Tuesday, 17 March 2015

What really happened in October and November 2013

References:

Julie Wallman, former Jersey resident, grew up in the care system and allegedly abused by her alcoholic Mother, became a very small time member of the film industry and tells me she goes without money in between films.
Bob Hill, former MET police officer and Jersey deputy. Offered to act as my mediator.

http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/bob-hill-honest-man.html#.VP6qf3ysW5w

I re-posted this yesterday:  http://whatreallyhappenedinthechurch.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/bob-hill-julie-wallman-and-nspccletter.html#.VP6q4XysW5w

I was homeless and the weather was bad.
I did what I sometimes did, I had a night in a bed and breakfast,
I was shattered by nine months or so of being destroyed by the Diocese of Winchester and the Deanery of Jersey, publicly, in the press.

I was in the bed and breakfast when Bob Hill started going on about this woman who wanted to help me. He told me that she was someone he trusted, which at the time still meant something even though Bob was messing my case up and harming me. Bob made me write letters to people I didn't want to write to, and pretend they were from me, and he called me a liar over something I told him truthfully, leaving me shattered, and never apologized, and he simply repeated all the slander by the Jersey Deanery back to me, because Bob had never met with me and taken my story, so he had no answer when I was slandered to him. Not a very good mediator at all, but nonetheless, I still trusted him, so when he put me in touch with Julie Wallman, I was still vulnerable and gullible enough to believe in both of them, and it turned out to be at massive cost to me.
Julie often appeared as a commentor on Bob's blogs and other blogs, complimenting me and signing hername as 'J x'.

Julie asked me if I would come to London to meet her, and because I had faith in Bob Hill and was quite happy to be helped, I agreed, and said I would go the next day, after all, I had nowhere else to be.
I travelled to London and met Julie. She was supposed to be a film director and writer, although I had no interest in that as I am not very interested in the film industry. I watch a few films but I am not a stars in their eyes wannabe film person. I remember among the Lihou's endless boasts, how they said that the father of one of their grandaughter's school-mates was a film director so their grandaughter might be in a film!
I suppose the reason I didn't simply walk out on the Lihous and their boasts early on is the same reason that I had faith in Bob and Julie, I am gullible, to the point of being an idiot and letting myself be damaged.

Julie was a complete puzzle, she claimed to have been homeless in London, but didn't even know where the National Gallery was. Any smart homeless person knows that.
We went to the National Gallery, because you can sit in there and talk. So we did.

Julie told me she had left home aged 16 to stop herself from violence to her alcoholic mother. She claimed to have fled to London with just £100 or was it £200 in her back pocket. I like the fact she uses expressions like back pocket. No-one with any sense keeps money in their back pocket, especially not in London.

Unfortunately later on, other versions of her story came out, such as that she started her career at Channel TV, not homeless on the streets of London.
I still have her version of her story, where she was homeless in London and starving in a little flat and working unpaid as a runner and relying on her neighbour to feed her.

The reason I am vulnerable is that I still fall for stories that people make up, I don't know any better.
Julie told me that she had been raped when she was homeless. And was then picked up by the police.
Again, I know this is unlikely, and I doubt she told the care inquiry that story. Seemingly she did it to scare me about my life on the streets, but it didn't.

She told me a story about a landlord of hers grabbing her by the throat while she was in the bath.
Horror stories, and I, having been on the streets, have heard so many horror stories but know not to believe them from addicts and alcoholics, but a friend of Bob Hill's, who was a film director, was a different story.
Unfortunately Julie was also one of Bob Hill's 'care inquiry witnesses, that he was grooming to give evidence, as far as I know.
He tried to get me to give evidence, despite the fact I was never in the Jersey care system, so I got a rebuff from the inquiry to add to my confusion and distress, but back to the meeting with Julie in London.

Julie said she had something to tell me, and she weirdly said she had to close her eyes in order to tell me. So she did. This always makes me think she was lying. Along with the fact that she told me not to tell anyone things she said to me.

She told me that she had been close to Philip Bailhache, who had seen himself as her mentor and was proud of her for being from Jersey and being in the film industry and doing a film called 'The crooked mile' or 'The straight mile' or something.

Julie told me that Philip Bailhache had been her good friend and mentor until her boyfriend was arrested, Philip was to be the judge of the case and she phoned him and asked him not to but he proceeded and put her boyfriend in prison.
Now, I do not know how much of that is true. Yes she has a boyfriend, and he helps her to run 'Greeneye Productions' Her kind of film company based in St. Helier, while Julie lives in North London, but I do not know if she simply made the rest up to make me believe she was genuine about helping me.

Philip Bailhache had been slandering and libelling me publicly in the press and working hard to clear the Dean, leaving me deeply traumatized.

Anyway, Julie said she wanted to help house me, and to be honest, although being indoors caused me traumatic stress, even in the bed and breakfast, I was ok with being housed at this point, because from the end of 2012, I had started to recover enough to consider living indoors.
The only problem being, I couldn't house myself from the streets, or thought I couldn't, and there was no way I could get through any local authority process, especially not with the terrible record and slander of me by the Diocese of Winchester, which is what made me homeless and kept me homeless, along with the trauma.

