Sunday, 8 March 2015

Evil? Or misguided?

For example, did Bailhache know, that I was egged on to do certain things and was told that they were legal, for example writing notices and sticking them to St. Andrews church or the churchwarden's house or re-directing spammers to spam the churchwarden, I was told that these were legal and that the churchwarden's unrepentance and arrogance deserved them, however I never did some other suggestions, such as weedkilling the churchwarden's garden or even worse suggestions.

The notices on the church were designed to help the church who had closed ranks against me in support of the churchwarden, to understand my side of things.
It is incredible that even then, at that late stage, I still thought that the church were Christians.

The notices and letters I wrote and stuck on the church and house were mainly not dated, and I have no doubt that the deanery have abused that, because they claim that the reason the Dean saw the churchwarden first was because I was harassing the churchwarden.
No, the churchwarden and his wife were slandering me to the church they had segregated me in, and throughout the church community where they were prominent figures, this made me an outcast in a small island community and left me deeply hurt, and more so when Jane Fisher covered up by denying that it ever happened. I was answering back to what the churchwarden was doing. And had the Dean received both complaints, it would still not have made sense for him to deal with both at the same time and also it didn't make sense that he saw the churchwarden first, as the chruchwarden was a known offender, who had been allowed to take me in, be alone with me even in the church and even when people witnessed inappropriate behaviour.

The churchwarden had deliberately separated me from the church coming between me and other friendly church members, telling them that I was his responsibility and they were to keep their distance. I still didn't know at the time that this is exactly what abusers do.

And worse, this is also what some abusers do. While I was with the churchwarden, as I deteriorated, he and his wife told other people of my distress, in their own terms, to get sympathy, making my distress out to be my disability and not my reaction to what was going on.

Philip Bailhache makes the situation out to be a happy family one, but it was never that.
The churchwarden for some reason wanted a daughter, he didn't pay any attention to his infant grandaughter, he wanted a daughter, and his wife didn't, she made that clear and said so, and called me a burden, I had already been belittled so much by people in the church of england who have no understanding of poverty, disability or vulnerability.

The damage to me was not just sexual abuse by psychological abuse, being told I was 'daughter' but kept from the rest of the family, and left out of family occasions, belittled by the churchwarden's wife and regressed to childhood by the churchwarden and made to talk about rape and other sexual things while he touched me or sat me on his knees.
Then I spoke up, and had Juliet Montague phoning me up, trying to tell me it was my problem because I went to the churchwarden's workplace - she failed to also mention that I always did so at his request, or in the end, when I wanted him to face and resolve what had been going on. And again, that is typical church of england closing ranks, and if the press ever actually heard the extent of this closing ranks, which is not mentioned in ANY report, then it would make a story.

Obviously neither Bailhache nor the Dean nor the former Bishop and his wife, nor Jane Fisher, and certainly not Juliet Montague, understand abuse and it's effects, they have focussed only on blaming and smearing me, covering up and omitting my side from any investigation, and none of what you read above, is included in the Steel report, so how can the report be anything other than a whitewash.  Back to Juliet, her denial of abuse and defence of wrongdoers was consistent through the time I knew her, she made her step-daughter out to be a liar, although that girl could not have ended up in the shocking state she did without being abused, and she defended Malcolm Eastlake at my expense, making me out to be as bad as him, a paedophile, for being on the autistic spectrum, the depths of church of England ignorance and outright wrongdoing is astounding, but it is all blithely axplained away in the Korris report at my expense, so what is the point of these reports? They show, to those who know, that the church is in the dark ages, and to those whop do not know or who are as ignorant as the church, the church is making the impression of caring and doing the right thing.

And as I say, time and time again, what happens to the voiceless, who cannot write as I do? Well they don't get deported in their pyjamas and then slandered and driven from their home town, destitute and branded for life, but they also never get heard by the church or get justice, the only victims I know who have been heard in the media and through speaking out as I do, are Theresa Cooper and Eli Ward, who are both scarred for life by the abuse they suffered and the injustice they faced from the church as a result.

The Dean's recent behaviour in demanding publication of the report does not show a man with a clean conscience, it shows a man who has got his own way in hijacking a report and is smug about it, he calls Dame Steel a 'respected Jersey Judge', well she isn't respected except by her close colleagues Bridget Shaw, the wife of the Rector of St. Clements, and Philip and William Bailhache and Michael Birt, all part of the Dean's church and circle, and the fact that they are in judiciary and in the church doesn't mean that they are good or honest, and in this day and age, people should know that.

So, what of my abuser now? Last I heard, he nd his wife had invited a female visitor from the Town Church home, as he know attends the Town Church and was applying to be warden there, I wasn't his first female guest, and I wouldn't be the last, of course, but he is well established and looked after by Bob Key's church, while Bob Key demands his report, and not a single member of the church will forgive what I did as the result of trauma, but instead try to blanket defame and shame me for their version of my past.
Isn't it time the church started taking my story instead of upholding this? Ah, but Jane Fisher openly upheld it, blamed me for an attack on me by a Jersey priest, based on 'what he had heard' from St. Andrews, and tried to do the same as the Dean and Deanery in lumping my past, or their version, and upheld them in it.

This is what Bailhache refers to as me 'Making complaints in Guernsey and Hampshire' Which I didn't, Jill and George Lihou are the parents in law of the priest who attacked me on grounds of 'what he had heard' and Jill and George are church members who lived in Hampshire but moved to Guernsey, they made my life hell and I never made a complaint about them, ever, the Jersey Deanery, with the help of the priest who attacked me, brought them into the Jersey matter while I was still in Jersey, to strengthen the case for the churchwarden who they were defending, and to take away my credibility, basically what has happened in the last few years with the Jersey Deanery slandering and libelling me is only what was happening in Jersey when I was there, and if you think of it that way, then you can see how neither Fisher nor Korris were credible in rubbishing my distress as paranoia.

On the subject of Fisher, when this matter is properly investigated, which both Fisher and the Deanery hope has been permenantly prevented, someone needs to ask Fisher which 'Jersey Politician' she was boasting about meeting with about me: Bailhache? LeMarquand? Or numerous other conflicted church-states-judiciary-freemasons?

The fact remains that I was not just 'punished' for reacting to the terrible damage to me in Jersey, I was destroyed, and Jane Fisher and Scott-Joynt went all-out to destroy me again when I returned to Winchester, not a scrap of integrity or compassion, they publicly, in front of my old friends, in my home town, destroyed me, and I nearly died, but I saved my own life, and remain crippled, and then the church have destroyed me over again.

The Church of England, as well as being without safeguarding, without care, and without understanding, are without forgiveness, and have spent two years destroying me again and making me live in fear, now how much more wrong than my traumatized actions, are theirs, from their places of power and wealth and stability, when they have never suffered abuse and do not know in the slightest or care, about the ongoing damage done to me? How can I forgive myself? When I am publicly flogged indefinitely, for reacting to years of harm by the church? This matter  isn't hurting a single other person, no one else has even been or seemingly even will be, disciplined, reprimanded, or even enlightened to my side of things.

What I have written and what I can write, and even the 20 hours of tape recordings, does not tell the full story, and so I am waiting for an inquiry that includes me.


No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.