Julie claims that while I was in London with her, I agreed to her contacting the Church of England, well Bob Hill claims that Julie claims this, but Bob Hill never checked with me, and no, I never gave Julie consent.

Julie told me that while I was in the bed and breakfast I was to look for somehwere to live, anywhere I liked, and she would pay a certain amount towards the rent, per week. Again I was gullible and agreed, after telling her I didn't feel good about this, and I didn't want to be a burden or a debt, after my bad experiences in the church where people had taken me in and then taken pound after pound of flesh in vilifying me, both harming me and invalidating the potential good that they had done.
Julie assured me that she was in a position to help me, and I believed her, she was a film producer and director and other things. And although I don't want to live off anyone, I was weakened by the combined attacks on me by the diocese and deanery, and the chest infections that I had had, and I hoped that I could rely on Julie because Bob had asked me to let Julie help me, and Bob was my mediator so I trusted him. Bob seemed to think that Julie was in a position to help me.

So Julie arranged for me to stay on in the bed and breakfast, and I had stayed there a night or two at a time for years, and never had a problem, but their attitude to me changed after Julie's phone call. The man was downright nasty. Of course I should have known something was wrong. People turn nasty when Jane Fisher gets involved, and slanders me, and has me driven and vilified, while pretending to care about me.

Bob and Julie were now working closely together, Bob no longer told me to speak to him or pass information to him, he told me to speak to him and Julie and to pass information to him and Julie. This was without my consent, I did not agree to close liason and again, it smacked of the Diocese and church of England, their way of working, Jane Fisher's violating way of working, and increasingly I became unsettled and concerned.
I voiced concerns to Bob repeatedly, and he ignored them.
I was yet again voiceless and powerless as I had been at the hands of the Diocese.
Bob seemed to think he could use the fact that I had agreed to stay in the bed and breakfast to get me to stop asking questions, and he told me to 'go and read the film scripts that Julie gave me' as if it was an important task to do with my case. The scripts were crap, they were like Julie's copy of other people's work. I looked them up, and they were, and I looked Julie up and I found only real film industry people making jokes about her like 'She is compact and therefore economical to travel' or something.

I was in the local library where I spent most of my days, when Julie rang me and told me that she couldn't afford to pay for accommodation for me and she wanted to phone Bishop John Gladwin.
I was furious, Bob Hill knew very well that John Gladwin had let me and him down, and as Julie knew who Gladwin was, she must have known very well that I was angry with him.
I furiously told Julie that she was not on any account to do so, and if I felt threatened, I would walk out of the bed and breakfast.

Bob sided with Julie, basically he had stopped being my mediator and now worked with Julie, he was no friend of mine, he tried to tell me off for being upset and it developed into a massive row.

And the row went on, because I was utterly shocked that Julie had threatened to betray me to the church of england as she had, and that Bob had backed her up against me.
Can you imagine my disgust and horror at the thought that I had agreed in good faith for Julie to help house me, and had been let down and duped and she thought that I would let my destroyers, who I had been on the run from for so long, actually house me? And know where I was!!! After the police beatings and being imprisoned and homeless and driven from my home city and damned, Julie seemed to think I would allow the same people to house me, thus invalidating my side of things and my complaint against them, and Bob backing Julie up in this! Utter hell.

It is difficult to write about November 2013, all the elements of the nightmare that still haunts me.

So, the row went on, and Julie was due to fly to Jersey, to see her boyfriend, Justin, who helps her to run Greeneye productions, this Justin is presumably the same boyfriend who Philip Bailhache put away, for fraud, I think Julie said.
But Julie couldn't fly that day because of fog.

That night, I was awake most of the night, because I remained terrified of indoors and usually didn't sleep until early morning. Julie sent a weird drunken email through, in the early hours.
I replied, as I was concerned, and we talked. She was obviously drunk, and that worried me all the more, this whole situation was unstable, I had taken her at face value, agreed to the bed and breakfast and now she had said she couldn't afford to house me and wanted to set the church of england on me, I was left with my faith in her and Bob damaged and no reassurance from either of them. The fact that she could get drunk and send random emails didn't help, and now I was concerned for the fact that she could not afford to help me, had decieved me and winter was setting in and my time indoors was going to affect me returning to the streets as the temperature dropped, a potentially dangerous situation, made worse by the recent chest infection.

Julie flew to Jersey the next day.

I remained confused and anxious as nothing had been explained or reassured, and I was left hanging, feeling like I had been screwed over to believe that someone who could not help me could. It felt dreadful and alongside the Diocese and Deanery war, it left me ill.

The Diocese and Deanery war continued, with more slander of me and then Jersey police muscling in to traumatize me.

This whole episode was so traumatic that I started writing this blog last week and had to stop. I still cannot believe the depths to which Bob and Julie and the Church harmed me.
When I try to think of what happened, I suffer traumatic shock, confusion and flashbacks, because after all the uncontrolled smearing of me in the press and media, after all the strangers maligning and condemning me, I was weakened and ill, and I was still terrified at night indoors and trusted in Bob and Julie, now that they were working together without consulting me, in a grim church of england style that should have alerted me to something being wrong, especially after Julie threatened to contact John Gladwin.

Both Bob and Julie were well aware of my disgust an distress about the Church of England and Bob was supposedly on my side and did a number of blogs condemning the Church of England over the way they handed my case, so what happened was and is a shocking betrayal, that has never been resolved or apologized for.
Although it remains that Bob had called me a liar over something I did not lie about, and left me in collapse with no apology, and he and Julie had presumably liased to arrange to contact Gladwin when Julie phoned me and asked me if she could. Even though Gladwin had already let me down by meeting me only for a token meeting when Bob had put him under pressure to, by writing a letter as if it was from me and making me copy the letter out and send it. He did this with several things, including causing me traumatic stress by making me contact one of the advocates who had blatantly failed me when I was in Jersey.

So, anyway, when I had got deeply distressed at Julie telling me she couldn't afford to help me, when she had duped me to believe that she could, and then asking if she could contact John Gladwin, that should have been the end of the matter except that I had been duped into staying in a bed and breakfast that Julie apparently could not afford, and seeking accommodation on the proviso that Julie had said she was willing and able to help support me as I settled in. I was left embarrassed and shocked by her revelation that she couldn't help me and would even consider setting the church on me and putting my location and new identity at risk from my destroyers, the Church of England, and more shocked that Bob Hill would uphold her and snap at me for reacting to this.

Jane Fisher and her destroying church were triumphing again, violating me, raping my life and dignity and freedom and privacy yet again, and this time my trusted and respected mediator was helping them, and I cannot begin to tell you the horror of that.

Those of you who think I am overreacting have no idea what Jane Fisher did to me, and the Korris report doesn't tell you, because it covers up for her.

So I was being forcibly parented by Bob and Julie, and it wasn't fun, it made me angry that I had been undermined, Bob knew damn well how important it was to me to keep myself safe and hidden from the church after what they and their pet police had done to me, although he didn't believe me because he treated the Korris rubbish as his Bible and would not listen to me or interview me, and yet he and Julie wanted Gladwin to help house me, AFTER he had let us down and made promise of more meetings, which simply never happened, and Bob thought I would actually let a member of the Church of England know where I was and play a part in me being housed, despite my homelessness being due to the trauma of the church taking my home and work and life from me and leaving me homeless and destroyed, and STILL hounding me and launching police attacks on me. I still do not understand why Bob and Julie completely ignored my feelings and rights and overrode them, presumably duped by the church as most people are, most people who I beg to protect me from the church, people who hear the church's propaganda and not the cries of victims who are silenced.

Anyway, it was now mid-November, I had been in the bed and breakfast for a few weeks but felt very bad about it, seeing as Julie had now made it clear that she had lied to me and could not afford to keep me there, so I was left feeling deeply embarrassed and at a loss. I was not well, the stress of the whole matter was now leaving me weak and shaky and I was having temporary loss of feeling down one side, I knew that this was not a stroke, it is called conversion disorder, and is not a usual part of my psychological problems, and it occured only for a few months in 2013, never before and never since. So I had no choice but to trust Bob when he told me to remain at the bed and breakfast.

But I was angry with Bob and Julie for duping me, and had no idea what to do now I had been offered help with housing and let down and threatened with church interference through Gladwin, I am sure you can imagine, if you have been damaged and let down by an organization, for example if you have been screwed over by RBS or HSBC, and someone you trust says to you, 'Oh, sorry to let you down, I knew I couldn't help you after all,  but I will help you by handing you over to a lovely chap at RBS or HSBC or whatever...' You would be furious at their callousness and betrayal and deceit.
And so I was furious with Bob and Julie.