So I went along with what Julie told me in London, just as I went along with the churchwarden's plan in Jersey. I am an idiot, and I am suffering for it.

Julie told me that she wanted to phone the bed and breakfast and arrange for them to keep me for two or three weeks if they had the room, she said she would pay, and she would tell them that I was her cousin and I needed somewhere quiet to stay while I did my thesis. Well I am never happy with blatant lies, it was reminiscent of Jersey police telling me to lie, but I trusted Julie as she was Bob Hill's friend, apparently.
Julie told me she had to go and make the phonecall in private, and of course I said that was fine, even though it did worry me.
And it should have.

Julie claims that while I was in London with her, I agreed to her contacting the Church of England, well Bob Hill claims that Julie claims this, but Bob Hill never checked with me, and no, I never gave Julie consent.

Julie told me that while I was in the bed and breakfast I was to look for somehwere to live, anywhere I liked, and she would pay a certain amount towards the rent, per week. Again I was gullible and agreed, after telling her I didn't feel good about this, and I didn't want to be a burden or a debt, after my bad experiences in the church where people had taken me in and then taken pound after pound of flesh in vilifying me, both harming me and invalidating the potential good that they had done.
Julie assured me that she was in a position to help me, and I believed her, she was a film producer and director and other things. And although I don't want to live off anyone, I was weakened by the combined attacks on me by the diocese and deanery, and the chest infections that I had had, and I hoped that I could rely on Julie because Bob had asked me to let Julie help me, and Bob was my mediator so I trusted him. Bob seemed to think that Julie was in a position to help me.

So Julie arranged for me to stay on in the bed and breakfast, and I had stayed there a night or two at a time for years, and never had a problem, but their attitude to me changed after Julie's phone call. The man was downright nasty. Of course I should have known something was wrong. People turn nasty when Jane Fisher gets involved, and slanders me, and has me driven and vilified, while pretending to care about me.

Bob and Julie were now working closely together, Bob no longer told me to speak to him or pass information to him, he told me to speak to him and Julie and to pass information to him and Julie. This was without my consent, I did not agree to close liason and again, it smacked of the Diocese and church of England, their way of working, Jane Fisher's violating way of working, and increasingly I became unsettled and concerned.
I voiced concerns to Bob repeatedly, and he ignored them.
I was yet again voiceless and powerless as I had been at the hands of the Diocese.
Bob seemed to think he could use the fact that I had agreed to stay in the bed and breakfast to get me to stop asking questions, and he told me to 'go and read the film scripts that Julie gave me' as if it was an important task to do with my case. The scripts were crap, they were like Julie's copy of other people's work. I looked them up, and they were, and I looked Julie up and I found only real film industry people making jokes about her like 'She is compact and therefore economical to travel' or something.

I was in the local library where I spent most of my days, when Julie rang me and told me that she couldn't afford to pay for accommodation for me and she wanted to phone Bishop John Gladwin.
I was furious, Bob Hill knew very well that John Gladwin had let me and him down, and as Julie knew who Gladwin was, she must have known very well that I was angry with him.
I furiously told Julie that she was not on any account to do so, and if I felt threatened, I would walk out of the bed and breakfast.

Bob sided with Julie, basically he had stopped being my mediator and now worked with Julie, he was no friend of mine, he tried to tell me off for being upset and it developed into a massive row.

And the row went on, because I was utterly shocked that Julie had threatened to betray me to the church of england as she had, and that Bob had backed her up against me.
Can you imagine my disgust and horror at the thought that I had agreed in good faith for Julie to help house me, and had been let down and duped and she thought that I would let my destroyers, who I had been on the run from for so long, actually house me? And know where I was!!! After the police beatings and being imprisoned and homeless and driven from my home city and damned, Julie seemed to think I would allow the same people to house me, thus invalidating my side of things and my complaint against them, and Bob backing Julie up in this! Utter hell.

It is difficult to write about November 2013, all the elements of the nightmare that still haunts me.

So, the row went on, and Julie was due to fly to Jersey, to see her boyfriend, Justin, who helps her to run Greeneye productions, this Justin is presumably the same boyfriend who Philip Bailhache put away, for fraud, I think Julie said.
But Julie couldn't fly that day because of fog.

That night, I was awake most of the night, because I remained terrified of indoors and usually didn't sleep until early morning. Julie sent a weird drunken email through, in the early hours.
I replied, as I was concerned, and we talked. She was obviously drunk, and that worried me all the more, this whole situation was unstable, I had taken her at face value, agreed to the bed and breakfast and now she had said she couldn't afford to house me and wanted to set the church of england on me, I was left with my faith in her and Bob damaged and no reassurance from either of them. The fact that she could get drunk and send random emails didn't help, and now I was concerned for the fact that she could not afford to help me, had decieved me and winter was setting in and my time indoors was going to affect me returning to the streets as the temperature dropped, a potentially dangerous situation, made worse by the recent chest infection.

Julie flew to Jersey the next day.

