Sunday, 23 February 2014

Autism Jersey Part 1

Philip LeClaire worked for Autism Jersey, and several people had recommended his help by the time I made contact with him.

I actually met him before I made contact with him, funnily enough I met him at St. Andrews Church, where I was with (the churchwarden and his wife).
Philip and his wife and son ***, who has Asperger Syndrome, came to St. Andrews to pick up some clothes and odds and ends that the church had to dispose of from a fete.
Autism Jersey had just started a charity shop and needed the clothes and odds and ends for stock.

The Churchwarden was hugging me as we sorted out the things for autism Jersey, and a lady came downstairs from church and saw him but said nothing and did nothing and the Churchwarden pulled away from me.

When I made contact with Philip as a potential client of Autism Jersey, he was kind and friendly.
Which he was for a lot of the time I knew him but he was overstetched with work and the extra
stress must have been hard for him.
Credit to him for the lengths he went to to help me and to help others with Autism!

I did not meet Philip for a while after making contact with him, I didn't meet him until things started going downhill, and I was so used to my privacy being violated that I begged him not to contact the Churchwarden couple about me, and was impressed when he said that he would not dream of making contact about me without my permission.

I was not sure how Philip could help me, I had been having counselling when I first contacted him but was not benefitting greatly, could not bond with the counsellor and couldn't afford to keep the counselling going. I was not sure how Philip could help me. And while having counselling and while the churchwarden couple were involved with me, I did not want too much extra support as I get overwhelmed by being too supported and I have meltdowns, which means I collapse and get angry and things.
(now thought to be caused by reactive attachment disorder that went untreated when I was young).

I met Philip at some point, and he was nice, but I realised he was virtually running Autism Jersey on his own.
He was the only full-time member of staff and the only paid member of staff as far as I know, although ******** may have been paid.

Philip ran the office, courses for schools, businesses and organizations, helpline, office, and oversaw everything, deeply and passionately commited to making life better for people with autism and people around them.

Autism Jersey had a team of volunteers, these ran the shop and did fundraising and other work. I helped in the shop sometimes and also helped on checkpoints for the sponsored walk that raised money for Autism Jersey, I also counted the money that came in through collection boxes, mainly small change.

The person who was most involved apart from Philip was ******* ******, who had an office next to Philip's office. I remember her saying something about putting her head through the door to speak to me, and as I sometimes do with things like that, I looked startled and Philip and ******* laughed because it didn't mean literally putting her head through the door. But we always remembered that and laughed about it.
(despite being quite adept at figures of speech and metaphors once I know them, I can still be caught out by them and see literal pictures when they are used)

******* ran a befriending scheme which she put me on, but it takes a long time to match clients to befrienders, so it was months before we found me a befriender. The aim was to encourage me to socialise and be less isolated.

Philip wasn't aware of the full extent of the churchwarden situation until some time after I met him, he knew there were problems though.

It wasn't until I didn't turn up for an appointment at the supported employment centre that they realised I was in real difficulties and contacted Philip as they said it was unlike me to not turn up.

I was struggling and I was on an anti-depressant/sedative combination which was preventing me from waking up or staying awake and that is why I missed the appointment.

Philip made contact and I met with him, I told him everything and he wanted me to see a social worker with him and he mentioned the police.

Philip really stepped in to support me then, and especially as Bob Key messed up the complaint and left me struggling more and I phoned Philip's supportline one evening as I was so upset.

Philip was very supportive but the damage done to me by the churchwarden couple was really bad, I had been regressed so I was '****'s 'little girl' and I had been hurt and belittled and was now alone with no 'God-sent family' and then Bob Key was confronting me and obstructing my complaint.
but Philip got my agreement to get someone from social services in, he assured me that Social Services in Jersey were good, not like Social Services in England.

So we met with ******, the social worker and she heard everything, was nice, and talked to me about getting the police involved.

Eventually, I agreed with Philip and ****** to go to the police, they told me I had to make the decision but they did not want **** to do the same again to anyone else.

The police met us for an initial interview and told us that due to the caseload from Haute de la Garenne, they would have to delay interviewing me.

In the meantime I went to England as I saw the churchwarden couple wherever I went and it was upsetting me, and **** laughed when he saw me, as if my complaint was a joke. I have a feeling that he thought his connections and friendship with the right people would get him let off entirely, as well as his story of how the regression and abuse were his method of healing me.

