'Good morning and welcome to this service of family communion led by the Reverend JJ Nortyperson. Today we are going to talk about denominations - quick churchwardens! Lock the Doors!'
'Dear Reverend Nortyperson, When Jesus was tempted by the devil after His Baptism, did He live on Locums and wild honey like John the Baptist?'
According to legend, the Bishop of Winchester abides by, and advocates 3 P's.
One before he puts his dress on for the service, and one after the service. And one in the middle if they run short of communion wine.
She's not the Messiah, she's a very Nortyperson!