You know what, sometimes I build up anxiety and frustration like a volcano.
And when I hear from Bob Hill or anything about the church, it gets too much for me.
I still have flashbacks and nightmares about the way I was treated by the police and social services as a result of the diocese abusing their power and authority and the police and social services and other services blindly believing them because of who they are/were and because I was obviously very distressed and damaged.
So police and others treated me as mad and bad, no understanding or care of my side of things.
It will wound me until the day I die.
And you know what Church of England sheeple, who have never been through any of this would say?
'oh, you have to forgive, that will make it all alright, you are just being bitter'.
Oh if only life was as simple as their glib and comfortable words and world.
You could shout at the wealthy and comfortable old Church of England all day and still get blank looks. But you can be assured that these are the same people who Jesus raged at in Matthew 23, they are not the vulnerable people who gathered 5,000 shepherdless, to listen to Him, and who he had compassion on.
We, the poor and injured, are those who gathered to listen, and He warned us against the Church of England, the Church in Government, the Pharisees who lead people astray with their doctrine.
Bitterness? Reality. I bet even the Ould Bully and Dakin and Scott-Joynt wouldn't be able to credibly say that the Church of England isn't kept alive by wealthy older people who blindly believe in the CofE and blare at anyone who dares to challenge it.
And are the Bishops of the Church like Jesus, poor, homeless, despised by the pharisees? No, they all live in palaces, get a fat salary and do not deal with abuse and misconduct,and they mislead people, just like the pharisees.
Archbishop Welby, former banker, loves the finance industry and sees it as more important than justice for Chichester abuse victims.
'Called to help the lost, the last and the least'???
I can't find that in the Bible, whether it is there or not, but it was a statement of outright arrogance and judgement from a man who had overseen limitless harm to me.
However, Matthew 23 is in the Bible, and is directed at my destroyers, the modern day pharisees, the Church of England.