Bob and Julie also caused me maximum distress by claiming that they were liasing to get me to see a solicitor and journalist, and then all Bob did was churn out some rubbish from the Korris report as a 'statment' while Julie slated me for my anger and distress.
It was all made up, and of course, by now, Julie was already in touch with the Church of England, so of course they didn't want her helping me with solicitors and journalists, oh no. And again, as I had many times, I knew there was something wrong when Julie said that she wanted to forget the solicitor and journalist and only concentrate on housing me ( as instructed by the CofE of course).
THis whole episode caused me trauma and shock, and as usual, BOb was self-righteous and didn't apologize for his dreadful misleading statement. And I certainly felt alarm bells at Julie's statement that she only wanted to house me.
Don't be fooled that the Church wanted to house me because they cared, it is only about liability for making me homeless, and it wasn't the first time they had entrappc ed me and tried to force me indoors, and simply raped me and left me seriously harmed and used that against me.

Julie was due to fly to Jersey to stay with her boyfriend, Justin, who helps her to run her 'film agency' Greeneye Productions, which is based in St. Helier, presumably Justin is the one that Philip Bailhache put in prison for fraud as well.
Anyway. Julie's plane was cancelled due to fog, and she was up all night and sending emails to me in the early hours that showed her to be drunk, and I was concerned, she seemed vulnerable, lost and completely pissed. So I talked to her.

I wondered, and I did ask Bob, if he was aware that good safeguarding boundaries meant that a vulnerable and unhealed survivor like Julie should not be working with someone like me, certainly not on the level of transforming my life when she couldn't afford to. At very least, Julie should not have offered to help me when she couldn't, at the other end of the scale, Julie knew damn well she couldn't help me, and she or she and Bob, had intended all along to violate me with the church, and presumably some malicious person in the church was playing Bob and Julie to harm me in the way that they did.

Anyway, Julie flew to Jersey the day after the drunken emails and skypes. And was there with her boyfriend, and then at Bob and Anne Hill's house.
She then let another incongruency slip, she said to me 'Oh Bob and Ann are doing so much for you, and they say they love it, they say 'we are doing all this for HG'' Now Why would Bob and Ann call me HG to Julie? When they all know my name? HG is the label that Korris and the Church of England gave me! Again it sounded worrying to me, but again I trusted Bob and thus allowed him to keep liasing with Julie.

I can confim here and now that I never at any point gave Bob or Julie permission to liase with the Church of England, and as the Church of England were effectively defendants in a dispute and Bob was supposed to be acting for me, so Bob definitely knew better than to ever liase with or make arrangements with, the church behind my back, and yet he did, and thus disqualified himself as my mediator, and destroyed me and my trust for him. Why, apart from Jane Fisher and the Diocese being masters of duplicity and deception, Bob actually handed me over to be crucified, I will never know, but he did, and he did it knowing my feelings, knowing my vulnerability, and knowing what my reaction would be.

Bob later feebly claimed that Julie got my permission in London, she did not, nor did Bob check with me, and if my permission had been given, why did they go behind my back? And why when I reacted, did Bob slate me, call me a liar and still try to push their agreement with the Diocese onto me?

It all broke around the third week in November. Horrifyingly. And I saw my whole world and everything I saw as safety taken from me as violently as rape -which is the trademark of Jane Fisher and the Diocese, I have been decieved, tricked, trapped, humiliated and violated enough times by Jane Fisher to say that this rape of me in pretence of care is her trademark.

I was in the bed and breakfast, I was upset at their changed attitude to me as I had stayed occasional nights for years, and they had always been ok, although the younger guy was a bit of a bastard, but now it was not a friendly place and I was still terrified to sleep at night as a result of Jane Fisher and her police's years of harm to me.

Then in the news in Jersey, the Bishop of Winchester was showing off that he had 'appointed' a police officer to liase with Dame Steel, the conflicted judge, and although the Bishop had no right to appoint anyone and it was blatantly illegal for him to appoint anyone to access my inaccurate records by police who had acted heniously,  for a conflicted judge who I had objected to, and both Bob and I objected, our objections were ignored.
And it turned out that the Bishop had just co-incidentally 'appointed' the same man who was advising Jersey's sham safeguarding board that the police had done nothing wrong to me, for another sham whitewash serious case review arranged presumably by Jane Fisher and therefore only a whitewash, and so the safeguarding board had rubbished me, again, as with the Steel report, what actually happened to me, my account, was omitted in favour of the wrongdoers who arranged and wrote the reports.

Does anyone still think it was OK for Bob and Julie to deceive me and hand me over to the same church who did the original damage and then added to it with all this

So in the Jersey press and media, the Bishop was showing off about 'appointing' his cover up officer, and the press omitted the fact that this officer was also on the sham safeguarding board and had made up his mind and theirs, the Bishop refused to respond to the fact that I did not grant permission for anyone to view the inaccurate police records and cover-ups for police misconduct and brutality and Jane Fisher's illegal liasons with the police to destroy me and cover for the Diocese.

Again, what on earth did Bob think he was doing, handing me over to the very people who did and were doing all this damage? I can only assume, as I have said before, Bob is a bit gullible, and seems to have been willing to listen to and go along with any story but mine, especially reproducing the Korris rubbish as if it was fact.

The police then contacted me, thankfully the blogger commentors had told me that the police were claiming that they wanted to take the church back to court.
Apparently the police were claiming they were 'following new leads', basically Jane Fisher had been witholding evidence and perverting the course of justice and all of a sudden she and the church want the churchwarden prosecuted, after protecting him and destroying me before.

Well, why should I go along with duplicious and deceitful people who want my abuser prosecuted or cleared for their own ends. Has anyone even considered the likelihood that the church want him in court to clear him? Well, considering the lengths that Fisher went to protect him and other wrongdoers who supported him, including Key, who she acted as a witness for to get me prosecuted, and considering the lengths Fisher had gone to to destroy me, why exactly should I go through the trauma of making statements to a bent and nasty police force who had destroyed me? Just to meet the Church of England's requirements?! What Fisher has done to me is literally infinite times worse than what the Churchwarden did to me, literally, no joking.
And does anyone know in full what she has done to me? No. There are too many gullible idiots like Boatyboy criticizing me and upholding the Church's actions.

Jersey police brutalized me, jeered at me, imprisoned me, ruined me, for the churchwarden and Jane Fisher, and they fail all and every abuse survivor and prosecute in 2 out of 28 rape cases and blame the lack of victim support services for this. I have no idea why ANYONE, especially Bob Hill has any right to question or criticize my response to Jersey police contacting me, I told Jersey police to go to hell. I really do not care that people have responded by saying it is because I have no case against the Church warden, I am not here to go on and on being abused by the church of england, including being USED by them in a dud court case at a time when I was sick with trauma and shame at being smeared and slandered by the Jersey Deanery, with no attempt by the Diocese of Winchester to safeguard me from that harm!

And the Diocese of Winchester weren't warning me each new time that I was launched on by police, press and the Bishop of Winchester's duplicious reports in the press and illegal actions that I was helpless against.
So why did Bob, and Julie, seeing I was anguished, slate me for telling the police to get lost and proceed, in liason with the church, to destroy me.

It was pretty much at the same time as the police launched on me, that the Julie-Bob-Jane Fisher-NSPCC rape of me occured.

It started with Bishop Dakin doing his usual bullying act against me, this is where he sends me emails demanding that I read them and demanding that I 'get a friend to read them to me if I won't read them' This is just bullying, Dakin knows that since threatening me for begging the Diocese not to violate me, I did not, and do not read his emails, nor would I inflict his damaging lies on my friends. He knew that Bob Hill was my mediator but he always refused to email Bob, bypassed him and bullied me directly, because he is a coward and a dishonest coward and would not want someone like Bob to witness his bullying, he can't bully Bob, but he and Fisher certainly mislead Bob to seriously harm me.

Anyway, my usual response to the Bishop is 'Get lost, stuff your emails, you bully' or something along those lines.
But then the crisis hit with full force.

I got an email from John Cameron from the NSPCC, it was marked 'Winchester Diocese' and I knew that there was trouble. But I could not begin to imagine what.
So I didn't open Cameron's email then, in fact I didn't open it for months, I simply hovered the mouse over his email address, copied the email address and wrote him an email, cc the police, telling him that no-one was to harass me for the Diocese, and that he was to be aware of that.
It was some months later that I read the email and found that it was Jane Fisher herself, AFTER I HAD MADE YET ANOTHER FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST HER who, having destroyed and destroyed and destroyed, me, was still pretending to care about me, this time to the NSPCC.

Immediately after receiving this email from the NSPCC and emailing them and the police. I contacted Bob and Julie. Telling them that the Bishop was threatening me and the NSPCC had contacted me.

Julie was in Jersey, and it became obvious that something was very wrong when she responded by saying she was cutting short her break in Jersey and flying home to 'sort things out'.
I kept asking her what she was suddenly flying home to sort out, and why, but she wouldn't answer.

Bob was out for his Saturday Afternoon bike ride, he is a creature of habit, I'm sure he is autistic, but never mind. I was completely panicked by the Bishop threatening and bullying me, and more so by the NSPCC, even though I knew there were no children involved. I was not being cruel to a child but I would not put it past the church of england to actually accuse me, because the depth that they will stoop to is incredible, so basically I was wondering what exactly the Church were about to do to destroy me further.

I soon found out when Bob got back from his bike ride.