I remained confused and anxious as nothing had been explained or reassured, and I was left hanging, feeling like I had been screwed over to believe that someone who could not help me could. It felt dreadful and alongside the Diocese and Deanery war, it left me ill.

The Diocese and Deanery war continued, with more slander of me and then Jersey police muscling in to traumatize me.

This whole episode was so traumatic that I started writing this blog last week and had to stop. I still cannot believe the depths to which Bob and Julie and the Church harmed me.
When I try to think of what happened, I suffer traumatic shock, confusion and flashbacks, because after all the uncontrolled smearing of me in the press and media, after all the strangers maligning and condemning me, I was weakened and ill, and I was still terrified at night indoors and trusted in Bob and Julie, now that they were working together without consulting me, in a grim church of england style that should have alerted me to something being wrong, especially after Julie threatened to contact John Gladwin.

Both Bob and Julie were well aware of my disgust an distress about the Church of England and Bob was supposedly on my side and did a number of blogs condemning the Church of England over the way they handed my case, so what happened was and is a shocking betrayal, that has never been resolved or apologized for.
Although it remains that Bob had called me a liar over something I did not lie about, and left me in collapse with no apology, and he and Julie had presumably liased to arrange to contact Gladwin when Julie phoned me and asked me if she could. Even though Gladwin had already let me down by meeting me only for a token meeting when Bob had put him under pressure to, by writing a letter as if it was from me and making me copy the letter out and send it. He did this with several things, including causing me traumatic stress by making me contact one of the advocates who had blatantly failed me when I was in Jersey.

So, anyway, when I had got deeply distressed at Julie telling me she couldn't afford to help me, when she had duped me to believe that she could, and then asking if she could contact John Gladwin, that should have been the end of the matter except that I had been duped into staying in a bed and breakfast that Julie apparently could not afford, and seeking accommodation on the proviso that Julie had said she was willing and able to help support me as I settled in. I was left embarrassed and shocked by her revelation that she couldn't help me and would even consider setting the church on me and putting my location and new identity at risk from my destroyers, the Church of England, and more shocked that Bob Hill would uphold her and snap at me for reacting to this.

Jane Fisher and her destroying church were triumphing again, violating me, raping my life and dignity and freedom and privacy yet again, and this time my trusted and respected mediator was helping them, and I cannot begin to tell you the horror of that.

Those of you who think I am overreacting have no idea what Jane Fisher did to me, and the Korris report doesn't tell you, because it covers up for her.

So I was being forcibly parented by Bob and Julie, and it wasn't fun, it made me angry that I had been undermined, Bob knew damn well how important it was to me to keep myself safe and hidden from the church after what they and their pet police had done to me, although he didn't believe me because he treated the Korris rubbish as his Bible and would not listen to me or interview me, and yet he and Julie wanted Gladwin to help house me, AFTER he had let us down and made promise of more meetings, which simply never happened, and Bob thought I would actually let a member of the Church of England know where I was and play a part in me being housed, despite my homelessness being due to the trauma of the church taking my home and work and life from me and leaving me homeless and destroyed, and STILL hounding me and launching police attacks on me. I still do not understand why Bob and Julie completely ignored my feelings and rights and overrode them, presumably duped by the church as most people are, most people who I beg to protect me from the church, people who hear the church's propaganda and not the cries of victims who are silenced.

Anyway, it was now mid-November, I had been in the bed and breakfast for a few weeks but felt very bad about it, seeing as Julie had now made it clear that she had lied to me and could not afford to keep me there, so I was left feeling deeply embarrassed and at a loss. I was not well, the stress of the whole matter was now leaving me weak and shaky and I was having temporary loss of feeling down one side, I knew that this was not a stroke, it is called conversion disorder, and is not a usual part of my psychological problems, and it occured only for a few months in 2013, never before and never since. So I had no choice but to trust Bob when he told me to remain at the bed and breakfast.

But I was angry with Bob and Julie for duping me, and had no idea what to do now I had been offered help with housing and let down and threatened with church interference through Gladwin, I am sure you can imagine, if you have been damaged and let down by an organization, for example if you have been screwed over by RBS or HSBC, and someone you trust says to you, 'Oh, sorry to let you down, I knew I couldn't help you after all,  but I will help you by handing you over to a lovely chap at RBS or HSBC or whatever...' You would be furious at their callousness and betrayal and deceit.
And so I was furious with Bob and Julie.

Bob and Julie also caused me maximum distress by claiming that they were liasing to get me to see a solicitor and journalist, and then all Bob did was churn out some rubbish from the Korris report as a 'statment' while Julie slated me for my anger and distress.
It was all made up, and of course, by now, Julie was already in touch with the Church of England, so of course they didn't want her helping me with solicitors and journalists, oh no. And again, as I had many times, I knew there was something wrong when Julie said that she wanted to forget the solicitor and journalist and only concentrate on housing me ( as instructed by the CofE of course).
THis whole episode caused me trauma and shock, and as usual, BOb was self-righteous and didn't apologize for his dreadful misleading statement. And I certainly felt alarm bells at Julie's statement that she only wanted to house me.
Don't be fooled that the Church wanted to house me because they cared, it is only about liability for making me homeless, and it wasn't the first time they had entrappc ed me and tried to force me indoors, and simply raped me and left me seriously harmed and used that against me.

