Regarding Bob Hill.
I redact what I said last week, it was said in fury as he was rubbing raw wounds. I apologise.
Bob Hill should have been enjoying his retirement. He shouldn't have been trying to put right the wrongs of the church or the authorities in Jersey.
The UK government should be intervening in Jersey and putting the henious corruption and safeguarding failures right, not leaving it to a retired man who has a disabled wife to look after.
But apparently instead, the UK government are allowing Jersey dignitaries to intervene in the UK care inquiry, which is henious. I am sure the Jersey care inquiry have been briefed on this as well as how to let the Jersey dignitaries off the hook.
The States of Jersey are responsible for providing safeguarding and witness support and justice and safety for the vulnerable and abuse survivors, and they don't, so Bob spent his retirement on helping people who were suffering, and the States did nothing. Bob's wife is disabled and Bob worked hard all his life. Why was he the only one standing up for me and for others, when the States have used the press and media to hurt me and other victims? What exactly are the safeguarding board there for? Well I gather they are there to protect abusers, the same as Jersey police are, but things need to change. it shouldn't cost the life of innocent people for things to change.
Why did Bob get taken ill? well for two and a half years, rightly or wrongly, he has caused himself and me stress by taking on my case when my case was set up to exonorate the people who have harmed me and lay all the blame on me. The desparation by the States in their use of the press and media to smear me once again recently shows that something went wrong with what the church had planned with their whitewash conflicted Korris smear report followed by the tandem steel and jersey unsafeguarding smears set up and overseen by Gull and Johnstone in liason with the abuser Jane Fisher.
Bob's interventions couldn't change the fact that the whole case had been mapped out and planned to exclude me and eventually have me imprisoned and destroyed again, that remains the case and for me it has been a long two and half year wait, with complete puzzlement at the desparation of the Jersey Deanery, to the point that they spent a thousand pounds of tax payer's money when Jersey's economy is in a shocking state, just to try to get the conflicted Steel report released.
and Jersey safeguarding partnership stood and watched, and didn't see what the problem was.
So, having failed, the Jersey Deanery and associated states members attacked in the press and media again, abusing their power and misleading people while the 'safeguarding' partnership who's Stuart Gull had illegally acted with regard my case, looked on again and ignored my complaints to them.
Bob Hill, having been asked by me over and over again not to waste his retirement on my case when it was a set up and all he was doing was prolonging and worsening the anguish, launched into the media with his latest blog and on BBC Jersey, despite me having banned this.
It was the last thing he did, and the last thing I did in response was attack him and call him names.
And I will have to live with that, and on top of everything else I can't live with, this is a last straw, I can't recover physically or mentally from the latest onslaught and it shouldn't have cost Bob Hill his life.
If he recovers, someone else, someone who he listens to, needs to make sure he rests and enjoys his time with his family.
He can't do any more for me, I am already ruined, defamed, publicly smeared and lied about and discredited, with the active help of Jersey police and safeguarding board. I am done for, but my death is slow and agonizing and drags on year after year. There has been no justice, no arrangement for my side to be heard and investigated, and even Bob never met with me and heard me, and instead used the Korris smear report as a guide and anguished me. He shouldn't even have had to, the Korris report was illegal and had no right to be published and Bob and Neil, even meaning well, have left me sick with distress in repeatedly reproducing parts of it as if it were fact, which is one of the reasons I raged at him, he couldn't see how much he was hurting and humiliating me.
If I could trade places with Bob, so that he could be well and happy and with his family at home, while I, the branded hated worthless one, could be finished and out of my misery, then I would trade, right here and now.
I may be responsible for Bob's situation because he shouldn't and couldn't go on carrying me, and the other survivors while Jersey failed them. But Jersey's safeguarding board and social services and States are also responsible, for leaving him to carry us, indeed worsening the situation with their illegal part in the cover-ups, when Bob should have been enjoying retirement. And now that he has gone, who is left of the human rights activists in Jersey? Who is left who hasn't been ruined for fighting for justice and human rights, who is left who isn't fearful for their own safety for speaking up? Not many.