Bob skyped me, skype is pretty useless at the best of times and I struggle to use it, but he skyped me, as he and were in the habit of doing, but he was talking to me on skype messenger. He told me not to panic and Julie would sort things out.
'Julie will sort WHAT OUT?!'

'Oh, what she was arranging with Christine Daly'.

Those of you who don't know, Christine Daly is a creep who hangs out with Bishop John Gladwin and uses her 'social work expertise' to validate the Church of England's wrongdoing, and who has lied to me and messed me about. Basically she is part of the Church cover up team - Gladwin, Daly, Butler-Sloss, etc, you know what I mean?

Having been let down by Gladwin and Daly, and with Julie and Bob fully aware of my reaction to Julie letting me down and threatening to contact Gladwin, Julie and Bob deceived and abused me by apparently contacting Daly.

Now that Bob had broken this shocking, sickening news, that he and Julie had liased with the Church of England about me behind my back, and presumably thus caused me to shockingly be launched on by Dakin and the NSPCC. Bob simply cut off skype and left me suffering such severe anguish that I very nearly committed suicide.
What Bob and Julie did is illegal and breaks all safeguarding boundaries, and it is no excuse that they don't know about safeguarding, Bob working with me and with care abuse victims and having been a police officer and a deputy in the states of Jersey, does know enough to know that what he and Julie did was heniously wrong, but instead of apologizing, he has only ever slated me, walked away from me as a person and continued to use my case as political ammunition without my consent, and despite evidenced pleas to him to stop.
He also fails to recognize that using one vulnerable adult to abuse another on behalf of the defendants in an abuse and misconduct case is henious.

The unrelenting trauma of that week continued with Dakin making silly and horrible announcements in the press with the assistance of Clueless-Pendragon, his 'PR firm'. Tell me, did Jesus need a PR firm?
The Bishop called me 'lost last and least' reminding the world thus that he has never read a Bible and doesn't know what Christianity is, he is simply in it for the money, the glory and the palace. Remind me to send him a Bible. I can't afford to send a Bible to all the non-Christians in the CofE who have harmed me, but maybe I could team up with the Gideons or another group.

Anyway. The Bishop somehow cleared the Dean, claimed that the Steel report could not be released because of a legal bid - And this does need to be investigated, because how could there have been a legal bid against a report that had not been released?
Basically, the Bishop continued the process of defaming and harming me because he had not investigated my complaints but instead had allowed an engineered report by a conflicted member of the Dean's supporters to replace an investigation into what happened to me that included me.
And again, what the hell did Bob Hill and Julie Wallman think they were doing, handing me over to this Bishop and his diocese behind my back, apparently Julie and Bob thought that these people, decietful and destroying me, could also actually house me, as if they could house me somewhere I felt safe, when they were the very reason I didn't feel safe indoors, that being indoors left me sick and traumatized.

It got worse though.

Bob kept demanding that I sent him the email that the Diocese of Winchester sent me, as usual bulldozing me and ignoring my protests that I do not open or read emails from the Bishop and Diocese of Winchester. So he applied to the Diocese for the email.
The diocese aparently sent him the email, doctored or not.

Bob then told me that Julie had approached a church of england in London - without my permission - Bob claimed that Julie had said she had my permission - but I am sure that Bob would have checked with me if he really believed that, because he knows damn well what my feelings about the church are, he also knows my need for privacy and that it is right and courteous to ask someone before you take action. He and Julie would have been telling me what was going if they had been being honest, and instead I found out as a massive shock and crisis, for which neither apologized, but Bob simply slated me.

So there I was, being told that I had been handed over to my destroyers. I now did not know if they had been told where I was, and because the  Diocese of Winchester had a pattern of harming me, then having me brutalized and imprisoned by police for my reactions, I started expecting the police to turn up at the bed and breakfast. I tried to work out if I could jump from the window to escape, and I stopped sleeping and eating, my worst fears realised.

I would like you to pause and imagine again, what would happen if someone you really hated, who had really hurt you, was allowed to keep on and on and on breaching your human rights, coming round telling you how to live, where to live, and giving their opinion of you to others behind your back. You would consider that to be harassment, stalking, wouldn't you? Bob Hill wouldn't like it happening to him, nor would Julie Wallman or Jane Fisher, they would call the police. I, as a vulnerable adult, have the same rights as Jane and Bob and Julie, but my rights have been constantly and severely overridden, and the police, influenced by Jane Fisher, have refused to stop Jane Fisher and the Diocese of Winchester from stalking and harassing me, while I am left knowing that if I react to the stalking and harassment, the police WILL ASSIST THE DIOCESE in hurting me further. Makes sense?

A note I will add in as I think about it.
The Bishop claimed in the press that 'He was praying that I would accept the help they were 'offering' Can you see why they can't investigate misconduct among their employees? Because they behave exactly the same. The Bishop trying to control me through prayers, just as St. Andrews and the Churchwarden used to try and control people through prayers. God, I need to send these people Bibles!

So, Bob Hill continued to explain to me that Julie had gone to this church official without my consent, despite the severe harm the church were doing to me, and had told them to do something. The something was that they contacted the Diocese of Winchester.
Apparently, again without my consent or knowledge, Bob and Julie then agreed to arranging a meeting with the Diocese, Bob claimed that they were 'going to tell me'.
When, Bob? After your illegal meeting with my destroyers?
But, presumably because Jane Fisher will go to any lengths to prevent me being heard regarding her illegal and vile actions against me, she prevented that from happening. And again, Bob Hill neither realised this nor took it into account.

So what happened was, a meeting went ahead without Bob, or Julie, or me. To shut things down, cover things up, and offer a pretence of help for the Bishop to put in his press release while at the same time absolving the wrongdoers in Jersey without a genuine or fair investigation that included me.

Bob didn't have anything to say about this, he was too busy liasing with his friend Mike Higgins to bait the conflicted Jersey Home Affairs Minister, who also happened to be a Church of ENgland reader and friend and upholder of my abuser, who had stated that it was a sad day when his friend, my abuser, had been sacked from his church previous to taking the churchwarden position in which he abused me.
So Bob and his friend Deputy Mike Higgins were busy baiting Ian LeMarquand, who's conflicts of interest are not named anywhere but my blog, and they were thus getting him to defame and vilify me in the States and local media in response, again not declaring his conflicts of interest. Just as a large number of other people who have vilified me and supported the Dean, Deanery and Churchwarden haven't.

Bob seemed to have absolutely no idea of the serious harm he was doing to me, as you will see from his email in the linked post.
And as a result of Julie's illegal liason with the Church, the Diocese of Winchester had been enabled to illegally launch on me in order to claim in the press that they had offered me help, at the same time as absolving the wrongdoers. Can anyone be as warped, well, can anyone apart from Jane Fisher, be as warped as to think that illegally trying to force and refer help without someone's consent at the same time as discrediting them publicly by clearing the people who have wronged them, without including the person illegally referred for help, is anything to do with helping someone or doing the right thing?

And of course motormouth Boatyboy was adding insult to injury as usual by doing as he does and believing church propaganda and saying about me 'Well, they have offered her help, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink'
Boatyboy. You cannot violently force a horse's head underwater and whip it and expect it to drink, so shut the hell up.
Boatyboy comes out with classics such as 'Isn't it good that the Dean backs the release of the Steel report' , and he broadcast the Church Times slander of me as if it was a good thing, while I had a breakdown. Back to Boatyboy later, what he did after all this horrendous scenario in November 2013 is unbelievable.

Basically I was being hit on all sides, and with absolutely no-one on my side, and Bob Hill slating me and claiming I had made him and Julie ill. AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Utterly betrayed, deeply shocked and very ill and fearing for my life, well aware that if Jane Fisher now knew where I was because Julie and Bob simply had not given a damn about my life, rights, welfare, privacy or feelings, I knew that Jane Fisher would slander me to every church in the district, just as she did in Jersey and Winchester, while ironically protecting my abuser in Jersey and my abuser in Winchester. I didn't know what to do.
Believe me, things were desparate and I was by a railway line, and the temptation to commit suicide rather than go on being defamed in the press and media and in fear of Jane Fisher's police and the reality that she would go on and on and on and on and on and on and on as long as I lived, violating me, driving me from help, smearing me and branding me and re-branding me. Things were desparate.

So I wrote the best letter I have ever written and to be honest, I am proud of it, because I was very very ill but I wrote with complete clarity, one handed as I was paralysed on one side, and I wrote it despite the fact that I was shaking and being sick. This is the best letter I have ever written:

http://opnlttr.com/letter/1st-open-letter-bishop-winchester-0

This letter has remained constantly as best read letter on my blog.
It mentions Hampshire constabulary, and the fact was that I had contacted them constantly, begging for protection from the Diocese of Winchester after the Diocese illegally, nastily and sickeningly had me traced through Hampshire Constabulary. But as yet, as the Diocese go into their third year of this run of harassment against me, Hampshire Constabulary refuse to protect me from the Diocese of Winchester, they refuse to deal with the complaint about the violation of being illegally traced, and both the IPCC and HMIC refuse to address these matters either.