Julie was due to fly to Jersey to stay with her boyfriend, Justin, who helps her to run her 'film agency' Greeneye Productions, which is based in St. Helier, presumably Justin is the one that Philip Bailhache put in prison for fraud as well.
Anyway. Julie's plane was cancelled due to fog, and she was up all night and sending emails to me in the early hours that showed her to be drunk, and I was concerned, she seemed vulnerable, lost and completely pissed. So I talked to her.

I wondered, and I did ask Bob, if he was aware that good safeguarding boundaries meant that a vulnerable and unhealed survivor like Julie should not be working with someone like me, certainly not on the level of transforming my life when she couldn't afford to. At very least, Julie should not have offered to help me when she couldn't, at the other end of the scale, Julie knew damn well she couldn't help me, and she or she and Bob, had intended all along to violate me with the church, and presumably some malicious person in the church was playing Bob and Julie to harm me in the way that they did.

Anyway, Julie flew to Jersey the day after the drunken emails and skypes. And was there with her boyfriend, and then at Bob and Anne Hill's house.
She then let another incongruency slip, she said to me 'Oh Bob and Ann are doing so much for you, and they say they love it, they say 'we are doing all this for HG'' Now Why would Bob and Ann call me HG to Julie? When they all know my name? HG is the label that Korris and the Church of England gave me! Again it sounded worrying to me, but again I trusted Bob and thus allowed him to keep liasing with Julie.

I can confim here and now that I never at any point gave Bob or Julie permission to liase with the Church of England, and as the Church of England were effectively defendants in a dispute and Bob was supposed to be acting for me, so Bob definitely knew better than to ever liase with or make arrangements with, the church behind my back, and yet he did, and thus disqualified himself as my mediator, and destroyed me and my trust for him. Why, apart from Jane Fisher and the Diocese being masters of duplicity and deception, Bob actually handed me over to be crucified, I will never know, but he did, and he did it knowing my feelings, knowing my vulnerability, and knowing what my reaction would be.

Bob later feebly claimed that Julie got my permission in London, she did not, nor did Bob check with me, and if my permission had been given, why did they go behind my back? And why when I reacted, did Bob slate me, call me a liar and still try to push their agreement with the Diocese onto me?

It all broke around the third week in November. Horrifyingly. And I saw my whole world and everything I saw as safety taken from me as violently as rape -which is the trademark of Jane Fisher and the Diocese, I have been decieved, tricked, trapped, humiliated and violated enough times by Jane Fisher to say that this rape of me in pretence of care is her trademark.

I was in the bed and breakfast, I was upset at their changed attitude to me as I had stayed occasional nights for years, and they had always been ok, although the younger guy was a bit of a bastard, but now it was not a friendly place and I was still terrified to sleep at night as a result of Jane Fisher and her police's years of harm to me.

Then in the news in Jersey, the Bishop of Winchester was showing off that he had 'appointed' a police officer to liase with Dame Steel, the conflicted judge, and although the Bishop had no right to appoint anyone and it was blatantly illegal for him to appoint anyone to access my inaccurate records by police who had acted heniously,  for a conflicted judge who I had objected to, and both Bob and I objected, our objections were ignored.
And it turned out that the Bishop had just co-incidentally 'appointed' the same man who was advising Jersey's sham safeguarding board that the police had done nothing wrong to me, for another sham whitewash serious case review arranged presumably by Jane Fisher and therefore only a whitewash, and so the safeguarding board had rubbished me, again, as with the Steel report, what actually happened to me, my account, was omitted in favour of the wrongdoers who arranged and wrote the reports.

Does anyone still think it was OK for Bob and Julie to deceive me and hand me over to the same church who did the original damage and then added to it with all this

So in the Jersey press and media, the Bishop was showing off about 'appointing' his cover up officer, and the press omitted the fact that this officer was also on the sham safeguarding board and had made up his mind and theirs, the Bishop refused to respond to the fact that I did not grant permission for anyone to view the inaccurate police records and cover-ups for police misconduct and brutality and Jane Fisher's illegal liasons with the police to destroy me and cover for the Diocese.

Again, what on earth did Bob think he was doing, handing me over to the very people who did and were doing all this damage? I can only assume, as I have said before, Bob is a bit gullible, and seems to have been willing to listen to and go along with any story but mine, especially reproducing the Korris rubbish as if it was fact.

The police then contacted me, thankfully the blogger commentors had told me that the police were claiming that they wanted to take the church back to court.
Apparently the police were claiming they were 'following new leads', basically Jane Fisher had been witholding evidence and perverting the course of justice and all of a sudden she and the church want the churchwarden prosecuted, after protecting him and destroying me before.

Well, why should I go along with duplicious and deceitful people who want my abuser prosecuted or cleared for their own ends. Has anyone even considered the likelihood that the church want him in court to clear him? Well, considering the lengths that Fisher went to protect him and other wrongdoers who supported him, including Key, who she acted as a witness for to get me prosecuted, and considering the lengths Fisher had gone to to destroy me, why exactly should I go through the trauma of making statements to a bent and nasty police force who had destroyed me? Just to meet the Church of England's requirements?! What Fisher has done to me is literally infinite times worse than what the Churchwarden did to me, literally, no joking.
And does anyone know in full what she has done to me? No. There are too many gullible idiots like Boatyboy criticizing me and upholding the Church's actions.

Jersey police brutalized me, jeered at me, imprisoned me, ruined me, for the churchwarden and Jane Fisher, and they fail all and every abuse survivor and prosecute in 2 out of 28 rape cases and blame the lack of victim support services for this. I have no idea why ANYONE, especially Bob Hill has any right to question or criticize my response to Jersey police contacting me, I told Jersey police to go to hell. I really do not care that people have responded by saying it is because I have no case against the Church warden, I am not here to go on and on being abused by the church of england, including being USED by them in a dud court case at a time when I was sick with trauma and shame at being smeared and slandered by the Jersey Deanery, with no attempt by the Diocese of Winchester to safeguard me from that harm!

And the Diocese of Winchester weren't warning me each new time that I was launched on by police, press and the Bishop of Winchester's duplicious reports in the press and illegal actions that I was helpless against.
So why did Bob, and Julie, seeing I was anguished, slate me for telling the police to get lost and proceed, in liason with the church, to destroy me.

It was pretty much at the same time as the police launched on me, that the Julie-Bob-Jane Fisher-NSPCC rape of me occured.

It started with Bishop Dakin doing his usual bullying act against me, this is where he sends me emails demanding that I read them and demanding that I 'get a friend to read them to me if I won't read them' This is just bullying, Dakin knows that since threatening me for begging the Diocese not to violate me, I did not, and do not read his emails, nor would I inflict his damaging lies on my friends. He knew that Bob Hill was my mediator but he always refused to email Bob, bypassed him and bullied me directly, because he is a coward and a dishonest coward and would not want someone like Bob to witness his bullying, he can't bully Bob, but he and Fisher certainly mislead Bob to seriously harm me.

Anyway, my usual response to the Bishop is 'Get lost, stuff your emails, you bully' or something along those lines.
But then the crisis hit with full force.

I got an email from John Cameron from the NSPCC, it was marked 'Winchester Diocese' and I knew that there was trouble. But I could not begin to imagine what.
So I didn't open Cameron's email then, in fact I didn't open it for months, I simply hovered the mouse over his email address, copied the email address and wrote him an email, cc the police, telling him that no-one was to harass me for the Diocese, and that he was to be aware of that.
It was some months later that I read the email and found that it was Jane Fisher herself, AFTER I HAD MADE YET ANOTHER FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST HER who, having destroyed and destroyed and destroyed, me, was still pretending to care about me, this time to the NSPCC.

Immediately after receiving this email from the NSPCC and emailing them and the police. I contacted Bob and Julie. Telling them that the Bishop was threatening me and the NSPCC had contacted me.

Julie was in Jersey, and it became obvious that something was very wrong when she responded by saying she was cutting short her break in Jersey and flying home to 'sort things out'.
I kept asking her what she was suddenly flying home to sort out, and why, but she wouldn't answer.

Bob was out for his Saturday Afternoon bike ride, he is a creature of habit, I'm sure he is autistic, but never mind. I was completely panicked by the Bishop threatening and bullying me, and more so by the NSPCC, even though I knew there were no children involved. I was not being cruel to a child but I would not put it past the church of england to actually accuse me, because the depth that they will stoop to is incredible, so basically I was wondering what exactly the Church were about to do to destroy me further.

I soon found out when Bob got back from his bike ride.

Bob skyped me, skype is pretty useless at the best of times and I struggle to use it, but he skyped me, as he and were in the habit of doing, but he was talking to me on skype messenger. He told me not to panic and Julie would sort things out.
'Julie will sort WHAT OUT?!'

'Oh, what she was arranging with Christine Daly'.

Those of you who don't know, Christine Daly is a creep who hangs out with Bishop John Gladwin and uses her 'social work expertise' to validate the Church of England's wrongdoing, and who has lied to me and messed me about. Basically she is part of the Church cover up team - Gladwin, Daly, Butler-Sloss, etc, you know what I mean?

Having been let down by Gladwin and Daly, and with Julie and Bob fully aware of my reaction to Julie letting me down and threatening to contact Gladwin, Julie and Bob deceived and abused me by apparently contacting Daly.

Now that Bob had broken this shocking, sickening news, that he and Julie had liased with the Church of England about me behind my back, and presumably thus caused me to shockingly be launched on by Dakin and the NSPCC. Bob simply cut off skype and left me suffering such severe anguish that I very nearly committed suicide.
What Bob and Julie did is illegal and breaks all safeguarding boundaries, and it is no excuse that they don't know about safeguarding, Bob working with me and with care abuse victims and having been a police officer and a deputy in the states of Jersey, does know enough to know that what he and Julie did was heniously wrong, but instead of apologizing, he has only ever slated me, walked away from me as a person and continued to use my case as political ammunition without my consent, and despite evidenced pleas to him to stop.
He also fails to recognize that using one vulnerable adult to abuse another on behalf of the defendants in an abuse and misconduct case is henious.