Jersey is getting worse, the actions of the Bailhache brothers and their servants Gorst and the Governor regarding my case recently have been so blatant and open, even spending a thousand pounds of tax payers money openly and withour fear of account, while Bailhahce tried to close the care inquiry due to cost! Why would a man who wants to deny a voice to hundreds of victims be demanding an 'abuse report' to be released?
The recent safeguarding failure serious case review led to the usual 'lessons will be learned (but not in our time)' lines being trotted out. So when will lessons be learned? When a few more lives are lost? Or never?
Bob shouldn't have been in a position where he was the only person defending me and I was out of my mind and furious that he was still acting in my case without consent, I know I said terrible things but why is Jersey safeguarding partnership allowing me to be driven to the end of my tether? Why have they left Bob Hill safeguarding me against a paedophile protector and a bunch of equally corrupt and dishonest States-Church members? Why hasn't Jersey learned anything from the embarrassment of being international news in 2008 because of abuse and the failure of the States, judiciary and social services? Why are they standing by while the same States members who failed those children are killing me, have left Bob in a critical condition?!
Bob refused to stop acting in my case and others, no matter what abuse I hurled, no matter how upset I was, and he has a disabled wife to look after, and the safeguarding board and police not only let my case go on in this terrible way, they left Bob struggling with it while they were complicit in allowing and aiding the corrupt states-church members!
How much is a human life worth to the Jersey authorities?
Well, it depends on who you are, doesn't it?!
If Bob makes any recovery, I sincerely hope that he will listen to his family and not return to the fight for human rights, for his own sake. But now with Bob not defending my case, what are safeguarding going to do? Aid the police and church in finishing me off with the whitewash set up reports on Jane Fisher and the Deanery of Jersey's behalf? Presumably, yes, because no one oversees Jersey police and safeguarding, they are a corrupt, ineffective law unto themselves, that is why a good man has wasted his retirement doing their job for them and is in critical condition in hospital.
I will never forgive myself.
I intended to redact that furious email calling Bob an abuser for launching into the press and media without warning again when I have told him repeatedly not to, I also, while I have been ill in bed, taped my concerns about Bob and Neil representing my case without warning or consent and had it transcripted yesterday to send to them. Too late. Bob isn't a bad man, or an abuser, I am sorry I said he was, but he did leave me screaming with anguish over the way he represented my case, because he wasn't listening to me, wasn't warning me when he was going to release things or checking with me for accuracy.
I go mad because I have suffered more than anyone can live with. Now I have to live with the fact that the last thing Bob did before being taken ill was try to represent me when blatant lies about me and my case were being read out, and the last thing I did was call him names and scream at him to leave my case alone.
Are the care inquiry really going to leave Jersey knowing that they are leaving an island that is in such a desparate state that men like Bob Hill have to give their lives to try and change things because those in authority are active in keeping the bad, dark, abusive and corrupt practices in place? Are the care inquiry really going to leave Jersey knowing that they and the authorities were told over and over again about the situation with the Bailhache brothers, the Dean, the States, are they really going to leave and not see that things change in Jersey? It is looking that way and Bob gave his life and time to make sure there was a care inquiry, and he gave his testimony and I and others think that the way he was interviewed by the inquiry was dissapointing.
And then they won't even interview me, and I have experience of how bad the systems in Jersey are, as well as having witnessed active protection of paedophiles.
The last straws are raining down, and presumably the people attacking me and trying to force the release of their whitewash reports will have no respect for Bob and no regard for his or my welfare and will now press on with their attacks relentless, with the safeguarding joke board eager to assist them.
What kind of State is Jersey, to allow a paedophile protector to openly attack a vulnerable adult he has never met and use the press and media to do so, while a retired man uses his retirement to try to defend her? Are the care inquiry really going to turn their backs and claim that this is not in their remit. If they do, then the same Paedophile protector was right when he said they were not worth the tax payer's money.