Anyway. As I said. I was very ill. The weather was terrible, and I was too ill to return to the Streets, the time at the bed and breakfast was coming to an end and Bob Hill was still stupidly, senselessly, trying to force me into the illegal arrangement that the Diocese of Winchester and NSPCC had made.
If you read the linked post, you will see that Bob Hill had been duped into thinking that the NSPCC would house me.
And my emails to the NSPCC show that is not the case. So what other deviousness and illegal action had been planned by the Diocese of Winchester and NSPCC, I do not know, what I do know is that it was and is a very very serious and criminal matter, because I consented to nothing, and these people, the diocese of winchester, were destroying me. Bob incredibly claims that I have won a victory in that the Diocese of Winchester will pay for my accommodation for the rest of my life.


  • Firstly: There is no victory in the people who have destroyed me and who I am on the run from being able to violate and harm me through someone I trusted.
  • Secondly, the Diocese of Winchester did not have my consent to house me or pay for my housing.
  • Thirdly, who would they be paying? The NSPCC don't offer accommodation.
  • Fourthly, they had disrupted my therapy, which I paid a lot for, while homeless and eating from bins, why were the diocese not offering money for my therapy or offering compensation? 
  • Basically, the Diocese were not going to pay for my accommodation, they were attempting, as far as I can see, to incarcerate me, using the NSPCC as a third party to avoid liability. 
  • Bob means well, but he was completely and utterly misguided in aiding the Diocese in Destroying me.
It is a cold and broken hallelujah, but despite the lasting damage, I smashed the lot of them. Bob, Julie, the evil Diocese of Winchester, the NSPCC, who I still have a formal complaint against them.
I smashed them all in the teeth, but the cost to me was huge.

I was ill, as I said. And the weather was bad.
I considered myself to be at severe risk from the Diocese and police.
I had been indoors for a few weeks and could not safely return to the streets direct from indoors, ill and in bad weather, I had been considerably weakened by trauma.
It was the Tuesday after the Saturday when all hell had broken loose, and I was due to leave the bed and breakfast on the Thursday, and I was terrified to be there, in case the police arrived. 

I got back to the Bed and Breakfast.

I switched the computer on.

There was a message.

I spent the next few hours trying to contact my adoptive mum, the phone signal was not good in the bed and breakfast and Mum is scatty about her phone at the best of times.
It was Tuesday, I needed an answer.

Eventually Mum answered, and said she was on her way over.

That day, my adoptive parents and someone else worked a miracle.

Those of you who know the Bible, do you remember Moses and the Israelites escaping from the Egyptians? I know it so well because of course it is the Passover Story, and whenever I hear it, I hear my Dad's voice telling the story.
'Let the Fiery Cloudy Pillar lead me all my journey through'


The Pillar of Fire stayed with the Moses and kept the Egyptians from harming them.
Then they crossed the sea, and it parted either side of them.
And when the Egyptians tried to follow, the walls of the sea fell on them and they were drowned.

Well that isn't quite what happened that week when I escaped the Diocese of Winchester, but it was dramatic.
It didn't bring Jane Fisher's reign of terror against me to an end, nor did it stop the Diocese from continuing to destroy me, but God, it was pretty damn awesome! Thank You Jesus! In the same miraculous way, bring the evil of the Diocese of Winchester to the ground! 

On Thursday that week, still expecting the police, and to be trapped, beaten, sectioned, called mad by jeering police, and everything I had already been made to suffer, I checked out of the bed and breakfast, and they obviously were not expecting that, I have no idea what Julie and her evil friend, Jane Fisher had arranged, but whatever it was, there was no way I could stop the damage they had done to my safety and reputation there or in the local churches and district. What mattered to me was that the fiery cloudy pillar was guarding me, and no police appeared as I started my journey.

I remained Shattered as I went forwards. To the people who I chose to trust with the next step of my life.
The Evil Diocese didn't go away or stop hurting me, but it remains with me that when they nearly killed me in November 2013, I managed to punch them in the throat and escape.

Julie Wallman didn't go away either.
Although she knew I was a churchgoer and went to church on Sundays, she was ringing and texting me on Sunday mornings, asking me to go and see her and telling me how she still wanted to help me. I couldn't believe it after what she had done! 
And this time she and Bob seemed separated instead of the Church of England style 'Us against her' That Jane Fisher or Christine Daly appeared to have taught them.

Julie said, and yes I still have all the records of this, that she still wanted to help me and could we meet up.
I replied, oh yes, you want me to come to London to be ambushed by your police and church?
She said oh, maybe lets not meet up then.
She didn't say 'No, I am not going to trick you trap you,or have you ambushed or injured.
But she kept it up.
She said she wanted to 'help me' seeming to forget how she had just had me destroyed and had lied so terribly about being able to help me when she couldn't.
I replied that she could help me by getting me a pair of walking boots.
Oh no, that was not the kind of 'help' she meant.
She really thought she could continue to trick and harm me. 
I find it inconceivable the level of evil in the Church 
of England, that they would harm too vulnerable adults by pitting them against each other like that. Julie is a vulnerable alcoholic abuse survivor, neither Bob nor the church should have stooped so low as to use her.

Anyway, I emailed Bob, and very politely put it to him that this was unacceptable.

Julie immediately stopped.

Then Boatyboy decided to hurt me some more, he sent some money to the Dean of Jersey for me, basically as well as being a thicko, he is a sicko. So that money was sent by the Dean to the Diocese, who contacted Bob Hill and asked if they could send it to the NSPCC for me! 
I never saw that money, I remain furious that there are people like Boatyboy who deliberately harm vulnerable people.
But being reminded of the NSPCC, I looked up Cameron's emails and it turned out it was Jane Fisher, my abuser and destroyer, who had referred me to the NSPCC, loud and proud, despite my formal complaints against her, another jeer, another pretence of care while raping me. 

As for my life, despite these and ongoing traumas due to the Church of England, I have rebuilt my life steadily. My recover started in 2012, when I decided to live and not commit suicide, and has been steady despite the serious and horrendous harm by the Diocese along the way and even to this day.

Julie went on to give the care inquiry a life story that was at odds with the one she told to me, and also at odds with the one she had used as political canvassing, although when I pointed that out to Bob Hill, the political canvassing article with one of Julie's three life stories was swiftly removed from the internet., because the Jersey way extends to the bloggers and their political allies.

Bob ceased to act for me, never having apologized or put things right, too self-righteous, he abandoned me to support care survivors, but continued to blog and do media interviews about my case without my consent. But refused to do a media interview with me or support me in court against the Diocese, but without my consent, tried to do his own court case, which of course I objected to, and have had his care survivors slating me because he complained to them about it. He has failed me, and maybe that was the aim of the Diocese, Bob is too much of a threat to them, with all the evidence he has, but because they have separated me from him, and he refuses to give evidence on my behalf, the evidence is wasted and the Diocese really won in that respect, as well as Jane Fisher being able to use Julie Wallman as evidence against me for my reaction to her terrible deception and illegal behaviour.

As for me, if it wasn't for the Church of England and living in fear of them and their press releases and police. I would be in paradise. I rebuilt one hell of a life. But every day I expect it all to be destroyed, by the Church of England.

What happens to people who cannot rebuild their lives? What happens to the voiceless vulnerable?
This is what I ask the Church over and over and over, they have in every way destroyed me, and the scars are red raw, but I chose life, others are forced to death.
When is something going to be done?


   















































Monday, 9 March 2015

Bob Hill, Julie Wallman and the NSPCC/letter to Philip Bailhache

I know people are looking for the Letter to Sir Philip Bailhache at the moment, but I thought I would bring this to the top today, to remind the NSPCC of what happened in 2013.
The Open letter to Philip Bailhache is available here: http://opnlttr.com/letter/letter-jerseys-external-affairs-minister-sir-philip-bailhache

NSPCC:
Regarding emails with John Cameron and Bob Hill in this post, I had had a breakdown by the time Bob was making the accusations he makes. He and Julie Wallman liased without my consent with the diocese who destroyed me, to try and have me put away under the guise of being housed by the NSPCC, Jane Fisher is the Key person responsible for destroying me, and the horror that Bob and Julie facilitated this attack on my rights and privacy and dignity remains with me, I have never really recovered, and can't, I trusted Bob Hill, and he handed me over to my destroyers as if my story was nothing, and his attitude remains the attitude you see in the email, he accuses me, as he did previously, of lying, and he slates me for not agreeing to be handed over to be incaracarated yet again with the pretence of housing me through the NSPCC.
Bob is very self righteous about helping me, but he never has, he has refused my story and rewritten it, using it as a grudge against Jersey and calling me a liar about what has happened since, rewriting my story in a style that excuses the diocese and uses the Korris rubbish which excuses Jane Fisher and Michael Scott-Joynt.
Note Bob's comments about Ian leMarquand and the States, because as I had a breakdown, Mike Higgins was inciting hatred and lies in the States and press regarding my case, instructed to do so by Bob Hill.
I was duped into this bed and breakfast situation he mentions by Julie Wallman's lies, and it nearly killed me.