The unrelenting trauma of that week continued with Dakin making silly and horrible announcements in the press with the assistance of Clueless-Pendragon, his 'PR firm'. Tell me, did Jesus need a PR firm?
The Bishop called me 'lost last and least' reminding the world thus that he has never read a Bible and doesn't know what Christianity is, he is simply in it for the money, the glory and the palace. Remind me to send him a Bible. I can't afford to send a Bible to all the non-Christians in the CofE who have harmed me, but maybe I could team up with the Gideons or another group.

Anyway. The Bishop somehow cleared the Dean, claimed that the Steel report could not be released because of a legal bid - And this does need to be investigated, because how could there have been a legal bid against a report that had not been released?
Basically, the Bishop continued the process of defaming and harming me because he had not investigated my complaints but instead had allowed an engineered report by a conflicted member of the Dean's supporters to replace an investigation into what happened to me that included me.
And again, what the hell did Bob Hill and Julie Wallman think they were doing, handing me over to this Bishop and his diocese behind my back, apparently Julie and Bob thought that these people, decietful and destroying me, could also actually house me, as if they could house me somewhere I felt safe, when they were the very reason I didn't feel safe indoors, that being indoors left me sick and traumatized.

It got worse though.

Bob kept demanding that I sent him the email that the Diocese of Winchester sent me, as usual bulldozing me and ignoring my protests that I do not open or read emails from the Bishop and Diocese of Winchester. So he applied to the Diocese for the email.
The diocese aparently sent him the email, doctored or not.

Bob then told me that Julie had approached a church of england in London - without my permission - Bob claimed that Julie had said she had my permission - but I am sure that Bob would have checked with me if he really believed that, because he knows damn well what my feelings about the church are, he also knows my need for privacy and that it is right and courteous to ask someone before you take action. He and Julie would have been telling me what was going if they had been being honest, and instead I found out as a massive shock and crisis, for which neither apologized, but Bob simply slated me.

So there I was, being told that I had been handed over to my destroyers. I now did not know if they had been told where I was, and because the  Diocese of Winchester had a pattern of harming me, then having me brutalized and imprisoned by police for my reactions, I started expecting the police to turn up at the bed and breakfast. I tried to work out if I could jump from the window to escape, and I stopped sleeping and eating, my worst fears realised.

I would like you to pause and imagine again, what would happen if someone you really hated, who had really hurt you, was allowed to keep on and on and on breaching your human rights, coming round telling you how to live, where to live, and giving their opinion of you to others behind your back. You would consider that to be harassment, stalking, wouldn't you? Bob Hill wouldn't like it happening to him, nor would Julie Wallman or Jane Fisher, they would call the police. I, as a vulnerable adult, have the same rights as Jane and Bob and Julie, but my rights have been constantly and severely overridden, and the police, influenced by Jane Fisher, have refused to stop Jane Fisher and the Diocese of Winchester from stalking and harassing me, while I am left knowing that if I react to the stalking and harassment, the police WILL ASSIST THE DIOCESE in hurting me further. Makes sense?

A note I will add in as I think about it.
The Bishop claimed in the press that 'He was praying that I would accept the help they were 'offering' Can you see why they can't investigate misconduct among their employees? Because they behave exactly the same. The Bishop trying to control me through prayers, just as St. Andrews and the Churchwarden used to try and control people through prayers. God, I need to send these people Bibles!

So, Bob Hill continued to explain to me that Julie had gone to this church official without my consent, despite the severe harm the church were doing to me, and had told them to do something. The something was that they contacted the Diocese of Winchester.
Apparently, again without my consent or knowledge, Bob and Julie then agreed to arranging a meeting with the Diocese, Bob claimed that they were 'going to tell me'.
When, Bob? After your illegal meeting with my destroyers?
But, presumably because Jane Fisher will go to any lengths to prevent me being heard regarding her illegal and vile actions against me, she prevented that from happening. And again, Bob Hill neither realised this nor took it into account.

So what happened was, a meeting went ahead without Bob, or Julie, or me. To shut things down, cover things up, and offer a pretence of help for the Bishop to put in his press release while at the same time absolving the wrongdoers in Jersey without a genuine or fair investigation that included me.

Bob didn't have anything to say about this, he was too busy liasing with his friend Mike Higgins to bait the conflicted Jersey Home Affairs Minister, who also happened to be a Church of ENgland reader and friend and upholder of my abuser, who had stated that it was a sad day when his friend, my abuser, had been sacked from his church previous to taking the churchwarden position in which he abused me.
So Bob and his friend Deputy Mike Higgins were busy baiting Ian LeMarquand, who's conflicts of interest are not named anywhere but my blog, and they were thus getting him to defame and vilify me in the States and local media in response, again not declaring his conflicts of interest. Just as a large number of other people who have vilified me and supported the Dean, Deanery and Churchwarden haven't.

