Apology, I repeatedly got Jo's husband's name wrong, which shows the state I am in. I am sorry.
A bit outside of the scope of my blog but I thought this would be an exercise in writing to help try to bring me out of my stupor. The stupor is because the church and press and safeguarding board relaunched their attack and destroyed the tattered remains of my life.
Yesterday afternoon, or was it lunchtime. Sitting here in the stupor that the severe trauma of the latest onslaught by the Church, press and 'safeguarding partnership' have caused. I was on twitter.
Breaking news started that 'an MP had been shot'.
My image was of a gunman randomly firing into a crowd and just happening to hit an MP who was out and about in the town. I thought it might be a gang war type thing.
It wasn't very long before details began to emerge.
The MP, Jo Cox, had obviously been specifically targeted, and not only shot but also stabbed.
Someone else was injured, but not much has been said about that. But at the time, Jo had been rushed to hospital and was in critical condition.
The news told of scenes of panic as people tried to get away from the gunman, and how the gun was a makeshift gun.
How did this man get or make a makeshift gun? Well unfortunately it is possible to get weapons in the UK, I remember hiding behind a car with my brother when a madman with a crossbow went past when I was 14. That was life back then.
Anyway, I was kind of out of my stupor by then, Talking on twitter to other horrified people, including those who encouraged me to play on the swear machine, disrespectful? Maybe but maybe necessary, how can people come to terms with such horrifying news? I needed something to release pressure. So I played on the swearword generator with my pals.
What a horrifying thing to happen.
Jo Cox was on the news last year at the general election, with her reaction to being elected. I remember her trying to express her reaction to her election. She was so alive and happy.
The thing was with Jo Cox, and I don't mean this as a useless smear on some other MPs, she was actually qualified to represent people, she had a track record of public and voluntary service and she knew and understood human problems and suffering, she cared. It feels to me as if some MPs went to top boarding schools and have had everything handed to them on a plate and do not have the same experience that Jo did, they qualified as MP's by their social status not life experience. Jo lived in the very real world and used that in her work as an MP, for example in her speech on refugee children, she talked about how if those were her children suffering like that, she would do anything to get them out of that situation. Her work with the NSPCC and other charities meant she really knew about human problems and she really qualified as an MP because she could represent people and she continued her community work whilst also being an MP.
Jo Cox was attacked as she left an advice surgery that she was holding for her constituents. She didn't provoke an attack as someone suggested early on, and no-one can 'provoke' an attack in that way, because no one has a right to such violence. People say such stupid things about tragedies and injustice sometimes.
And of course the debate is in full spate now with stupid things being said all round.
Tragically Jo died within a few hours of the attack on her.
When that news broke, all I could think of was that someone had to go and tell her children, and that made me feel sick.
I may be autistic and with reactive attachment disorder and having only known hell in terms of family, but I care about human beings, I can't love them, I am close to being affectionless but I can care, and I do. And maybe I care more since the lesson of Bob Hill collapsing while trying to defend me. I have fought in spirit and prayer for Bob Hill's life for six months and the only good thing that has happened recently is that he has recovered enough to be safe home with his family.
Mothers are very important, children need them. What a lame thing to say, but it's true.
Jo Cox's husband was incredible in the statement he released, advocating fighting the hate and not taking part in it. It was a profound statement for someone who had just lost his wife to hatred. He and Jo obviously shared the same values, values that are vital in this world where selfishness is overwhelming. Jo and Brendan cared about people, and Jo became an MP because she cared. The world becomes more cold and with Jo's death, we can't afford to lose people like that.
One of the horrible arguments over Jo's death is that there were claims that the attacker shouted 'Britain First'. This has been used to start political fights. Firstly, why would the gunman shout that, while killing a British MP? Secondly, no one who murders a person has the interests of Britain at heart. Thirdly, someone deranged enough to kill doesn't represent anyone unless they are very sick.
And fourth, why use this alleged shouting by the gunman as politics? A woman is dead, a wife, a mother, someone who cared and represented the vulnerable.
Someone claimed that the arresting officers heard the gunman shouting this, but seeing as they arrived some time later and had to chase him, that is a bit silly.
Then the vicious fighting to do with this being to do with the European Union, and then it is used politically. A human being is dead, and the fighting and viciousness over the European Union so far has shown Britain at it's worst, people need to grow up a bit. And you simply can't be psychopathic enough to use a tragedy as ammo in a fight that has already gone into the sewers.
The other dreadful happening regarding the attacker and the press is the use of his 'mental illness'.
Now let me be realistic and non-controversial. There is no doubt that this man was mentally ill, anyone who kills in cold blood is either deranged, psychopathic, or evil and aware of what they are doing.
I do not know if the murder was pre-meditated. But I am sure the man was seriously mentally ill.
However, the misuse of the word 'mental illness' by the press and public without discrimination can be a slur on all people with mental illnesses. Mental illness covers a range of conditions from anxiety to psychopathy, and a vast majority of people with mental health problems wouldn't dream of committing violent acts.
So to use Mental illness as a reason for the murder without distinguishing between types of mental illness or actually name the illness. The press should be more responsible than to spread stigma.
I myself have been slurred and smeared as 'mentally ill' by the wrongdoers in my case, as an excuse for themselves, which is terrible and very damaging.
I hope that Jo's husband and children manage to cope and are well supported. My thoughts are with them. Jo's husband's statement regarding fighting the hatred was a brave statement from someone bereaved in such a way. I hope that the children are able to grow up feeling the same, because as well as such a public tragedy, the media attention will be overwhelming.
I have just read that a forensic psychologist claims that most people who attack politicians are mentally ill loners. It is terrible how deep this horrible attitude goes. I could be considered a loner because I can't cope with people and I prefer long hours of silence alone, the Jersey Deanery have tried to make me out to be mentally ill in the stigma and mad sense, and I suffer PTSD, but I don't attack politicians, I don't like violence. I don't like the church of england abusing their power and abusing me, but I have no intention of attacking them, just persisting in asking for justice.
Generalisations about mental illness are inappropriate in this day and age especially from people in authority, and such attitudes don't help and they make life harder for vulnerable people with mental health concerns.
Now the headline is that the killer had neo-nazi links. I will refrain from mentioning the Church of England at this point, I think people will speculate and argue and the press will have a field day, that is what happens.
A caring woman with a family who loved her is dead. That is the real headline and the real news, never mind argument or speculation.
Here is the statement and tribute by Jo's husband Brendan c/o The Independent Newspaper, if you haven't seen it yet, please do: