Thursday, 27 February 2014

Lets go back 16 (Only a brief post today, I am not well) written in 2011 the same as the others

Then one day the girl from the sheltered house in L. turned up at work, the one who wore my clothes and did her hair and glasses to look like me, she was trying to get a job on the estate and was asking to come and work on my team, even though she had never had an atom of interest in gardening at the sheltered house, I found out in time to explain to my supervisor that I was not at all comfortable with this, and so this girl was put on other teams and not ours, she went on the other horticultural team and was unsuccessful, and didn’t do well on her trials in other teams, but she was onsite and I had to avoid areas of the site where she was, this caused upset, disruption to my work and distress, I did not want to see her cold empty eyes staring at me, to see her wearing my old clothes and with her hair and glasses like mine.

 I was freaking out, then at home I started getting silent phone calls as well, not necessarily her, I have no idea who, but I was now suffering anxiety badly and I was scared to come to work, then I heard that this girl was thinking of moving to where I was, but she failed in her placements on different teams on the estate, and so she left. But she  continued to cause me distress on my weekend visits to Winchester, including sticking behind me like glue in the North Walls Parade, no matter that I kept changing form back to front to middle of the parade, and even now in my return to Winchester as a homeless person this horrible girl still causes me distress by turning up at the Salvation Army outreach and I have to avoid the a lot of outreach because of her, she obviously has a home and everything, and here I am homeless and ashamed and scared of seeing her and unable to go to some of the outreach as a result.

I needed dentistry during this time, I knew nothing about NHS entitlement and so I ended up seeing a private dentist and they made a dreadful mess, I never had all my teeth, some of my molars never existed, but these dentists took two of my teeth out when they could have been repaired if I had known about NHS treatment and would thus have been able to afford repairs, the dentists made a terrible mess of taking the teeth anyway,breaking another tooth, and I needed stitches and meds and had dreadful pain and trouble, came out in a rash with sickness due to being given penicillin, and had a miserable time, now I have gaps in my gums where the teeth were, and the gaps get irritated and I have about three lower molars.

I was earning about £400 to 500 a month, it was not a lot, but my rent was low and the motorbike didn’t cost too much to run, so I survived, mainly I did not eat healthily though, as I didn’t know how to cook and my cooking facilities were limited, but I managed to get caught up in a few money draining scams which ‘seemed like a good idea at the time’, these caused me some stress and in one case JM did step in and help me out by speaking firmly to the people who were messing me about, I was hopeless with money and hopeless at realising that human beings did things with a motive and not through the kindness of their hearts, I did not have much money left over for myself, and with no savings or family money to back me up, I wasn’t saving for the future.

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