Bob seemed to have absolutely no idea of the serious harm he was doing to me, as you will see from his email in the linked post.
And as a result of Julie's illegal liason with the Church, the Diocese of Winchester had been enabled to illegally launch on me in order to claim in the press that they had offered me help, at the same time as absolving the wrongdoers. Can anyone be as warped, well, can anyone apart from Jane Fisher, be as warped as to think that illegally trying to force and refer help without someone's consent at the same time as discrediting them publicly by clearing the people who have wronged them, without including the person illegally referred for help, is anything to do with helping someone or doing the right thing?

And of course motormouth Boatyboy was adding insult to injury as usual by doing as he does and believing church propaganda and saying about me 'Well, they have offered her help, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink'
Boatyboy. You cannot violently force a horse's head underwater and whip it and expect it to drink, so shut the hell up.
Boatyboy comes out with classics such as 'Isn't it good that the Dean backs the release of the Steel report' , and he broadcast the Church Times slander of me as if it was a good thing, while I had a breakdown. Back to Boatyboy later, what he did after all this horrendous scenario in November 2013 is unbelievable.

Basically I was being hit on all sides, and with absolutely no-one on my side, and Bob Hill slating me and claiming I had made him and Julie ill. AFTER WHAT THEY DID TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Utterly betrayed, deeply shocked and very ill and fearing for my life, well aware that if Jane Fisher now knew where I was because Julie and Bob simply had not given a damn about my life, rights, welfare, privacy or feelings, I knew that Jane Fisher would slander me to every church in the district, just as she did in Jersey and Winchester, while ironically protecting my abuser in Jersey and my abuser in Winchester. I didn't know what to do.
Believe me, things were desparate and I was by a railway line, and the temptation to commit suicide rather than go on being defamed in the press and media and in fear of Jane Fisher's police and the reality that she would go on and on and on and on and on and on and on as long as I lived, violating me, driving me from help, smearing me and branding me and re-branding me. Things were desparate.

So I wrote the best letter I have ever written and to be honest, I am proud of it, because I was very very ill but I wrote with complete clarity, one handed as I was paralysed on one side, and I wrote it despite the fact that I was shaking and being sick. This is the best letter I have ever written:

http://opnlttr.com/letter/1st-open-letter-bishop-winchester-0

This letter has remained constantly as best read letter on my blog.
It mentions Hampshire constabulary, and the fact was that I had contacted them constantly, begging for protection from the Diocese of Winchester after the Diocese illegally, nastily and sickeningly had me traced through Hampshire Constabulary. But as yet, as the Diocese go into their third year of this run of harassment against me, Hampshire Constabulary refuse to protect me from the Diocese of Winchester, they refuse to deal with the complaint about the violation of being illegally traced, and both the IPCC and HMIC refuse to address these matters either.

Anyway. As I said. I was very ill. The weather was terrible, and I was too ill to return to the Streets, the time at the bed and breakfast was coming to an end and Bob Hill was still stupidly, senselessly, trying to force me into the illegal arrangement that the Diocese of Winchester and NSPCC had made.
If you read the linked post, you will see that Bob Hill had been duped into thinking that the NSPCC would house me.
And my emails to the NSPCC show that is not the case. So what other deviousness and illegal action had been planned by the Diocese of Winchester and NSPCC, I do not know, what I do know is that it was and is a very very serious and criminal matter, because I consented to nothing, and these people, the diocese of winchester, were destroying me. Bob incredibly claims that I have won a victory in that the Diocese of Winchester will pay for my accommodation for the rest of my life.


  • Firstly: There is no victory in the people who have destroyed me and who I am on the run from being able to violate and harm me through someone I trusted.
  • Secondly, the Diocese of Winchester did not have my consent to house me or pay for my housing.
  • Thirdly, who would they be paying? The NSPCC don't offer accommodation.
  • Fourthly, they had disrupted my therapy, which I paid a lot for, while homeless and eating from bins, why were the diocese not offering money for my therapy or offering compensation? 
  • Basically, the Diocese were not going to pay for my accommodation, they were attempting, as far as I can see, to incarcerate me, using the NSPCC as a third party to avoid liability. 
  • Bob means well, but he was completely and utterly misguided in aiding the Diocese in Destroying me.
It is a cold and broken hallelujah, but despite the lasting damage, I smashed the lot of them. Bob, Julie, the evil Diocese of Winchester, the NSPCC, who I still have a formal complaint against them.
I smashed them all in the teeth, but the cost to me was huge.

I was ill, as I said. And the weather was bad.
I considered myself to be at severe risk from the Diocese and police.
I had been indoors for a few weeks and could not safely return to the streets direct from indoors, ill and in bad weather, I had been considerably weakened by trauma.
It was the Tuesday after the Saturday when all hell had broken loose, and I was due to leave the bed and breakfast on the Thursday, and I was terrified to be there, in case the police arrived. 

I got back to the Bed and Breakfast.

I switched the computer on.

There was a message.

I spent the next few hours trying to contact my adoptive mum, the phone signal was not good in the bed and breakfast and Mum is scatty about her phone at the best of times.
It was Tuesday, I needed an answer.

Eventually Mum answered, and said she was on her way over.