From: <help@nspcc.org.uk>
Date: Tue, Aug 5, 2014 at 1:19 PM
Subject: Re: query, second email as no response so far
To: ******************************************



Good Afternoon,
Thank you for your email, apologies for the late response.

The NSPCC is a children’s charity and all of the work that we do relates to protecting children. Some of our service centres in local areas work with families to support parents however the NSPCC does not provide accommodation for adults or take referrals for an adult. If we received concerns for an adult or a family that were in need of accommodation the NSPCC would signpost them to the relevant external agencies, e.g. adult social services, charities and shelters, police etc.

For more information on  the support our service centres can provide in your local area please visit:
http://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-we-do/NSPCC-in-your-area/nspcc-in-your-area_wda84792.html
We hope this has been of some assistance. If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to get in touch.

Kind Regards
Sarah Snape
Contact Centre




On 05/08/14 11:12, *********** wrote:

Dear Sir or madam,

It has been some days since I contacted you, and I have had no response.
You are giving out the impression that you are not interested in queries.

Please could you answer my question.

Does the NSPCC, as I have heard, provide accommodation for adults.

If so, what provision is made and why, and if not, then what do they do when an adult is referred to them?

sincerely,





Bob Hill <bobps91@yahoo.co.uk>

11/22/13



to me, JULIE

 Good Morning
,
Thank you for your emails. I do feel that we have reached the crossroads. You will have to vacate your digs in a week and you must decide what you want which is best for you. No one can make that decision. I have spent months trying to help and so too has Julie in more recent times but if you can not trust us there is no point in continuing our involvement.

Your reaction last week end was very hard to take because we had no idea what you had received from Winchester and that not only would you not forward the email but you accused us of betraying you.  You say you did not open the email but I question how you knew that the NCPCC was being asked to help you unless you had read the contents.

Winchester has now sent me the email and I have told them that I am very cross at the way they have acted and that they should have invited you with me/Julie to discuss how it could keep the promise given to you by John and Christine in June. Unfortunately Winchester is in a world of its own and we cannot change want they have done but we can help you to have say in what is being proposed.

There is no point in moaning about what John and Christine promised, they let us both down, but you have won a victory in that Winchester will fund you future accommodation and they will leave how it is done with you and the NSPCC who do have facilities for adults. I am sure that if you agree to work with them it will be a small step, but you must take it.

I am not going to send any more emails to you but I do want to speak to you because we need to talk to find out how we go ahead or pull up the anchor. You now have a room in which you can Skype me. I will be publishing another Blog sometime this morning on the answers Le Marquand gave in the States on Tuesday so I hope will be around most of the day.

Please let me know when would be a good time to Skype.

Regards,
Bob
F.J (Bob) Hill, BEM

From: <JCAMERON@nspcc.org.uk>
Date: 18 November 2013 15:35
Subject: Winchester Diocese
To: r*********r@gmail.com


Dear,

I hope you do not mind me emailing you unannounced.  I have recently been contacted by  Jane Fisher from Winchester Dioceses.  She had concerns that you may be having some difficulties at present and seeking advice and support, she thought that we may be able to assist you in some way.

  We perhaps can arrange to meet to see how best we can support you. However  understand that you may not wish to make contact with me at this stage but should you wish to do so then please feel free to call me or email at any time.

Kind regards

John

John Cameron
Head of Child Protection Operations
NSPCC
42 Curtain Road
London
EC2A 3NH

From: **********************************************
Date: 18 November 2013 15:45
Subject: harassment
To: jcameron@nspcc.org.uk


Dear John Cameron or fake John Cameron,
whichever applies.

This email address is defunct apart from being used for a battle against the diocese of Winchester and I do not open unsolicited emails on behalf of the Diocese.

According to you email address you are from the nspcc, and the online reports show that there is such a person, but there is no guaruntee you are genuine and not a fake, and no reason whatsoever for such a person to contact me and the more I receive emails on behalf of that vile corporation the more furious I am, and they know it, so desist or I will include you in the harrasment complaint.
Emails regarding that vile corporation are to go via Bob Hill, now desist.

From: *********************************************
Date: 19 November 2013 10:30
Subject: formal complaint
To: help@nspcc.org.uk


Good morning,

The Diocese of Winchester who destroyed me for being an abuse victim who spoke up, have been harassing me, and yesterday started using one of your employees, John Cameron, to harass me.

There are no children involved in this dispute, thus Mr Cameron's violation of my life and privacy is ludicrous and inappropriate, and is to stop.

Sincerely,

A letter to Jersey's external Affairs Minister

08/03/15
A First  Open letter to Senator Sir Philip Bailhache, Member of the States of Jersey. With Tribute to Jersey’s local media and citizen’s who’s articles are referenced in this letter,( and although those in power can dismiss the citizens who are intelligent and brave enough to look at the counterpoint as ‘conspiracy theorists’ they obviously are not) This letter and it’s links will take the average reader some hours to get through:

Dear Philip Bailhache,
I thought that I would write to you together as you have extensively worked to vilify me and clear the Dean and wrongdoers in the Deanery of Jersey.
It is the second anniversary of the Bishop of Winchester’s foolhardy launch in the press of my case and the Dean’s suspension. I do not condone his incredibly wrong actions, but nor do I condone your response.

Before I continue, I will just mention that it is 9am in the morning here, and although this letter may not be finished this morning or today, because my adoptive Mum is coming over today, there is a vigil for abuse survivors in St Helier at 11am today, and I am sure that you  will be proud to see Jersey represented there as a caring and supportive island, not one that covers up abuse and stops inquiries at all costs or with the excuse of costs. Jersey has such a bad name for cover-ups now, what with Victoria college, Roger Holland, the care abuse and cover ups, and of course my case. So I do hope that  you were back from your trip to Brussells in time to support the Vigil today.
I will just add links to the case I mention above, for people who do not know about how things work in Jersey:

The comments on this next article refer to my case and are enlightening:

And the BBC Jersey article, which is surprising considering that the press and media in Jersey are very biased.


I must get back to writing to you directly, but I will just provide 3 more links for online readers, please do read the comments:


Senator Bailhache, I understand that you do not want the care abuse inquiry to go ahead because of cost, but what about the cost to the victims? And didn’t you spend rather a lot of taxpayer’s money in ensuring that my case was stitched up? For example, money was spent on legal services for the Dean and Deanery? While I was left voiceless, just as you are intending to leave care abuse survivors voiceless by removing their inquiry because of costs, and a cost figure that seems to come from nowhere?

Don’t you think that rather than you spending money on trips to other countries as external affairs minister, that money would be better spent on promoting Jersey by showing that Jersey cares for it’s own, by funding the inquiry?

Oh, that sounds a bit rude of me Senator Bailhache, but I recall that you have never met me, but have maligned and defamed me publicly in an open letter giving your opinion that I am a troublemaker. You failed to state in the letter that you were a churchwarden and on the Deanery Synod alongside my abuser, you also omit the other conflicts of interest in the Jersey Deanery, which appear to be exhaustive, and you abused your dual roles in the Church and in the States to persuade people to support your cause, and you misled people with the defamation of me and your inaccurate version of my past and my life since I left Jersey. Have you ever interviewed me? No, and Bob Hill quite rightly brought this up at the ‘Grouville meeting’ A meeting which showed just how lost the Church are, to still claim to be Christians while behaving as they have and are doing,and still thinking, believing, that this is how to serve God!  This is the Grouville Meeting:

Here you are showing that you are prepared to publicly slaughter an abuse survivor for your own agenda, and also you incredibly talk about me needing psychiatric treatment, when even the report to the court in Jersey said that that would not be appropriate, and even before and since, the opinion of professionals is that Psychiatric Treatment is not suitable for me. I need therapy, psychological help as I am profoundly damaged, but sadly the UK health services do not help me and I can barely afford food, let alone therapy.

You also claimed that I had made previous complaints in Guernsey and Twice in Winchester, seeing as that is untrue, where did you source that information? And why was it in the press as if it was true? And even if I had made previous complaints, do you really believe that I, or other vulnerable people or children can only be abused once? Or are simply making the abuse up, because that suits you? That certainly appears to be your track record now, with your recent efforts to close the Jersey care inquiry down.

No one in Guernsey has ever abused me. I have thus never made a complaint about them. And The only other abuse complaint in Hampshire came to light as a result of the Jersey Deanery trying to liase with a man in Hampshire who abused me, in order to do the same as you have done, make me out to be someone who goes around falsely accusing people, as well as distorting what actually happened in that situation. I suffered that slur while I was in Jersey, and all the last two years of dirty war have done, is magnify the same mistreatment of me again, and bad behaviour of the Jersey Deanery.

Here is my letter to the Jersey Deanery from 2013, at the height of you slandering and destroying me while I was still homeless and massively traumatized, the fact that I survived is incredible, and the reaction by Gavin Ashenden to this letter was also incredible, he claimed that the Bishop should ‘apologize to me and the Dean’ – No thought of apologizing himself!

