This is, as ever, not a suicide note, but there is no doubt that my body and mind are not able to go on surviving the horrendous amount of damage that has been done and is being done to me.
Those of you who are reading because you care, and I know that there are some. My last wish is that the church of england who destroyed me, are made accountable.
Not just for me, but accountable to some authority, somewhere, because at the moment, despite the fact that they are a government department, with Bishops announced by 10 Downing Street, and despite their charitable status, and despite the fact that hundreds of cases of abuse and misconduct are reported and mainly squashed every month, despite no other government department ever getting away with such, the church of england are accountable to no-one.
And once you are in the church of england and report abuse, they can destroy you in the most horrible and public ways possible and again, they are accountable to no-one. No-one at all, and as a vulnerable person, from my experience, I have been to every possible organization and cried for help, and been ignored or treated as mad, or in the case of the police, brutalized, told that the church had done nothing wrong and that I had no right to be looking to them for help when my problem was insanity.
Basically, this Great Grim Church answers only to itself, and no-one is ever effectively held accountable. And after years of suffering because of this, and having been villified for writing to people in the church who did wrong, I am now destroyed beyond repair, while other victims go away silenced and angry, are given police records or commit suicide, and the church of england are never made accountable, even though their actions and attitudes regarding abuse is as far from Christianity as it is possible to be.
So before my heart or mind fails me, I beg you, bring the church of england to account.
Even in my death, let my side be heard.