That day, my adoptive parents and someone else worked a miracle.

Those of you who know the Bible, do you remember Moses and the Israelites escaping from the Egyptians? I know it so well because of course it is the Passover Story, and whenever I hear it, I hear my Dad's voice telling the story.
'Let the Fiery Cloudy Pillar lead me all my journey through'


The Pillar of Fire stayed with the Moses and kept the Egyptians from harming them.
Then they crossed the sea, and it parted either side of them.
And when the Egyptians tried to follow, the walls of the sea fell on them and they were drowned.

Well that isn't quite what happened that week when I escaped the Diocese of Winchester, but it was dramatic.
It didn't bring Jane Fisher's reign of terror against me to an end, nor did it stop the Diocese from continuing to destroy me, but God, it was pretty damn awesome! Thank You Jesus! In the same miraculous way, bring the evil of the Diocese of Winchester to the ground! 

On Thursday that week, still expecting the police, and to be trapped, beaten, sectioned, called mad by jeering police, and everything I had already been made to suffer, I checked out of the bed and breakfast, and they obviously were not expecting that, I have no idea what Julie and her evil friend, Jane Fisher had arranged, but whatever it was, there was no way I could stop the damage they had done to my safety and reputation there or in the local churches and district. What mattered to me was that the fiery cloudy pillar was guarding me, and no police appeared as I started my journey.

I remained Shattered as I went forwards. To the people who I chose to trust with the next step of my life.
The Evil Diocese didn't go away or stop hurting me, but it remains with me that when they nearly killed me in November 2013, I managed to punch them in the throat and escape.

Julie Wallman didn't go away either.
Although she knew I was a churchgoer and went to church on Sundays, she was ringing and texting me on Sunday mornings, asking me to go and see her and telling me how she still wanted to help me. I couldn't believe it after what she had done! 
And this time she and Bob seemed separated instead of the Church of England style 'Us against her' That Jane Fisher or Christine Daly appeared to have taught them.

Julie said, and yes I still have all the records of this, that she still wanted to help me and could we meet up.
I replied, oh yes, you want me to come to London to be ambushed by your police and church?
She said oh, maybe lets not meet up then.
She didn't say 'No, I am not going to trick you trap you,or have you ambushed or injured.
But she kept it up.
She said she wanted to 'help me' seeming to forget how she had just had me destroyed and had lied so terribly about being able to help me when she couldn't.
I replied that she could help me by getting me a pair of walking boots.
Oh no, that was not the kind of 'help' she meant.
She really thought she could continue to trick and harm me. 
I find it inconceivable the level of evil in the Church 
of England, that they would harm too vulnerable adults by pitting them against each other like that. Julie is a vulnerable alcoholic abuse survivor, neither Bob nor the church should have stooped so low as to use her.

Anyway, I emailed Bob, and very politely put it to him that this was unacceptable.

Julie immediately stopped.

Then Boatyboy decided to hurt me some more, he sent some money to the Dean of Jersey for me, basically as well as being a thicko, he is a sicko. So that money was sent by the Dean to the Diocese, who contacted Bob Hill and asked if they could send it to the NSPCC for me! 
I never saw that money, I remain furious that there are people like Boatyboy who deliberately harm vulnerable people.
But being reminded of the NSPCC, I looked up Cameron's emails and it turned out it was Jane Fisher, my abuser and destroyer, who had referred me to the NSPCC, loud and proud, despite my formal complaints against her, another jeer, another pretence of care while raping me. 

As for my life, despite these and ongoing traumas due to the Church of England, I have rebuilt my life steadily. My recover started in 2012, when I decided to live and not commit suicide, and has been steady despite the serious and horrendous harm by the Diocese along the way and even to this day.

Julie went on to give the care inquiry a life story that was at odds with the one she told to me, and also at odds with the one she had used as political canvassing, although when I pointed that out to Bob Hill, the political canvassing article with one of Julie's three life stories was swiftly removed from the internet., because the Jersey way extends to the bloggers and their political allies.

Bob ceased to act for me, never having apologized or put things right, too self-righteous, he abandoned me to support care survivors, but continued to blog and do media interviews about my case without my consent. But refused to do a media interview with me or support me in court against the Diocese, but without my consent, tried to do his own court case, which of course I objected to, and have had his care survivors slating me because he complained to them about it. He has failed me, and maybe that was the aim of the Diocese, Bob is too much of a threat to them, with all the evidence he has, but because they have separated me from him, and he refuses to give evidence on my behalf, the evidence is wasted and the Diocese really won in that respect, as well as Jane Fisher being able to use Julie Wallman as evidence against me for my reaction to her terrible deception and illegal behaviour.

As for me, if it wasn't for the Church of England and living in fear of them and their press releases and police. I would be in paradise. I rebuilt one hell of a life. But every day I expect it all to be destroyed, by the Church of England.

What happens to people who cannot rebuild their lives? What happens to the voiceless vulnerable?
This is what I ask the Church over and over and over, they have in every way destroyed me, and the scars are red raw, but I chose life, others are forced to death.
When is something going to be done?


   















































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