Sir Philip, I think as well as speaking to survivors (if any would actually speak to you) and beginning to understand abuse and it’s after-effects, you need to educate yourself on abuse, vulnerability, psychological effects of abuse on behaviour, and the psychology of cover-ups – well maybe you don’t need to do the last bit. But the fact that you are and have been in high positions in Jersey judiciary, law and government, and yet, as is apparent from your track record, you have no understanding of abuse or it’s effects, and certainly in the Roger Holland case, that shows. So, sadly, it is not abuse that is denigrating Jersey’s reputation, it is your lack of understanding that abuse is wrong and harmful, and when someone is abused, they should be able to speak up, and they should be able to see their abuser punished and be safe from them. Have you any thoughts on the fact that the churchwarden who abused me was a serial abuser and yet is supported by the town church and allowed to take a visiting woman home since this matter broke in the news?

Unfortunately the Jersey way does the opposite of justice for victims, it sees abusers left free or freed to distress their victims and strut, often protected to do so, and vulnerable people and childhood abuse survivors living in fear, not daring to speak up for fear of ‘the Jersey way’ that sees the brave who speak out punished by smears, bankruptcy, deportation, imprisonment, homelessness, shunning in the small closed community, threatened, and other punishments. Some Jersey people speak to me in secret, afraid of what would happen if people found out. That says it all.
There are so many blogs and articles on this matter, and the views are those of the people who write and contribute, but I found this one, because if you type ‘Philip Bailhache, Jersey’, so many of these articles come up:


 As a Jersey clergyman said to me on this subject ‘In Jersey you keep your friends close and your enemies closer’.  I am sure if you truly believe yourself to be a Christian, you must be able to see how very wrong this is. And no, this opinion is not the ranting of someone deranged, because it is an opinion and an experience shared by hundreds, some of whom are not just very sane, but some have also held or hold positions in the police, government and other services in Jersey. 

Do you feel that the Dean has made any improvement to the culture of cover up and secrecy in Jersey? I think his position as the ‘Christian leader’ in Jersey means that he should have been working on making Jersey more equal in his time there. And something else about Jersey’s church continues to surprise me, I have never heard a single person speak out against the fact that there is a statue to the devil on the North Coast of Jersey.

you need to even things out and bring Christianity into the situation by maybe apologizing to the care abuse survivors for putting costs first and not even appearing to think of them as they see long awaited justice suddenly snatched from their hands after so many let-downs, and then you need to interview me and ensuring that the general public know both sides and the conflicts of interest in my case.

 Including the conflicted Ian LeMarquand, former magistrate, Home Affairs Minister, Church of England Reader, friend and colleague of my abuser, said it was a sad day when he was sacked from their church for previous misconduct; Bridget Shaw, Magistrate, wife of a Jersey clergyman; Your own position as a church member, States member and member of the judiciary, your brother’s conflicts of interest the same; Michael Birt, former Bailiff, member of the Dean’s church; Gerard LeFeuvre, churchman, prominent member of church and famous musician, also my abuser’s nephew; Gavin Ashenden, former lawyer, former chaplain to the Queen, Jersey clergyman, has never met me but has used his legal experience to influence the Steel report and was interviewed for it despite never meeting me. unfortunately this list is exhaustive and these conflicts are hidden from any report.

You are certainly aware of the distress caused to me, and also the distress caused to the family of one of Roger Holland’s victims, but do you know the impact of your recent public effort to close the inquiry, do you know how it affects survivors and people fighting for justice? If not, please read this links:

I am aware that you usually crush your opponents, with the help of your circle in Jersey, but I am not in Jersey and you have already crushed me, so I am writing you an open letter, just as you wrote one about me, and I am only following your Christian example in enlightening people about you, just as you gave people your opinion of me. The difference is, I am an abuse survivor, in a position of weakness and at serious risk, and you are a very powerful man. Now, what would Jesus say about this? I am sure that you, as a Christian can answer that.

You can buy the press, but you cannot change the truth, and as yet, as well as denying me a fair inquiry into what has happened to me, you are also trying to deny the care survivors an fair inquiry. In my case, a lot of taxpayers money was spent on legal advice for the Dean, in the case of the care survivors, you want taxpayers money to be denied so that there is no inquiry. Paradoxical. I mean, a huge amount of money was used from the criminal confiscation fund to buy Plemont Headland, did that restore lives and bring justice? Human lives, those of victims, are priority,  those people have been wronged in a system that you preside over, they are deserving of taxpayers money.

The problem is, you have done as you do, mislead the public, put a figure of 50 million on the inquiry and asked the public, these who do not care, those who keep their heads down and want to keep things sweet, if the inquiry is worth the money to pay mainly the lawyers.  It was a weighed, misleading question, very unfair, and again from your position of power and influence.

On the subject of power and influence.  You and Dame Steel are close, you are colleagues, you have published law books together and you have asked her to speak at one of your events before. If you want the report that you engineered, why don’t you bypass the Bishop of Winchester, who is a rudderless and inexperienced Bishop who has truly and utterly screwed up, and just simply get the report from your friend, Heather Steel? That would get Dakin out of a situation where he keeps lying through his PR firm. Although I am not giving you consent to get or release the Steel report, it is an illegal document, forged from alledgedly illegal actions, by you and your conflicted colleagues and friends in the Jersey Deanery, who are or were also in judiciary and law and the States.

Here is a link to one of many articles that help to educate on the effects of abuse on victims:
You were allegedly seen on an airplane, reading documents about my case, in full public view, including police documents that you (and Dame Heather Steel) had no right to. No consent from me has ever been given to you or Dame Steel or Officer Stuart Gull, who was not in Jersey when I was and only has inaccurate and misleading police documents to go by, for any of you to view my police record or notes or to use them in an inquiry or take them to England to meet with anyone.

And yet, when you were confronted by these two businessmen and their local deputy, you accused them of malice and lying. When further confronted, you made up a story that wasn’t very convincing, and Senator Gorst allowed this, and then had you promoted to external affairs minister. The Jersey way again, (also a church of England model of behaviour, they promote wrongdoers) a serious data protection breach, illegal access to police records in order to clear the Dean, and you get promoted, and spend a lot of money flying to other countries when Jersey has little or nothing to export or trade any more, but you would like to deny the survivors of abuse in Jersey the money for an inquiry.

Here are links to the case of you breaching the data protection act on a plane, it remains a criminal matter, and one that the police are obliged to look into, but Jersey Police are well known for being selective in what they look into, or record, and who’s side they take, in much the same way as you, you are seen as above the law in Jersey. I know you and your circle try to close the blogs down too, but, as they are saying what the JEP and Media need to say but forget to in favour of a more biased approach, I think it is great that people have access to the other side of the story through the blogs, please note, I had no knowledge or say in the matter of the business men on the plane, nor had I been in touch with deputy Pitman :

Now, although there is apparently criminal activity on your part, in having documents you have no right to, and in breaching the data protection act, and in libelling me and inciting hatred and smears against me, Jersey’s police and safeguarding board have not yet acted on this, despite the safeguarding board being made aware of your actions and the harm they did. This shows again why the committee of inquiry into care abuse must not be closed down, because this is a pattern. Abuse victims in Jersey have been threatened, defamed, made out to be mad, repeatedly.

 Jersey’s so-called safeguarding board pulled a publicity stunt recently over an elderly man who died, but they are ineffective, on their board is the same officer Gull who has rubbished me and who has illegally liased with Heather Steel when the Bishop publicly ‘appointed him’ despite the fact that Jersey police have committed misconduct in my case and are thus conflicted and I did not agree to any officer being ‘appointed’ by the Bishop to look into my case and certainly didn’t grant access to my inaccurate records by people who were not also taking my side of things,  and isn’t it a co-incidence that he was appointed by the Bishop when he is also on the sham safeguarding board and also was not in Jersey when I was, has never met me and has only inaccurate records and your circle who are against me to tell him one side of things. Do you see why the Care inquiry needs to continue? Because conflict and bias is recurrently preventing justice for children and the poor and vulnerable in Jersey, which isn’t acceptable in this day and age.

 And apparently the sham safeguarding board decided, without meeting me that Jersey police had done nothing wrong, which again is incorrect, which is why the care inquiry needs to look at how Jersey’s systems can be changed for the better, so that victims can be heard, believed, and see justice, not be defamed and smeared and denied justice.
Should a serving police officer be able to act in a conflicted way, being appointed by a hostile party to act illegally at the same time as influencing a serious case review to make a decision without any input from the victim? I am sure you are quite happy with all that conflict and unprofessional behaviour, but that doesn’t make it right or just, and in my case, when you are in a position where your impartiality and professional behaviour are very important, you have behaved extremely unprofessionally, in the public eye. And because Jersey is Jersey, nothing has been done, not by police, safeguarding, your chief minister, or anyone else, because you have more power than any of them.