I had a nightmare time lost in Hampshire, not able to really be part of my old community or settle, not enough money to live on and no-one to turn to, with JM, due to her involvement in Jersey with the Dean and the churchwarden couple, and her discussion of it with her family - as usual not respecting professional boundaries, giving me a hard time.

Before I had left England, I had contacted the leader of an evangelizing walk that the churchwarden couple were due to go on, the reason for this was that he had told me stories of inappropriate conversation he had had on previous such walks, with young females. The evangelist who led the walk was also the one who had been in Jersey for the 'Mission', the awful brainwashing stunt that that type do.
(I am scarred by their awful games).

I had two trips back to Jersey during my time in Hampshire, to do police statements, I do not remember much, I must have met DC **** and I was also interviewed in a house with a video so my evidence was videoed.

I will never forget the way ****** tried so hard not to laugh, and so did the policewoman, when I described sex when I was asked to.
I think they had to wait until later to go and howl with laughter because even I knew it was funny.

After six weeks, still deeply damaged and depressed, I returned to Jersey to new lodgings as I had had to give up my old tenancy. I remained deeply depressed and the churchwarden couple were on the radio about how they were running the church fete and their number was given out to anyone who had things to donate. I was angry that neither Bob Key nor the Diocese had done anything about ****, but they still haven't.

My new home was with an old army associate of Philip's. (Perfectly safe, and it was coincidental and not due to Philip that I found that home).

I went to work in a factory up until christmas as there was no outdoor work available. (It was soul destroying and I remembered how the churchwarden family would 'never do work like this, as I had been told several times).

A wait of a month or two went by before the police released the results of the investigation into the churchwarden, and I remember how distressed and anxious I was, as I continued to see the churchwarden couple leading church groups. Philip continued to work hard to help me through these times. (poor man, I think it was unfair that he had all the strain as well as being overloaded at work).

I do not know why the Korris report states that Hampshire police investigated as well as Jersey police?

Jersey Police sent the results by email, nothing could be more shocking and distressing!
They said they had let **** go due to not enough evidence.

I was very upset indeed, to be alone with this email. (which triggered a terrible situation)
Not only had they let him go but had let him go to go round saying he was cleared. He was already getting me shunned by claiming to the tight evangelical clique that he was innocent and I was something bad, and he was already using JM and the Lihous and Warrens and Keys in this. The fact he had been able to isolate me in church and give his side of the relationship all along made it all the easier for him be believed and me to be villified.

Jersey police should have met with me and someone responsible and told me things properly.

because they didn't, they left me in a state where I was in a bad way and they used that to enforce the Jersey way, and punish me for reporting abuse, the violence and insults and police detention I received that day was more punishment that churchwarden has ever received and it is on my records, along with all the other brutalizations and detentions, to punish me until my dying day, and that is why I wish I was dead. (the message is, being an abuser is fine, being a victim and speaking up is not!).

The ensuing situation also broke my trust for Philip, but the Korris report omits it and Korris does not appear to know what happened.
And Philip's memory proved dodgy while I was in Jersey and he recounted situations back to me incorrectly at times, so if she interviewed him, he may have also misrepresented things by accident.

I will always be grateful to Philip for the lengths he went to to help me and sorry that it didn't work out. He hurt me inadvertantly, and I hurt him, but my situation was spiralling rapidly out of control from reporting the churchwarden onwards, the damage by the churchwarden and the church response was so severe, I could feel it in everything, and with no access to psychological support, there was little hope of recovery as I continued to be hurt in that small island community for reporting the churchwarden.

Philip is one of the people who showed me by example why there is such good in Catholic morals and ways, he is one of the first Catholics I had ever spoken to at any length, as far as I know.
I am sorry Philip, that it became such a mess.

The damage in my life remains and even now, paying for my own therapy, I am still in a bad way and still have to cancel therapy due to poverty, and I still get angry and hurt myself and others with my words.
Is there a better future ahead? I can only persevere.
Philip's help is lasting, because he was such a rock during bad times, and because he introduced me to the Catholic church and that is how I met some of the best friends I have, who have stayed with me through the bad times and through Diocese of Winchester attempts to separate me and them.

And it was the words of those Catholics that saved my life, they told me that 'My perceived wrongs were between me and God, and the Church of England had no right to judge me'.
The Church of England's condemnation would have killed me in 2011 if the Catholics had not shown me a new view of things, because I could not live under the shame and condemnation, sadly even the knowledge now that God forgives me does not change the fact that the Diocese may kill me yet with their harmful interventions.

Thanks Philip.


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