I have had a break from writing for a few days because I have been struggling with depression.
One of my biggest barriers to writing any form of blog on these matters is the trauma. I need to write because my side of things has been wiped out, drowned out and ignored and a conflicted enquiry that will prevent justice has gone ahead and has omitted my complaint against the Diocese of Winchester and their dangerous Safeguarding officer, Jane Fisher.
I hope to continue writing, first telling you some of my side of the last awful distressing and traumatic since months since the diocese forcefully and illegally had me traced and hurt me relentlessly ever since, and then moving on to the historic matters.
Can I tell you what it is like for me now? In three weeks time I am planning on doing my annual solo sponsored walk, this is no small feat as it is 70 miles and I am lame, I did it last year and raised £280, the walk is through one of my favourite places and I am actually excited about it as I loved it last year, but, and it is the same with all my college courses, activities and therapy and pastoral care, I am living in fear of the diocese coming along with their damaging conflicted inquiry and ripping this life off me and having me locked up again just to suit their agenda, and because they have done this to me before and repeatedly, this is no unfounded fear, as I prepare to announce my walk and plan it in detail, I expect the diocese to launch their attack over the next week in order to prevent me from returning to Jersey.
Though why I would want to return to Jersey, I have no idea, go back to suffering in a community that closed me out and damned me? a community where priests and politicians can do henious things and be protected and promoted? No, I am better off on the streets of the UK
The diocese and their bishop are cold, soulless people with not an atom of Christianity or compassion in them, they can destroy me very easily and I have no defence, the police refuse to protect me from the diocese and treat me as insane and bad. And that means no matter how I have worked to rebuild and enrich my life, I will always be under restriction and fear and opression. basically no matter what I do or anyone does to help me, it remains that I am damned by a police record and at risk from interventions by the diocese of Winchester and police attacks for my reaction forever.
This is why I intend to stay on the streets, move on if I have to escape the diocese, and stay ahead of the police and their attacks at all costs, even if I have to commit suicide rather than be brutalized and locked in again.