As a man of great wealth and power, who has been privately educated at great expense, please show some compassion for those who have suffered such deprivation that they ended up in the hands of abusers of one kind or another, and still deserve to see justice and/or closure. After all you claim to be a Christian, and sit on the Jersey Deanery Synod as a result, and Jesus consistently teaches compassion, mercy, justice and also what the rich and powerful should do for the poor.

When Jesus was teaching this, he caused much dismay to the Pharasees, who were also well off because they ran the church and also conflicted church and judgement and government. The Pharisees didn’t like anyone speaking contrary to them, so they crucified Jesus, much as you and your circle have crucified me.

  I am 33, and travelled homeless for three years, condemned by the Church, and although it is looking unlikely that I will ride up to Winchester on a donkey in two weeks time, your circle have recreated the story, and you and they need to change direction and start looking to the abuse survivors with compassion not contempt, and listening to them, and making Jersey a more fair and just place. Turn back to Jesus, Sir Philip, you and your Deanery of Jersey, and support the survivors, don’t keep denying them justice.

As this letter has now reached 8 or 9 pages, I will have to end it, and call it the first letter to you, as there is so much simply not covered by it. But in conclusion, You are doing wrong, even if you are coercing people to support your efforts to close the inquiry, just as you misled people to support the re-instatement of the Dean and sent not only an open letter misleading people and defaming me, but also a circular letter misleading people.

Unfortunately, while you influence people to a certain extent, you are misleading people and causing anger and distress and stirring trouble against people who have already suffered enough, as you have a pattern of doing. And eventually there must be an end point to what is effectively abuse of power.  A new article came out today regarding this matter:

Also recent relevant articles: http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/jersey-child-abuse-rally-7th-anniversary.html


The Question is now: Do you leap to slandering me in the press and media and risk them actually publishing some of this letter rather than doing as they do and calling it my madness, slander and lies? Do you go all out to get the Steel report released? Or do you coldly ignore my letter but in the knowledge that other people will read it, not in the JEP where they read your letter about me, but through other media, because Jersey’s media and press are very select about who’s side they publish, an example being Teri Bond, who had met me once but was close to the Dean and his wife, usually having the Dean over for supper when his wife was away, having uncensored lies about me published as if they were fact in the JEP.


Sincerely,

HG


Related articles:
The Daily blog of the abuse survivor destroyed by the Deanery of Jersey and Diocese of Winchester: http://lifeafterthediocese.blogspot.co.uk/
Some of the Church abuse survivors story, told here as the Jersey media consistently only report on Senator Bailhache and the Jersey Deanery’s side:
A recent letter to the Dean of Jersey:
Blogs regarding the Jersey Deanery and their engineered report:
Blog focussing on the failure by the States to provide justice for abuse survivors: http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/

















Sunday, 8 March 2015

Evil? Or misguided?

For example, did Bailhache know, that I was egged on to do certain things and was told that they were legal, for example writing notices and sticking them to St. Andrews church or the churchwarden's house or re-directing spammers to spam the churchwarden, I was told that these were legal and that the churchwarden's unrepentance and arrogance deserved them, however I never did some other suggestions, such as weedkilling the churchwarden's garden or even worse suggestions.

The notices on the church were designed to help the church who had closed ranks against me in support of the churchwarden, to understand my side of things.
It is incredible that even then, at that late stage, I still thought that the church were Christians.

The notices and letters I wrote and stuck on the church and house were mainly not dated, and I have no doubt that the deanery have abused that, because they claim that the reason the Dean saw the churchwarden first was because I was harassing the churchwarden.
No, the churchwarden and his wife were slandering me to the church they had segregated me in, and throughout the church community where they were prominent figures, this made me an outcast in a small island community and left me deeply hurt, and more so when Jane Fisher covered up by denying that it ever happened. I was answering back to what the churchwarden was doing. And had the Dean received both complaints, it would still not have made sense for him to deal with both at the same time and also it didn't make sense that he saw the churchwarden first, as the chruchwarden was a known offender, who had been allowed to take me in, be alone with me even in the church and even when people witnessed inappropriate behaviour.

The churchwarden had deliberately separated me from the church coming between me and other friendly church members, telling them that I was his responsibility and they were to keep their distance. I still didn't know at the time that this is exactly what abusers do.

And worse, this is also what some abusers do. While I was with the churchwarden, as I deteriorated, he and his wife told other people of my distress, in their own terms, to get sympathy, making my distress out to be my disability and not my reaction to what was going on.

Philip Bailhache makes the situation out to be a happy family one, but it was never that.
The churchwarden for some reason wanted a daughter, he didn't pay any attention to his infant grandaughter, he wanted a daughter, and his wife didn't, she made that clear and said so, and called me a burden, I had already been belittled so much by people in the church of england who have no understanding of poverty, disability or vulnerability.

The damage to me was not just sexual abuse by psychological abuse, being told I was 'daughter' but kept from the rest of the family, and left out of family occasions, belittled by the churchwarden's wife and regressed to childhood by the churchwarden and made to talk about rape and other sexual things while he touched me or sat me on his knees.
Then I spoke up, and had Juliet Montague phoning me up, trying to tell me it was my problem because I went to the churchwarden's workplace - she failed to also mention that I always did so at his request, or in the end, when I wanted him to face and resolve what had been going on. And again, that is typical church of england closing ranks, and if the press ever actually heard the extent of this closing ranks, which is not mentioned in ANY report, then it would make a story.


Obviously neither Bailhache nor the Dean nor the former Bishop and his wife, nor Jane Fisher, and certainly not Juliet Montague, understand abuse and it's effects, they have focussed only on blaming and smearing me, covering up and omitting my side from any investigation, and none of what you read above, is included in the Steel report, so how can the report be anything other than a whitewash.  Back to Juliet, her denial of abuse and defence of wrongdoers was consistent through the time I knew her, she made her step-daughter out to be a liar, although that girl could not have ended up in the shocking state she did without being abused, and she defended Malcolm Eastlake at my expense, making me out to be as bad as him, a paedophile, for being on the autistic spectrum, the depths of church of England ignorance and outright wrongdoing is astounding, but it is all blithely axplained away in the Korris report at my expense, so what is the point of these reports? They show, to those who know, that the church is in the dark ages, and to those whop do not know or who are as ignorant as the church, the church is making the impression of caring and doing the right thing.

And as I say, time and time again, what happens to the voiceless, who cannot write as I do? Well they don't get deported in their pyjamas and then slandered and driven from their home town, destitute and branded for life, but they also never get heard by the church or get justice, the only victims I know who have been heard in the media and through speaking out as I do, are Theresa Cooper and Eli Ward, who are both scarred for life by the abuse they suffered and the injustice they faced from the church as a result.

The Dean's recent behaviour in demanding publication of the report does not show a man with a clean conscience, it shows a man who has got his own way in hijacking a report and is smug about it, he calls Dame Steel a 'respected Jersey Judge', well she isn't respected except by her close colleagues Bridget Shaw, the wife of the Rector of St. Clements, and Philip and William Bailhache and Michael Birt, all part of the Dean's church and circle, and the fact that they are in judiciary and in the church doesn't mean that they are good or honest, and in this day and age, people should know that.

So, what of my abuser now? Last I heard, he nd his wife had invited a female visitor from the Town Church home, as he know attends the Town Church and was applying to be warden there, I wasn't his first female guest, and I wouldn't be the last, of course, but he is well established and looked after by Bob Key's church, while Bob Key demands his report, and not a single member of the church will forgive what I did as the result of trauma, but instead try to blanket defame and shame me for their version of my past.
Isn't it time the church started taking my story instead of upholding this? Ah, but Jane Fisher openly upheld it, blamed me for an attack on me by a Jersey priest, based on 'what he had heard' from St. Andrews, and tried to do the same as the Dean and Deanery in lumping my past, or their version, and upheld them in it.

This is what Bailhache refers to as me 'Making complaints in Guernsey and Hampshire' Which I didn't, Jill and George Lihou are the parents in law of the priest who attacked me on grounds of 'what he had heard' and Jill and George are church members who lived in Hampshire but moved to Guernsey, they made my life hell and I never made a complaint about them, ever, the Jersey Deanery, with the help of the priest who attacked me, brought them into the Jersey matter while I was still in Jersey, to strengthen the case for the churchwarden who they were defending, and to take away my credibility, basically what has happened in the last few years with the Jersey Deanery slandering and libelling me is only what was happening in Jersey when I was there, and if you think of it that way, then you can see how neither Fisher nor Korris were credible in rubbishing my distress as paranoia.

On the subject of Fisher, when this matter is properly investigated, which both Fisher and the Deanery hope has been permenantly prevented, someone needs to ask Fisher which 'Jersey Politician' she was boasting about meeting with about me: Bailhache? LeMarquand? Or numerous other conflicted church-states-judiciary-freemasons?

The fact remains that I was not just 'punished' for reacting to the terrible damage to me in Jersey, I was destroyed, and Jane Fisher and Scott-Joynt went all-out to destroy me again when I returned to Winchester, not a scrap of integrity or compassion, they publicly, in front of my old friends, in my home town, destroyed me, and I nearly died, but I saved my own life, and remain crippled, and then the church have destroyed me over again.

The Church of England, as well as being without safeguarding, without care, and without understanding, are without forgiveness, and have spent two years destroying me again and making me live in fear, now how much more wrong than my traumatized actions, are theirs, from their places of power and wealth and stability, when they have never suffered abuse and do not know in the slightest or care, about the ongoing damage done to me? How can I forgive myself? When I am publicly flogged indefinitely, for reacting to years of harm by the church? This matter  isn't hurting a single other person, no one else has even been or seemingly even will be, disciplined, reprimanded, or even enlightened to my side of things.

What I have written and what I can write, and even the 20 hours of tape recordings, does not tell the full story, and so I am waiting for an inquiry that includes me.

HG

Vigil in St. Helier today 11am

For abuse survivors.

...Did they invite Bailhache?
Did they invite the Jersey Inquiry Panel?

http://mtadier.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/let-independent-jersey-child-abuse.html

http://voiceforchildren.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/support-for-jersey-child-abuse.html

Well done deputy Tadier.


Thursday, 5 March 2015

When Churchwarden Philip Bailhache voted for his fellow churchman

He was successful in getting his fellow churchman, who is also my abuser's nephew, to win the anthem despite the fact he, Philip Bailhache,  was conflicted, but he didn't get the people of Jersey to like or accept his 'Jersey Anthem'.
Today's BBC Jersey headlines: http: //www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-31738074

Philip Bailhache tries to run everything in Jersey, and after recently apparently putting Frances Oldham in her place over the care inquiry, he has swanned off to Brussells to get the big guns on his side.
Now he has stopped worrying about the care inquiry, he had better worry about saving the anthem he voted in against people's wishes.

Sunday, 1 March 2015

For once the dreadful charity macsas makes sense and you can see how much Butler really doesn't care

http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2015/27-february/news/uk/survivors-of-abuse-predict-a-deluge-of-complaints

The problem is, Clergy all over the country read the church times rag and are influenced and mislead by it and it's propaganda.

Wake up in the morning and write to remind the Bishop...

Dear Bishop Dakin,

You have stolen two years of my life for a public character assination of me.
You owe me recompense for that.
You also owe a duty of care in stopping this endless living in fear.
You either put me in contact with these legal and safeguarding experts who are supposedly looking at your whitewash report, so that I can tell my story,
or you stop claiming that these people are looking at the report, and scrub the report, so that the attacks on me by the Jersey Deanery and BBC, which I hold YOU responsible for, stop.
You are breaching my human rights by making me ilive in fear and under repeated attacks without warning in the press, and Jane Fisher has repeatedly breached my human rights by her illegal actions in Jersey and Winchester and beyond, violating me over and over through services and churches that she needed to get her and Scott-Joynt's side accross to in order to cover up, and vilify me.
The damage is for life for me, and you are directly and seriously harming my health by keeping your charade up about the Steel report when you know damn well it is not a fair and balanced report, you have not done a safeguarding investigation, you have done an un-safeguarding investigation.
Your Steel rubbish makes no difference to Jersey, and it has done only one thing, destroyed me and left me voiceless, my complaints have not been investigated.
The Korris rubbish was the same. I cannot imagine why Paul Butler makes such a huge fuss in the press about safeguarding, when the church of england do not know what safeguarding is.
Safeguarding is not segregating, punishing and destroying abuse victims and furthering slander of them by abusers, wrongdoers and supporters of abusers and wrongdoers, and that is all you have done.
Meanwhile you are employing an abuser as a safeguarding director, a woman who deliberately went all-out to destroy me and cover up for her wrongdoing, the former Bishop's wrongdoing and makes sure that a glaring miscarriage of justice in Jersey was covered up by her report, known as the Korris report but better titled the Fisher report.
The damage you did to me by that report remains, and you have not apologized.
You didn't remove that whitewash report until I took you to court.

Tell me, how long are you going to make me sit here suffering you and suffering ill health as a result? I think I asked you that about a year ago, and still no answer, you have lied to a court of law in the meantime.
There is no excuse to call your public character assassination of me 'Safeguarding', you have had me attacked by strangers as a result of your utterly sadistic and mindless launch of my case into the worldwide press and then the U-turn into defaming me by association when you let the Dean off because you had no right to suspend him, and no power against his powerful circle.

That assassination of me has continued without stop. And yet you claimed to apologize to me for the last lot of miscarriage of justice, you made a show of apology in the press, only to go and do the same again to me only much much worse, as this time, it has been spewed all over the press and media, and you have given everyone the impression that the Dean is innocent and thus you have basically upheld and supported the Jersey Deanery in their smear campaign against me, is that safeguarding? No, you just, on a much bigger scale, did what Jane Fisher and Scott-Joynt did to me, crucified me because you had no power in Jersey.
And you are entirely to blame for publicly suspending the Dean when you had no power to do so.

You received my complaint against Jane Fisher, and you are aware that even the Korris rubbish manages to slip some of her misconduct in, and of course the truncated material mentioned  was done by Fisher to ensure she was in the clear and I looked mad, well of course, the same as was done with the police, with no explaination to the police that Fisher and Scott-Joynt were provoking me.
So, why, since I have repeatedly let you know about this, has Fisher not been suspended, not been disciplined, why has my complaint not been answered, and why when you made such a fuss about Jersey, has Fisher's illegal and seriously distressing and damaging actions since Jersey, not been investigated.
The Korris report is written from Jane Fisher's notes, Jane Fisher has done wrong. Why has nothin g been done about this if you 'care about safeguarding' and, to be honest, why was my case the only one launched in the press with the Korris lies and smears? You haven't publicly crucified a single other victim this way.

We could simply re-write the Korris scenario over again. 'I have asked the Archbishop and BBC Jersey for help' But had no adequate response.

I have asked the Archbishop. Paul liestoprotectthechurch-Butler, Elizabeth Hall, John Gladwin and Christine Daly (who made false promises, lied at a token meeting, and supported the Jersey side), I have asked the press, the Press complaints commission, the national safeguarding boards, the police, the official solicitor, the public guardian, the queen, the courts, your solicitors, I have asked Trevor Willmott (Juliet Montagues former lover, according to her), I have asked every diocese in the country, I have asked the Queen, the Home Secretary, 10 Downing Steet, MPs, lawyers, bloggers, I have asked everyone to protect me from you and your repeat of the destroyal of me in Jersey, and just as it fell on deaf ears then, it has fallen on deaf ears now.
So, tell me, what was your boast, and what is the church's boast? You are commited to safeguarding, you are taking safeguarding seriously?

No, not while you are killing me and making me live in fear and under stress. If I suffer an asthma attack over any of your whitewash reports or commit suicide, which is highly unlikely, you will be responsible for my death, because you are fully and completely aware of how you are harming me, you have been told enough times. 
And you have been told that your reports, which degrade me, defame me and do not equate to safeguarding investigations or anything to do with my case and integrity, do not include me or my views.
So every time you claim that you have 'experts' working on these reports when you allow me to be attacked in the press, you do not ring true.
No expert can work on reports to make them viable when the reports completely exclude the person they are supposedly about.
And how would these experts make any difference when they, as you too, have never met me?!
Although you have lied and mislead people by claiming to have personally apologized to me, which you have not.
The only 'apologies' were flannel in the press to make you look good. The church under Welby, have developed a system of duplicity where they love to say sorry and claim to be 'humbled' or 'admit to mistakes' when they don'[t give a damn any more than they ever have.
Just as in the government, abuse is a perk of the job in the church, that is the only reason the very tiny minority of vulnerable are allowed to attend church.
I recall going into a  church in the winchester diocese, a small church, all the congregation were ancient, and they all turned and openly stared at me, because I was in my 20s and had been invited by the Vicar.

Those old people pay the church to keep running, blindly thinking it is a christian church, and they do not have a clue about vulnerable and abuse, and so they let someone like Bishop Dakin remain, and they believe what they are told about people like me.

If there was only an abjudcator who spoke up and said 'The Church of England cannot continue' and said it with authority. Because the press releases, the duplicity, the wealth, the showing off, the showing off at my expense and leaving me suffering, this is not Christianity, Welby, Dakin and Key and Butler need to do as Jesus said and sell their wealth and go out on the streets and tend the poor, not show off in articles about 'helping out at nursing homes! The Church of England do what the pharisees did and not what Jesus did or taught, and when Dakin goes home to his palace after a photo shoot at a nursing home to show of and for PR, the overworked carers go back to the real work and with no publicity, most of the carers are poor, migrants, minimum wage. 
The Church of England do only as the pharisees do, and have judged and condemned me, and still nothing has been done about Dakin, who traced me through the police, violating me, and the threatened me for begging to continue my life without further illegal intervention, he threatened me with court action that he didn't have my side of, he came after me with the police and press, violating me, for a PR stunt, and threatened me, and cleared the Dean, and has waged war on me ever since, by allowing the Jersey Deanery and their supporters to be heard in inquiries and press, and allowed me to be smeared and defamed by the same.

When exactly does this petty cowardly destroyal of me by the church end?